Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Daily Grind

Today is my last day home with my beast.  I can't believe it.  In honor of this momentous occasion, I give you some pictures of my gorgeous crotch parasite.  Once I start using a computer regularly again, I will start blogging regularly again.  I hope.  I haven't even been reading blogs.  I just watch Channel 13 all day long.  The problem with never changing the channel is that you have to see the same person get interviewed over and over and over again.  The other day, I watched Brooke Shields promote The Addams Family about 18 times.  Or that video of the kid getting eaten by the lion?  Yeah.  A lot of times.  I love my little, adorable, huggable nugget, but man, I miss adults.

But now, some gratuitous photos of my wonderful baby girl...

So bashful.

Scary bear!

Anna and her mean friend Mia.

Bored at a triathlon.  Again.

First (and only) trip to church.


I hate you mom.

Apparently Nana doesn't care that I spit up all over myself.

Nana is fun!

I'm cute.

Dogs love me.

Father's Day brunch.  

Silly mommy.

11 Weeks Old with Lenny the Terrible.


We dress all of our creatures in costumes.  This is just the beginning.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

My Motherly Advice

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends about new baby stuff, pregnancy and labor and delivery...and seeing as how I have sooo much experience, I thought I would offer up my motherly advice. 

1. Find a nice man.  Let him get you pregnant.  If you choose to sleep with a man who is less than amazing, wear your seatbelt. 

2.  Find a doctor who believes what you believe.  Seriously.  If you don't agree with what your doctor tells you (assuming what you are asking about is reasonable), find a new doctor.  This person will have the ability to make life and death decisions regarding the health of you and your baby - you want to be on the same page as them.

3.  Although cost prohibitive, an iPad has been my BFF throughout my staying at home days.  We got one for free, (otherwise I would never have purchased one), but seriously.  I am nothing without my iPad.  What did moms do before iPads?  I have no idea.  The internet is the stay-at-home moms BFF.

4.  Figure out what makes you happy and find a way to do that during pregnancy and after the baby is born (as much as possible).  For me, it's running and triathlon.  We got a really good jogging stroller and I take my beast out almost every day.  For some it's reading or shopping or paintball.  Keep doing that.  It doesn't have to be as much as you did pre-baby, but make the time sometimes.  And if anyone throws 140bpm in my face again, I'm gonna hurt them.  Most people can barely cook dinner without their heart rate getting that high.

5.  Be the kind of parent YOU want to be.  Listen to everyone's advice and filter out what you want...and then make it work for you.  And when the annoying people on the elevator say that their doctor told them not to take their baby out of the house until they are 2 months old, just smile and say, "How'd that work out for you when you had a second kid?" and walk away. 

6.  If you do not think that poop is amusing, I would highly recommend rethinking the whole baby thing. 

My favorite baby products are:
  • BOB Ironman jogging stroller
  • iPad
  • Woombie (the perfect swaddling tool if you have a screamer/flailer and cannot get them swaddled in blankets)
  • Aden + Anais swaddling blankets (but they only work now that she doesn't scream all day)
  • Bouncer
  • Movie channels on TV
I'm pretty sure I could survive with just the items above at this point.  We don't use bottle warmers or wipe warmers...the Anna drinks ice cold milk and gets her tush wiped with cold wipes.  Oh, the horror!  It's like a third world country over here. 

So far, my beast and I are having a blast.  My only terrible experience was driving to Dallas on Sunday, alone with 2 dogs and Anna (although, I was hardly alone).  I'm telling you, it was awful.  It was worse than when I evacuated for Hurricane Rita...and that took 2 days.  I may not be able to return home because the fear of that drive has me trembling in my britches.  Seriously.  It was so bad.  Do not attempt a 5 hour drive on your own with a 7 week old because if you do, it will take about 7 hours and all of the sanity you can possibly muster.

This is dumb.

My Ironman envy has led me to sign up for a triathlon. On Sunday. 7 weeks after hatching a nugget. 3 months since I last rode a bike. 10 months since I actually rode outside. 3 months since I last swam. And about a year since I actually looked decent in spandex. It's not gonna be pretty.

I will be heading to the Tejas Tri on Sunday morning for my first triathlon since Anna arrived. What was I thinking? In addition to the fact that I am WILDLY under prepared, me in spandex is something no one should ever see right now. I'm gonna bring blindfolds to pass out to the spectators, lest they be blinded by the sight of me. [shudder]

I got the wild hair to register on Monday (race is the coming Sunday).  Before I registered I wanted to get on my bike to make sure I was capable of actually biking 12 miles.  But since I have a baby, I wasn't able to get out on the roads, so I just made sure I could bike for 45 minutes on the trainer.  CHECK!  I used to be able to bike 12 miles in about 34 I think I will be lucky to conquer the distance in 45.  If I can average 18mph, I will feel like a rockstar.  I wasn't able to get to the pool this week, so the first time I swim will be right before the race when I warm up.  I don't normally warm up, but I will probably make an exception this time.  It seems like the safe thing to do.  And the running will be questionable...I know I can run 3 miles with walk breaks, but I have no idea what that will look like after swimming and biking.  I've done 0 swim workouts, 0 bricks and 1 bike workout in preparation for this race.  To say that I am underprepared would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, I am super excited.  I love to race (although, I'm not sure you can say that I will do tomorrow will technically be racing).  I can't wait to get back in the swing of things.  Unfortunately, as I type this I am not feeling too hot, so tomorrow is even more questionable than it was a few hours ago.  Hahaha.  Either way, I know I will have fun.  AND because I am officially overweight now, I get to race in the Athena division - hooray!

If I can swim in 15 minutes, bike in 45 and run in about 35, I will be happy.  I have absolutely no idea if this is a reasonable goal.


I wrote the above post on Saturday and raced on Sunday but never got around to posting.  Sooooo, here it is/was.

The race was AWESOME.  I had so much fun.  I was so excited to be in the midst of it all again - the race excitement is always a crazy boost!  It was a small local race, which means a small field, but lots of friends racing and spectating.  Because I haven't lost all (or any) of my baby weight, I qualified to race in the Athena division - 150+ pounders - which I figured would make me more competitive.  Last year I raced in the 25-29ers and got 4th place and I knew I wouldn't be able to duplicate that performance...especially since I aged up to the 30-34ers and that's a much harder age group.

Race morning we loaded up the beast in her Under Armor gear (OMG - so freaking cute) and drove 40 minutes to the suburbs.  I got my bike all set up, peed about 4 times and got into the nasty subdivision pond for a warm up swim.  Holy crap.  I am out of shape.  I swam about 200 yards to warm up and my arms were BURNING.  This didn't bode well, but I knew that regardless, I could survive swimming 600yards...I just may tread water and breast stroke to make it happen.

I was in the 4th wave - with the Athenas and the 40+ women - and the gun went off!  I started out near the back of the pack and kind of stayed there but battling with the people was a real challenge.  Not only am I not used to swimming, I'm not used to having to fight for my right to swim.  It was tough going.  I was very glad I was still able to breathe bi-laterally.  Once I got warm, I actually felt okay...the water was too gross to really enjoy it, but overall, it was nice.  I finished in 12:43...about 30 seconds slower than I swam it last year.  Moral of the story, swim training does me absolutely no good.  I was in amazing shape last year...and saved myself 30 seconds.  I doubt you will catch me doing much swim training this year!

Getting out of the water was tough - you forget how hard going from horizontal to vertical can be - and I was off running!  I got my bike and headed out for 12 miles of flat Texas roads!  The bike was pretty fun...I LOVE biking fast.  I had no idea what an appropriate speed was, so I just pedalled at a moderate pace and was having fun.  The some guy passed me and commented on my fancy bike and I realized I was not doing my full carbon beauty justice with my slow speed so I picked it up.  Haha.  Sometimes it just takes a little motivation. I missed the turnaround and ended up biking about an extra half mile but I think I averaged about 20mph for 12 miles.  I was happy with my time but I had no idea how that would affect my run!

I saw Tommy and Anna coming in off the bike and I threw on my running shoes and started running.  I knew I was going out WAY too fast - an 8 minute mile is just ridiculous - but I wasn't able to really slow down.  My plan was to run about 9 min mile-ish and then walk for a minute through the water stops.  When I got the first stop, I got my water and was planning to walk but then I saw Tommy and couldn't make myself do it.  Haha.  Stupid pride.  I kept running but slowed down finally. I walked quite a bit on the last mile but still averaged about 9 minute miles overall. 

I finished in 1:16:35...about 5 minutes slower than my time last year.  I cannot believe it.  I am so happy that not only did I do well, but that I had fun.  I was so worried I wouldn't have fun and my motivation would go away but I loved it and it was fabulous (minus the spandex part of the day) and I CANNOT wait until August when I get to race again.  And the best part is that I got 1st place in the Athena division!  Hahaha.  Who knew?

1st Place Athena!
I love racing.  I am so so SO happy to be back in the game.  I can't wait to see what the rest of the season holds.
Anna the Beast at 7 Weeks Old