Vacation.

This post will just contain all of the offensive and entertaining material I collected while out of town for 1.5 days. I would have thought there would be more, but this is high quality stuff - and let's pick quality over quantity. I discarded all emails referencing smiley faces, friendship letters and puppies.

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I was unable to load the Midget Thai Boxing video, so if you are interested in seeing that, just let me know. I'll see what I can do.

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Five reasons NOT to be a penis:
1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

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From Erik, who knows who brighten my day:

http://www.improveverywhere.com/missions.php

Now, Bill, I know you won't think it's funny, but just know that I may have peed a little.

I have only read the Best Buy one, because they are very long and, frankly, I probably need to do some work today. But I will assume that the others are equally as entertaining. If not, I give you the right to flick me between the eyes.

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From Wayne, the British are a strange sort of folk...

The story of mayonnaise (well at least what we know): Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, theTitanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiments cheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered toMexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Happy Day everyone.

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I really wish I could post the Midget Thai Boxing video. It's that good.