Monday, January 16, 2006


The marathon is finally over. I can have my Friday nights back. Single girls need their Friday nights.

The race was AWESOME. I had a great time (until mile 20 when I just wanted to kill myself). I haven't decided if I will run another one - but it was worth all the blood, sweat and tears. My running buddy, Lanette, and I had a goal time of 4:40 - which averages about a 10:45 minute mile. But we decided we would be totally happy with anything under 5 hours. We started off slowly and had every intention of speeding up - don't know why we thought we could pull off the negative split this time - we've never been able to do it before. But, I digress...we started off around 11 min pace, then we tried to get ahead of schedule around mile 3.

The race started badly - Lanette left her fuel belt in the car and I lost 3 of my gu's (my carbo gels) within 300 yards of the start line. I thought the girl behind me had kicked me, so I gave her death stare (I have a GREAT death stare), but then I felt bad becuase it turns out, it was just my gels falling out my shorts and onto my leg. That stupid bitch. I was able to go back and get one, but I couldnt find the other 2. I figured I could get my "Support Team" to stop by the store and get more for me. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday, and nothing is open on Sundays. Ugh.

We ran into her husband at mile 5 - he gave us her fuel belt that had HER gels in it, but of course, not mine. We run into my parents, and friends at mile 6ish right on schedule - thank you sooo much everyone for being there (Lindsey, Erik, Gilmore, Natalie, Micah and Vince). You made it so much easier and enjoyable! Lanette and I kept on truckin'. Picked up the pace a little - needed to get a little ahead of schedule.

I have to pee - I ALWAYS have to pee at a race. No one knows why. But all the port-a-potties have lines and I am not about to waste valuable time peeing when I could be running. So I held it until the half marathoners turned around at mile 9. Actually, I held it till mile 13, when I took my first crap in a port-a-potty. Ever hovered while poo-ing? It's rough. But I did it! Anyways, back to mile 9...we pass a catholic church, where I, a Methodist, took communion and was splashed with holy water. Hysterical. Those cathlics love their booze and so do I. Elvis passes us and we get pissed, so we speed up. Pace is going well. Then "The Stomper" is behind us - you know the stomper, the guy who always steps just a little too hard? That CAN'T be good for his knees. He passes us too. Man, we are slow. We got some quality drugs from a strange lady on the side of the road (our knees hurt) and off we went...

Mile 13, I take my first hovering crap - fantastic. Meet the friends and fam again - they are great support. At mile 15 there is a HUGE hill. When I say huge, I mean bigger than Mount Killamangaro (sp?). Freaking huge. Up and down. Left right left right left right. Round the corner, and to the Galleria we go. Take some drugs, but from a reputable source this time - thanks Gaye! Kate and Janelle are waiting for us at mile 17 - they join in the race. They are looking so fresh and nice - really made me and Lanette look like crap. Haha. We just let them chatter around us - cause we have talked ourselves out. Pass the support team at mile 18 - stock up on oranges - I am pretty sure there is some quality video footage of me at this point. Scary. Kate and Janelle leave us at mile 19 at the Dow water station - got some support there - thanks Rumaldo, Allan, and Lisa!

We were having a great time until shortly after we go under the 610 underpass...Lanette needs to walk - I am exhausted, so I agree. We walk, and then she says she needs to stretch - so we stop and stretch. Then she says she can't finish. WHAT?? So, off I go - alone. I hit "the wall" shortly after that. My body completely shut down - my legs hurt, my body hurts, my brain hurts, etc. And my running buddy was gone. I make it to mile 21 - where the budwieser truck is - and I chug a beer. Somehow, that made everthing okay. Hi, my name is Christy and I think I might be an alcoholic.

I see my crew shortly after that, and I lose it. I am just about drained of everything I have, and I teared up a bit. I guess they felt sorry for me, cause Erik caught up with me not too long after that. Luckily, he was wearing running shoes with his cargo shorts. He didn't really fit in, but I appreciated every bit of anyway. We round the corner off Shepherd and Allen, and this lady says the water stop is right up ahead. What the fuck was she talking about? It was way the fuck up there. Fuck fuck fuck. At this point, I am tired and don't have many non-curse words in my brain. We get to mile 23 and Ed is there - he joins the Christy Bandwagon. We walked for a bit to work out a calf cramp, but when we saw the photographers we had to run again - don't wanna be walking in my pics! But then we walked again right after. Haha. But, with Erik and Ed, I was able to finish that race in 4:53:25. If they hadn't been there, I might have totally missed my 5 hour time limit.

We rounded the last corner, and they peeled off to let me finish. I could see the finish line, so I kicked it up a notch...what I didn't realize was that the finish line was fucking far away. Far away. So I had to bring it back down. But once it was within reach, I picked it up and brought it home.

Running this marathon is definately the most rewarding thing I have ever done - mostly because it was the first thing I did all by myself, for myself, totally on my own. It was amazing. I couldn't have done it without the support of my friends and family - thanks guys. You were there with me for such an awesome day!! I am so happy I could share with you!

Crossing that finish line was an incredible feeling. And floating my first keg was even better. And then almost floating the keg that Frank brought over was good too. So, uh, there is some DosXX in my backyard if you want some. I think I still have stuff for s'mores too. Come on over!!

Thanks guys - you helped make this experience so awesome. And now it is over. Thank God.

Chip time 4:53:25
Overall place: 3828/5500
Female place: 1200/3000
Age group (20-24 - young effers): 208/283

Thursday, January 12, 2006


3 days till the marathon. I can't wait. I don't normally write about anything serious, but I had to mention this. Sorry. I got this quote today in my marathon newletter - I am tool - yes, I know. Anyways,

"The marathon is a charismatic event. It has everything. It has drama. It has competition. it has comaraderie. It has heroism. Every jogger can't dream of being an Olympic champion, but he can dream of finishing a marathon." - Fred Lebow

And you guys KNOW how I cry when large groups of people come together for a common goal. I am pretty sure I will be the poofy red eyed runner on the race track. Great. As long as there aren't any children singing, I might be able to calm down a little. The Star Spangled Banner at the beginning is sure to do me in though.

But seriously, I am ready to get my social life back - I haven't been out on a Friday night in 27 weeks. Next Friday is not only pay day but my first free Friday in 6 months. Who's with me? This has been an awesome training experience - hopefully the race goes as well!! My foot hasn't bothered me in a week - just keep me in your thoughts while I run in the sweltering heat on Sunday morning. Awesome!

I can't wait!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Yo IPC! Yea, you know me!

My pal, Benny and I were talking the other night...discussing a number of things, but one item in particular stood out for me.

Ben lives in Seattle and I see him once a year at Christmas, and therefore our friendship is based solely on phone conversation. His girlfriend is often around when we are talking on the phone. He typically calls me 'man' or 'dude' or some other slang generally used to reference the male specie. This apparently bothers said girlfriend. Why? I have no idea.

But Ben's response to this was that I wasn't just a girl. I was a member of the IPC. Imaginary Penis Club. I can only assume that this means that I have an imaginary wiener. I hope that I use my fake wienie for good and not evil.

I seriously don't know why I am single.