Moving.

Tommy and I are attempting to buy a house. It would appear that if you are a dipshit, buying a house is easy (I'm basing this entirely on the number of foreclosures around the nation) and if you are trying to be smart, they pretty much try to stick things up your a$$ every chance they get. So, buying a house is hard and my ass hurts.

We are supposed to close tomorrow, but then again, we were supposed to close last week too, so, I'm not counting on much these days. We will see. My fingers are crossed and they have been for a looooong time.

I am really excited about moving into a house that isn't a piece of crap since that's all I've ever lived in my entire adult life. I have lived in 11 different places in the last 9 years...6 of those places have been in the last 4 years. That's just wrong.

1. August 1999-December 1999
Freshman Year
I shared a dorm room in Haas Hall with Emily. As it turns out, this was also the lesbian basketball player dorm. We were two of the few who didn't play sports and didn't prefer women. This dorm also had a very strange smell.

2. January 2000-May 2000
Freshman Year
I shared a VERY small dorm with this crazy girl named Kim. She would disappear for weeks and steal my clothes and my credit cards. She was awesome. I think she also used to hide under her bed so I wouldn't know she was there. Seriously. Creepy.

3. May 2000-August 2000
Freshman Summer
Moved back home with my parents for the summer because they wanted to torture me. Apparently I was bad enough that they requested that I never move back home. My plan was genius.


4. August 2000-August 2001
Sophomore Year
My first apartment was with Sara, Julienne and Kristin. Sara and Kristin shared a room and I had the cool converted living room so I had my own front door. I shared a bathroom with Julienne who also turned out to be a crazy girl. This place was a dump - http://www.poloclubapartments.net You know a place is good when they only pictures they show is the front office...and even that is scary. I once saw a man jerking off at the swimming pool. I'm telling you, this place was disgusting. BUT, it was my first apartment. I loved it.

5. August 2001-August 2002
Junior Year
Sara and I moved to a three bedroom apartment with her friend Jessica. This was the nicest place I have ever lived, other than the corporate apartment Dow gave me when I interned. This living situation just wasn't good for reasons that I can no longer remember, but it was drama at the time.

6. August 2002-August 2004
Senior and Second Senior Years
Due to the Drama at the previous apartment, I decided to go it alone and get my own place. This place was probably the worst of all the places and I am actually quite embarressed that I spent so long in a 400sq ft one room apartment. But since I was no longer splitting rents, I had to make ends meet. The Doux Chene...http://www.dcapts.com/ Once again, you KNOW it's good when they don't actually show any pictures. I painted a wall hot pink once and was too lazy to repaint...seriosly. Surprisingly though, I was very happy here and only have good memories...despite the blue carpet and hot pink wall. The place was so small I could open the fridge from my bed. There are some very specific reasons why I gained so much wieght in college...

During my time at the Doux Chene, I relocated to Houston for an internship, but since that apartment was furnished and I didn't have to lift a couch, I don't consider it a real move. I left all my stuff at the Blue Douche for the summer and came home 3 months later.

7. May 2004-November 2004
1st Few Months Out of College
I relocated to Houston after graudation and found a lovely little one bedroom that me and my giant mutt quickly outgrew. After a few months I realized that when the SPCA said he would be 35 pounds, they really meant 70 pounds, and I was going to need a bigger place. I don't know why I am constantly drawn to ugly and gross apartments, but once again, the website doesn't actually show any pictures of the buildings. http://www.tanglewoodcourt.com/

8. November 2004-August 2005
I was able to upgrade to a 2 bedroom apartment at the same complex where the mutt and I could flourish. This apartment was ghetto, but bigger, so therefore slightly less ghetto?

9. August 2005-August 2006
Why I always insisted on moving in the hottest month of the year, I have no idea. But I was able to find a cute little one bedroom house to rent right next to Memorial Park. It was perfect for Don and I. We were able to run to the park and play and he had a yard and it was magical. That is, it was magical until my landlord broke in one day and rearranged my furniture and opened all my windows. That was pretty awesome. So, I moved out.

10. August 2006-December 2006
Natalie and I moved into a giant house together. This seemed like a great idea, but what we didn't realize was that this landlord was even creepier than my previous landlord and only rented the place to us because we were young girls. He didn't even do a credit check. Bizarre. Around December, I pretty much moved out and moved in with Tommy.

11. December 2006-August 2008
I moved into my man friends VERY small garage apartment in the Heights...which, surprisingly is one of the best living situations I have ever had. Up until our landlord got this AWFUL monster Yorkie dog. I have never wanted to kick a puppy so much in my entire life. We lived almost 2 blissful years there before we got antsy. Sharing 700 sq ft with another person and a giant dog isn't easy. Our bathroom was so small that I could sit on the toilet, rest my head on the sink and wash my feet in the tub at the same time. We didn't have heat at all and only had central AC. It didn't have much, but we loved it. We had a storage shed for all our junk and we made weekly trips there to trade out things. The good news was that we could clean the place from top to bottom in under 2 hours. Despite having been robbed while we were sleeping, we loved the neighborhood, the people, the location, pretty much everything. This is where we want to live forever. Siiiiiiiigh.

12. August 2008-November 2008
The garage apartment just got too small and we decided we wanted to upgrade our renting capabilities so we could save for a couple more years before buying our dream house. Sooo, we found a great little bungalow in Montrose, which is a little seedier, but in an excellent location. Within one week of living there, our neighbors got robbed. Awesome. At least it wasn't us. This house has pretty much been a disaster from the beginning to the end. The AC was broken when we moved in and out of the first 53 days we lived there, we only had AC for 24 of those days. The house is cursed and I am pretty sure someone died a brutal death there and is trying to haunt us to get us to leave. No prob bob. We broke our lease and are moving out by the 12th.

Which brings us to home #13. Lucky #13. We are supposed to close on a house tomorrow morning and move tomorrow afternoon. This will be the 13th time I have packed all my belongings and moved them in 9 years. That averages out to me moving every 251 days or approx every 8 months. This is a cost of about $500 per move, excluding deposits...and a total of $6000.

The worst part though is when I have to reset a password (or something) and they want me to confirm where I lived in May of 2002 and I have no freaking clue.

Wish us luck tomorrow. It's gonna be a doozy.

Typical

It was a typical week in our household, but lucky for me (and unlucky for Tommy), most of the bad crap happened to him. Regardless, it was an expensive week.

On Monday, Tommy hit a giant piece of wood on the highway - it flattened one of his tires. Let's remember that his car is not quite yet 2 months old.

On Tuesday, I went and got new glasses because I got drunk on Saturday and lost mine. Ooops.

On Thursday, Tommy got a speeding ticket on his way to work. This is especially ridiculous since the man drives like a grandpa and is highly addicted to his cruise control.

All in all, it was typical of us. We try to save money, and we end up dropping a grand in one week...and we have nothing to show for it. Awesome.

We did round out Thursday night with a fabulous evening at Sherlocks for Aggie Happy Hour. And we are moving into our new house next Monday...ouch. Here are some pics of the new place. We are moving into Gay Central, which is also known as Montrose. And our neighbors have a pool according to GoogleEarth...looks like I'll be trying to befriend them ASAP.


The front of the house


The living/dining room.

One of the major concerns was how will set up the living room to be the most conducive to Rock Band...?? The big questions in life always throw me too.

I CAN'T WAIT!!

2007

On the last day of this year, and in an effort to appear to be busy at work, I will take a few moments to review 2007, The Year of Yayyy!!

On December 25, 2006, Tommy asked my dad for permission to marry me. Dad said yes. I then spent the next 60 days waiting for a proposal. He is an exasperating man.

The first weekend in January, we went to New Orleans (well, Covington), for Tommy's nephew, Jacob's baptism, and the other nephew, Jackson's birthday. It was a big family event and my first attempt at fitting in...

On Jan 14, Tommy and I ran the Houston Marathon. I set a PR, albeit a poor one, but a PR nonetheless, of 4:43:09. Tommy beat his goal time of 4 hours, by finishing in 3:59:59. Quite impressive. Afterwards, we had our annual Post-Marathon Keg Party, where I, in traditional form, was unable to have fun, and Tommy proceeded to sprain his ankle. We spent the next day groaning in bed.

Since we bought far too much beer for the After Marathon Party, we had a Drink The Other Keg Party the next weekend. The highlight was Tommy dunking his ring...he didn't dunk it well, but he dunked it with gusto. In February, we spent a lot of time at St. Arnolds, drinking free beer, and FINALLY on February 23, Tommy proposed. Of course I said yes. Who could refuse this guy?? The next night, we went to the Starbucks Party at the Museum (which sounds lame, but is totally fun), and then met our friends out at The Marquee to say goodbye to TTiiffaannee. We miss her.

We started planning our wedding, which is very likely the most intimidating thing I have done thus far in life. But we planned it nonetheless.

March in Houston = RODEO, so we scored tickets to Rebe McIntire. We took the day off and played at the Rodeo...always big fun.

On April 15 we competed in our first Olympic Distance Triathlon - it is about a quarter of a full length Ironman. We swam 0.92 miles, biked 26 miles and ran 6.2 miles - it was a blast. Seriously, way better than a marathon. However, it was so cold at the start that I was crying hysterically. Hysterically. The temperature outside was about 42 degrees, and of course we were the only two who didn't have wetsuits. It was so cold outside that it was warmer in the water, so they had us start in the water so as to preempt any shock. Are you effing kidding me??

April 28th was the Celebration of Amanda's 25th birthday. In traditional Amanda style, she organized a fabulous theme party. Everyone dressed in high school attire - there were cheerleaders, nerds, football players, and I wore my cap and gown. I even passed out graduation announcements. We voted on Prom Queen and King and then headed out to the bars. We were the American Pie.

The first week in May, Tommy and I went to Scottsdale, AZ for a vacation. Lots of laying around and being vegetables (oh, and drinking). On day one, I got too drunk to play golf and/or even ride in the cart, so I passed out on the balcony of our hotel room while TB enjoyed his outing alone. Ooops. There were a bunch of girls at the pool that I really wanted to be friends with (i heart making vacation friends). Well, we ended up swapping magazines (some mailed catalogs, etc...). The next day at the pool, one of my girl crushes asks me if my name is Christy. I say, "Why yes, creepy girl crush. How do you know my name?" Apparently, my name and address were on the J Crew catalog I gave them the day before. And even more strange, Girl Crush Number 1 lives 2 houses down. Bizarre. Even more strange was when we got back to Houston, I ran into her at the grocery store. She was on the phone (apparently to one of my other Girl Crushes) and was said, "Oh my, it's Scottsdale girl". Hahaha.

We met our friends Gary and D in Austin for a race called the Muddy Buddy. You have a buddy, and the two of you alternate between biking and running - the highlight being the 200 foot mud it at the end. Well, the highlight could the mass shower at the end, but I guess it depends on your opnions. The day before the race, the four of us accidentally got wasted at the Gingerman in Austin and proceeded to have a food fight at Gatti's. To this day, I do not know how we didn't get kicked out.

Other things in May: I got 3 moles removed and apparently I am allergic to Latex because my entire back turned into one big terrible rash. We went on a double date with Kate and Keith to an Astros game. We got to start cake tastings. I found the most amazing wedding dress EVER. My lease finally ended with Raphael Perez aka The World's Most Creepiest Landlord. We went to NOLA for a friends wedding (most extravagant wedding I've ever seen) and while there went on a swamp tour.

In June, we went to a work Crawfish Boil in Sargent, Texas. The land of beautiful women and even more beautiful men. Catherine had a couple's shower and Hilary stayed with us and we got to catch up. Tommy's birthday and fathers day were spent in Dallas with the fam and went to dinner with Gary and D.

In July, the highlight was the fact that we were robbed, but other joyful events were Catherine and Nate's wedding in new Orleans. All of our girlfriends were there and we had a fabulous time on Boubon Street. After we got our security system in place, I went and met Tommy in Toronto and then the two of us made the trek to Niagara Falls.

August was a big month. My mom's friends threw me a bridal shower and I had my bachelorette party. The shower was fabulous and my bach party EVEN BETTER. We floated the river and gossiped that good girls do. All my ladies were there and we had a fabulous time - nice job Cathy!! Ed's birthday took us to Stages Theater to see a one-man play called Late Nite Catechism which was HYSTERICAL, and I'm not even Catholic.

September started recruiting at work, big long training runs, Aggie Football, and my wedding dress arrived!! Kristin and Eric got hitched - their wedding was a blast, despite the lack of AC. My friends built an Aggie Tailgating Machine, called Bus 42, and we made the trek to CS several times to enjoy it. The end of September brought us to Wehner Weekend and a couple's shower for us. My parents came in and we did lots of drinking...ow.

In October, I sprained my ankle, which basically means I hated life, but that can be observed more in these few blogs. I didn't eat, I didn't drink and the wedding was one month away. I think I was very pleasant to be around. Ha.

In November, Tommy and I finally got married. I feel so lucky to have married my best friend and that he is willing to put with me. It's not a small feat. Afterwards, we went to the Carribbean for our honeymoon, which was equally fabulous. So You Think You Can Dance came through on tour and Tommy, being the fabulous man that he is to, took me. We were the oldest people in the audience without kids. Then of course, it was Thanksgiving.

November 30-Dec 1, was the greatest weekend EVER. On Friday night, we played in a Flip Cup Tournament hosted by Shady Tavern and organized by my dear pal FraFra. Our team was Dude, Where's My Bike? and we dressed as mormons. Unfortunately, as mormons are wont to do, we lost the tournament. Tragic. On Saturday, we went to Dallas for Tiffany's birthday aka Santa Pub Crawl. Brock wanted us all to wear SAnta costumes, but those were too expensive for TB and I, so we wrapped ourselves in Christmas paper and went as presents. If you are single (or taken) and want to get laid, wrap yourself in Christmas paper - seriously, it was th ebest man magnet I have ever had.

And that brings us to December...Cathy graduated from tu, we had a Bad Santa Christmas Party, my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, and then we went to Dallas for the holidays. In Dallas, I got to see my friend Ben, who I never get to see and hopefully I convinved him to move to the Greater Texas Area. We hung out with Gilmore and Sara, Paige and Zach, Emily and her family, Gary and D, The Elliots, Amanda, and then rounded out the week with a trip to San Antionio to watch the Aggies lose at the Alamo Bowl with my Wehner pals.

Now, on the last day of the year, I am at work, wishing I had slept later, nursing a somewhat painful hangover, about to leave to prepare for a night of fun and games with Edwardo.

Thanks to all my friends and family - you guys have loved me and supported me through a lot this year. You are all appreciated more than you know. I heart you all.

So sum up my anger on this day, view the email exchange from Tommy and I shown here. Some background:

• Aetna is my medical insurance provider - they suck for not being able to actually fill precriptions.
• Celso Garcia is our new ADT security salesman - he sucks for being a totally incompetent at what he does.
• Burnie is the man who broke into our house (his name has been changed due to a lack of actually knowing his name) - he sucks because he is he broke into our house without my permission.
• Cats are evil.
• Velveeta cheese is wrong. American cheese is also wrong. Bleu and feta tie in their wrongness.
• Karl is my creepy old landlord who came into my house and rearranged my furniture.
• Ralph (Perez) is my other creepy landlord who bathes at BurgerKing and thinks that 'debris' is spelled 'dupree'. He is just an effing idiot.
• Toyotaman is the Toyota dealership that is changing the locks on Tommy's car - they have to order parts from Nigeria and have slaves strap the pieces to their backs and swim through the gulf to bring them here. It is estimated to take 4 weeks.

-----Original Message-----
From: Tommy tommy@home.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 3:14 PM
To: Christy (CM)
Subject: Re: pension

Not cats? And velveeta?


-----Original Message-----
From: "Christy (CM)" christy@work.com
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:02:59
To:Tommy tommy@home.com
Subject: RE: pension

Oh, and also my old landlord Karl. And Aetna. And mosquitos and bug repellant.

Christy

----------------
From: Tommy tommy@home.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 3:00 PM
To: Christy (CM)
Subject: Re: pension

Hahahaha. That's so much hate!

On 7/18/07, Christy (CM) Christy@work.com wrote:

Awesome. I hate Toyota and Allstate and Celso. And Ralph. And Liberty Mutual and Burnie. And all customer service people.
Christy

----------------
From: Tommy [mailto:tommy@homte.com]
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:34 PM
To: Christy (CM)
Subject: Re: pension

No word from Celso. And the effers already have taken my car apart, just waiting on the one part to come in. So I cant cancel. Toyotaman is checking status and calling me back.

On 7/18/07, Christy (CM) mailto:Christy@work.comwrote:
silly. I hate it. you know what else I hate? Celso Garcia's and Allstates. Did you ever hear back from Celso?

Christy

Humiliate good times. Come on!

(sung to the tune of 'Celebration')

So, on Sunday, my plan was to sit outside in the privacy of my backyard in my swim suit, get a tan and read my book. As most girls know, when tanning alone in your backyard, you wear the smallest, most out of style suit that shows the most skin so you can get maximum tanning coverage. So, I am wearing a very scary, very small, bikini. I step out of my house, book in one hand, water bottle in the other, and shut the door.

Ooops. I locked myself out. Are you freaking kidding me? Luckily, my landlord lives 3 houses down. Unluckily, there are 5 houses being built across the street and my neighborhood is littered with construction workers. Having no choice, I trot my scantily clad and very scary self down to the landlords house. Well, mister landlord (Karl) has his house fenced in, like mine, but unlike mine, you can't open a gate and get to the front door. So I am standing in the middle of the road, yelling, "Karl! Karl! Maria! Karl Maria!! Karl Karl Karl!! After about 5 minutes of my screaming and construction workers hollering, Karl came outside.

I essplained the situation. I told him I was humiliated and could he please give me his spare key. He said, yea sure. Then he just wanted to sit around and chit chat. Oh yea, sure Karl, I would love to sit around and have some girl talk with you while I stand in the road in my barely-there bikini. I can think of nothing more exciting.

He finally gets the key. I trot back to my house and unlock the doors. End of story.

How does this crap happen to me? I had to buy a wrangler just I couldn't lock myself out of my car. How pathetic. It was definately the most humiliating thing that has happened so far this week. 4.5 more days to go. Oh gosh.