Thursday, March 10, 2011

She's Baaaaack!

Okay, Debbie Downer is gone. She has been replaced with her more rested sister I Finally Feel Like a Human Again Christy. Thank the lord. Now, to reach this rested state, I had to drug myself, go to bed at 8PM and lay in bed until 7AM, but I feel human. Maybe, just MAYBE, I will eat lunch with my co-workers instead of napping in the backseat of my car. [gasp!]

I have given up cursing for Lent. I give up cursing every year for Lent, but since I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE cursing, it's never stuck. I'm moderately hoping it sticks this time since we have a little monster on the way, but I can't teach her what NOT to say unless she learns the words, eh? Let's be honest, there is no better way to express your frustration than the F word. Oh, how I love it and it's many different meanings.

I definitely weigh more than Tommy. This makes me want to curse.

My biggest pet peeve in the world is when people sing or hum in public places. I.e. in gym locker rooms, elevators, grocery stores, etc...DUDE, I don't care if you are Celine F-word Dion, shut the hell up. Sidenote: Hell is not a bad word. My child will not be allowed to say it, but that's the beauty of me being the parent and her being the child. I get full authority on language restriction.

I did not get a single slice of king cake this year. I still can't believe it.

I am counting the down the days (2) until I get to run/walk in the great outdoors. Tommy and I have plans, weather pending, to spend most of my birthday afternoon walking the park. I CANNOT wait. I think it will do wonders for my morale. (I'm tearing up just thinking about it...) And then we will come home and eat the delicious Kroger Cupcake Cake he is supposed to buy me. I don't care what you say, Kroger has the best cupcakes EVER. Had I known of their deliciousness earlier in my life, I would have had a grocery store made wedding cake. Seriously. Crave and Sprinkles and whatever don't have nothin' on Kroger.

And without further ado and because my life is boring, the ABC's of me:

(A) Age: 29...until Sunday when I hit the Dirty Thirty!

(B) Bed Size: KING. We slept on my full sized bed when we were dating (not that we slept in the same bed while we were dating mom, promise) and I have no idea how we fit. Especially now. I can only assume that all other pregnant women who sleep in smaller beds must have their husbands sleep on the couch.

(C) Chore You Hate: Taking the trash to the street. HATE IT. But I also hate folding laundry (I will go wrinkly before I will fold) and I hate washing dishes (that's what dish washers are for!)

(D) Dogs?: LOVE THEM! If Anna is allergic, we may have to send her to live with someone else. Donny the Newfie (8ish years old) and Dixie the Great Pyrenees Monster (1 year-ish)

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Nothing really. I'm a morning person. Once you get me out of bed, I'm usually good to go. (I also haven't stayed awake until midnight since like 4th grade when I was afraid they would freeze my underwear if I feel asleep first. I quickly realized that frozen underwear will eventually de-thaw and be just fine...and I haven't stayed awake that late ever again.)

(F) Favorite Color: It depends on my mood, but in general, fushia (I think there is a C somewhere in the spelling of fushia), all shades of green and brown.

(G) Gold or Silver? GOLD. Always gold.

(H) Height: 5'6" or 5'7" - ish. But I rarely leave the house in less than 3" heels, so most people think I am a little taller than that. Ha. So sneaky!

(I) Instruments You Play: I can rock it out on the Rock Band Drums, but beyond that, my musical talent is pretty much zilch.

(J) Job Title: Supply Chain Planner (sounds exciting, eh?)

(K) Kids: They are a necessity for the continuation of this specie. Ha. I am 8 months pregnant so I am supposed to say I love kids and babies and yayyy! But in reality, I LOVE my friends kids and my friends babies, but I do not love random babies at the mall and I do not love strange kids who want to make faces at me over my booth at a restaurant. I will love Anna with all my heart and I CANNOT wait for her to get here...but I do not think random babies are cute.

(L) Live: Texas, ya'll. My only complaint is that when ordering something online, when I go to put in my state and press "T" to get to the T states, I have to scroll down one (stupid Tennessee and its superior spelling). I'm probably never leaving.

(M) Mom's Name: Candy. And no, she isn't a stripper. At least I don't think she is.

(N) Nicknames: CBenne, Bennett, Ben, BenBen...and of course, Christy.

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? None...yet. I'm really shooting for one in my very near future though!

(P) Pet Peeve: People who sing in public places. But since I already mentioned that, my second pet peeve is people in the locker room who want to be my naked friends. You can be naked or we can chat...we cannot do both at the same time. AND FOR GODSAKE, THE AUTOMATIC HANDDRYER IS NOT INTENDED TO DRY YOUR BUTTHOLE.

(Q) Quote from a Movie: "You lock it up. No you lock it up. Lock it up. Lock it up." Wedding Crashers. Tommy and I probably say this at least once a day. It relates to everything.

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right, but I got pretty good with my left in high school when I used to fear breaking my right hand and being stuck with only my left (my dad's favorite quote is "paranoid is a good way to be when everyone is out to get ya"...I don't know where I get it). I'm not ambidextrous by any means, but I can get the job done.

(S) Siblings: 1 Sister - Cathy and 1 Sisdog - Belle.

(T) Time You Wake Up? Pre-pregnancy - 4:30AM on the dot, 6 days a week, no ifs, ands or buts. During pregnancy - 4:30AM, with a little snoozy snooze, or sometimes 7AM. Depending on my mood. Today, it was a solid a little snoozing.

(U) Underwear: It believe in its existence.

(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Cooked carrots. [gagging]

(W) What Makes You Run Late: Not much. I'm rarely late. But if I am, it's because I overscheduled myself...ooops.

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: I'm a paranoid athlete, so most everything...teeth, ears, knees, feet, ankles, hips, shoulders...

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Homemade mac and cheese. Let's be honest, I have a lot of skills, but cooking is sooo not one of them.

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Bears! I just want to cuddle them!


Pam said...

But locker rooms have such good acoustics!!!

F-word - agreed. It just really helps you get your point across.

A - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Thirties rock.

E - Is de-thaw a word? If something de-thaws, isn't that the same as refreezing? :P

L - HA! SUCK IT! (From a native Tennessean who loves being able to type the T and then tab to the next

Love and Puppies, Christy said...

Pam - The only reason I let you get away with these comments is because we are BFF. But valid point on the de-thawing. Hahaha.

Pam said...

hahaha I think we really are long-lost BFFs! I need a BFF who gets my smartassery. I think you would fit the bill just fine. lol

Catherine said...

I am a bit offended there was no mention whatsoever of Truffle.