Thursday, July 22, 2010


In my extensive research, on company time, I determined that a spider is in fact both an insect and an arachnid. Arachnid is a sub-species of Insect.


Safety is a number one priority at my office. Yes, I said, "at my office", where the most dangerous activity one can engage in is typing. Carpal tunnel is a real issue. Nonetheless, I spend an inappropriately large amount of my time filling out forms for safe working (such as: "Don't put your hands under the hot coffee water" and "Open doors slowly"). I fill out one of these forms weekly and then a larger, more intimidating form on a monthly basis.

I'm all for safety, but really, I work in an office. Any injuries I sustain, short of the refrigerator falling on me, are likely my fault at the whim of my stupidity.

But luckily for me, and the safety of all my colleagues, my company employs a Safety Man. His sole job is to write up safety reports on incidents that occur in the building. I assume he gets paid buckets of money for doing this job.

Last week, I recieved an 8 page presentation on a bug bite an employee recieved while at the office. In the presentation, the Safety Guy jumped back and forth from calling it a bug bite, an insect bite and a spider bite...I was so confused. Let's get the facts straight pal!! The verdict of the Root Cause Investigation (that I am sure took many an overtime hour) was that the victims cubicle was a filthy hell hole that probably harbored animals much worse than bugs. But because he was a filthy beast of a man, we were all forced to endure an 8 page slideshow presentation about his bug bite. A bug bite that just itched a little. It's not like it was a brown recluse bite or had severe swelling. No, it just itched. A little.

Are you kidding me??

Then, this week, I recieve a quick and dirty note about how the elevators have been recalled...and to just "be careful".

An itchy bug bite warrants 8 pages and a recalled elevator gets a quick snippet of an email??

I'll take the stairs.


Erik said...

In my similarly tame environment, we had an ice cream party a year ago for not getting hurt in 450 days or something.

The following day, the DHL delivery guy tripped over a file cabinet and broke his arm.

You can't make this up.

Love and Puppies, Christy said...

Not to make jokes, but I heard that BP was having a "YAYY Safety" gathering on the rig the day before the wrong.

Pam said...


OMG, Do you work for the Post Office too?????

natalie said...

Shannon says she has the same problem, and that her boss will tell her to hold the hand rail while going down the stairs.

Love and Puppies, Christy said...

Haha. Shannon has no idea. I have to sit through hour long monthly presentations about holding the handrail while using the stairs. And if you see someone NOT using a handrail, you are supposed to reprimand them...and then report them.