My Motherly Advice

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends about new baby stuff, pregnancy and labor and delivery...and seeing as how I have sooo much experience, I thought I would offer up my motherly advice. 

1. Find a nice man.  Let him get you pregnant.  If you choose to sleep with a man who is less than amazing, wear your seatbelt. 

2.  Find a doctor who believes what you believe.  Seriously.  If you don't agree with what your doctor tells you (assuming what you are asking about is reasonable), find a new doctor.  This person will have the ability to make life and death decisions regarding the health of you and your baby - you want to be on the same page as them.

3.  Although cost prohibitive, an iPad has been my BFF throughout my staying at home days.  We got one for free, (otherwise I would never have purchased one), but seriously.  I am nothing without my iPad.  What did moms do before iPads?  I have no idea.  The internet is the stay-at-home moms BFF.

4.  Figure out what makes you happy and find a way to do that during pregnancy and after the baby is born (as much as possible).  For me, it's running and triathlon.  We got a really good jogging stroller and I take my beast out almost every day.  For some it's reading or shopping or paintball.  Keep doing that.  It doesn't have to be as much as you did pre-baby, but make the time sometimes.  And if anyone throws 140bpm in my face again, I'm gonna hurt them.  Most people can barely cook dinner without their heart rate getting that high.

5.  Be the kind of parent YOU want to be.  Listen to everyone's advice and filter out what you want...and then make it work for you.  And when the annoying people on the elevator say that their doctor told them not to take their baby out of the house until they are 2 months old, just smile and say, "How'd that work out for you when you had a second kid?" and walk away. 

6.  If you do not think that poop is amusing, I would highly recommend rethinking the whole baby thing. 

My favorite baby products are:

• BOB Ironman jogging stroller
• iPad
• Woombie (the perfect swaddling tool if you have a screamer/flailer and cannot get them swaddled in blankets)
• Aden + Anais swaddling blankets (but they only work now that she doesn't scream all day)
• Bouncer
• Movie channels on TV

I'm pretty sure I could survive with just the items above at this point.  We don't use bottle warmers or wipe warmers...the Anna drinks ice cold milk and gets her tush wiped with cold wipes.  Oh, the horror!  It's like a third world country over here. 

So far, my beast and I are having a blast.  My only terrible experience was driving to Dallas on Sunday, alone with 2 dogs and Anna (although, I was hardly alone).  I'm telling you, it was awful.  It was worse than when I evacuated for Hurricane Rita...and that took 2 days.  I may not be able to return home because the fear of that drive has me trembling in my britches.  Seriously.  It was so bad.  Do not attempt a 5 hour drive on your own with a 7 week old because if you do, it will take about 7 hours and all of the sanity you can possibly muster.