Thursday, March 31, 2011

Fluency at Life.

So they (they being the powers that decide who is cool and who is not) say you become fluent in a language when you start to think or dream in that language.  My friend, Kanon, moved to France and she said she knew she was fluent when she began talking for her cat (you know how crazy pet owners have voices for their pets?) in French.  When we went to visit, her cat would talk to me in French, with a French accent.   It was the craziest thing.  This was the same weekend that Tommy got drunk and put on all of his prove some point that I am sure was totally irrelevant to wearing 2 weeks worth of underwear...but alas...the wine had been flowing, so I may have just THOUGHT the cat was talking to me in French...

Point of this story is to say that I have deemed myself officially fluent in the language of the deaf.  In my dreams last night, I kept saying, "what?" and "huh?" to the people I was talking to.  I mean, really?  In MY dreams, I don't know what the characters are supposed to be saying?  It just seems wrong that I should need them to repeat themselves.  I feel like my subconscious should be more efficient than that.  I only get a couple hours of sleep a night.  Do we really need to waste time having people repeat themselves?  Me and Mr. Subconcious will be having a chat ASAP.  Dreams should never be THAT similar to real life. 

[Sidenote:  I just tried to finish off a box of Lucky Charms only to realize there is WAY more in the box than I need/want.  Now I HAVE to eat it because milk touched it. DRAMA at the hizzouse!]

[Seriousnote:  Do you think people who are born deaf dream in spoken language or sign language (or possibly the written word)? ]

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Let's Get the Party Started.

It was an interesting week to say the least.  And one that I am not sad to say is over.  My only regret is that Anna is still not here...

Nonetheless, I had a giant pity party post that I was planning posting, but then my friend Allison wrote this incredibly sweet post on her blog and I am all of the sudden reminded of how lucky I am.  Not that I had forgotten, sometimes you just need it put in perspective.  And in the big scheme of things, my pity party is just pitiful.  (This will not deter me from actually HAVING a pity just means that I won't be writing about it at this exact moment...because, dude, 38 weeks pregnant is hard.)  Let's all wish Allison good luck at her first 70.3 attempt in New Orleans in a few weeks - I will cheering you on from afar my dear!  You will be AMAZING!

So, to sum up my pity party (not to whine, but to inform...the post I HAD written was VERY whiny, this is only moderately whiny):
I have been in a lot of pain since about Week 36.  I spent Thursday and Friday of last week in the hospital.  I was having a lot of trouble breathing (at rest) and was feeling really lightheaded.  They ran a bunch of tests, but were unable to find the source of the infection (I had high white blood cell count).  By Friday, the count had come down (still high, but lower than before) and they released me on bedrest.  The good news is that bedrest alleviates most of my pain (yayy!).  The bad news is that I don't tolerate bedrest well.  I'm kind of a lazy sort, but I like to earn my laziness...I don't allow myself to just sit around.  I have to run 10 miles to earn a few hours of trash tv.  That's just how I roll.  Sooo, this uninterrupted laziness is getting very, very, very old.  Very. very, very quickly.  And not having a schedule makes it hard to remember to brush your teeth.  And that's just gross.
Me, hanging out with my oxygen mask.

At work, they started a pool to guess when Anna will arrive...$5 per entry, closest to the date/time wins...winner takes all.  I selected April 1 and April 21...I really think she will come on Friday (only because Tommy will be about 5 hours away...) or April 21 because she hates me and wants me to suffer for as long as possible.  :)  Acting like a terd already.  She gets it from Tommy.

But enough with the pity partying.  I'm on bedrest, which is enough to make even the most inactive people go insane.  But I am working from home, so at least I am occupied during the day...and then I make Tommy perform a song and dance when he gets home.

My mom is the cutest thing ever.  She teaches 1st grade, and on Friday, they were working on letter she wrote me a letter.  Love that woman.

All the important parts of the letter are circled.
All my whining about my lack of king cake worked!  :)  My father-in-law heard my plea and sent one over and OMG, most delicious thing ever.  If you have never experienced a real New Orleans king cake (preferrably from Randazzo's), you haven't lived (and no, that crap they sell at Kroger is NOT the real deal).  It was even 5 days old due to some issues with the UPS and STILL the most delicious thing ever.  And the best thing about king cake is that you can eat it for breakfast.  Thank ya Bill! 

At some point last week, I became a full fledged pregnant woman with hormones and cravings and all those wonderful things you read about.  Until then, I had just been in pain.  Now, I get upset about it too.  And I may or may not have cried when the washing machine took too long.  Yeah.  Hormones.  Awesome.  And I had my first craving...Sprite.  MUST. HAVE. SPRITE.  NOOOOOOOOOW.  I don't like Sprite.  But man, I gotta have me a Sprite and I gotta have me a Sprite at this moment.  So, now, thanks to my wonderful husband, we have a refrigerator that is fully stocked with delicious and nutritious Sprite.

My dog licked my last two Tagalongs (or Peanut Butter Patties or WHATEVER).  But dude, I'm still eatin' 'em.  Those are the last two.  I can't miss out on the peanut buttery goodness until next year.  Stupid dog.  Hope she brushed her teeth after she ate poop the other day.

All in all, I am one lucky gal...thanks for the reminder Allison. :) And man, that Ironman finisher video gets me everytime.  If having Anna is even half as good as finishing that race was, she will be worth all the pain I am dealing with right now.  Can't wait to meet our stubborn little girl...the fat lady is singing, so let's get this over with!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Super Moon Schmuper Schmoon

I am officially harboring a full term baby in belly as of today. Anna has reached her 37th Week birthday and I am ready to get this show on the road. Anna apparently has very different ideas. She's wild and woolly already. Definitely doesn't get that trait from me.

Anyway, I haven't written lately because, well, I'm not feeling funny. I'm not Debbie Downer anymore, I'm just not thinking everything is funny like normal. I mean, I didn't even laugh out loud at Wipeout the other night. And I ALWAYS laugh out loud at Wipeout. I'm mostly just feeling fat and I'm in quite a bit of watching people whack themselves in the head with the Bouncy Balls just isn't as amusing as it normally is.

On Saturday night the Super Full Moon came 'round and I was fully hoping that the tidal forces would pull this baby out of me, but no cigar. I'm not normally a superstitious person, but I AM a person who is very tired of being pregnant, who was one day short of a full term baby and who was hoping with all her heart that Saturday would be the day.  I even went outside and wagged my belly at the moon.  For good luck you know.

No cigar.  I did have a few contractions during the night that I totally tried to imagine into something more, but nonetheless, I just got a really restless nights sleep.

Dam you Moon and your super fullness.

I was able to start walking again last week and I think it had a HUGE impact on my morale.  I love being outside and the past month being stuck inside was really doing a number on my sanity.  I spent a few hours at the park almost everynight, walking, people watching, attempting to run (hahahaha), and just generally enjoying March in Texas.  Gotta love it. 

I completed my Labor and Delivery playlist - my iPad is uploaded and ready to rock.  Hospital bag is packed, Anna's clothes are washed and loaded and my countdown has begun.  One month from today is the day my doc says she will induce me if I haven't already gone into labor...soooo, one month from today I WILL have a baby. (OMG, I have to suffer for another month, heads will roll).

At our final ultrasound last week, it was confirmed that Anna is still a girl (and I saw it with my own eyes, and therefore believe it now), she has a full head of hair, small head and giant thighs (Gonna be a cheerleader?  Oh snap!) and is weighing in at about average.  They predict that she will be about 7.5lbs-8.5lbs at birth.  We will see! 

My maternity portrait arrived on Saturday and it looks great!  I am so happy with how it turned out and how you can't tell if I am unphotogenic or not. 
Sidenote:  You can buy used diapers on Amazon.  This sounds less than ideal.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

She's Baaaaack!

Okay, Debbie Downer is gone. She has been replaced with her more rested sister I Finally Feel Like a Human Again Christy. Thank the lord. Now, to reach this rested state, I had to drug myself, go to bed at 8PM and lay in bed until 7AM, but I feel human. Maybe, just MAYBE, I will eat lunch with my co-workers instead of napping in the backseat of my car. [gasp!]

I have given up cursing for Lent. I give up cursing every year for Lent, but since I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE cursing, it's never stuck. I'm moderately hoping it sticks this time since we have a little monster on the way, but I can't teach her what NOT to say unless she learns the words, eh? Let's be honest, there is no better way to express your frustration than the F word. Oh, how I love it and it's many different meanings.

I definitely weigh more than Tommy. This makes me want to curse.

My biggest pet peeve in the world is when people sing or hum in public places. I.e. in gym locker rooms, elevators, grocery stores, etc...DUDE, I don't care if you are Celine F-word Dion, shut the hell up. Sidenote: Hell is not a bad word. My child will not be allowed to say it, but that's the beauty of me being the parent and her being the child. I get full authority on language restriction.

I did not get a single slice of king cake this year. I still can't believe it.

I am counting the down the days (2) until I get to run/walk in the great outdoors. Tommy and I have plans, weather pending, to spend most of my birthday afternoon walking the park. I CANNOT wait. I think it will do wonders for my morale. (I'm tearing up just thinking about it...) And then we will come home and eat the delicious Kroger Cupcake Cake he is supposed to buy me. I don't care what you say, Kroger has the best cupcakes EVER. Had I known of their deliciousness earlier in my life, I would have had a grocery store made wedding cake. Seriously. Crave and Sprinkles and whatever don't have nothin' on Kroger.

And without further ado and because my life is boring, the ABC's of me:

(A) Age: 29...until Sunday when I hit the Dirty Thirty!

(B) Bed Size: KING. We slept on my full sized bed when we were dating (not that we slept in the same bed while we were dating mom, promise) and I have no idea how we fit. Especially now. I can only assume that all other pregnant women who sleep in smaller beds must have their husbands sleep on the couch.

(C) Chore You Hate: Taking the trash to the street. HATE IT. But I also hate folding laundry (I will go wrinkly before I will fold) and I hate washing dishes (that's what dish washers are for!)

(D) Dogs?: LOVE THEM! If Anna is allergic, we may have to send her to live with someone else. Donny the Newfie (8ish years old) and Dixie the Great Pyrenees Monster (1 year-ish)

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Nothing really. I'm a morning person. Once you get me out of bed, I'm usually good to go. (I also haven't stayed awake until midnight since like 4th grade when I was afraid they would freeze my underwear if I feel asleep first. I quickly realized that frozen underwear will eventually de-thaw and be just fine...and I haven't stayed awake that late ever again.)

(F) Favorite Color: It depends on my mood, but in general, fushia (I think there is a C somewhere in the spelling of fushia), all shades of green and brown.

(G) Gold or Silver? GOLD. Always gold.

(H) Height: 5'6" or 5'7" - ish. But I rarely leave the house in less than 3" heels, so most people think I am a little taller than that. Ha. So sneaky!

(I) Instruments You Play: I can rock it out on the Rock Band Drums, but beyond that, my musical talent is pretty much zilch.

(J) Job Title: Supply Chain Planner (sounds exciting, eh?)

(K) Kids: They are a necessity for the continuation of this specie. Ha. I am 8 months pregnant so I am supposed to say I love kids and babies and yayyy! But in reality, I LOVE my friends kids and my friends babies, but I do not love random babies at the mall and I do not love strange kids who want to make faces at me over my booth at a restaurant. I will love Anna with all my heart and I CANNOT wait for her to get here...but I do not think random babies are cute.

(L) Live: Texas, ya'll. My only complaint is that when ordering something online, when I go to put in my state and press "T" to get to the T states, I have to scroll down one (stupid Tennessee and its superior spelling). I'm probably never leaving.

(M) Mom's Name: Candy. And no, she isn't a stripper. At least I don't think she is.

(N) Nicknames: CBenne, Bennett, Ben, BenBen...and of course, Christy.

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? None...yet. I'm really shooting for one in my very near future though!

(P) Pet Peeve: People who sing in public places. But since I already mentioned that, my second pet peeve is people in the locker room who want to be my naked friends. You can be naked or we can chat...we cannot do both at the same time. AND FOR GODSAKE, THE AUTOMATIC HANDDRYER IS NOT INTENDED TO DRY YOUR BUTTHOLE.

(Q) Quote from a Movie: "You lock it up. No you lock it up. Lock it up. Lock it up." Wedding Crashers. Tommy and I probably say this at least once a day. It relates to everything.

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right, but I got pretty good with my left in high school when I used to fear breaking my right hand and being stuck with only my left (my dad's favorite quote is "paranoid is a good way to be when everyone is out to get ya"...I don't know where I get it). I'm not ambidextrous by any means, but I can get the job done.

(S) Siblings: 1 Sister - Cathy and 1 Sisdog - Belle.

(T) Time You Wake Up? Pre-pregnancy - 4:30AM on the dot, 6 days a week, no ifs, ands or buts. During pregnancy - 4:30AM, with a little snoozy snooze, or sometimes 7AM. Depending on my mood. Today, it was a solid a little snoozing.

(U) Underwear: It believe in its existence.

(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Cooked carrots. [gagging]

(W) What Makes You Run Late: Not much. I'm rarely late. But if I am, it's because I overscheduled myself...ooops.

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: I'm a paranoid athlete, so most everything...teeth, ears, knees, feet, ankles, hips, shoulders...

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Homemade mac and cheese. Let's be honest, I have a lot of skills, but cooking is sooo not one of them.

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Bears! I just want to cuddle them!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Debbie Downer

Hi. My name is Debbie Downer.

1. I married a Katrina Evacuee, it's Mardi Gras, and I can't get a piece of a good King Cake? What the hell? Haven't I done my part for the city of New Orleans? :)

2. My maternity pants are VERY tight. They are so tight in fact that some of the stitching that holds the elastic band on is coming off and I am grateful. I have no intention of sewing them back together. Every inch counts.

3. I am pretty sure that as of today, I weigh more than Tommy.

4. I haven't slept in a really long time. I know this is "preparation for what is to come"...whatever. It still sucks right now and I am not happy about it. I get about 2 hours of straight sleep each night...and then a few 30 minute catnaps the rest of the night. If I'm lucky. If I can get a good workout in, I can make those 2 hours stretch into 3, which is glorious. However, on 2 hours of sleep, a good workout is pretty tough to finagle.

5. It's beautiful outside. Well, not at this moment, but it HAS been beautiful and all I want to do is go play. I want to run or walk or just read a book...but I can't run and I can't walk and my back hurts too bad to sit out there for more than about 30 seconds.

6. I miss my family terribly. We had such a good time this weekend...I wish they would move here!

7. I'm ready to meet Anna...but want her to hibernate for a little while longer. So frustrating!

Friday, March 04, 2011


Inquiring minds are inquiring about little Anna's due date...she will arrive on or before April 21. I am due on April 15...hoping for April 1...and will induce on April 21 if she still hasn't made an appearance.

So it's either Tax Day, April Fools or Aggie Muster...I don't like to half ass things.

Goal delivery time of 12 hours and 55 minutes. Gotta PR the belly button round up.

On my 30th birthday, March 13, I will begin the exciting task of trying to induce labor naturally through pineapples, extreme exercise and a host of other terrifying activities. The good news is that, with the exception of some activity involving Castor Oil, I loooooooove pineapples (although I liked them more when they were $1) and exercising and the other this is not a huge hardship.

Let the games being. I've just gotta keep her cooking for a little while longer...

34 Weeks in the work locker room...wierd face because people kept coming in and catching me and I was embarrased. And pointy belly because, well, that's how Anna rolls.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Due to doctor's orders, I am not allowed to run until for the next two'd be too painful anyway, so I don't really want to, but in 2 weeks, it's on! I'll walk through the pain if it will make me hatch sooner rather than later! But until the running/walking can begin again, I am stuck in the pool or on the bike...and bored out of my freaking mind. It's FAR too gorgeous outside to be inside and stationary. Steve Harvey and Family Feud can only get me so far.

Alas, I've been swimming and biking and today I tried aqua jogging.

The swimming is going okay...I mean, I can swim all day, but where the belly used to make me more bouyant, lately, it's DEFINITELY dragging my butt down. AND I'm having to wear a bikini because there are no swimsuits that will accomodate this monstrosity anymore...and no one wants to see a 34 weeks pregnant lady traipsing around the pool in a bikini. Trust me. And then, I can't push off the wall because it makes my bottoms fall off. Ha. Oh the drama!

I tried aqua jogging today - which is easily the most awkward/boring/strange activity you can possibly do. But it was a nice change. What I really determined is that even in water, I require a sports bra. Ow.

The biking is kind of fun still because I can rock out to music and go to a class and socialize...which is my favorite part of exercise...I love the people! But my hugeness means I am sitting wierd on the bike and I think I pinched a nerve in my back last week. It's feeling better and better everyday, so hopefully I can bike again tomorrow. 2 days at the pool in a row is about 2 days too many for me.

My 30th birthday is in 2 weeks and I plan on spending the day walking and walking and walking...drinking mass quantities of wine sounds like a much more enjoyable birthday activity, but the quicker this little one evacuates, the quicker I can have mass quantities of walking it is. The wine can wait. It gets better with age anyway!

We have our final ultrasound scheduled for March 17th - I CANNOT wait. This will get me confirmation that she does not have a weener and will estimate her size...and about 37 other things that are way more important regarding our overall health. I can't wait to see her one last time before she gets here!