If I am ever at a lack of things to blog about, please, just send me to the Lab Test room at St. Josephs. I got more material there in 20 minutes than I got in my own life in the last 2 years. Seriously. I was almost crying...oh wait, I was crying. But those tears were because the stupid hoe that ATTEMPTED to take my blood missed my giant veins and felt the need to go on a digging adventure...the antics going on in the waiting room was some of the most entertaining stuff I have ever seen.
I can't detail all of it for you lest I seem like I have no heart for homeless people...so, let's just say that hanging out in the Lab Test Room at St. Joseph's is where all the professional singers from Broadway come once they get too old/fat/ugly to make it big anymore. It was like a freaking concert. But not a good one.
The homeless people just sang and sang and sang. Only the good Lord might be able to able to tell us WHAT they were singing, because I'm pretty sure those weren't words...but it also wasn't humming. Just incoherent blathering on. Loudly. And out of tune. And with total disregard to anyone else in the room.
(Let the record show that I find singing in public places, specifically showers at the gym, totally offensive for reasons unknown even to myself. Regardless, this singing was hysterical.)
Finally an un-homeless man (approximately 50 years old) sat down opposite a singing homeless man (approximately 25 years old). This was apparently the opening that Homeless Man was looking for. Homeless Man launched into a Question/Answer segment during which I learned a lot about his life. The conversation went something like this:
Homeless Man: Have you heard of Patrick Swayze?
UnHomeless Man: Yes.
Homeless Man: I went to the school with that guy.
*Editors note: Homeless Man is no more than 25...and since being homeless probably ages you, he is probably more like 17. Patrick Swayze is/was old enough to by my father.
UnHomeless Man: Oh really?
Homeless Man: Yeah, his picture was on the wall. Have you ever seen Dirty Dancing? Or Ghost? He was in those movies.
UnHomeless Man: Yeah, I've seen those movies.
Homeless Man: Ghost was scary. I don't like ghosts.
And then he left. I really wanted to hear more about the ghosts. What we couldn't figure out was whether or not Homeless Man that good ol' Pat had died. No one wanted to break that news to him. Especially since he has this fear of ghosts and all.
Talking to the Television
2 days ago