Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Humiliate good times. Come on!

(sung to the tune of 'Celebration')

So, on Sunday, my plan was to sit outside in the privacy of my backyard in my swim suit, get a tan and read my book. As most girls know, when tanning alone in your backyard, you wear the smallest, most out of style suit that shows the most skin so you can get maximum tanning coverage. So, I am wearing a very scary, very small, bikini. I step out of my house, book in one hand, water bottle in the other, and shut the door.

Ooops. I locked myself out. Are you freaking kidding me? Luckily, my landlord lives 3 houses down. Unluckily, there are 5 houses being built across the street and my neighborhood is littered with construction workers. Having no choice, I trot my scantily clad and very scary self down to the landlords house. Well, mister landlord (Karl) has his house fenced in, like mine, but unlike mine, you can't open a gate and get to the front door. So I am standing in the middle of the road, yelling, "Karl! Karl! Maria! Karl Maria!! Karl Karl Karl!! After about 5 minutes of my screaming and construction workers hollering, Karl came outside.

I essplained the situation. I told him I was humiliated and could he please give me his spare key. He said, yea sure. Then he just wanted to sit around and chit chat. Oh yea, sure Karl, I would love to sit around and have some girl talk with you while I stand in the road in my barely-there bikini. I can think of nothing more exciting.

He finally gets the key. I trot back to my house and unlock the doors. End of story.

How does this crap happen to me? I had to buy a wrangler just I couldn't lock myself out of my car. How pathetic. It was definately the most humiliating thing that has happened so far this week. 4.5 more days to go. Oh gosh.


30-Something Girl said...

Caught your post while blog surfing. This would so happen to me to. After I got done laughing, I thought I'd try and make you feel slightly better...

Billy D. said...

NICE! CB, that's awesome! You should've called me, I would arrived on the scene with camera in hand! haha!

We're going to the pool on sunday, bring your skimpy suit!