Family Circus

A couple of family classics from the Bennett Family Story Book:

One time, my parents dog diarrhea'd in the living room while my parents were at work. They have a robotic vacuum that vacuums while they are away. Normally, this is a nice feature. On this particular day, however, with diarrhea in the middle of the room, vacuuming was not optimal. Roomba drug poop all over the house. Mom came home, saw the poop and promptly left with emergency plans for happy hour. She just giggled to herself when dad came home to the mess. Evil. Pure evil.

I love Kevin Smith. Heart him. Have loved all his movies and spent a lot of time in high school watching Mallrats and Clerks. When I heard about Chasing Amy, I just had to rent it. My dad had also heard how good it was, so we rented it together one night, made our popcorn and sat down to view. And then the opening scene was two women doing things to each other no father daughter combo should ever witness together. Dad promptly decided it was time to clean the kitchen.

At Thanksgiving one year, my mom decided to make homemade gravy. Now, while my mom can cook up a great many dishes, she is not the culinary wizard that I am (hahahaha)and the gravy turned out to look a lot more like diarrhea than gravy. It was lumpy, yet runny and a disturbing shade of brown. I, of course, found this to be absolutely hysterical and could not stop laughing. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I eventually had to remove myself from the Thanksgiving meal and eat alone in the other room. I was at least 23 when this happened. I shall never grow up.

When the blogging gets old, the old get older by blogging old ridiculous stories.

There is also the time my parents drank too much Franzia and locked me and my sister out of the house. Hahaha. Now THAT's a story that never gets old. My mom has lived in fear her whole life that I would tell everyone that story...muuuuhahahahaha. And I still turned out okay. Who knew?