I am starting a new entry for quotes because the other one got too long and it was starting to irritate me...
He held the cucumber for too long. - Gary
Christy's grandmother's nana is mangled. - Bill
Hey baby. I love you. Can we pierce your clit with a diamond stud? - Bill
I figure that if she dies, I have a better chance of picking her up. - James from Weatherford
She is dancing with the TV. - Catherine