War of the Roses.

Here in H-town, there is a morning radio show on 104.1 with hosts Roula and Ryan. I do not normally listen to 104.1 because the music is very teeny bopper and terrible. It's something Janelle would like. :) A little too much Justin Beiber for my tastes. But on Thursdays, magical, magical Thursdays, they do the War of the Roses.

War of the Roses is a segment where a woman (usually a woman, but it can be a man) calls in and fears her man is cheating on her. Roula then pretends to be a florist and calls the man to offer him a dozen long stem roses. When the man ultimately gives them to a woman other than his beloved, they get to air all their dirty laundry on the radio. And it is excellent.

Today, a man called in, concerned that his newly thin and attractive wife had spent the majority of the holiday weekend getting wasted with her girlfriends and was therefore too hungover to spend time with him and their 3 children. Roula called the wife, offered her a weekend getaway with a couples massage and asked the names that needed to be on a reservation. The wife asked if she could think about who she would want to bring. Poor husband. (I know I shouldn't get joy out of other's people misery, but normal people don't call radio shows to air their dirty laundry, so I'm over it) Obviously the husband was upset.

They began discussing why she didn't want to go out with him and it ultimately came down to the fact that he wears jean shorts.

She doesn't love him anymore because he wears jean shorts.

And has Doc Martens. (Which btw, I think are coming back in style. If you wait long enough...)

I immediately called Tommy and let him know that a call from Roula is in his future if he continues to sport the jorts. He was very unconcerned.