You know how you think you are funnier than you actually are? Yeah. That.

Tommy and I think that we are the most hysterical people on the planet. I am pretty sure that the rest of the planet would completely disagree, but, I gotta be honest here, that boy makes me laugh harder than anyone I have ever met. I find it very sad that there isn't a tv show with us as the stars. It would be a cult classic.

Earlier this week, we had a conversation on instant messenger (yes, we do most of our talking via instant messenger and texting...yayy internet age) regarding the age old debate of "More Dogs or No More Dogs?" I, of course, am right in thinking that we need more dogs, and Tommy (always the pessimist) is very anti-More Dogs.

Below is our discussion that we were both laughing about when we got home. For your information: "Pugzy" is what we call all dogs. "... ..." is intented to be the scene from Borat when he is learning to use the word "NOT".

The discussion begins when I sent him a link to a shelter hosting an adoption day...they were offering incentives for adopting older and bigger dogs.

Tommy: no more pugzys

me: why why why?
baaaaaby
they are on sale!!!

Tommy: its too much

me: puppies dont get any cheaper than that
you hate me

Tommy: never baby. just don't want to have an animal farm
one beast gets in the way enough
and the fur oh goodness

me: but baby! you let your other wife have two
its like you love her more than you love me
siiiiiiiiiiigh
the fur is good for you

Tommy: no way. those dogs weighed 15 pounds together

me: but it was two!
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
i will be pitiful tonight

Tommy: so we should have 70 the size of Betty?
glad you are going out to dinner then!
muhahaha

me: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
baby
this is not the choice

Tommy: it IS the choice
get a pugzy or not get a pugzy

me: GET A PUGZY!!

Tommy: ......
.....
.....
NOT
you would have 10 of them

me: hahahahaha
sooooo?@???!?!?
i would be so happy

Tommy: We wouldn't be able to even walk down the stairs
wouldnt remember their names

me: hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Tommy as long as we never go out of town
wouldnt even know if one got away...
spend all evening just counting the pugzys

me: hahahahahahaha

Tommy: haha
you can come home at lunch and let the pugzys out

Lydia.

Lydia, Lydia, Lydia.

Payback is a b1tch, ain't it?

For those who don't know (and if you don't know, we aren't friends because I talk about this ALL THE TIME), there was a girl at my wedding - Lydia - who came as the date of my friend Matt. I had maybe met Lydia once before, but whatever, it didn't matter. She was Matt's date and my photographers One True Love [batting eyelashes].

In my photographers defense, she did stand near me for most of our wedding reception while we all danced our hearts out. HOWEVER, this does not negate the fact that this girl (whom I barely know) is in almost every single one of my wedding pictures. Every. Single. One.

My photographer loved her. Loved her. Like, asked the pastor if they could get married right after us, loved her.

Alas, I was not a happy camper when I finally got to see all my wedding pictures.

I vowed to pay Lydia back. And since she is getting married soon, I had elaborate plans to show up and hang on her all night. It was going to be fabulous.

But as life does, it gave me the payback I deserved...or pay FORWARD if you will.

My friend Rebecca got married this weekend in New Orleans and had a very casual ceremony where we all stood around them in a circle while a friend of theirs read the vows. Well, I ended up standing RIGHT freaking NEXT to her during her vows. I was totally a bridesmaid.

I photobombed every single one of their wedding pictures.

I tried to smile so I would at least look decent in the pictures but dude, I was holding a glass of wine like it was a bouquet. Not exactly framing material.

Lydia, this photobomb is for you.

And Rebecca, I give you full permission to take my uninvited place at Lydia's wedding for some serious photobombing. Or you can just wait and pay it forward.

Present of the Year

In case you weren't sure what to buy your daughter, nephew, kid down the street, Amazon has done and gone solved all your problems!

Check this out...make sure to read the first review.

Olympic Dreams

The olympic trials for the marathon are coming here in 2012...OMG. The race will be the day before the Houston Marathon and I can't wait to compete. I'll probably run both days.

Ha.

On a serious note, this is very exciting news. This race will bring amazing athletes to town and I can't wait to watch them!

On an unserious note, I did a track workout this morning. We did 5x800's and then 4x100's. I've never run just 100 meters before and it was interesting to say the least. The first thing I noticed is that I don't lace my shoes tightly enough for running that fast. The second thing I noticed was that no matter how fast I was running I will never be fast.

Siiigh.

During those 100m sprints, I would swear to you that I was a running goddess. I was flying like the wind. I could have qualified for the olympics. I was a winner. I hath ne'er run so fast. It felt amazing.

And then I got lapped by Adam on his cool down.

He is always one upping me. I run the marathon in 4 hours, he runs it in 3. I run 100 meters as fast as I can, he runs a mile...faster. Jerk.

Someday my little ones, someday.

Or not. The closest I will ever get to being fast is to sit on the side of the road at the Olympic trials in 2012. I better start training now.

The Verdict Is In.

Yup, I should be eating about 800 more calories per day than I normally do.

WTF.

This sounds exciting in theory, but I'm terrified of gaining weight. If I gain five pounds, I won't be able to shop in normal people stores anymore...so this is definitely a risk. But what I'm currently doing isn't working and I am paying this nice lady to tell me what to do...I just need to listen to her!

She also said that my salt consumption is probably acceptable since I work out so much...so na na nana na!! I win! Salt for everyone!

Now I am sitting in my cubicle, not hungry, with a LOT of calories left to eat today. I'm fantasizing about cheese fries, but I'm pretty sure that's not what she intended...

Risk Taker

Every article of clothing I wear to work is a solid colored sweater. I have every color of the rainbow, every style imaginable (although, I tend to gravitate towards turtlenecks and cardigans), and I wear them everyday with a different color of slacks (all the same brand, cut, and length).

It's wierd because in my "outside of work" life, I tend to think of myself as at least semi-fashion forward. Yet, I have never, ever, worn anything but solid colored sweaters to work in the last 6 years.

I'm that much of a risk taker.

I could blame it on my engineering background...engineers aren't exactly known for their fashion sense, but alas, since I'm obsessed with shoes and own at least 14 pairs of jeans, I don't think I can get away with this excuse.

One of my goals for the year is to not purchase a single solid colored sweater.

(I think I will allow myself to replace a basic staple if needed however...think black cardigans)

I purchased my first print on Friday. There was another version of it in brown/yellow, but I decided for my first print, I should play it safe. That way, if I feel uncomfortable, I can snap up my black cardigan and no one will be the wiser.


It was tough getting dressed this morning, but I made myself do it and, much to my surprise, I survived the day.

Phew. I need a glass of wine. Maybe next time I can get the colorful one? Or not.

Fighting the Good Fight

As we all know, I struggle with my weight. Everytime I eat something (anything), I think to myself, do I really WANT/NEED this? How does eating this help me fuel the machine? Sometimes I eat out of boredom, sometimes I eat because I have a craving, sometimes I eat because I am hungry...but mostly, I eat because I enjoy it.

I like eating. I like food and the way it tastes. I like the social activity of sharing a meal with someone. All in all, I just like eating.

For the last year, I have been seriously watching what I eat and working out more than the average bear but with no results. The good news is that I am exactly the same size I was when I was 14...the bad news is that I must have been a giant at 14. (I had always thought I was a giant teenager but everyone told me I wasn't big...it's good to finally know that my anxiety was justified...15 years later, but justified nonetheless). But in the last year, I have lost 0 pounds, 0 inches and 0 % body fat. WTF!

Everyone kept saying, "Well you drink a lot" (which I do, but only on the weekends and it actually nets out to a normal weekly consumption), "Well, you eat a lot of Mexican food" (I don't...I just only eat it socially, so if you and I go out to eat, we eat Mexican, and therefore you assume I eat Mexican everynight), "Well, you don't work out enough" (Screw you!). Alas, I got tired of complaining about my weight and not knowing what to do about it.

Soooo, I'm going to a nutritionist. In our first meeting, her response was that I am not eating enough. WHAT?

Calories in <= Calories out is a bunch of crap.

After entering every morsel of food I ate last week, she is right. It was relatively normal week. I missed 2 workouts because I was sick, but I also ate less because I wasn't feeling all that great. We went to the Rodeo Cookoff and I gorged myself on BBQ and beer...but my long run and swim in the morning pretty much negated it all. On average, I eat about 500 calories less than I should to lose 1 pound per week. She says my body is starving itself. Awesome.

My fear with this is that I will have to eat more and then I will gain weight...but I hired her to help me, so I am just going to (attempt) to put my trust in her. Wish me luck.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

Tommy and I spent our Valentines Day wandering the neighborhood and going to open houses (we finished our wonderful walk at Cedar Creek where we enjoyed a few beers and a delicious, albeit not nutritious, linner).

We started at the one across the street. We had looked at this exact house but a few streets away when we were in the market. We discovered pretty quickly that while we liked the layout, they were overpriced (WAY overpriced), had a wierd front yard (very Pleasantville), didn't have master suite (AT ALL! No bathroom, no closet, no nothing!) and the third bedroom would have been better suited as a closet (a small closet). All in all, we weren't impressed. Regardless, I wanted to check out this house because I like checking out how other people decorate and snooping.

Open houses are pretty much my happy place.

So, away we went and we met the wonderful (ha!) realtor at the house. I was wearing my IMCOZ visor and he struck up a conversation about Ironman. Darn. I had now acheived TWO goals for the day: I was gonna get to snoop AND I got to talk about Ironman to someone who cared. HOORAY! Best Valentines Day EVER.

The three of us got to talking about Cozumel and racing in general. It was love at first sight...until it wasn't. Isn't that always the case with love at first sight? Siiigh. Well, while Realtor Man seemed super cool at first, he quickly turned on the dooshbaggy-ness for all the world to see.

His first comment was, "Yeah, my $12,000 bike should be here soon. I know that will make all the difference in the world. I won't have to worry about my biking anymore once that gets here." Okay buddy, sure thing.

Then he goes on to say that he "is phenomenal on the swim and the run and with the new bike I should be amazing there as well. I can run a marathon in like, under 4 hours." HAHAHAHA. Dude, a 4 hour marathon is pretty awesome and very respectable..."phenomenal"? No. I don't think a 4 hour marathon is phenomenal. At all. He says he raced Houston this year and did amazing.

Then he asks how well we did in Cozumel. We tell him that we finished in just under 13 hours (which BTW is pretty freaking AWESOME) and his response is, "Yeah, that's semi-respectable." WTF dude? Seriously?

He says that he is going to qualify for Kona this year and that his half times are incredible. (Who says that?). We ask what halves he has done and what his times are and he doesn't know. Um, what? Everyone knows. You KNOW your PR for a race like that. And frankly, if you are training for an Ironman, you are a Type A personality, and you have all your PR's memorized. And if you are too senile to memorize them, you have them written down in your wallet so you can reference them at any given moment. Seriously.

At about this point in the conversation I am trying to edge my way out before I say something like, "Dude, you won't qualify for Kona in this lifetime, but keep up the power of positive thinking." Because seriously, he sucked so much.

We finally escaped without me slapping some sense into him and I spent the next few hours devising a plan to stalk him. I searched his name, I searched old race databases, I searched athlinks, I searched it all and the verdict is that this boy ain't done no races! He didn't race the Houston Marathon (although his wife, whom he claimed is even faster than him, may have finished in a solid 5:43hours...phenomenal). He didn't race any Ironman brand races EVER, isn't on Athlinks, and doesn't exist in the racing world at all.

Sorry pal. You're just another poser. Memorize some fake race splits and maybe someone will believe you.

Get out there and race!!

Blogging Fodder.

If I am ever at a lack of things to blog about, please, just send me to the Lab Test room at St. Josephs. I got more material there in 20 minutes than I got in my own life in the last 2 years. Seriously. I was almost crying...oh wait, I was crying. But those tears were because the stupid hoe that ATTEMPTED to take my blood missed my giant veins and felt the need to go on a digging adventure...the antics going on in the waiting room was some of the most entertaining stuff I have ever seen.

I can't detail all of it for you lest I seem like I have no heart for homeless people...so, let's just say that hanging out in the Lab Test Room at St. Joseph's is where all the professional singers from Broadway come once they get too old/fat/ugly to make it big anymore. It was like a freaking concert. But not a good one.

The homeless people just sang and sang and sang. Only the good Lord might be able to able to tell us WHAT they were singing, because I'm pretty sure those weren't words...but it also wasn't humming. Just incoherent blathering on. Loudly. And out of tune. And with total disregard to anyone else in the room.

(Let the record show that I find singing in public places, specifically showers at the gym, totally offensive for reasons unknown even to myself. Regardless, this singing was hysterical.)

Finally an un-homeless man (approximately 50 years old) sat down opposite a singing homeless man (approximately 25 years old). This was apparently the opening that Homeless Man was looking for. Homeless Man launched into a Question/Answer segment during which I learned a lot about his life. The conversation went something like this:

Homeless Man: Have you heard of Patrick Swayze?
UnHomeless Man: Yes.
Homeless Man: I went to the school with that guy.
*Editors note: Homeless Man is no more than 25...and since being homeless probably ages you, he is probably more like 17. Patrick Swayze is/was old enough to by my father.
UnHomeless Man: Oh really?
Homeless Man: Yeah, his picture was on the wall. Have you ever seen Dirty Dancing? Or Ghost? He was in those movies.
UnHomeless Man: Yeah, I've seen those movies.
Homeless Man: Ghost was scary. I don't like ghosts.

And then he left. I really wanted to hear more about the ghosts. What we couldn't figure out was whether or not Homeless Man that good ol' Pat had died. No one wanted to break that news to him. Especially since he has this fear of ghosts and all.

Happy Ash Wednesday.

Lent is basically the poor mans New Years Resolution. If you failed at your resolutions, you get a second chance to try them again...and you only have to do it for 40 days, not a whole year like that New Years Resolution crap.

These Christians are geniuses!

I don't really do New Years Resolutions. I prefer to think of them as goals. Regardless, it's all the same sh1t different day. I DO do (doodoo. Ha.) Giving Things Up for Lent though. Even though I am not really religious. I just find that it's easier to commit to something for 40 days than to committ for a whole year. Commit-a-phobic? Probably. There is a reason I can't just pick a place to go on vacation. Seriously.

I think the word you are looking for is, anyways...

Every year I give up saying the F word. I also fail at this every year because frankly, I like saying the F word. It's my favorite word. I think it really adds something to a story. It's that je ne sais quoi every story is looking for. So, I always fail at this goal because my heart isn't really in it. Whatever. I'll add it to the list again this year just so it looks like I'm trying. That's for you mom.

This year I will also be attempting to give up all the crap food just sitting around my office...all the time. If I can do it for 40 days, I will succeed. Hell, if I can avoid all the crap food in the office for a week it would be considered a success.

40 days without leftover, cold, germ contaminated pizza. I hope I can survive.

F you.

Who Needs Sleep?

So, I fell in love with the Barenaked Ladies because of their song "Who Needs Sleep?" which was (and still is) my anthem for life.

Who needs sleep?
(well you're never gonna get it)
Who needs sleep?
(tell me what's that for)
Who needs sleep?
(be happy with what you're getting)
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War

Unfortunately, this song really resonated with me because I don't really sleep. Ever.

I can sleep in about 3 hour increments about twice a day (but never consecutively). For example, I could go to bed at 10pm, sleep until 1am and then lay awake (exhausted) for the rest of the night and then I could take a 3 hour nap sometime in the afternoon (if my job would allow it).

In college, I once tried a plan where I slept from 3-7am and then 3-7pm so I could still get 8 hours of rest a day, go to class and party until 2am...unfortunately for me, I don't like to party until 2am. I like happy hour and this plan didn't really accomodate to my lifestyle of daytime drinking. Sooo, my wonderfully crafted 4 hour naps went in the garbage.

Alas, I haven't slept in quite some time. HOWEVER, last night, in a stroke of sleeping genius, I slept for a solid 5 hours! I went to bed at 10:30 and woke up at 4am disoriented and confused (because seriously, this has never happened!). And then, when I realized the magicalness of the slumber I had been in, I got so excited and couldn't go back to sleep. So, I'm still tired despite the best sleep in recent memory. Haha.

Such is life and will never be a winner in life.

A sidenote to how sweet my husband is:
When we went to bed, I was the big spoon (because my ear had been hurting and I couldn't lay on my right side to be the little spoon) and we were pretty much on his side of the bed. When I woke up at 4am, I was still the big spoon and he was pretty much falling off the bed. I moved back to my side to revel in the joy that is 5 solid hours of sleep!

When he finally woke up, I told him about the greatness of my sleep and he told me that he woke up around 2am really uncomfortable but he realized that I was still cuddling him and asleep (this is how crazy it is that I slept this long) and he didn't want to wake me up. So he tried to be as still and quiet as possible so as not to wake the monster [me]. The poor guy slept uncomfortably for several hours so as to not disturb me...THAT my friends, is a good man right there.

New February Resolutions

There is apparently a huge group of people out there who failed to make their New Years Resolutions at the beginning of the new year. And this huge group of people is now invading my gym. This is February people, you were supposed to have quit by now!

Nothing really changed in January. There were a couple of new people, but really, it wasn't anymore crowded than normal (well, at least not MUCH). My gym is small so even a couple of newbies made a difference, but I was still always able to get the machines I wanted, a shower when I needed it and a hairdryer to dry my hair.

HOWEVER, on Monday I came to work to shower (because why would I shower in the gorgeous new shower I have at home? Yeah, doesn't make sense to me either.). Regardless, I shower at work 4 out of 5 days a week and Amy and I are the only people there (there is an occasional drifter, but usually just the two of us) and we like it that way. I get the shower I want when I want it and the space at the counter to do my hair.

Back to my story...I came to work to shower and I get my bench ready (there is a system of course) when I notice that all the other benches are occupied. THEN I had to shower in a less-than-optimal shower AND share my bench with someone. Mon dieu!

What I couldn't grasp was that it is FEBRUARY. No one joins a gym in February! I'll share my treadmill in January because I know it will only last a few weeks, but what if people start actually sticking to their goals? What will my world come to?

In other news, I got my butt kicked in the pool by a 12 year old girl. Awesome. WAy to boost the ego. In turn, I kicked a 80 year old dude's butt, but it didn't really help to build my self esteem up.

Pizza.

If you work in Corporate America, you better like pizza. In fact, this should probably be one of the questions on the aptitude tests given to fifth graders. Children who don't like pizza should be steered toward jobs to be a teacher, doctor, lawyer (for a small, non-Corporate America firms) or a garbage man. I guarantee that these kids will not grow up to like Corporate America if they don't like pizza.

Pizza Haters would not like working in Corporate America because everyone likes free food. Free food is always (we will say 99.99999% of the time) better than any food that you could have possibly paid for. And if there is free food around, most self-respecting (or in my case, un-self-respecting) people will eat the free food.

And this food is always (we will say 97.9999% of the time) pizza.

So, all you pizza haters out there, go find a new job and leave the pizza to us cubicle dwellers. We NEED it.

***UPDATE: Also, unlike the quickly devoured delicious AND nutritious pizza, there is an overwhelming amount of leftover melon in Corporate America. On any given fruit tray, the grapes and strawberries are snatched up immediately, only to leave all this disgusting melon festering in self pity and low self-esteem. Nobody likes melon. Why do we insist on putting it on a fruit tray??

Simple Pleasures.

I was tagged by Kathleen to make a list of the 10 simple pleasures I find in life. I didn't include my family or friends because hey, those aren't simple pleasures, those are the great big amazing pleasures that I am thankful for everyday! Hip hip hooray.

In no particular order:

1. Warm days spent lounging with a block of cheese and a bottle of wine.
2. Ridiculous dog costumes.
3. Sleeping outside (or at the very least, with the window open).
4. Dutch ovens. Gas is an art, use it wisely.
5. Beaches, water, vacations, etc…but really, Galveston will suffice when absolutely necessary.
6. Snail mail!
7. The smell of freshly cut grass, freshly copied paper, fireplaces (you know, that smell of winter?) and laundry detergent. And frankly, I liked the artificial smell of port-a-potties until I realized that that smell I liked was, in fact, the artificial smell of port-a-potties. And that's just gross.
8. Really terrible TV.
9. Saturday morning breakfast after a long run. Really, just going out to breakfast in general.
10. Singing along to the radio...and not knowing the words. Bennie and the Jets ring a bell? I'm deaf. It's not my fault!

I'm supposed to tag other bloggers, but frankly, I think I am the very last blogger in the blogosphere to do this silly little game, so I won't bother. If you read my blog and you blog and you haven't yet blogged about your simple pleasures, then, please, my all means, blog away. Consider yourself tagged.

Corporate America.

I take my social cues from Corporate America. And just like Corporate America, I will just now begin to develop my personal goals for 2010 (although, let's be honest, corporations haven't developed their yearly goals yet...must. wait. till. after the first quarter.). My logic being that if I develop them now, instead of at the beginning of the year, I will only have 11 months to accomplish 12 months worth of things and therefore, my disappointment won't be so terrible when I fail.

Yeah, that's it.

My goals for 2010 include, but are not limited to:
1. Being a better person. For example: Stop yelling at stupid people. They know they are stupid and they don't need to be reminded constantly. Or do they?
2. Drop a pants size. (this will never happen and will totally be blamed on my 11 month deadline. If I had only had one more month...)
3. Enjoy life more. I feel like I do this to the extreme most of the time, but really, if there is one part of your life where there is always room for improvement, this is it.
4. Start volunteering at the animal shelter again. Ironman derailed my volunteering in 2009 and I miss the puppies! (Sidenote: adopt a dog from a shelter today!)
5. Get faster! Specifically, I want to run a 1:50 half marathon in 2010 (the Houston Marathon in Jan will also qualify to meet this goal)
6. Save more money so Tommy and I can move to the beach sooner rather than later.

To accomplish these goals, I have plans and diagrams and goals. Yes, because I am THAT anal retentive. Being a better person is hard to quantify, but we will just give me an E for effort regardless.

To get faster, I have developed a very fun race schedule and I plan on just simply running faster. I'm capable, but I'm also lazy. Sooo, I need motivation...here is the race schedule:

March 6-7 Texas Independence Relay - TEAM PACE BOOTY!
March 13 Bayou City Classic 10K
April 10 Gateway to the Bay Sprint Triathlon
April 11 Gateway to the Bay Olympic Triathlon
May 16 Florida Ironman 70.3 (that's a half Ironman for you non-triathlon nerds)
August 15 The Hottest Half - Half Marathon
September 25 Redman Half Ironman
October 24 The Houston Half - Half Marathon
December 12 White Rock Half - Half Marathon
January 30 Aramco Houston Half Marathon

There will be some sprints and olympic triathlons and 5Ks and 10Ks sprinkled in there over the summer and fall. Also, our September/Oct/Nov has not been finalized...we are toying with vacation dates and races and going to IMFL or IMAZ vs Longhorn Ironman 70.3 and Ironstar Half Ironman and Bike Around the Bay. Sooo, there is still some debate there. I'll keep you posted.

The Hottest Half will be my half marathon debut for 2010. I don't plan on meeting my goal 0f 1:50 at this race (although if I do, then YAYY!) since it will be hotter than a pig at a luau, but it will be a nice gauge of my fitness at that point of my training. Since I don't plan on running more than 15 miles in all of 2010, planning my training schedule has been strange to say the least.

Regardless of what happens in 2010 though, I am the luckiest girl in the world and I look forward to waking up everyday next to the man that I love, hanging out with the bestest friends I could possibly ever hope for, doing a job I enjoy, living in a city where it's always warm (except for that one time when it snowed and I cried), with the fluffiest puppy EVER. Thank you guys for helping me be so happy - MUCH LOVE!

Now, all I need to do is survive Wedding Madness 2010 and all will be well with the world...

Geaux Saints. (that was for you my dear)

22.5 Miles is BASICALLY a Marathon.

Well, I didn't finish. Ha. Big surprise.

I started the race with a cell phone and cab fare...which usually indicates a slightly less than stellar mentality for race day. My theory is that to finish a marathon you have to have some heart and you have to want it...and I didn't have either of these qualities on Sunday.

What did surprise me was how much fun I still had. I started off running with 2 friends - one hoping to PR the full (under 4 hours) and the other planning on pacing him till the half turn-around at Mile 9. I lasted with them for about 1.5 miles. Ha. I chatted with some other friends and just generally enjoyed my morning jaunt. By the the time we reached the half turnaround, I felt like I could run all day, so I kept going (instead of turning and just doing the half)...unfortunately, but the time I hit mile 9, I was pretty well done. Ooops.

I kept forging onward in hopes of PRing the first half of the marathon, knowing full well that this would greatly hurt my chances of finishing the race (but that's why I packed cab fare, eh?). After mile 9, my pace dropped considerably, but I was still able to PR the half by a solid 3 minutes. No complaints here! If I had kept my original pace, I would have broken the elusive 2:00 barrier...but I know I can do it this year. 2010 is the year for speed! Regardless, 2:05:33 is nothing to be ashamed about!

As to be expected, I was pretty wasted after that...and I was at the furthest point from the finish line. AWESOME. Ha. I kept jogging for another 2 miles, run/walked for 2 miles after that, and by mile 17, I was done. I just didn't FEEL like running anymore. So, I got out my phone, started calling friends, looking for a ride and played games on my cell phone. It was pretty fun.

Unfortunately, due to my location, the closest ride I could get was at mile 22 (yeah, that means I walked another 5 miles...ugh!), but luckily Thomas was able to come and get me. I was three sheets to the wind at this point, because hey, if you're walking, you can totally drink all the beer the offer on the course. Hooray!

Best. Marathon. Ever.

Thomas dropped me off about a half mile from the finish - I took my can of Coors (and removed by chip) and hopped back on the course to get my finishers shirt. I've never felt so good crossing the finish line of a marathon.

I really enjoyed my run and I still beat a goal for the day - all in all, not a bad day! I am a little disappointed I didn't finish the race and continue my 6 year streak of finishing this race, but I ultimately decided it was the safest option in terms of my body and dude, getting a ride to the finish line is just plain funny.

I doubt I will run the marathon again anytime soon. I just don't have the energy for a race of that length or the training that goes along with it. I want to get fast. I KNOW I have a sub 4 hour marathon in me, but at what cost? Right now, I'm gonna focus on 10Ks and half marathons and I plan on breaking some big personal records this year!

GET READY!

I'm lame. But It's Still Mine.

And this is my pathetic attempt to win some Zipp 404's.

Please please please pick me.

I'll be really good this year, I promise.

It's Mine!

It's my blog and I can talk about whatever I want. I usually focus on mildy amusing things that happen to me and/or swimbikerun, but today I came across this and found it very interesting.

I'm curious as to what other people think about children with technology and/or free speech. There are two sides to every coin and repercussions to every action.

I think I lean towards the camp of "I have the right to say what I want but you don't have the right to not be offended". Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but in general, this is where I lean.

I don't think a 7 year old should have unrestricted access to the internet, but I also think the nieghbor is a rude idiot. This being said, I don't think the neighbor should be REQUIRED to change his wifi name. Should be change it to be polite? Probably. But should he be required to? I don't think so.

I'm intrigued.

Farewell to the Marathon?

I've given up hope for having a rockin' good marathon. In fact, I probably have no business attempting to crawl a marathon, nevermind run it. Regardless, I intend to toe the starting line on Sunday...and hopefully toe the finish line as well.

However, I only plan to run while I feel good and painfree. The minute I start to hurt (more than normal marathon hurt) I plan on hopping up on the curb to join the spectators. I am only going to run for as long as it is fun...which may be 26.2 miles or it may be 4. I'm okay with either option!

I know that no matter how well (or poorly) I do in this race, I know I am capable of better. This past season showed me what I am capable of and I plan on reaching that level again next year...but I am smart enough to know that even if I CAN break 4:30 this year, that only means that I could have done better had I not done the Ironman. So, why kill myself this time? Hence my plan to run while it's fun.

Next year I will see what I am made of...or maybe I will just say that I am made of a 4:43 marathon (my current PR) and call it a day. My true love lies in the triathlon anyway and my biggest fear in pushing myself too hard on this race is it's effect on the rest of my triathlon season.

I had originally planned on this being my final marathon. The marathon just isn't my bag and I don't think my knees like it that much. I'd rather run forever than run marathons for only a few more years. This being said, I had originally said this would be my final marathon when I thought I could rock it. Since I can't rock it, (or even if I DO rock it, I know I could rock it MORE), we will see what the future holds.

Regardless, good luck to all of you running the Houston full marathon, the half marathon and the 5K! It should be a gorgeous day for a run! Leave your headphones at home and just enjoy the people around you! Race day is why you train...and you can only really enjoy it if you can experience all the sights and sounds!

Chuck Norris Never Ran 26.2!!

Candy Etiquette

There is a right and a wrong way to eat candy. This blog will teach you everything you need to know.

The main rule is to always eat the favorite flavor last. If in doubt, eat in pairs and always ending with red.

Starburst – Open the whole package, eat the yellow and orange ones in whatever order you deem appropriate. Then eat the pink and red ones on an alternating basis, finishing with the color you like better that day.

Now-N-Laters – Due to the individually packaged nature of this candy, make sure you have a trash receptacle near by. These candies also require a slightly warmer temperature than normal candies, so be prepared to heat them.1 To eat them, you must open the green section and eat them first. Nobody likes green candy and I’m still not sure why candy companies continue to make it. Regardless, eat the green ones because it’s candy and it’s just wrong to throw it out. Then, open the red and purple sections, warm them to the appropriate temperature, and eat them in an alternating fashion, beginning with purple (so that you will end on red).

Skittles – Skittles are a candy that are okay to waste. Assuming you are eating a full bag2, you are allowed to throw out the yellow, green and orange ones if you so desire. If you want to eat the whole bag, eat these colors in whatever order you want, but always (always) at least two at a time. Mixing colors is acceptable. Once the offending colors are removed from the bag, you may now move on to the purple and red. These too shall be eaten in pairs, but mixing colors is no longer allowed. You will pour a handful from the bag, pair them up, always ending each handful with red. If you happen to pour an odd number you may eat three at once…of all the same color.

SweetTarts – Due to the packaging (Spree will have a similar problem), you are required to eat these in the order given to you…and no two packages are the same. Unfortunately, no one on earth likes the blue ones, so you will forced to eat them.3 So, unwrap one end and begin your quest. Once you near the last 5-10 SweetTarts, you should unwrap the remaining candies and sort them according to color. All the blues shall be eaten first, then yellow and green, followed closely by orange, and of course, finishing with an alternating purple and red strategy. If you have been bad lately, you may not have any red in your last handful, at which point you should seriously evaluate your life because someone is out to get you.

Spree – With similar packaging as the SweetTarts, your plan of attack will be similar. HOWEVER (and I cannot stress this enough), Spree is the only candy on Earth where the green ones are the best. Please follow the SweetTart regimen but finish with green. You must finish with green.

Nerds – The key to Nerds is that you mustn’t EVER mix the colors.4 Upon purchasing a box of Nerds, you should decide which side of the box will be the best and eat that side last. You are required to fully consume the less-good side of the box before moving to the more-good side. If your spouse asks to have a taste of your Nerds, he/she is required to take a pull from the side you are currently eating.5

Gummi Worms – Gummi Worms are surprisingly easy to eat and have very few rules. They must be eaten in pairs, and preferably ending with at least one blue/red worm.

Gum – Also an easy-to-eat candy. Gum must eaten in pairs. If your spouse chooses to eat only one piece of gum, you are allowed to either hit him/her or eat three pieces in your next round.

Lollipops – How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? I dunno. And neither should you. Lollipops should only be licked until they lose their sticky outer layer at which point, they should be bitten and their innards eaten.

Gummi-Savers – Thankfully for the plastic carrying case, this package can be opened all at once and the appropriate candies eaten in order. Open your Gummi Savers and eat all the yellow and green ones. Then, because in gummi form you can’t tell which is orange or red, alternate them with the purple and find which ever one you like the best. End with that one.

Life-Savers – Life Savers should be eaten in the order in which they are packaged. Unfortunately, depending on which end you open, this could be catastrophic or delicious. Regardless, eat them in the order in which they are packaged until you get to the end – your last two Lifesavers should always be red then white.6

Fun Dip – When will Fun-Dip makers learn that 2 Lik-M-Aid sticks are not enough? You will eat the purple sugary goodness first (even though it’s in the middle…make it work) with your first Lik-M-Aid stick. Then, after you have sufficiently crashed from your sugar high and your spouse is about to divorce you, you should begin on the red section with your second Lik-M-Aid stick. Shortly after eating this second pack, you will be covered in colored sugar7 and totally disgusted with yourself. When you feel the need to fuel your self loathing again, you should begin on the blue/green packet…but you will be out of Lik-M-Aid sticks, so you will have to use your finger. Your finger and tongue will be green for approximately 3 days.8

1. I use the “under the leg method”. Since I eat these while driving, I will warm a couple up by sticking them under my leg and turning on the seat warmer. It’s quite effective.
2. Not a Fun Pack. Due to the restricted amount of candies in a fun pack, you are always required to consume the full amount in a Fun Pack.
3. Ideally, you will eat these with a friend who has their own package and by some wishful thinking, this friend will prefer the blue ones and you will be able to trade with them.
4. In the event of a rainbow box, you may mix colors, but you must separate out the big fat ones from the small ones. The big fatties should be eaten individually.
5. If your spouse is sneaky and waits until you have finished the less-good side to ask for some candy (because all he wants is the more-good side) you are no longer required to share with him.
6. Another one of the candy anomalies, white Lifesavers are clearly the best flavor.
7. Because this is EASILY the messiest candy ever created.
8. It is sometimes best to find a small child with a harried mother to give this to. They will appreciate it.

Doggone Debate

Tommy and I regularly discuss getting another dog. I am very pro-dog and Tommy (always the rational and boring one) is anti-dog. And by discuss, I mean that I send him pictures of puppies and he sends replies that just say, "no." Ugh.

If I were rich I would move to the middle of nowhere (preferably near the coast) and open my own puppy house. I would just take in dogs that I loved and it would be magical. So, my desire to have more than the one dog is pretty high.

I HAD been saying that after the Ironman, I would be pushing for another dog, because life would calm down then, but in reality, my life never calms down...so, in getting another dog, I just have to factor boarding costs into the equation. But it's after the Ironman and we still don't have another dog.

I want a young-ish female dog. Not a puppy - puppies are adorable, but dude, could they BE more irritating? So, in the 8mos-1.5 years range is ideal - still trainable and young enough to have a full life with me, but not so young that they will feel the need to teeth on my couch and need to pee every 5 minutes.

I want a female because my wonderful 7 year old male dog has started marking his territory and it's irritating as sh1t.

I want a furry one because furry ones are just cuter and preferably black (so I will only have one color of hair on my clothes). The black is negotiable. The furry is not.

And my last demand is that said puppy grow to be on the smallish side...more than 15lbs, less than 50lbs...



I need another dog, right?

Save the Whales.

Spandex is not made for just anyone. In fact, spandex is not made for anyone eat all. That shit is just evil.

In triathlon, we are "forced" to wear spandex, head to toe, lest we opt to waste LOTS of time changing in transition (which we don't want to do, so, spandex happens). Before a race, we all stand around, looking like beached whales, trying to suck in our guts and intimidate the other whales around us. It'll never happen. Because no matter how hot your body is, a full suit of spandex is just wrong.

Nonetheless, our Texas Independence Relay team - Team Pace Booty - has opted to make tri kits for us to race in and then to also wear for the Florida Half we are all doing.

We got the sample kits in the mail yesterday to tri on (ha!) and DUDE, they are awful. I hath ne'er looked so beached. I shan't be eating until May. Hooray! But, we will look cool as a team in our matching TPB uniforms. It'll be worth it, but let's seriously hope that there are no cameras. I'm pretty sure my ass looks exponentially larger in that kit...and it didn't need ANY help in that department.

So, save the whales! Go Team Pace Booty!

A rose by any other name…

…might smell just as sweet, but in my house, I can guarantee that rose IS called by some other name and it may or may not smell nice.

I have always felt the need to name inanimate objects but this desire has gotten much worse since Tommy and I moved in together. We agree on a lot of things, politics, the delicious taste of beer, dirty kids, loud dance clubs, etc, but at the very top of this list is this undying desire to name things.

Growing up I had a stereo named Esmerelda. My first car was named The Blue Goose (we called him The Goose for short). My vacuum is named Ramone. My pillow is named Squishie. My dog is named Donny, but he goes by Don, The Don, Dog, Beast, Monster, and most recently, Pugsy. Lord knows where we came up with that.

We named our cars Oscar and Freddy and our bikes are Mr. Moto, Rocky, Flo, and Roxie (there are also two unnamed bikes, but due to their lack of name, they cannot be mentioned here). Modes of transportation MUST have names. If I had a skateboard, I’d name it Jake.

We call our farts "cakes". It makes the whole experience much more enjoyable. Everybody loves cake!

Our friends Tiffany and Harold also like to name things, but mostly they just like to name living things and make life confusing for anyone who steps over their threshold (I think they are constantly trying to test me). Tiffany also goes by TT. Tansie, the dog, can also be called Lulu. Caleb will answer to Doey and Madison is ReRe. I’m surprised I can even remember them all.

What IS this obsession to give nicknames or titles to things? My mom always said that she regrets naming me Christine when she had every intention of calling me Christy. I mean, what’s the point? And then, just to spite her, I went by Ben for the duration of my teenage years. Muuuhahaha.

UPDATE: My wonderful friends Natalie and Tommy (who also happens to be my super special friend) have reminded me of a few that I forgot. Our Christmas tree is named Debbie...O Tennenbaum! She is a Deborah Fir, ya know. We also had Meatloaf the rat infestation shortly after Meatloaf sang at the Superbowl (or something)...and then we bought a rat Christmas tree ornament. His name is Meatloaf too. There is Eva the computer and Burnie the Burglar (named for his desire to burn our house to the ground while we sleep). We also have Sally the inflatable dolphin and Tally the inflatable sheep. If I remember correctly though, we are now on our second inflatable sheep...so Tally II.

***************************************

In unrelated news, I’ve been thinking about candy dishes a lot lately. I’ve primarily been thinking about them because I have a DESPERATE need for candy that I have yet to fulfill today but also because they present a conundrum that I don’t quite understand.

I work in CubicleVille where people have baskets and buckets and bowls of candy on their desks. Some of these dishes are accessible without entering the cube while some are located inside the cube and require the removal of a lid (so intimidating!).

I often walk by these candy bowls, craving some Laffy Taffy goodness, only to walk on by without indulging because I don’t understand the dynamics of candy dishes and I’m afraid to break any candy rules.

What are the rules for consuming candy out of other people’s candy dishes? Am I required to stop and chat awhile? For how long? Or can I just grab a mini-Twix and be on my merry way? If I constantly eat one person’s candy am I required to replenish their dish at some point? What about if they are gone? Can I still take a Lifesaver?

What is my moral obligation in regards to eating this seemingly “community” candy? I don’t have a candy dish because I don’t have enough self control to not eat the whole thing in one sitting and I don’t eat out of other people’s candy bowls (much) because the whole thing makes me very uncomfortable.

The weight of this issue is too much to bear sometimes. Please shoulder this burden with me. I need your support.

Thanks.

Another 26.2

Truthfully, the thought of running another marathon right now makes me a little bit nauseous. Odds of getting violently ill on race day is high. Awesome!

My plan all along had been to train hard for the Ironman, squeeze in one more long run before the marathon, and then I would be good to go to meet my 4:30 goal.

WRONG.

My body totally rejected this plan. Before the Ironman, I could have questionably run a 4 hour marathon…and therefore my 4:30 goal was a no-brainer. I had that one in the bag. AFTER the Ironman however is an entirely different story. My body is tired and I was afraid to push it too hard (which was probably the right call) and I am just not ready for race day.

Eh.

And to top it all off, I’ve gotten SO SLOW. Like snail slow. Like the story of the tortoise and hare doesn’t even apply to me because I am the flea that can’t even hold onto the dumb turtles shell. Seriously. I’m THAT slow.

My legs feel pretty good lately…but they feel pretty good SLOW. They aren’t having any part of speed work. Or speed in general. They’ll go out and run…if you want to call it that…but they aren’t winning any awards (not that they won awards before, but SUCK IT).

So my dreams of breaking 4 hours and 30 minutes are long gone. I’ll be lucky to finish in one piece. I’ll be pleased if I PR but really, I’m not counting my chickens, hatched or otherwise, because this race is gonna be UGLY.

In other news, keg party at our house after.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Thomas, the most amazing person in the world, took a TON of video of Tommy and I on race day. I'm not sure I realized then how special it is to have so much footage of ourselves on race day...these videos are so cool and really show what the race was like and how we felt about it.

Below are links to all our videos. We look pretty terrible in all of them...because hey man, we just sweat out 2 pounds of salt. It happens. So ignore the grossness and embrace the awesomeness that the videos are! Pure camera GENIUS!

Me

Swim Finish
T1 (totally can't get on that thing!)
Bike Finish (totally can't get off that thing)...oh and this is a good video of how T2 was set up for those interested in the race...
T2 (my ass is giant)
Run: End of Lap 1
Run: End of Lap 2 (my ass is still giant)
Run: Start of Lap 3 (why all the close ups of my ass?) This video shows my displeasure at having to run a third lap...
Christy's Race Recap (My ass is so big and my chin is so small...all these years I've been praying for bigger h00ters, when really, I should have been praying for a chin)

Tommy

Swim Finish
Bike End
T2 There is just no way your balls could itch THAT badly.
Run: End of Lap 1
Run: Start of Lap 2
Run: End of Lap 2 This is when Tommy tells Francis he is gonna wait for me..."But don't tell her!"
Run: Start of Lap 3
Tommy is Done

And of course....Y YA SON IRONMAN!!!!

The Goals Strike Back - For Real This Time

I am FINALLY posting the last entry of my race recap. Hooray me.

First let me talk about (once again) how nice it is to have my life back. I had time the other day to rearrange the books on my desk and look up new decorating ideas on the computer. WHOA. I'm out of control.

Okay, onto the goals...

Overall race specs:
Swim: 1:10:52 1:51/100m 27th or 53 in age group/909 overall
T1: 6:38
Bike: 6:19:47 17.69mph 15th of 53 in age group/569 overall
T2: 4:46
Run: 5:13:35 11:58min/mile 17th of 53 in age group/631 overall

TOTAL TIME: 12:55:38!! Christy Blain, You ARE an IRONMAN!!!

(The best part of my time is that if you search Female, then Pros and All Age Groups, I fit on the first page. Yep, I’m 100th. And I fit on the first page. I’m hoping to make this a regular thang.)

In regards to my race goals, I did not die, which was race goal number one, so hooray! And I finished under 17 hours, still standing and smiling, so I guess we could call the race a success!! I didn’t really meet any of my sport specific goals though, so, there this still lots of room for improvement.

I didn’t really have goals on the swim – I knew I was capable of 1:15, but didn’t really care either way because I hadn’t put the time into to get all emotionally involved. I smoked that non-existant goal though! The swim was fast for everyone, some claim it was possibly a little short, others say the strong current helped us a long. Who cares! It was a great swim and I am pleased as punch with my time. I maintain that I swamn fast because the water was clear and for the first time I actually swam straight towards the bouys instead of taking some roundabout route. And I'm just supa dupa fast. Ha.

My transitions were MUCH faster than I thought they would be, so I saved a lot of time there. No dilly-dally for this girl!

I am pretty disappointed with my bike. I was definitely capable of a 6 hour bike, even in those conditions (because that’s what I trained for!), but without the bike bike computer I had no idea where I was or how I was doing. Being unable to digest food, having to stop to pee/puke, and riding un-aero were also big contributors to my crappy time. This is definitely where I will be focusing once I feel the need to bike again (never!).

My run goals were ridiculous and totally unattainable, and lo and behold, I didn’t attain them. Ha. Big surprise there! My run was amazing though and I have no complaints. I still rocked that thing and held a steady pace which is all you can really hope for.

All in all, I beat my “If all goes perfectly and I do everything right goal” of 13 hours, and despite not making any of the individual goals, I am super happy. It was a great success and I am proud of the work that I put into it, both in training and on race day. I finished hand in hand with the man that I love, surrounded by the most amazing friends and family we could ever hope for, on a beautiful island with delicious margaritas. I have nothing in the world to complain about.

And then I got my tattoo. Small, dainty, tasteful (as tasteful as a tattoo can be), on my right wrist…hidden for work, but ready for the rest of the world to see! I’m still waiting for that first person to say, “Hey, is that a tattoo? Did you REALLY do an Ironman?” Hahaha. Because I’m just that much of a loser.

Where Pick-Up Lines Go To Die.

My friend Tiffany has an annual birthday party (kind of redundant, eh?) where we all dress us as Christmas creatures (Santas, elves, trees, what have you) and we wander the streets of Uptown Dallas in search of the cheapest/strongest drinks we cn find. This journey typically ends at a place with karaoke, because really, who needs cheap drinks when you can have "Like a Virgin" belted out by a guy in a Santa suit? No one. That's who.

Soooo...as usual our evening ended at Uptown Bar and Grill, where they do, in fact, have karaoke. And I was in heaven. There is very little I love more in this world that karaoke.



Tommy and I dressed as presents the previous year because we are cheap - Santa suits are expensive and for about $3 we could cut arm and head holes out of a box and just wear that. Little did we know that presents are sex magnets. Seriously.

And yes, we were both fully clothed under said boxes.

I think there is something about the innuendos that are associated with saying things like, "Oh, nice box", and "I just touched your box", and "Can I see the inside of your box"...just to name a few. People are so creative. NOT. Anyways, when you are walking through a crowded bar and running into people with your box all night, you tend to hear all the innuendos you could possibly imagine.

Sooo, this year, because we are still cheap and because wearing the box means never having to find a table to put your drink on, we went as presents again.

And still, the peoples of Dallas loved it. Box joke after box joke after box joke. I'm telling you, if you are single, wrap a uhaul box, put a bow on your head and head out to paint the town red. If I didn't already have my own present to take home and unwrap, I can gaurantee I would have had success. Badum bum cha!

But, the highlight of my evening, and quite possibly my whole life (nevermind this Ironman crap), was when a guy came up to me and said, "Hey, I really like your box", with a twinkle in his eye. I, of course, having heard this line before was unfazed and turned to walk away.

He had other plans though. He grabbed my arm and said, "What's your favorite dinosaur?"

At this point, I'm thinking to myself that I MUST know where this is going. Where can the dino question lead? Surely not to his bedroom filled with lifesize dino replicas? Because that's just creepy. So, I say the first dinosaur that pops into my head..."Triceratops", I say.

He says, "Oh, so you like to fly and soar above the trees?"

And I respond with, "No, you freaking idiot. That's a pterodactyl. If you're gonna lead with the dino question, at least know your dinosaurs."

Seriously?

So, I am very grateful that I don't have date Ross Gellar's idiot brother and instead, I get to be married to this guy who is entirely okay with wearing a bow in his hair all night.



Seriously, if you're single, don a box and a bow. It's a sure thing. I'm serious.

Casualties of War.

There have been two major casualties of Ironman training...

Tommy went on a date last night - we had planned on going to the play then hitting up REd Cat Jazz Cafe because we had a gift card, but then we read reviews and found out that the place basically sucked a giant pie hole, sooooo, we used a Groupon to Zushi instead. Zushi is pretty good - the happy hour specials are good and the appletini is delicious! I will complain that they put wasabi on my nigiri, which I am not personally a fan of. But I know for next time.

Anyway. The play was good - the music quality was kind of poor, but as usual, you can't really go wrong with me and The Sound of Music. I loved it! The love scene between Maria and Captain von Trapp gets me everytime. Siiiiigh.

Afterwards, I had big aspirations of staying up past midnight...but I failed miserably. I was passed out cold by 11:58PM. Someday I will achieve this dream. Someday. I just KNOW it.

But staying up late is not the biggest casualty of Ironman training...I've never been a late night person. Ever. Even in college, I used to hit up happy hour with my BFF and then we would head home when they party animals came out. I've just never been able to hang. Ever.

Despite my total coolness and 8pm bedtime, the biggest casualty of Ironman training is Rockband. We played last night and we are both quite terrible. I was able to suffer through most of the songs that I used to be able to play but it was ugly and according to my spreadsheets (because yes, I am this anal retentive in all aspects of my life), my skillz have dramatically diminished. I'm pitiful. The sandman would roll over in his grave if he know how I butchered his song. It's a real tragedy.

So, in true Type A personality ways, we are keeping the RockBand out (instead of putting it away each time we play) so we will be forced to work on our skillz. We are better than "Most Energy". We are MEATLOAD!!

I'll be updating the spreadsheet. Don't you worry.

So, in the off season, I'll be working on my drumming skills. Prepare for total domination. Domination. DOmination. [Jazzhands]

Ironman STILL on the Brain.

I've always compared training for the Ironman to pregnancy, the race to the birth and the depression you have afterwards to post-partum. Now, I've still never had a baby, so I can't say with certainty how these two compare (feel free to share if you've done both!), but I imagine the highs, lows, exhaustion, excitement and fear are similar.

The big difference between the two is that when you have a baby (and deal with post-partum or not) is that you get to continue to make goals. You now have this bigger (more exhausting) thing to do and take care of. You life now has MORE purpose, not less. However, after the Ironman, you go through this depression, this waffling, this "what in the world am I supposed to do today?" thing. My goal is over...now what?

My life has been rigidly scheduled for a year. Every minute of everyday. I rarely went out during the week because I needed to eat healthy, get chores done, save money, and be in bed by 8pm...it's tough to do all that in one night! Tommy and I would go on dates but we were always home by 9...our dinner reservations were at 6pm when all the blue hairs eat. IronTrish describes my feeling post-Ironman perfectly...

Nonetheless, the change is welcome and I'm enjoying it...but I do feel like I lack a purpose. Knowing that that Houston Marathon is in January and then Florida 70.3 in May are helping keep me semi-focused, but I know that a month of losing focus is actually a good thing. It's just hard for us goal oriented people. I miss my schedule!!

So, we've been getting chores done, sleeping in (only a little!), relaxing a bit and enjoying each other! We have a date this weekend - we got tickets to The Sound of Music and then plan on using a gift card to the Red Cat Jazz Cafe for some late night jazz. Staying up till midnight has never been my forte, but practice makes perfect, right? Maybe THAT can be my new training goal!

The Goals Strike Back

You can read my race recap here:

Pre-Race
The Swim
The Bike
The Run
The Aftermath
Goals

And Tommy's race recap

And then we came home to snow. We are perfectly tanned and it's snowing. Ugh. We are SO not winter people.


Me getting my tattoo at Shaw (for those curious, it was nice and clean and I am very pleased with my results. Not that I know any different.)

IronWars!

I didn't realize until it was over how bad off Tommy was. He was green. I am ENRAGED that they wouldn’t let him into the medical tent. There are so many sick fakers out there that actual sick people can’t get the help they need. It’s ridiculous. So, all you people who faked sick, I’m probably gonna punch you if we meet. Nonetheless, the paramedics deemed me coherent enough to watch over Tommy, who could barely stand and was nauseous and dizzy. I’m still furious (this is my only real complaint about the race).

Seeing our friends was amazing and I was surprised that almost all of them actually wanted to hug me. Ha. I wouldn’t have hugged me. But they were all so awesome – special thanks to Amanda for taking care of us. I was on a high that nothing to could squelch!

We gathered all our stuff and grabbed a cab back to the hotel. Once we got back to the hotel, I hit my wall, came down off my high and started to also feel green. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have been in our hotel room alone. I passed out on the toilet and Tommy in the shower. One of us would wake up periodically and ask if the other was alive...luckily, the answer was always yes. Eventually, we made it to bed where we both slept poorly and woke up at 3am because that's what time triathletes wake up. So sad. 5 days later, our bellies still aren't quite back to normal, but there is significant improvement.

I can't believe it's over. I can't believe we did so well! It was such an amazing experience – the training and the racing – and every single bit of it was worth it.

I don’t have any more Ironmans on my race calendar for the future, but who knows. I checked the box and for now, that’s good enough. We ARE however, planning our race schedule around possibly going to IMFL next year to volunteer and then register for the race in 2011. We will see how it all plays out. Who knows what the future will hold and what we will feel like doing. Our goals for 2010 are to focus on speed – we are always looking to the next big thing that we have never had the chance to work on getting faster at anything. So, we are signed up for Florida 70.3 in May with a bunch of friends and we are planning on doing Redman half in September…we will mix things up with some sprint and Olympic distance triathlons and some 5k and 10k races.

But above everything, this trip and this race has really showed me how lucky I am. I am probably the luckiest girl in the world. I have the most amazing family and the most amazing friends and the most amazing husband and I couldn't have done any of this without any of them. All week long I kept saying how thankful I am that I have such wonderful people around me – and it's the truth. I couldn't ask for more. I hope each and everyone one of you know how special you are to me!

A special thanks to my mom and dad, Cathy, Amanda, Jon, Janelle, Thomas, Brett, Francis, Matt, Ly and Chris – all of whom joined us in Cozumel for a wonderful vacation and who spent all day on their feet cheering for us. We appreciate you all more than you could possibly ever know. Much love.

A special special thanks to Francis for taking about 2 million pictures and to Thomas for making a video. I know we will cherish these memories forever and you captured them on film – thank you!

And thank you to everyone who has supported us throughout our season but was unable to be there – you presence and support was felt and appreciated.

Like Tommy, I will add a quick list of thoughts about Ironman training, racing, traveling, etc:

• Just like for marathon training, there are a lot of training plans to choose from. Find the one that you like and that you can maintain and have faith in it. You will benefit most from your workouts if you enjoy them and when they fit your life. Some people will do more, some will do less…do what works for you.
• I felt like I needed to ride 115 miles before race day but most people only ride 100. Do what you feel comfortable with. Either way, I’d be sure to get SEVERAL (like 5 or 6) 100 milers on your schedule…one of them with inevitably be rained out or crashed out and you want to make sure you have enough other scheduled.
• Make sure you can swim 2.4 miles comfortably…and then after that, focus on something else. Your overall time at the race will not be helped by saving 2 minutes in the water when you could save 30 on the bike. I swam less than once a week.
• Make your schedule work for you. If you like to do organized rides, make your schedule fit that. If you like to run with a group during the week, do that. Just make sure to take easy rest days in there. There were a lot of days I would meet my friends at the track – they would do speed work and I would just jog around.
• You can have fun and train…but it requires a lot of planning.
• You don’t need two-a-days. It probably helps, but we found that the quality time spent with each other and our friends was better for us. I DID, however, go to the gym for core workouts several times a week (but I am lucky to have gym at work where I can do this at lunch).
• Pack bugspray in run special needs. You never know.
• Special needs is for just that – special needs. You can’t rely on it, but pack whatever you think you might want…it’s nice to know it’s there.
• Redbull and Winterfresh gun are my heroes. I had a couple of pieces of gum in my bento box and special needs. It helped my mouth feel clean after eating crap all day. And frankly, Redbull gave me wings.
• Have a spotter in your hotel room after the race. It was definitely not safe for Tommy and I to be alone.
• I will never* travel with my bike ever again.
• The phrase “If you can’t handle the heat stay out of the kitchen” applies to Cozumel. If you can’t train in the heat and humidity and/or don’t like the heat and humidity, don’t come here. You’ll be miserable. I, on the other hand, LOVE heat and humidity, trained in heat and humidity and I rocked this course. Same goes for the wind.
• We are lucky to be able to do this sport, so enjoy it. Take the time to smell the roses, enjoy your friends out there and be safe so we can enjoy many, many, many more years of triathlon.
• If I never bike again, it will be too soon.
• Everyone says the marathon on an Ironman sucks and that crashing is inevitable. It’s not. Crashing is likely but it CAN be avoided and you CAN have a good marathon. Playing it smart is key #1 and a little luck is key #2.
• If you race in Mexico, bring your own water bottles because the Gatorade sport top bottles are too small for your cages…and the bottles they sell at the expo are like $27.

Episode III: The Run of the Sith

What? My titles don't even make sense anymore.

Into the changing tent I go! I lubed up, changed my sports bra and put on a Team Blain singlet, and ran out to start the best marathon of my life. I saw my friends and family once more before beginning the first of 3 loops.
Downtown Cozumel was crazy with spectators - “Vamos, Chreesty! Vamos!” - but once you get out of town (about 1 mile), you are on your own. It's a 4.4ish mile out and back, so that's about 6 miles with very little spectator support. It’s 3 8.8 mile-ish loops, out and back, on a concrete road. The aid stations were great with helpful volunteers, but they didn't have pretzels or coke at the first few stops and I started to freak out – especially because my bike nutrition had left me feeling quite pathetic and drained – but it ended up being okay.

My first three miles hurt like hell – which is weird for me. I almost always feel great for the first 3 miles and THEN feel like crap, so I was getting even more worried about my nutrition or lack thereof. But I just pushed through the darkness and kept going. I got a drink at every water stop (they were about 1k apart – approx every 0.75 miles) but took a minute walk break at every other stop. I saw Tommy for the first time around mile 2 and I have never enjoyed a sweaty hug as much as I enjoyed that one. Shortly after I saw him though, I twisted my ankle and fell – scraped my leg and rolled in the vomit filled concrete for a little while. Awesome. I cried and shoved about 37 (okay, 2) Advil down my throat and put one broken ankle in front of the other...I REALLY need to start doing ankle strengthening exercises again.

I just made myself keep with the plan and by mile 3, I had started to hit my stride and I was feeling good. I hit the turn around and started keeping my eyes peeled for friends on the course – Tommy, Bobbi, and Dave specifically. I saw Dave a couple of miles later and he was looking good – he ended up qualifying for Kona, so yeah, he looked good! And I saw Tommy again, in about the same place on the course, which meant that we were running about the same speed. He said he wasn't feeling too hot, but I didn't know what that meant – I just thought he meant that “hey, you know, I just biked 112 miles and now I'm halfway into a marathon”. Either way, it was so good to see him.

I rounded out lap #1 and headed back to town! The streets were lined and the crowd was enthusiastic - “Vamos Chreesty, Vamos!” The spectators were amazing – the locals really supported their race and came out in full force. They really liked it when a girl would pass because there weren’t that many of us and they would give me special hollers. It was awesome and so energizing to run through town. There was a marching band and the streets were lined 6 deep! I passed Team Blain, gave them all high fives and a big smile and kept on trucking. I was still feeling great...I was slow, but I felt great! I kept wondering if I should speed it up a little but then I decided I didn't know what would happen later and it wasn't worth the risk. The aid stations had finally gotten some Saltines, which I deemed to be about the same as pretzels, and Coke, so I was starting to feel revived. I passed Tommy again at about the same place and his smile kept me going for another 4 miles. The mosquitoes were coming out and they were evil. They were in my scalp, 20 were on my legs, on my face, it was terrible. Don’t tell anyone, but I gladly accepted outside assistance in the form of bug spray and let a wonderful spectator spray me down. The bug spray helped a little, but luckily the mosquitoes only lasted for about 30 minutes at sunset. Once the sun went down, the little terrorists went away.

I grabbed my special needs bag at mile 13ish – got a glow stick and a Redbull - and kept on running. I passed Tommy again on my way back to town, but it was a little further down than before, which meant I was gaining on him and I knew things weren't going well for him. I told him where Special Needs was (since it wasn't well identified) and told him that the Redbull is the magic drink!!

My second trip to town was much like the first except that my parents had moved down the street a little which spread out the love! It was so nice to have such a great support team there – it made the 3 trips back to town much more appealing!I told my mom that I couldn't believe I had to do another lap because while I felt pretty darn amazing considering, I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to be done. And at this point, more and more people were starting to finish (which means they finished and I turned around and headed back for more – ugh). I really couldn't believe I actually had to turn around and run another 8.8ish miles. Shoot me. I started talking with a guy who asked if I was on my second lap. I told him, no, I was just starting my third. He said that it was his second and I was like, “dude, the third one sucks so much.” He was not pleased to have this information. Haha. I am a big fan of a looped course because it gives spectators a better show and therefore makes it more fun for me, but man, starting that last lap was absolutely brutal.

I kept up my plan – walking at every other stop – and sped up the pace ever so slightly. I didn't see Tommy until about 3 miles in (instead of 2) and he said he was walking the rest. I knew he wasn’t feeling well if he was walking and I prayed that he would be okay. I hoped I could catch up with him so we could finish together, but I wasn't sure how that would work out. At the turn around, with 4ish miles left, I realized I had an hour to do 4-4.5 miles if I wanted to break 13 hours. Um, YEAH!! And since I was still feeling fantastic, I knew this was a sure thing. I think that was the very first time I actually knew I was going to finish and that I was going to be an Ironman.

Because 12:45 is basically the same at 12:59 in my mind, I took my time and started walking at every water stop...I figured I might as well enjoy it and eat as many snacks as I can! I paid for 17 hours of food – I should eat as much as possible! I still wanted to catch Tommy, so at every stop I would chug a water, wave my glowstick and yell his name in hopes that he would hear me. No luck.


I hit town for my final stretch and I tried to take it all in, but frankly, I couldn't tell you what it looked like. I was so overcome (and exhausted). And then, as I was approaching the final turn, I saw Team Blain and then I saw Tommy waiting for me so we could cross the finish line together. I was once again overcome. I was so happy to see him and so glad that we would be able to finish this journey together. I grabbed his hand and then, with the biggest smile of my life, we “sprinted” across the finish line of our first Ironman in 12:55:56.

I don’t remember much about finishing. I remember being SO happy to see Tommy. I remember waving my glowstick in the air and trying to keep my arm fat from flailing about because that’s not good for pictures. I remember hugging Tommy after we finished and being totally grossed out but loving it anyway. But I don’t remember actually running down the chute. I don’t remember the lights or the cameras or the people. I don’t remember them saying, “Christy, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN” (although, it turns out that they didn’t). I don’t remember crossing that finish line. I am very glad there is video. Thanks Thomas!



I ran that marathon in 5:13:35, average pace of 11:56 min/mile. It wasn't my fastest marathon as I had ridiculously hoped :), but it was my best and easiest. I enjoyed every single part of the marathon. My legs hurt at the beginning and at the end, but overall, I felt like a million bucks. I never hit a wall, I never got delirious, I never felt sick. It was crazy. I usually feel a little sick on a 10k! Hhaha. For the first time in my triathlon life, my run didn’t hurt my race (that much). I was in 27th place after the swim, 15th place after the bike and 17th place after the run. I normally end up at the back of the pack after the run, but only 2 girls passed me this time!! It was EASILY the best long run I have EVER had.

I thought the weather conditions on the run were pretty good, but once again, Slowtwitch disagreed. Everyone else thought it was humid and awful. I thought it was exactly what I had trained for (haha – yayy Houston!) and thought it was actually pretty cool and quite a nice evening for a run. I was never hot enough to pour water over my head, but apparently, I am in the minority here!

Episode II: Attack of the Wind

Unfortunately, my bike was in the furthest possible spot from the entrance and exit...like, no one had to run this extra little bit except for us who had bikes there. Yeah, so just add a minute to my time (not that it matters, but STILL). Anyways, I grab Rocky – notice that Bobbi (a friend we made at the tri in Gruene who just happened to have the number next to mine!) is still swimming and silently wish her luck – and head out of T1. I don't see any of Team Blain, but judging from the embarrassing video they have of me attempting to get on my bike, they were there!

I ride out of T1 and quickly notice that my bike computer isn't working. Ugh. It's registering heart rate and cadence, but not speed or mileage. At that point, I knew my 6 hour goal on the bike was out the window. I stopped for a minute to try to fix it but didn't have any luck. Oh well! It must have gotten messed up when we shoved the bikes in the luggage compartment the day before. Eh, worse things could happen. I went on my way and made a plan to just keep my heart rate at 150ish and cadence above 80 and see where that put me. I rode on feel...and apparently I felt pretty slow because my average speed was something like 17.7 mph.

The bike course was challenging but not terribly so…or at least that’s what I thought. Judging from race reports on Slowtwitch, most people thought the bike course was super challenging due to the wind and the lack of hills (which means there were no descents, which means you have to pedal for all 112 miles), which I just think is absolutely ridiculous. For me though, these were perfect conditions. I live in Houston where it’s windy and totally flat. Almost 100% of my training rides were done on totally flat ground on windy days…we even ventured closer to the coast for some stronger winds on several rides – Bike Around the Bay for example was brutal and a great training experience. If my bike computer had worked and I had KNOWN that I was going 12mph in those windy sections, I might have thought the bike was harder than it was, but in truth, the not knowing probably helped me. I just kept trucking along! For a day on an island, the winds weren't bad at all. It was still windy, but we had prepared for much worse. I had to have been doing pretty well because I rarely got passed and I cursed at those who tried to draft off me.

My first loop has minimal winds – the headwind was there but not terrible, the crosswinds were eh, and the tailwind was magical. This all changed in loops 2 and 3 however! The wind got stronger and changed direction so that we didn't really get a tailwind at all and had a headwind for about 20 miles instead of 12...so that was a bummer. The other side of the island (the rough side) is gorgeous, but incredibly difficult to bike. It was hard to stay in control of my bike, but luckily, it never got too congested. There was a lot of drafting happening as well. Most was accidental, but there was quite a bit of intentional drafting too. One guy kept about 6inches off my back wheel for about 5 miles before I gave him a piece of my mind...he backed off. :)

After the first loop on the bike (40 miles) I was feeling great, but then at about mile 50, my nutrition started going horribly awry. I stopped being able to digest anything and being in my aero bars made things worse...so I ended up doing a lot of sitting upright, which is GREAT with a headwind, and getting off my bike to stand (to pee but also to let my lunch move on down). Things weren't looking so hot. After mile 50, I ate almost nothing and I was really starting to worry about the run. I had a lot of dark moments on the bike in fear of the run to come. How in the world am I supposed to run a marathon in a couple of hours??!? Holy crap. It was so weird too because I never have nutrition problems on the bike unless I do something crazy like eat 4 hamburgers and down a pitcher of beer, so I just wasn't quite sure what to do about it. Regardless, I told myself to keep drinking Gatorade and that I would make myself eat something (anything!) at mile 90 and I would have to wing it from there. Blah. At about mile 70, I stopped on the side of the road and put my finger down my throat but didn't have any luck (and then I realized that this is the same finger that touched my shorts that I had been peeing in all morning – how THIS didn't make me vomit, I will never know). Things weren't going well.

My 6 hour goal time was out the window at this point and I was pitiful. I lost a lot of time not being aero in the wind, but my belly just wasn’t having it. For the first time ever on a tri, the bike was my worst sport. I was disappointed with my time (6:19, average speed 17.76 mph), but knew that I had bigger fish to fry with a marathon in the heat of the day!! I hadn't seen Team Blain at all on the bike course (turns out that because the roads are closed, cabs couldn't get from the swim to downtown even though they told us it would be possible) but I saw them as I dismounted at the bike finish...and there is another terrible video of me getting off my bike of course. For some reason, I can't get on or off that thing!!

The roads were in decent condition (better than Buffalo Springs) for the most part – there was an incredibly smooth section on the road to downtown and a really really really bad little section in town (but it was only about 200 feet). Other than that, the roads were just eh.