Houston. The Land That I Love.

There was a stray dog in our yard last night. It was a puppy, cute, whatever, but it didn't have tags and it was barking at us and I didn't want Donny the Dog to get any wierd diseases. Anyways, I called Animal Control, but they only work normal business hours. So, I called the police - they told me to shoot it.

Awesome.

UPDATE!!

UPDATE to this story...

Yesterdays story concluded in me having a phone conversation with Leslie, a guy I dated once, and me uninviting him to a party. During this phone conversation, he acted like he was still planning on attending the party (that he wasn't technically invited to). My response was, "I hate to be rude, but I really think it might be wierd if you came to the party - it's a small thing with a few close friends, etc..." I was pretty sure I had gotten my point across and that he understood that he was no longer invited. Apparently not. Me talk big words.

I took him off the evite, and assumed that all was well with the world.

When I got home last night, I looked him up on myspace, just to see if I could remember this former suitor (I did...vaguely). Somewhat a strange fellow, but all in all a decent guy. I also checked my email - this was in my inbox from my new pal Leslie:

From Leslie to me:

Hey, so I've thought about this a bit, and decided that it would be rather in-appropriate for me to come to your party, and somewhat awkward, so I wont be coming. Nevermind the fact that the invitation wasn't nessisarially directed to me personally :) Anyways, it was good to talk to you, and I hope all is well, Congrats on getting married by the way, thats awesome!

Leslie

**Now, in addition to his ATROCIOUS spelling, he has just proven himself to be the most dense individual in the world. But, the good news is that he won't be coming to the party.

Who IS This??

Long introduction to a story:

I have a friend named Leslie Smith (name has been changed) who I have known for the better part of my life. We were great friends growing up, through elementary and middle school, but lost touch in high school, and didn't really talk at all during college or after. Our parents are great friends still and see each other at least once a week at church. I have kept up with Leslie's goings ons via their gossip. I know she moved to Houston after college, went to law school, graduated and married a man who lives here. We had dinner once, about 2 years ago, and it was fun, but once again, we just lost touch.

She and her family came to the wedding - it was great to see her again and catch up (as much as you can actually "catch up" at a wedding). We discovered that she actually works about 2 blocks from our house and we decided that we should get together.

Tommy and I are having a Christmas party in a few weeks - there is so much alcohol left over from said wedding, and what better way to get rid of some of it! I wanted to invite Leslie and husband, so I emailed the email address I have with the Evite. When you send an evite you can tell who has opened their evites or not, and I noticed that in 2 weeks, Leslie had not opened hers.

I have her phone number, so I thought I would text her and ask her for her email address. The conversation went like this:

Me: What's your email address? We are having a Christmas party...
Leslie: A Christmas party? Yay!! It's Leslie@Gonzalescomputer.com How's your Thanksgiving?
Me: Good, just puttering. Did you go to Dallas?
Leslie: Sounds like fun. No, I came to San Antonio.
Me: Yeah - we stayed home to try to clean our post wedding house. Haha. I'll send you the evite later. We need to hang out soon!
Leslie: Ok, awesome. Send me the evite...and yes, we do need to hang out.
Me: Yayy! Happy Thanksgiving!
Leslie: You too! :)

Okay, there were a few things that confused me in this conversation, but I didn't think much of it.
Number 1: Leslie is from Dallas, but I thought maybe her husband was from San Antonio, although I had always thought he was from Houston.
Number 2: She has a law degree and I knew she just got a new job at a law firm - why would she have a @gonzalescomputer.com email address? But I thought maybe her hubby was a big techie nerd and had his own webspace, etc...

So, I got home later that day and sent the evite to leslie@gonzalescomputer.com. Yesterday, Leslie RSVP'd to the evite with comments. Now, while I looooove it when people RSVP, this one was a bit strange.

Leslie's paraphrased response:
Free booze on the night of my last final of the semester? WAHOO! I'm in! And I may bring a few crackheads to come and steal all your wedding gifts!

Leslie Smith is a reserved character - when I knew her she was a quiet girl, who spent most of her time with her nose in a book. I don't think much changed, seeing as how she actually graduated law school. The Evite response triggered a little more than a nagging in the back of my head. Oh, and as far as I knew, Leslie had graduated law school over a year ago...and I headn't heard anything about her going back.

I thought it might be best to verify via email with Leslie that she was in fact my friend. I did this nochalantely at first, but eventually had to come right out and ask...here is our email exchange:

Christy to Leslie:

Did you get the evite? I thought you were done with school? I'm very confused!! Anyways, since you work down the street now, we should get happy hour sometime - we pretty much live at Onion Creek!

Hope Thanksgiving was great!

Leslie to Christy:

Yea, I got it, I responded and I might bring a friend or two if thats ok. And YES, i love happy hours! ;) so just let me know whenever if you want to get together after work sometime.

Talk to ya soon!
Leslie

**Comments from Christy: I knew at this point that something was wierd. She didn't mention the fact that it appears that she went back to school and doesnt acknowledge my offer of Onion Creek...if you are anywhere near our 'hood, you loooove Onion Creek.

Christy to Leslie:

Who is this? I think I have the wrong friend...

**At this point, I figure out that something has gone terribly wrong with my eviting.

I call Leslie, well, I call the number for Leslie Smith that I have in my phone - and no one picks up. It goes straight to voicemail. The voicemail is a MALE. He says, "This is Leslie Gonzales, I am unable to answer your call right now, leave a message, etc...". Leslie is a BOY! At this point, I freak out a little, as he had previously stated that he will be bringing crackheads to our Christmas party to steal all our presents.

I respond to him with this email:

Christy to Leslie:

Yeah, I am pretty sure I have the wrong friend, as I dont believe I know any males named Leslie. Somehow your name got messed up in my phone book with an old girl friend of mine named Leslie as well. I am guessing you don't actually know me, right?

**I freak out and start cyber stalking Leslie Gonzales as much as I can. I also proceed to stalk Tommy via any method available...he liked it. Since Tommy was MIA, Brandie was my confidante. At her desk, we determine that the phone number is a San Antonio based number, but this doesn't do us much good because no one actually has a local number anymore. Gonzales Computing Systems is a small business computer solution company based in San Antionio, and owned by someone who is likely Leslie's father (same last name and older...coincidence?), and that Leslie Gonzales does in fact work for them...but they have an office in Houston, so he could work there. There aren't specifics. I am RACKING my brain trying to think of Leslie's, but I have no idea who this person is.

All we can think of is there are 4 reasons a person would accept an evite from someone they don't know:

1. They are psychotic and want to come to the party so they can kill everyone.
2. They are psychotic and want to break in and steal all our wedding gifts.
3. They are bored and actually want to come to the party where they know no one.
4. They thought it would be funny to respond and have no intention of coming.

Odds are that Leslie is a nice guy, but its hard to know from his voicemail box recording.

Luckily, he calls me back. He says he was in the bathroom when I called - sorry. I say, "We don't actually know each other, do we?" He says that my number was in his phone, but he doesn't know who I am either. Okay, at this point, things are just so wierd. I have a man's number in my phone, under a similar name, and that person just so happens to have my number as well? Wierd wierd wierd. Anyways, I ask him what name the number was under and he says Christy Maiden Last Name. Since there was no way for him to have known my maiden name, I believe him - all evites and such were sent out under my new email address. Things are getting wierder and wierder. We discuss a few things, while trying to figure out who we are, since are obviously great friends of olde. Ha.

Anyway, I finally ask him if we went on a date a couple of years ago.
He says, "Maybe?"
I say, "Do you have dark hair?"
He says, "Yes."
I say, "Did we maybe meet up at Front Porch?"
He says, "Do you have light brown hair?"
I say, "Yes."
He says, "Then yes, I think we did."

Hahahahaha. At this point, I am just baffled at how this could have happened. He kind of indicates that he would still like to come to the party, but frankly, that kind of wierds me out, so I tried to uninvite him as nicely as I could. I'm not sure univiting people is EVER nice, but I tried. If I remember correctly, he was a nice guy, but we just didn't hit it off, so he isn't crazy or anything, so if he showed up, it wouldn't be tragic, just kind of odd. Maybe he is the soulmate of one of my gal pals!! Hahaha.

This story has a point: be careful when you use Evite. That thing could be dangerous!!

El Honeymoon-o

When we were planning our honeymoon, I requested 1 thing: a beach to relax on - preferably with water that wasn't gross like Galveston, but that was negotiable. And that's how we ended up in Curacao. Curacao is near Aruba, just off the coast of Venezuala (South America)...it's far.

You've never heard of the island, and probably didn't know it was an island, but you have probably heard of the liquor Blue Curacao. As we found out relatively early on, Blue Curacao is just a color...the liquor comes in all colors of the rainbow, and it all tastes the same. Apparently the blue one just marketed better in America. We never drank it.

We decided to rent a car for the week, just to make our lives more enjoyable. I requested a Jeep or a convertible - I wanted to feel the breeze blowing through my hair (we used to have a jeep and now I am going through withdrawls). Well, Tommy looked at Hertz, Budget, Avis, etc...none of them had Jeeps or convertibles. After a long search, he finally found Michel's Car Rental (we still debate as to whether it was Michael or Michelle, but whatever) - Michel's Car Rental has Jeeps! WHOA! And by Jeep, they mean Suzuki Jimny. And by Suzuki Jimny, they mean they haven't replaced any of the parts on the car since 1992 because Suzuki stopped making the car (for good reason) and they can't.

Well, upon walking up to our car, a lovely little red number, the lady tells us that a lot of the parts are messed up because they stopped making the car...yes, we can tell. The inside is rusted, the outside is rusted...there isn't AC, radio or even a clock. We take the tour of the car, so she can mark any damages. This took a long time. There aren't windows the back of the car - only the roof, and the roof on the front doesn't actually clasp shut (this is okay for us since we plan on keeping it down...unless it rains...which it did and we had to hold the roof shut while driving). The driver side window doesn't roll up all the way, but at least it rolls up. The passenger side window didn't have a crank on it. The crank lives in the glovebox. If you want to roll down the window, you have to take the crank out of the glovebox, snap it on, roll down the window, take off the crank and put it back. I had to do this regularly because there was also no handle to open the door from the inside of the car. I had to unroll the window (remove crank from glovebox and install), then reach my arm out the window to let myself out. The steering wheel rattled when going over about 30 miles an hour and I pretty much feared for my life the whole time. Surprisingly, the car survived the trip. I included before and after pictures for your viewing pleasure.

After picking up our rental car, we attempted to drive to the hotel. The island is small and there are really only 2 main roads, but since none of the roads (main ones or otherwise) are named and therefore are unnamed on the map, it was difficult. All we had was a schematic to get us from the airport to the hotel. Eventually we found our way.

The hotel was really nice - open air lobby and fabulous fountain. Our hotel room was fantastic - we had two balconies, one of which was about 10 feet from the water. This is our view...I'm not zoomed in, that's just how close we were.

View from our hotel room.

The view was amazing. The water was gorgeous and so clear. We spent our first day relaxing at the hotel - the beach was fabulous and pretty empty. We drank champagne on the beach and just sat...it was magical. We woke up to the sound of waves crashing on the shore...it was so relaxing. We took our photocopied version of the paper out on our balcony and watched the people do water aerobics. These people LOVE their water aerobics. There was generally at least 2 water aerobics classes happening in our area at any given time. Each group probably had 10 people in it - which means 10 people splashing around with their noodles and counting (in spanish...wierd). Hysterical.

All the beers in Curacao are served in less than 12 oz servings. The "local" beers, Polar (from Venezuela) and Amstel Bright (from the Amsterdam) are served in 8 oz bottles, and are about $4. We went to the grocery store to stock up there, on hopes of saving money, but that didn't do us much good. Tommy bought 24-8oz beers, 3 liters of coke, a box of Ritz crackers (our vacation breakfast of choice), and a bag of doritos...it was $40. Ouch.

We spent day 2 hanging around the hotel as well - the beach was fun and the snorkeling was pretty good. That night we went to dinner at a place on the bay. Tommy had the snapper. The whole snapper.

Before.

After.

The next day we ventured into town to play/shop/eat. The town is really cool - not a lot of shopping, but we were able to find the best tourist junk store EVER. In this one store I got a deck of pirate playing cards, a stuffed lizard, a clock made of sand, a Christmas ornament (two bears dressed in wedding attire), a recorder and a scary little figurine. And my shopping is complete. They tried to sell us a coat hanger in the shape of a penis, but I regretfully declined. They claim they sold quite a few of them when the gay cruise ship came through. Then we sat at this bar and played cards.

Oh, and here is a picture of the town...

This bridge scared the ever living crap out of me. At a soaring 185 feet above sea level, the Queen Juliana Bridge is one of the highest bridges in the world. It connects Punda and Otrobanda (the two towns on either side of the bay). I would have preferred to drive around instead of over, but I lost that battle.

On the third day, we got on a chartered boat with about 15 other people and sailed to the unihabited island of Klein Curacao. It really is uninhabited. It is about 2 sq miles big and there are no houses on it. I got sea sick on the way there and was not a happy camper. They served us breakfast and then lunch and we got all the drinks we could fit in our hands...which was many. We snorkelled - the water was absolutely amazing - and saw octopuses and seat turtles. So cool. The best part was where we were at the edge of the semi-deep part and the REALLY deep part. Swimming over that edge was scary but so cool. On the island was a lighthouse and a shipwreck - we wandered the island and played on the beach for most of the day. It was fabulous.

The view from our towels.

Tommy's friend Mr. Crab.

Gosh, we're cute.

The shipwreck and Cap'n Tommy. Very unsafe and I made him get down.

The next day we spent visiting all the different beaches around the island and snorkelling. The weather was gorgeous and we saw all sorts of animals - eels, octopuses, huge schools of fish, seat turtles - AMAZING. Here are just a few pictures from our favorites.

On our last night, we went to Mambo Beach, which is apparently where everyone on the island goes. They have a fishmarket at the restaurant, and Tommy and I had our pick of the fishes. We had tuna, mahi mahi, shrimp, and lobster...very tasty. And of course, it came with fries.

The sunset on our last night was beautiful...

And then we came back to reality. It's tragic really. But at least I am tragic with a fabulous tan!

Sadie, sadie, married lady, that's me!

Yup, I am now officially Mrs. Tommy. A little bit scary, but a lot more fabulous! Our wedding may have been the best wedding in the history of the world, but that could have just been because I was the center of attention, and we all know how much I love being the center of attention. BUT, if the bar tab is any indicator of the level of fun, I would say it is a safe bet to say that all of my alcoholic friends had fun as well.

I will blog about the wedding and honeymoon in the entirety soon - I need to get some pictures for you first.

Either way, so far married life is pretty much the same as it was before...Tommy still cooks, cleans and drives me around. Poor guy. I totally scored in this deal. I love that man!!

A Little Bit of Crazy.

I get married in aproximately 48 hours and I may or may not have a little bit of crazy in me. The good news is that I was a good enough planner/organizer that I have enough time today to sit on my couch and veg (aka, write on my blog), but when you lie awake at night imagining that you have lice in your hair and then you become so paranoid about it that you have to get up and check your scalp, it's taking it a bit far. The crazy is taking over.

Seriously, I dreamt that I had lice and I was so paranoid about it that I got up to check my scalp at 3AM this morning.

I have a little bit of crazy in my eyes.