Friday, December 19, 2008

Ready for the Holidays!

I am so ready for the holidays to be here. Seriously.

It's the Friday before Christmas, which means that the only people in the office are people who were too irresponsible to save their vacation time till the end of the year. I.e. me. I went a lot of fabulous vacations...France, England, Germany, New York City and spent my days freezing my butt off in each of these cities. Well, Germnay wasn't that cold, but it WAS July and I needed a jacket. That's just wrong.

I am meeting an old friend for lunch in a few minutes and after that I will be borrowing half a vacation day from next year so that I may wander the mall aimlessly instead of sitting in my quiet cubicle surfing the internet.

This weekend will be glorious. Tonight Tommy and I are planning on doing nothing...which hopefully includes renting The Dark Knight on blu-ray and eating mac and cheese. Yum. Thenm, hopefully, Tommy will buy some Christmas presents for me...because right now, our tree has a lot of presents under it, not not a single one has my name on it. I think he hates me. Siiiiiiigh.

Saturday night Lino turns 40 (old balls!) and we will be attending his Birthday bash...after the LSU/A&M/UT/Michigan St basketball game. It's wierd because ALL of my friends in Houston went to one of those 4 schools. I'm serious. I don't know anyone who went to a school other than those 4..and yes, surprisingly, I know a lot of Michigan St people. I think it's wierd too.

We leave for Dallas on Tuesday after work and will spend the weekend there...should be nice and relaxing. I can't wait.

Holidays, please hurry. I need a break!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hurricane Ike

My first real hurricane in Houston and I am ready to throw in the towel. I'd move, but really, my friends in Ohio lost power due to Ike, so it's not like I can really escape it, ya know?

The storm was supposed to start blasting downtown around 5 or 6PM on Friday and last through the night and the next day. Tommy and I got the bright idea to go ahead and do our 15 mile run on Friday morning so we would feel okay with drinking ourselves into oblivion that evening. We ran, walked the dog a mile or two, got some doughnuts, tried to nap, packed up the house and headed to Francis' for the Hurricane Party of the century.

The party at Frank's was a blast. We ate, we drank (some would say too much) and played Rock Band. Luckily, we had the right minds to calibrate the system before we got too wasted...it was magnificent. Francis has a great view of downtown from his third floor and the guys (I was totally already passed out - I didn't even brush my teeth!) watched as the power went out downtown. The storm raged through the night...but it was wierd, you couldn't really hear it downstairs. Up on the second floor though, it was really scary.

We could see that Frank's neighbors tree had crushed their garage, and narrowly missed the house. The wind was loud, the rain was sideways and we had no power. I fell down the stairs not once, but twice. The guys worked hard to fix the leaks in Franks house and we started up the generator to keep food cool.

Once the storm died down, Tommy and drove the .25 miles to our house to survey the damage. There was a lot of impassable roads, but we made it there in one piece. It turns out that our street drains pretty well...no standing water at all. Lots of tree limbs, but no water.

Our house had no damage - the yard was pretty messed up - but no damage to the house at all. Thank goodness. Our poor neighbors, who were robbed a few weeks prior, lost their roof, so it rained in their living room for most of the storm. Pretty terrible. Giant trees blocked roadways, the water was ridiculously high in the bayous and there was a lot of really bad structural damage.

We stopped at Christian's Tailgate (a local bar in Midtown) for a drink...there was no power or water, so it was a cash bar and you needed a flash light to find the bathroom and once you finally found it, you regretted it. Lack of running water makes flushing a challenge. But once again, the party was fun. It's amazing how people can come together in times of adversity. The line for the bar was very controlled, someone pulled their car up close and turned on some music and someone brought in a BBQ pit to make food. All in all, it was good time.

Tommy and I finally decided that we would drive to Dallas to escape the blistering heat at our un-airconditioned house, so we packed up the essentials and got on the road. We made it to Dallas by midnight, where my parents let us shower and fall into bed. We were exhausted and filthy.

We spent the weekend relaxing, but had to come back on Monday for Tommy to work. The town was still in disarray and we were still without power. Luckily, we have some of the most amazing friends in the world who were willing to put us (and our giant mutt) up for a few nights - THANK YOU Thomas and Janelle. We were without power for 11 days and it was hard. Those 11 days taught me how to drink like a fish and never get hungover. How it was possible is totally beyond me. I drank more in those 11 days than I did my entire freshman year combined. I now understand (and respect) why homeless people are always wasted. You HAVE to be drunk to be okay with being homeless.

Anyways, all in all, it was hard and I don't want to do it again, but I have some great memories from the days spent at Francis' in dungeon, on the air mattress in Thomas's loft and on the couch at Janelle's house...nevermind the many afternoons spent at West Alabama Ice House. I know that living in Houston I will probably have to deal with it again, but next time I will have a house with windows that I can open, a generator and a window unit. I'll be set.

This picture is a house down the street from us. It looks very cute from the front, but you can't tell that it's been totally cut in half.



This picture was taken on Nov. 15, almost 2 months after the hurricane. The tree is STILL stuck in the house.



Same house, from the other end of the tree. Those are the roots sticking out of the ground. The tree was so big it actually hit the house next door as well, but didn't do quite as much damage.



This is of Chase Tower downtown. The roads were closed off for at least week because of all the glass surrounding the downtown buildings.



This is what our neighborhood looked like a few days after the storm. The rain had drained away, but so many roads were blocked with downed trees and power lines...it took FOREVER to get anywhere.



This is of Seaside Beach in Galveston looking out at the Causeway. As you probably guessed, this area is usually not completed submerged.



And now for the picture that everyone has seen, but you can't have a Hurricane Ike blog and not mention... I just want to say that I need to get that guy to build my next house.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Torture.

The things I do to torture my pet.

This is him in his Halloween costume. Because he is so large, I just have to buy the costumes I can find in XL. Sooo, this year he was forced to go as Pocahontas. I think he likes it.



This is him in the hooded sweatshirt we got him from Old Navy. He isn't really a fan of the hood portion of the event.





This one is just funny because his head looks so giant.

Moving Day!!

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008, I officially became a homeowner.

Tommy and I purchased our first home together and man, it was a great feeling walking into that brand-new, GORGEOUS house with our bottle of champagne, knowing that it was all ours.

That is, it was great until the phone installation guy backed over a water main and shut off water to our whole block within 15 minutes of homeownership. I mean, we didn't even have a chance to toast to our new house yet!! Luckily, after a trip to Lowe's down the street, the phone guy was able to repair the water line and turn the water back on. But seriously? We had only owned the home for half an hour.

THEN...yes, there's more. It's me. Of course there is more.

Tommy went to the old house to help the movers load the truck while I stayed at home to unpack the kitchen stuff we brought over earlier. The movers showed up an hour and a half late (at 4PM instead of 2:30) and it took them FOREVER to load the truck. When they finally had everything in the truck and they were about to head to the new house, the truck broke down. Yup, that's right. The truck broke down, in the driveway of my old house, with all my belongings in it at 6:30PM. They were able to get it started again, but it broke down several more times in the 4 mile journey from old to new house. It took them an hour to drive 4 miles. They finally finished unpacking around 8:30 and we were able to unpack a little before passing out.

All in all the house is great and we are so thankful that everything has worked out thus far.

Here is a picture of Don in all my packing materials. He is clearly not enjoying this. I think the crinkling of the paper was too loud for him. (In the background you can see the floor of the living room...oooh, ahhh)

Monday, November 03, 2008

Moving.

Tommy and I are attempting to buy a house. It would appear that if you are a dipshit, buying a house is easy (I'm basing this entirely on the number of foreclosures around the nation) and if you are trying to be smart, they pretty much try to stick things up your a$$ every chance they get. So, buying a house is hard and my ass hurts.

We are supposed to close tomorrow, but then again, we were supposed to close last week too, so, I'm not counting on much these days. We will see. My fingers are crossed and they have been for a looooong time.

I am really excited about moving into a house that isn't a piece of crap since that's all I've ever lived in my entire adult life. I have lived in 11 different places in the last 9 years...6 of those places have been in the last 4 years. That's just wrong.

1. August 1999-December 1999
Freshman Year
I shared a dorm room in Haas Hall with Emily. As it turns out, this was also the lesbian basketball player dorm. We were two of the few who didn't play sports and didn't prefer women. This dorm also had a very strange smell.

2. January 2000-May 2000
Freshman Year
I shared a VERY small dorm with this crazy girl named Kim. She would disappear for weeks and steal my clothes and my credit cards. She was awesome. I think she also used to hide under her bed so I wouldn't know she was there. Seriously. Creepy.

3. May 2000-August 2000
Freshman Summer
Moved back home with my parents for the summer because they wanted to torture me. Apparently I was bad enough that they requested that I never move back home. My plan was genius.


4. August 2000-August 2001
Sophomore Year
My first apartment was with Sara, Julienne and Kristin. Sara and Kristin shared a room and I had the cool converted living room so I had my own front door. I shared a bathroom with Julienne who also turned out to be a crazy girl. This place was a dump - http://www.poloclubapartments.net You know a place is good when they only pictures they show is the front office...and even that is scary. I once saw a man jerking off at the swimming pool. I'm telling you, this place was disgusting. BUT, it was my first apartment. I loved it.

5. August 2001-August 2002
Junior Year
Sara and I moved to a three bedroom apartment with her friend Jessica. This was the nicest place I have ever lived, other than the corporate apartment Dow gave me when I interned. This living situation just wasn't good for reasons that I can no longer remember, but it was drama at the time.

6. August 2002-August 2004
Senior and Second Senior Years
Due to the Drama at the previous apartment, I decided to go it alone and get my own place. This place was probably the worst of all the places and I am actually quite embarressed that I spent so long in a 400sq ft one room apartment. But since I was no longer splitting rents, I had to make ends meet. The Doux Chene...http://www.dcapts.com/ Once again, you KNOW it's good when they don't actually show any pictures. I painted a wall hot pink once and was too lazy to repaint...seriosly. Surprisingly though, I was very happy here and only have good memories...despite the blue carpet and hot pink wall. The place was so small I could open the fridge from my bed. There are some very specific reasons why I gained so much wieght in college...

During my time at the Doux Chene, I relocated to Houston for an internship, but since that apartment was furnished and I didn't have to lift a couch, I don't consider it a real move. I left all my stuff at the Blue Douche for the summer and came home 3 months later.

7. May 2004-November 2004
1st Few Months Out of College
I relocated to Houston after graudation and found a lovely little one bedroom that me and my giant mutt quickly outgrew. After a few months I realized that when the SPCA said he would be 35 pounds, they really meant 70 pounds, and I was going to need a bigger place. I don't know why I am constantly drawn to ugly and gross apartments, but once again, the website doesn't actually show any pictures of the buildings. http://www.tanglewoodcourt.com/

8. November 2004-August 2005
I was able to upgrade to a 2 bedroom apartment at the same complex where the mutt and I could flourish. This apartment was ghetto, but bigger, so therefore slightly less ghetto?

9. August 2005-August 2006
Why I always insisted on moving in the hottest month of the year, I have no idea. But I was able to find a cute little one bedroom house to rent right next to Memorial Park. It was perfect for Don and I. We were able to run to the park and play and he had a yard and it was magical. That is, it was magical until my landlord broke in one day and rearranged my furniture and opened all my windows. That was pretty awesome. So, I moved out.

10. August 2006-December 2006
Natalie and I moved into a giant house together. This seemed like a great idea, but what we didn't realize was that this landlord was even creepier than my previous landlord and only rented the place to us because we were young girls. He didn't even do a credit check. Bizarre. Around December, I pretty much moved out and moved in with Tommy.

11. December 2006-August 2008
I moved into my man friends VERY small garage apartment in the Heights...which, surprisingly is one of the best living situations I have ever had. Up until our landlord got this AWFUL monster Yorkie dog. I have never wanted to kick a puppy so much in my entire life. We lived almost 2 blissful years there before we got antsy. Sharing 700 sq ft with another person and a giant dog isn't easy. Our bathroom was so small that I could sit on the toilet, rest my head on the sink and wash my feet in the tub at the same time. We didn't have heat at all and only had central AC. It didn't have much, but we loved it. We had a storage shed for all our junk and we made weekly trips there to trade out things. The good news was that we could clean the place from top to bottom in under 2 hours. Despite having been robbed while we were sleeping, we loved the neighborhood, the people, the location, pretty much everything. This is where we want to live forever. Siiiiiiiigh.

12. August 2008-November 2008
The garage apartment just got too small and we decided we wanted to upgrade our renting capabilities so we could save for a couple more years before buying our dream house. Sooo, we found a great little bungalow in Montrose, which is a little seedier, but in an excellent location. Within one week of living there, our neighbors got robbed. Awesome. At least it wasn't us. This house has pretty much been a disaster from the beginning to the end. The AC was broken when we moved in and out of the first 53 days we lived there, we only had AC for 24 of those days. The house is cursed and I am pretty sure someone died a brutal death there and is trying to haunt us to get us to leave. No prob bob. We broke our lease and are moving out by the 12th.

Which brings us to home #13. Lucky #13. We are supposed to close on a house tomorrow morning and move tomorrow afternoon. This will be the 13th time I have packed all my belongings and moved them in 9 years. That averages out to me moving every 251 days or approx every 8 months. This is a cost of about $500 per move, excluding deposits...and a total of $6000.

The worst part though is when I have to reset a password (or something) and they want me to confirm where I lived in May of 2002 and I have no freaking clue.

Wish us luck tomorrow. It's gonna be a doozy.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

My Husband Wears ALL the Pants in the Family

A typical day at our house begins when the alarm goes off at 4:30AM and we wake up in a half stupor and do some whining. The whining doesn’t usually stop until we get to the park. (And even then I am known to lay down on my towel in the grass and mope for a few minutes). The workout begins at 5:15AM and is HARD. We then shower in the locker rooms at the park and head to respective workplaces.

Anyway, this is just the backstory, and some slight justification as to why my husband is a crossdresser.

On Monday morning, it was the typical routine. Wake up, moan, dress in a stupor, go to the park, workout, and then shower. We usually end up getting dressed in about the same amount of time (yeah, I’m awesomely quick…he is so lucky) so we can usually walk to our cars together or at least grab a kiss before the day officially begins.

On this particular day, I was walking to my car when I heard Tommy behind me. I turned and saw him. I sensed something was wrong with his pants…maybe they were too long? Too big? I couldn’t quite figure it out. But I opted not to say anything. He asked what was wrong.
I said, “Nothing – you look great!”
And he said, “It’s the pants isn’t it?”
I responded with, “Well, something looks a little off about them…”
He comes back with, “Well, they’re yours.”

HAHAHAHAHA.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Sure enough though, upon closer inspection, he was in fact wearing my favorite black slacks from Express…and they looked better on him than they do on me. At this point, his biggest complaint was that the pockets weren’t big enough for all his crap. Duh. This is why we need giant purses. Idiot. The flare leg was quite flattering on him, albeit slightly emasculating.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

He said he showered and was pulling up the pants when he tried to zip them up, and lo and behold the zipper was on the wrong side. At this point, he realized that he had accidentally grabbed my pants from the closet, but didn’t want to put back on his dirty workout clothes, and hey, my pants fit, so why not wear them? He also said he felt like a crossdresser. I told him that was because he WAS a crossdresser.

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHA.

When I get back from lunch, I find an email from Tommy in my inbox:

“Tommy to me
show details Sep 8 (2 days ago) Reply

It's weird having the zipper and all backwards. And hard to get the equipment out since the zipper doesn't go down all that far. Haha. It's hard to wear womens pants.

You know what they say about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? Do the pants count? If so, I think I will be able to learn more about you after today...”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I forward this to Harold, who proceeds to forward it to most everyone Tommy knows, and before long, people Tommy doesn’t even know are emailing him asking about the situation. His co-worker took a picture, which unfortunately, doesn’t really do the situation justice, so I’ve attached one I took when he got home.




To my loving husband: You’ve GOT to stop stealing stuff from my closet. And you’re taking the dry cleaning in this week. I’m afraid of it.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Kevin and Jorja's Wedding

I'm behind on my blogging. As usual.

My friend Kevin married a wonderful woman named Jorja (her parents REALLY wanted points on Scrabble) in College Station a couple of months ago. The wedding was a nice Catholic mass, with all the Catholic traditions (I say ALL, but let's be honest, I have no idea how many Catholic traditions there are, so, let's just say there were MANY Catholic traditions). The ceremony was beautiful, Jorja looked beautiful, the church was beautiful and frankly, my dress was pretty nice as well.

After the ceremony, we all headed down to the Texas Hall of Fame for a bootscootin' reception! Tommy and I pitstopped at the gas station to get a giant Monster energy drink, I changed my shoes to match the bride and we joined the crew. Kevin's cake look remarkably like the getaway vehicle, although, I doubt there was any intent to make them look similar. We danced, we cried, the groomsmen all wore one glove (which totally freaked me out), we drank many beers, we took inappropriate pictures and we laughed. All in all, a great time was had. And here is a picture of Jorja's cake, so it doesn't feel left out... And somehow, Thomas got ahold of Jorja's veil and started making eyes at my man friend. It would not appear that he was bothered by these advances.

For grand exit of the newlyweds, we all walked outside into the BLAZING SUN. It was very remniscient of Varsity Blues when they walk out of the strip club...you know what scene I'm talking about? We felt like we had been partying all night, so therefore, it should be dark. But no, it was only 6pm, and the sun will still high in the sky.

And then, while birdseed SEEMS romantic and lovely, you end up with pictures like this.

The crew then headed out to The Dixie Chicken for more eating, dominoes, pool and inappropriate behavoir...mostly on the part of me. I just love rubbing my bottom on things. AND I lost my glasses. Ugh.

All in all, an excellent trip to College Station, an excellent wedding of two fabulous people and I got an excellent pair of new glasses out of the deal.


Ole!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Facebook is life.

I'm addicted to Facebook (and Myspace for that matter), but I am not one of those people who uploads my pictures from the night before right after I wake up or plays games or "pokes" people. I am one of those people who uses it mostly for stalking purposes. The automatic tracker has made my stalking so easy and carefree. I know where all my friends are, all the time.

On Sunday, I was catching up on a weekend of stalking - so much can happen in two days - when I came up the fact that my friend, we will call him Bino, was now married. Despite the fact that I haven't seen him in at least a year, I am still one of his Top Friends on Myspace and I stalk often, so I know what is going on with him...typically. The fact that he was married was highly suspect - even though he goes to Vegas regularly and he can party harder than most. However, I saw it on Facebook and immediately knew it was gospel.

I texted Frank, wanting to know if he had heard the news. He had and was as confused as me. He said he would look into it. From what what Frank told me, Bino WAS married and he had gotten married in Vegas and he was happy. Go team.

I knew Facebook wouldn't lie.

Then I forwarded my newfound knowledge to Kate and Janelle who expressed disbelief - their faith in Facebook is not as big as a msutard seed. Kate had spent the evening with Bino the night before and he hadn't mentioned anything...and the first crack in my belief system was born.

She said she would get to the bottom of it. After a days worth of emailing, texting and checking and re-checking Facebook status, it was determined that he was married. And he was happy.

So, go Bino. We are happy for you. Next time though, send an email at least. I don't have time to convince people that Facebook is the final word anymore.

Typical

It was a typical week in our household, but lucky for me (and unlucky for Tommy), most of the bad crap happened to him. Regardless, it was an expensive week.

On Monday, Tommy hit a giant piece of wood on the highway - it flattened one of his tires. Let's remember that his car is not quite yet 2 months old.

On Tuesday, I went and got new glasses because I got drunk on Saturday and lost mine. Ooops.

On Thursday, Tommy got a speeding ticket on his way to work. This is especially ridiculous since the man drives like a grandpa and is highly addicted to his cruise control.

All in all, it was typical of us. We try to save money, and we end up dropping a grand in one week...and we have nothing to show for it. Awesome.

We did round out Thursday night with a fabulous evening at Sherlocks for Aggie Happy Hour. And we are moving into our new house next Monday...ouch. Here are some pics of the new place. We are moving into Gay Central, which is also known as Montrose. And our neighbors have a pool according to GoogleEarth...looks like I'll be trying to befriend them ASAP.


The front of the house


The living/dining room.

One of the major concerns was how will set up the living room to be the most conducive to Rock Band...?? The big questions in life always throw me too.

I CAN'T WAIT!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm going gray.

Not really. However, I did have the opportunity to see what it would be like yesterday morning.

I went to the gym before work, like I always do, and took my shower and got dressed afterwards. As I was finishing up my hair, I realized I had forgotten hairspray for my (oh so lovely) bangs. The YMCA has a little bucket of items that you might forget, so I grabbed an aerosol can and sprayed my bangs down. About midway through spraying, I realized that it smelled "fresh". Well, it smelled fresh because it was in fact aerosol deodorant...not hairspray. Awesome. The deodorant turned my entire head gray. It wasn't pretty. Apparently, I'm not going to age well.

Then of course, I had to rewash my hair in the sink. I heart getting dressed at the gym.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ode to my old phone

I just got a new phone. My old phone totally sucked so this is a great improvement. HOWEVER, there is one feature that my old phone had that my new one is lacking and it saddens me greatly.

I se predictive text while texting (duh.). I have gotten pretty good at it and I feel that I can safely text while driving at most speeds. This isn't relevant, I just wanted to brag.

My old phones predictive text was amazing though. When I type the word "comes" into my phone for texting, the predictive texter would guess that I was trying to type "boner". Every single time. You can't buy that can't of humor. You have no idea how many texts I sent to my mother about boners.

You know there are a bunch of Asians out there who design phones and are just cracking themselves up. I just wish this novel feature had been incorporated into my new model. Siiiiiigh.

Speaking of boners, have you heard that Rod Ryan show where they get the grandma's to call in and see how many times they can say "boner"? Hahahahahaha.

I miss my phone.

What's in a name?

I normally don't print full names or email addresses on here for fear that some of you might turn out to be crazy stalker people and show up outside my window one night...but this practice also protects the innocents in my stories. However, in this instance, I can't avoid it. So, I apologize in advance.

Simple Disclaimer (stolen from The Bachelor blog I sdore):
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies…that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying Spring Oreos and Spaghetti O’s or have a spin instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

So, I'm sorry too.

What's in a name? I have two stories.


Story #1
At Academy the other day, Tommy and I had some issues at the customer service counter. The girl couldn't figure out how to make our 37 gift cards into one giant gift card. We fought with her forever about it. Finally, we convinced her that buying ONE gift card for $214.67 and paying for that ONE gift card with 37 gift cards was the easiest way to do this. I maintain that her lack of brain cells is due to the fact that her name was TREMENDOUS JOHNSON. Yes, folks, you heard me right. Her name was Tremendous Johnson. When I have children, I hope I go through the list of names and pick something that means Giant Wiener as well.

Story #2
I had to set up a meeting last week with a woman named Betty Heverly whom I have never met. Everytime I looked at her name, I said "Beverly Heverly"...instead of Betty. Our meeting began and the first thing she says to me is "Do not call me Beverly." I spent the next two hours calling her Beverly...over and over again. I can't figure out why I'm not CEO yet.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I think Tommy is in trouble...

Some thought my last blog was somewhat negative. Here are Ed's thoughts concerning my Negative Nancy-ness:

Edward-o to me
8:28 am (7 hours ago)

I read your blog today. You need to get laid more and maybe your anger will subside. If you are getting laid regularly then you need to have a threesome with Tommy and another girl….twice. Tommy did not put me up to this.

Ed

Monday, May 19, 2008

10 Things I Hate About You

Whistling/Singing/Humming to oneself. I just don't understand the reasoning behind this. Never once have I sung to myself in the presence of others. Don't get me wrong, I sing by myself all the time...that's the key though, I'm BY MYSELF. I don't understand people who hum while they pee, or sing in the stairwell, or whistle while they grocery shop. It's annoying. If I wanted music, I'd wear headphones. I may have to start wearing headphones just drown you out.

Conference calls on speakerphone in a cubicle farm.

Body Odor. But more specifically, men who sit next to me on planes with body odor.

Men with long gnarly fingernails (who don't do drugs and therefore have no need for gnarly long fingernails.)

Men with long gnarly fingernails...including the ones who do drugs.

Farting in a cubicle farm...we are not talking SBD's (Silent But Deadlys), we are talking full on tooting at regular intervals. Why must I be forced to contain my laughter? And why doens't anyone else think this is funny?

When the queso at a mexican food place is gross.

Valet parking at ridiculous places and at ridiculous times. More specifically, I hate paying to park and this is considered an acceptable reason for me to decline an invitation somewhere.

People with names like Tremendous Johnson. Yes, I have met a woman named Tremendous - she works at Academy on Westheimer at Voss. She was dumb as a stick. I realize these two things would appear to be unrelated, but I know that if my name was Tremendous, I probably wouldn't feel like I needed to use my brain either.

Customer Service Representatives. I dislike them all out of principle, but I really hate the ones who can't speak my language and/or who have absolutely no desire to actually fix the problem. I REALLY hate Comcast.

People who consistently can't turn off their cell phone ringers. And especially people who consistently can't turn off their cell phone ringers who have annoying rings. No, it not cool when your phone barks instead of rings. No, I do not like the theme song from Growing Pains (that's a lie, I DO like the theme song, just not every 20 minutes). You've been reminded 37 times to turn off your ringer...why are you an idiot?

People who repeat the same joke over and over again until you laugh. And before any of you judge me, I am well aware that I do this...but I hate it about myself. Ugh!The first step is recognizing that you have a problem. The second step is remembering that you don't talk about Fight Club.

Crumbly cheeses. Rain. Brussel sprouts. Small dogs. Small cars. Big bridges. Treadmill. Spiders, snakes and most other reptilia and amphibia and arachnids and such. Tequila. Retractable leashes. Cats.

These are just to name a few. I'm such an upbeat person.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Chain Lingerie?

Funny little thing that happened to my friend, who we will call Schmelrie, last night. He was on a "date" and they were walking around the multi-Starbucked area of River Oaks on West Gray... (the names have been changed to protect the filthy).

From Schmelrie:
We’re walking by river oaks theatre, and she mentioned that she’d never been in that area. I say there’s tons of shopping, not my style, because I’m a guy. She said that it’s not really her style either.

So we walk next to a lingerie place, and I point at some risqué clothing, and I say, "Is that more your style?"

Her response, “No, I preferred chains.”

Schmelrie’s response, “Chains? I didn’t know you were that type of girl.”

Her response, “No, I mean chain stores, I prefer shopping at chain stores.”

I thought she liked to wear chain lingerie.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Thursday, April 17, 2008

If I had a baby, he would be a Blood.

Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join

Police: Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller
POSTED: 7:10 pm MDT April 10, 2008
UPDATED: 7:27 am MDT April 11, 2008

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.

Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence.

Types of Runners

I'm a Stinkbomber.

http://www.active.com/running/Articles/The_10_Types_of_Runners.htm

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Chuck Norris

So, I work for Dow Chemical. Our slogan is "The Human Element"...if you watch the National Geographic channel, you've seen the commercials. If you don't then you are probably cooler than all the people I work with. Anyways, our CEO writes this blog every so often and people are given the opportunity to comment. At the end of the comments today, this was what I read:

I heard Chuck Norris destroyed the "Human Element" because the only element he believes in is "The element of suprise".
Nathan | April 8, 2008 2:41 AM


Who says engineers aren't funny? (I would like to point out that this comment was made at 2:41AM. Seriously?)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Reasons I Heart My Husband


Now, this could get a little sappy, but really, I must brag for a little bit. Oh, and the reasons are included, but not limited to, the items listed here.

10. He lets me sleep on the side of the bed with the air conditioner. And he doesn't even complain (at least not much) about the fish flopping I do when I can't sleep (which is all the time).
9. He loves to sit outside all day with me...sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we go to the bar, sometimes we go to the pool...it doesn't matter. But a gorgeous day means we are outside. However, we did waste one of the most beautiful days of 2007 inside Bed, Bath and Beyond for 4 hours registering for wedding gifts...painful.
8. He bought me Rock Band and lets me play the drums all the time.
7. He is hsyterical. Probably the funniest person I know. Kangaroo Song! Kangaroo Song!
6. He looks super hot in his Six Jeans..and his Sevens. Yes, I fully support the purchase of fancy pants for men...seriously, his butt looks so good!
5. He is such a good friend - to me and to everyone he meets. This is a good thing because I am generally pretty evil...they say opposites attract?
4. He took me to the ballet for my birthday and didn't even make fun of me when I cried through the whole thing. Then at intermission, we bought too much booze, so he smuggled it into the theater in his coat pockets.
3. He has adopted my dog...his name is now Dog Blain. And he taught him how to do the Hog Tie...it's very similar to calves getting roped.
2. He loves to be a redneck. It's funny though, because a guy who wears Seven Jeans can't actually BE a redneck, but he tries...he really does. He drinks crappy beer, shoots bb-guns and fishes. For some reason, this turns me on. It baffles me too.
1. He calls me his angel...and we all know how unangelic I typically am.
0. Mostly though, I love him because when the alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning, he cuddles me for the first 9 minutes of my day (snooze time)...and it is the best 9 minutes of every day.


Okay, enough sap. But seriously, I am the luckiest woman alive.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Irrational Women. Ex: Me.

My birthday was yesterday. Wahoo.

For this momentous day, my wonderful husband planned a week of festivities (birthDAY my arse, let's schedule a week my friends!). We started the Sunday before with Sunday Funday at the fabulous pub down the street from our house. We drank too much and ate too much crawfish and it was magical. On Wednesday, we were all supposed to go to Lucky's, a bar downtown, to play Rock Band...they have Rock Band night on Wednesdays. Thursday, we would do dinner and dancing at Wild West. Friday, there was a special date for just he and I, and on Saturday, my parents were coming in town to go to the rodeo. Then, we would round it out with another Sunday Funday. Life is good my friends.

I was really looking forward to Rock Band at Lucky's. Like, REALLY looking forward to it. I mean, REEEEEEEEAALLY looking forward to it. I am tired of playing Rock Band in my living room. I wanted to get out and on that stage and show people what I am made of. And frankly, I just like being on a stage...and since I am officially too old/fat to be a ballerina, this is my next best thing. Oh, and did I mention that I am totally obsessed with Rock Band? I lay awake at night thinking of paradiddles and backbeats. Seriously. I got fancy drumsticks as presents for my birthday. I mean, I am obsessed.

Well, we go to Lucky's, and there is a table by the door collecting "donations" for Putnam County Spelling Bee (which is a play...not actually a spelling bee), so we went around to the back where the basketball game was on. We all order drinks, spelling bee ends and we go to the main room to play Rock Band. After about an hour, the truth comes out. Lucky's XBOX experienced the Circle of Death and there will be no Rock Band.

Now, I realized that this was not the end of the world. I realized that the day could go on and I could just relax and have fun. I realized that my friends had all come out to hang out with me and I should enjoy them, but for some reason I was irrationally upset. I also realized that it was irrational for me to be upset. But I was upset nonetheless.

One of the beautiful things about being a woman is that we can get upset over nothing and pretty much get away with it. I mean, I know you all thought I was a crazy hooooo on Wednesday, but you loved me enough to come out on Thursday and pretend like nothing happened. Thanks. You are appreciated.

Now, I have decided that we will just take Rock Band to The Wet Spot one rainy day this summer and I will get to have my Rock Band public debut. It WILL happen. I didn't practice Enter Sandman on Expert for nothing.

Oh, and not to toot my own horn, but I am awesome at Rock Band. Since I didn't get to have my drumming debut, I will just have to tell you about my awesomeness. Seriously, I'm good.

I have informed my wonderful husband that we will be purchasing a house with the sole purpose of me having a room for the drum set that I will be purchasing in the near future. As if I didn't already have enough hearing problems...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My. Life. Goal.

I have always talked about how awesome it would be if a group of arbitrary people broke out in song and dance for no apparent reason. Well, these people have made my dreams come true. Please check out this video. I worship these people.

http://improveverywhere.com/2008/03/09/food-court-musical/#more-221

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Sunday Funday!

We got accidentally drunk on Sunday. And it was good.

Tommy and I woke up with a hankering for some food...normally we are veri decisive about our food selection (and by "we", i mean "me"), but this day we couldn't come up with what we wanted. We drove around and finally ended up at KC's Bar and Grill for some crawfish.

We called Janelle who called Francis and Kate. We called Matt and Brandie. And thus, Sunday Funday was born.

The crawfish were very expensive, so we only ate enough for it to be a nice little snack-etizer, and then the rest of the crew started showing up. Tommy and I had been enjoying a rousing game of Rummy (our typical card game) when Janelle showed up and wanted to play Mississippi Hi-Lo. (So, really, the downward spiral of the day can all be blamed on Janelle). Francis and Kate and Matt and Brandie all showed up and the day just got better. Eventually, we decided that Rock Band was in order and we trekked back to the our shack for some musical talent.

Luckily, Brandie ordered pizza...we may not have survived the day without it. We played Rock Band until our fingers were numb. How there are no pictures of this day is totally beyond me.

Eventually, when I discovered that Tommy's khaki shorts were covered in red wine, but he couldn't form a sentence long enough to tell me how this happened, I kicked everyone out. Haha. I have no idea what time everyone left.

After a fit-full night of drunken sleeping, I woke up to find two slices of pizza sitting atop the butter in the refrigerator...they weren't packaged in any way. Just two slices on the butter. Awesome. We ate them for breakfast.

The tornado that destroyed our living room the previous evening was dealt with...the wine was cleaned and with a little vacuuming, all the pizza and beer remnants were taken care of.

I heart Sunday Funday. It was the perfect end to a perfect weekend!!

Tommy and I spent Monday working off our hangover at Cafe Adobe with some margaritas and then went to the movies.

This is the story of the wine spillage, told by Francis:

from Francis
to Christy, Brandie, Matt, Janelle, Kate, Tommy
date Mar 3, 2008 10:39 AM
subject Re: Sunday Funday!!


Ok. Here is the play by play for Tommy's wine spillage... We were rockin out and Tommy really liked how I had just finished a part in the song... so he was being the happy supporter and leaned over and gave me a big "good job" jab to my arm (in a nice way)... and said something like, "that a way Frannie"... (not exactly sure since there was some slurring involved)... then he leaned back to his spot and that is when he took his wine glass with him.... I didn't want him to feel bad while he was in his happy drunk state so I thought I'd wait until today to give the play by play... :)

I did my couch work late last night... catching up on my episodes of Lost and other missed shows... went to bed at 2:30am and was a little tired getting up today...yes I went to work....

Looking forward to our next fun session!

Janelle's Response:

from Janelle
to Francis, Christy, Brandie, Matt, Kate, Tommy
date Mar 3, 2008 5:02 PM
subject RE: Sunday Funday!!


francis' recap of the spilling wine is pretty accurate as i was happily sitting on the couch drinking my beer. the places the wine spilled: carpet/rug, table, and all over tommy's leg- did you feel the stickiness after it all dried???

Sunday, February 24, 2008

My Mom's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

My mom has had a rough couple of weeks - work sucks, she is stressed out and their two dogs are ages 15 and 17 and have lost their minds and all bladder control.

The dogs are very old and very senile. One of them, Fluffy is about 15 years old, completely deaf, blind, and has lost his mind. It's very sad - he has been a part of our family for so long. My parents decided to put him down next weekend - I will be heading home to Dallas to say goodbye and hang out with my family. But yesterday, my mom was sitting around, thinking about how she didn't think she could do it - putting him down would be way to hard...that is, she thought it would be too hard until THIS happened:

Like previously mentioned, Fluffy has lost bladder control - he pees and poops everywhere. Apparently, the feces has gotten bad enough that my parents hate having people over...the carpet looks that bad (I'll make my own judgements when I go home this weekend). So, yesterday, my mom was thinking that she couldn't put Fluffy to sleep and then she went to run some errands. On her way out the door, she noticed a big pile of Fluffy poop, but she was running late, was stressed out and I think it has all just gotten to be too much, so she just left it and was going to clean it up when she got home in about an hour.

So, she left the poop where it was. She ran her errands and upon arrival at home, she noticed that Roomba (the robotic vacuum cleaner that lovingly vacuums every inch of the house) had turned on and began to vacuum. Then she noticed that Roomba had vacuumed the poop...and subsequently spread poop all over the house. Poop had gotten in the wheels of the Roomba and had rolled all over the house.

As if you weren't already having a bad day, right? Poor mom.

Well, since things weren't going well to begin with, she just left the poop and went back out to run more errands...in hopes that my dad would come home and clean it up. Hahaha.

Poor Fluff Dog - we will miss you!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Projectile Soda

My friend Roy is moving to The Sandbox for work....aka Saudi Arabia. A group of us went to lunch with him to say goodbye and the conversation quickly turned perverse (as it is wont to do in Roys presence).

We discussed colonoscopies and how the men in our group feel the need to tell us of their graphic diarrhea associated with thier colonoscopies. We discussed nekkid friends at the gym...why do the old men/women feel the need to talk to me while they are naked? I have no idea. We discussed pooping in general and other things that are generally considered to be in the "Too Much Information" category....it was the perfect Drag Up lunch for Roy.

The highlight of lunch, however, was when for whatever reason, we started discussing Marque dressed in something unpleasant (I can't even remember what now). Marque said, "Now I can't get the idea of me in a thong out of my head." And that was when Troy spit his entire soda all the way across the table and onto Roy. I peed my pants a little. I haven't seen anything like that in years. It was amazing.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Sunday the 17th

Usually it's Friday the 13th that makes people's hair stand on end, but not for our family. Sunday the 17th was the Day of the Devil...I swear it was out to get us.

We awoke to the bedroom that was sweltering because our AC had broken and Conn's sucks and has decided to take their sweet time to fix it. I, having not slept well for the past 3 nights, popped out of bed because I had really just been waiting for an appropriate time to get up...I was bored senseless. I let the dog out to pee. Tommy and I start puttering. We are checking mail and chatting, reading the newspaper, making coffee, etc...typically Sunday morning.

Then the guitar to Rock Band breaks. This is a crisis. Our lives have just got flipped turned upside down. A trip to Best Buy is in order...STAT.

Then we start trying to pay bills when we learn that the bank has charged us an annual fee for something we didn't want, but they convinced us we needed...eff you Wells Fargo. We tried to get it taken off, but to no avail...they are all incompetent. I'll be switching banks as soon as I can.

Then we find a "Customer Fee" on our gas bill for $20. What the hell is a customer fee?? We tried calling, but the "Estimated Wait Time is 9,000,000,023 minutes. We will process your call in the order in which it was recieved." Eff you Centerpoint!!! If I had other gas options, I would take them!!

Finally we decide to take the guitar back...because really, a day without Rock Band is like a day in the burning inferno of hell. It takes awhile to return it because, let's be honest, despite the awesomeness that is Rock Band, it is a very poorly made game and it has broken about 4 times in the last 3 weeks. Luckily, we are still within our one month of returns to Best Buy...we have been back there thrice.

We get home and install the new guitar. It's "overdrive" mode doesn't work as well as the old one and is frankly, kind of retarded. It will likely go back by the end of the week.

After this debacle, Tommy is thouroughly depressed. I decide that it is better for us to stay home - leaving the house doesn't seem safe at this point. So, we try to watch Lord of the Rings - Return of the King (I haven't seen it). Of course, while we own all the other movies in the universe, this one has escaped out collection...so off to Blockbuster I go. But alas, the Blockbuster near our house is out of the movie. BUT in a highlight of my day, the Blockbuster person was not totally imcompetent...she knew what she was doing and she actually attempted to help a customer. Thank you Aisha...you deserve a raise. Sooo, she called another Blockbuster (about 15 minutes away)...and I went to pick up my movie. In typical (Aisha was a-typical) Blcokbuster fashion, renting a movie was a difficult task. My credit card on file expired so they need a new one, my address was wrong, my name was misspelled, blah blah blah...just let me rent a freaking movie...you have one late fee from 1997 at a Blockbuster in Timbuktu. Whatever. Just give me my effing movie!!

Ugh. I can't remember what else happened, but I am glad we stayed inside most of the day...who knows what lurked for us out our front door...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Finally. A Good Day.

Yesterday was my first good day (well, good weekday) in a looooong time. I had a decent day at work, I planned 2 trips to visit Paige in Portland this year, I had the most AMAZING run, I cuddled with my man on the couch while watching American Idol, I ate sushi, I went to bed early and I slept like a baby. Seriously. Best. Day. EVER.

In better news, I am moving to a new desk tomorrow - which means I don't have to sit next to crazy people anymore...or if I do end up next to crazy people, at least they will be NEW crazy people, and it will take awhile for their crazy to come out. I get to start a new project, which will hopefully not make me crazy and I am taking on some new/different responsibilities...next week is the first week of the rest of my life!! Hahaha. But seriously, I can't wait. I need my job to not hate me right now.

Funny things that happened this week: Nothing.

Sorry for the lame-o-ness of this entry. We really haven't left the house much since Rock Band was acquired..because, I mean, why would you leave when you could play Rock Band? I don't know.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Notes from the Bathroom Stall

My husband, Tommy, started a new job a couple of weeks ago. So far, things have been going well...

We were having a quick little conversation via texting earlier today. I sent, "I love you", and he sent, "No, I love you". And then I sent, "Well, I love you more". And he sent, ... just kidding. But really, we were texting. He asked about my job, which currently hates me, and I asked about his day (he was supposed to be really busy). This was his response:

Tommy: Blah on your job. I'm sorry. I got enough done to stay afloat, still lots to do but should be okay with the deadline. I did get locked in the bathroom stall a few minutes ago though! Haha.

Christy: Hahahahahaha. How does that happen? How did you make your escape??

Tommy: The door broke while I was in there. Couldn't unlock it. I climbed over the top into the next stall. Luckily nobody was in there. Haha. Could have sucked though!

Christy: Hahaha. You crack me up. That's ridiculous. Hahahaha.

Tommy: Your day could be worse. You could be stuck in the can.

And you know what? It COULD be worse. I could be stuck in the men's bathroom in my office - where there is apparently a Mad Shatter on the loose. You're right. My job isn't so bad.

You Know You're a Redneck When...

From the Houston Chronicle:

Police: Beer was strapped in, but not 16-month-old
Associated Press

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. — Police have arrested a motorist they say had a 24-pack of beer strapped in with a seat belt but had a 16-month-old girl unrestrained in the back seat with the toddler's mother.

Tina D. Williams was pulled over in St. Augustine on Sunday for allegedly running a red light.

A 24-pack of Busch beer was strapped in with the passenger-side seat belt, according to an arrest report. The girl was in the back seat with 20-year-old Amber Tedrick, who is the toddler's mother.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Destination Pregnancy

My pal Val is expecting two bundles of joy this summer, currently named Baby A and Baby B. In trying to let her family and friends (myself included) plan baby showers for her, she was surprised to find out that having a baby(ies) is just like planning a wedding...it's all about you, except well, when it's all about me (which is all of the time). Ha.

This morning Val asked me if she could have a destination pregnancy. I told her that, yes, of course you can - they are called convents. Her response was, "It'll be like a womb with a view".

A womb with a view. Ha! And that my friends, is reason 9,000,001 why we heart Val.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

BEER DRINKERS UNITE!

Beer Consumption Falls 15% in Germany
By KIRSTEN GRIESHABERAssociated Press

BERLIN — Germany and beer go together like Porsches and the autobahn, but health-conscious residents are turning from the country's traditional beverage in favor of juices and bottled water, sending suds sales down to the lowest levels in 15 years.

According to a government report released today, the amount of beer sold in Germany fell to the lowest sales figure since 1993 — dropping by 2.7 percent in 2007 to 22 billion pints, down 612 million pints from 2006.

The Federal Statistics Office said the drop in beer sales came as the demand for beer mixed with fruit juices, soft drinks and other nonalcoholic beverages rose 18.1 percent from 2006 to 2007, with some 887 million pints consumed by thirsty buyers.

Beer consumption in Germany has been falling steadily for more than a decade, a trend that experts have attributed to an increasingly health-conscious public and an aging population that is less likely to binge.

For last year's decline, the German Brewers Association blamed a rainy summer, noting that foul weather dampens the mood for lifting a stein on a summer evening.
But the group also pointed to shifting tastes.

"Our regular customers are getting older and don't drink as much anymore, and generally Germans prefer milder tastes today, and are more health conscious," spokesman Marc-Oliver Huhnholz said.

For the country's remaining beer drinkers, there's more scary news: Their beloved beverage — often called 'liquid bread' because it is a basic ingredient of many Germans' daily diet — is getting more expensive.

Some breweries have already raised prices, and many others say they will follow later this year.
The director of the famous Hofbraeuhaus beer hall in Munich said the brewery would increase its prices by about 74 cents per case in April.

"This is not about profit, it's about cost increase," Michael Moeller said, adding that the raw materials for the national beverage — barley malt and hops — have been getting more expensive.

Moeller said that per case of beer, the price of malt had increased by 30 cents and hops by 7 cents, and that energy costs to brew beer had risen by 10 percent.

On top of all the bad news, the southwestern state of Baden-Wuerttemberg has said it is considering a ban on selling beer from midnight to 6 a.m.

It's no wonder the Germans lost the title of biggest per capita beer drinkers to the Czechs a few years ago.

But, Huhnholz said, they still drink more than the Irish, who closely follow Germans.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

You've Got To Be Kidding.

There is a word in the english dictionary to specifically describe the act of eating ones poop.

Coprophagia. Yup, that is a fancy way of saying "poop-eating".

Just the other day, I was trying to think of the word, it was on the tip of my tongue, but it wouldn't come to me...but alas, it was coprophagia. Duh.

The 35 Cent Check

I found this article today and was amused...

How Far Would You Go to Cash a $0.35 Check?

Would you cash a 35-cent check? Two days ago I wouldn't have known the answer to that question. Now I do, and, I'm sorry to say, the answer for me is yes. Yesterday I spent 30 minutes traveling to my bank and back to cash a 35-cent check.
Here's the story and what I plan to do with my spoils.

Two weeks ago I received a letter from my health insurance carrier. Excited to be receiving an unexpected check, I tore into the envelope and retrieved a check written out to me for the grand sum of $0.35. I went to chuck the check into the trash bin, but some unknown and unseen force held me back.

Staring at the check, I laid it next to my computer, where it sat for two weeks, buried by the usual clutter that seems to follow me like grunge follows Pigpen of Charlie Brown fame. Two days ago while I sifted through the grunge, the check resurfaced. Convinced it had taken on a life of its own, I started to tear it up, but again something held me back. So I relented and took the check to work with me yesterday.

My bank, Citibank, is just across the street from where I work, so at midday I set out on a 35-cent adventure.

As I neared the bank, though, something didn't look quite right. As I got closer I noticed a large chain wrapped around and through the bank's door handles and held together by a padlock. At first I thought, "Wow, the credit meltdown took out Citibank! This is worse than I thought." Looking around I soon realized, however, that all the shops were closed because the office building had just begun renovations.

Racking my brain to remember where the next closest Citibank branch was, I reversed course and headed back the other way for five blocks. Entering the Citibank branch, I marched up to the teller and triumphantly tendered my 35-cent check.

"I'd like to cash this check, please. I'd prefer quarters and dimes." The teller looked at the check and without missing a beat said, "Are you sure you're comfortable walking around with this much money?" Nice.

Now get this: I actually had to sign for the cash. She just smiled and said it was bank policy. Now I'm thinking the insurance company and the bank are owned by the same company. Anyway, with cash in hand, I left the financial institution with my head held high and change a-jiggling in my pocket.

So what am I going to do with my newfound wealth? I'm putting it toward my savings goal. With that $0.35, I've already achieved .000875% of my goal. Giddy up.

Hangin' Tough

Being the owner of a worn out New Kids on the Block GREATEST HITS CD, I'm as excited as a 10 year-old girl in 1990 in my acid wash jean jacket with an "I heart Joey" button displayed proudly over my heart at the following news. Maybe the lyrics were true...they really are loving me forever.

From PEOPLE website:
After months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.The band's Web site, www.nkotb.com, which had been dormant, is now back up and running in anticipation of the official announcement, which the source says will be made in the next few weeks.

The site currently features a television graphic with a fuzzy, flickering photos of NKOTB in their heyday, and a link inviting fans to sign up for info.The boy band, which made legions of tweens swoon in the early '90s, selling more than 50 million albums, became a worldwide phenomenon before calling it quits in 1994.

Eighteen years later, they're still "Hangin' Tough." The oldest "Kid," Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band's demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight's brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.

In other news: Here is a video of Elizabeth Hasselbeck "Hangin' Tough" - http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20174612,00.html

Monday, January 28, 2008

ROCK BAND

On Saturdays, this very fun icehouse has Secret Saturday Concerts - http://www.myspace.com/secretsaturdayshows. Tommy, and I walked the dog to the bar where we planned to hang out for awhile and then walk back home. One of the many marvelous things about our neighborhood (and neighboring neighborhoods) is that we can walk just about anywhere. It was a gorgeous day and perfect for a nice walk and a good band. Unfortunately, the good band part of the day did not happen. The bands were terrible, but the people watching was fun and the beer was cheap. All in all, a succesful afternoon. Don had a great time too.

In the evening, we went to dinner for my friend Leslie's birthday. Now, luckily, I don't think she reads my blog, or at least doesn't yet, because I am about to bash her birthday dinner restaurant of choice. Hugo's on Westheimer - it's upscale mexican - and it's nasty. Everything on the menu sounded gross and it was at least $25 an entree. I ended up getting taquitos, which I don't even normally like, just because I knew what they were...and lo and behold, I did not like them.

Now, I understand that there is a difference between Tex-Mex and Mexican. And yes, i understand that Hugo's is mexican and not tex-mex. But I am here to tell you that I've been to Mexico and eaten their food and loved every bit of it...ain't nobody in Mexico that eats that shit. The menu highlight was Quail Quesadillas with peanut mole. Um, no thanks.

Do not eat at Hugo's. Taqueria Arandas is authentic mexican, it's 0.03% of the price, it's AWESOME and there is always a location near you.

Hanging out with Leslie and Adam was fun though! Food doesn't have to taste good to enjoy the company of friends!

After dinner, we met over at Zach's place to play a new video game his roomate got that day. I was tired and only planned to stay for an hour-ish. 4 hours later, we left (but I didn't even want to go then!). The game is called Rock Band for Playstation - it is also known as The Greatest Game Known To Man to people on the inner circle. It's like karaoke meets Guitar Hero. You have a guitar, a drum set and a mic and everyone sings/plays along to the song. Seriously, it was so fun. After 4 hours of playing, Tommy and I came home and began researching the potential purchase of Rock Band for our house. We had some rewards points slated for the purchase of a Wii, but those points were quickly moved to the Playstation fund...and now one resides in our living room. We played Rock Band from 1PM until I made Tommy turn it off at 9PM...and we only stopped then because I needed to come down off my adrenaline high. Seriously. It's the greatest game EVER. We started a band...we are called "Deadly Don". Tommy is on the guitar and I am on the drums. We got $25 for our first gig.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

GEAUX TIGAHS!

We went to New Orleans to celebrate Christmas and Jackson's birthday with Tommy's sisters family and it just so happened to coincide with the National Championship. We figured that since we were already in town, we might as well stay to play downtown during the game. This was a very good call.
Sunday was spent at a 3 year olds birthday party, which was also one of the more elaborate birthday parties I have ever been to. There was a moon bounce for goodness sake. A moon bounce for a 3 year old. He doesn't even reach the minimum height requirements yet!! Jackson was exhausted about 2 hours in and proceeded to pass out on the couch mid party...
On Monday, Tommy and I woke up early and drove across the lake to meet Brandie at her parents house, who were also gracious enough to take us in for the night. Her Paw-Paw drove us to the French Quarter at about 11 am so we could get our tailgate on. The first stop was at a hotel so Brandie could get a Bloody Mary and then to a daiquiri stand so I could begin my morning in smoother way.
We met Gary and D here later, but I don't remember what it was called...
TB and me in Jefferson Square? I think that's what it was called. Mmm...daiquiris...
Brandie's dads company had a fabulous tailgate near the Superdome - they had a whole parking lot tented off. It was amazing. They had crawfish, bread pudding, free booze and huge tvs. It was fabulous. I would venture to say that we walked back and forth from downtown to the French Quarter at least 4 times. I lost a toenail. Yup, that's how much we walked. I did ballet en pointe for 10 years, have completed 2 marathons, a dozen half marathons and never lost a toenail. But I go to one LSU tailgate and the little sucker just popped off. Are you freaking kidding me?
Brandie and I traded chinese yo-yos for these foam tiger paws. And then we did the sprinkler with them.

Drinking with both tiger paws on is always a good call.

LSU won shortly after this last picture was taken. We were unable to see the actually win because the tailgate we were ate had rented their huge flat screen tvs, and the rental company picked them up 5 minutes before the game was over. But that just meant we were on the streets early to play with the Buckeyes. The loss of my toenail did not diminish my ability to have fun at all...although, I seriously considered walking around Bourbon St. barefoot...

Santa Pub Crawl

Tommy and I made a game time decision to drive to Dallas at the last minute to celebrate Tiffany's 27th Birthday. Her husband had lovelingly organized a Santa Pub Crawl through downtown bars. Brock wanted us to all wear Santa costumes, but upon shopping for ours, we determined that Santa costumes do not come cheap. In fact, the cheapest ones were about $50. Ouch. Being the creative cheapskates that we are, we decided that we could do better than a Santa costume for significantly cheaper. Enter the UHaul box...which was easily transformed into a present that was made for us!!

We joined the party at the Gingerman wearing our fabulous costumes. Other than the fact that i couldn't put my arms down all the way, the box was surprisingly comfy. It was also a magnet for the opposite sex. If you don't believe me, try it. Cut the arms out of a box and wear it around all night...I bet you get at least 5 phone numbers. I fully recommend this to all my single friends out there. I'm telling you, it works. Tommy's box was stolen (that's how popular they were) and I had to ditch mine in the shrubberies so I could fit in Katey's car for the trip home.

Nonetheless, this is what our Christmas card will look like next year...

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

At least it's not me this time...

Tommy is an idiot. Hahahaha. Someone else is on my wagon now!

Tommy got a new job (which are very excited about!) and spent a good deal of time last week trying to transfer files off his work computer and get all the essential documents together for his departure. On Monday, when I, the ever dedicated employee, came to work, he worked on this file transfer for most of the morning. Well, he worked until his computer crashed.

Normally when computers crash, you just get the scary blue screen and then everytime you try to reboot, it lets you try to start it in safe mode, but of course that feature never works. Well, when Tommy tried to reboot, all that came up on the screen was "Operating System Not Found". Um, that CAN'T be good.

What does "Operating System Not Found" mean?? I mean, the computer is still there, so where did the operating systerm go? Nonetheless, it seemed very tragic for TB's computer.

BUT, when he took it to the IT guru's this morning, they found that a screw had just loosened a little and disconnected the hard drive. So, with the help of a phillips head screwdriver, the operating system was found.

Way to go TB. Way to go!