Dixie is a wonderful dog. She is cuddly and playful and pretty smart, although, at this point, she is more belligerent than anything else. Then again, most parents say their kids are pretty smart and the poor stupid kid can barely quack like a duck. So, who am I to speculate on the genius-ness of Dixie the Dog? She is probably dumber than a box of rocks.
And I have met some dumb rocks.
But so far her biggest issue is that she eats Don. Don doesn't seem to mind this, as he is very fluffy and probably doesn't even notice that she is his own personal grooming service. She eats him and pulls the excess hair off of him which would be great except that she is too dumb to spit it out...so it gets swallowed. Which then means Don's hair hits her stomach and digestive track, only to be pooped out in a giant Dixie the Dog sized terd. With hair in it. And if the terd comes out, but all the hair does not, then there is a giant terd hanging from her butt by a long string of Don's hair. And since Dixie does not possess opposable thumbs, the task of terd removal lies completely on the parents. Me.
So, on Tuesday, I donned a pair of plastic gloves and some paper towels and got about the task of terd removal.
Dixie was pleased to have this nuisance removed, but then, in her stupidity, she swallowed a giant hunk of Don.
Lovely. I'm almost certain she could get into Harvard.
Woe is me.
EL DIABLO!!
1 comment:
Christi - Hilarious! ... ya'll have fun this weekend, don't let me pregnant wife drink too much.
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