The Daily Grind

Today is my last day home with my beast.  I can't believe it.  In honor of this momentous occasion, I give you some pictures of my gorgeous crotch parasite.  Once I start using a computer regularly again, I will start blogging regularly again.  I hope.  I haven't even been reading blogs.  I just watch Channel 13 all day long.  The problem with never changing the channel is that you have to see the same person get interviewed over and over and over again.  The other day, I watched Brooke Shields promote The Addams Family about 18 times.  Or that video of the kid getting eaten by the lion?  Yeah.  A lot of times.  I love my little, adorable, huggable nugget, but man, I miss adults.

But now, some gratuitous photos of my wonderful baby girl...

So bashful.

Scary bear!

Anna and her mean friend Mia.

Bored at a triathlon.  Again.

First (and only) trip to church.

Streeeeetch!

I hate you mom.

Apparently Nana doesn't care that I spit up all over myself.

Nana is fun!

I'm cute.

Dogs love me.

Father's Day brunch.  

Silly mommy.

11 Weeks Old with Lenny the Terrible.

Ha.

We dress all of our creatures in costumes.  This is just the beginning.

My Motherly Advice

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends about new baby stuff, pregnancy and labor and delivery...and seeing as how I have sooo much experience, I thought I would offer up my motherly advice. 

1. Find a nice man.  Let him get you pregnant.  If you choose to sleep with a man who is less than amazing, wear your seatbelt. 

2.  Find a doctor who believes what you believe.  Seriously.  If you don't agree with what your doctor tells you (assuming what you are asking about is reasonable), find a new doctor.  This person will have the ability to make life and death decisions regarding the health of you and your baby - you want to be on the same page as them.

3.  Although cost prohibitive, an iPad has been my BFF throughout my staying at home days.  We got one for free, (otherwise I would never have purchased one), but seriously.  I am nothing without my iPad.  What did moms do before iPads?  I have no idea.  The internet is the stay-at-home moms BFF.

4.  Figure out what makes you happy and find a way to do that during pregnancy and after the baby is born (as much as possible).  For me, it's running and triathlon.  We got a really good jogging stroller and I take my beast out almost every day.  For some it's reading or shopping or paintball.  Keep doing that.  It doesn't have to be as much as you did pre-baby, but make the time sometimes.  And if anyone throws 140bpm in my face again, I'm gonna hurt them.  Most people can barely cook dinner without their heart rate getting that high.

5.  Be the kind of parent YOU want to be.  Listen to everyone's advice and filter out what you want...and then make it work for you.  And when the annoying people on the elevator say that their doctor told them not to take their baby out of the house until they are 2 months old, just smile and say, "How'd that work out for you when you had a second kid?" and walk away. 

6.  If you do not think that poop is amusing, I would highly recommend rethinking the whole baby thing. 

My favorite baby products are:

• BOB Ironman jogging stroller
• iPad
• Woombie (the perfect swaddling tool if you have a screamer/flailer and cannot get them swaddled in blankets)
• Aden + Anais swaddling blankets (but they only work now that she doesn't scream all day)
• Bouncer
• Movie channels on TV

I'm pretty sure I could survive with just the items above at this point.  We don't use bottle warmers or wipe warmers...the Anna drinks ice cold milk and gets her tush wiped with cold wipes.  Oh, the horror!  It's like a third world country over here. 

So far, my beast and I are having a blast.  My only terrible experience was driving to Dallas on Sunday, alone with 2 dogs and Anna (although, I was hardly alone).  I'm telling you, it was awful.  It was worse than when I evacuated for Hurricane Rita...and that took 2 days.  I may not be able to return home because the fear of that drive has me trembling in my britches.  Seriously.  It was so bad.  Do not attempt a 5 hour drive on your own with a 7 week old because if you do, it will take about 7 hours and all of the sanity you can possibly muster.

This is dumb.

My Ironman envy has led me to sign up for a triathlon. On Sunday. 7 weeks after hatching a nugget. 3 months since I last rode a bike. 10 months since I actually rode outside. 3 months since I last swam. And about a year since I actually looked decent in spandex. It's not gonna be pretty.

I will be heading to the Tejas Tri on Sunday morning for my first triathlon since Anna arrived. What was I thinking? In addition to the fact that I am WILDLY under prepared, me in spandex is something no one should ever see right now. I'm gonna bring blindfolds to pass out to the spectators, lest they be blinded by the sight of me. [shudder]

I got the wild hair to register on Monday (race is the coming Sunday).  Before I registered I wanted to get on my bike to make sure I was capable of actually biking 12 miles.  But since I have a baby, I wasn't able to get out on the roads, so I just made sure I could bike for 45 minutes on the trainer.  CHECK!  I used to be able to bike 12 miles in about 34 minutes...now I think I will be lucky to conquer the distance in 45.  If I can average 18mph, I will feel like a rockstar.  I wasn't able to get to the pool this week, so the first time I swim will be right before the race when I warm up.  I don't normally warm up, but I will probably make an exception this time.  It seems like the safe thing to do.  And the running will be questionable...I know I can run 3 miles with walk breaks, but I have no idea what that will look like after swimming and biking.  I've done 0 swim workouts, 0 bricks and 1 bike workout in preparation for this race.  To say that I am underprepared would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, I am super excited.  I love to race (although, I'm not sure you can say that I will do tomorrow will technically be racing).  I can't wait to get back in the swing of things.  Unfortunately, as I type this I am not feeling too hot, so tomorrow is even more questionable than it was a few hours ago.  Hahaha.  Either way, I know I will have fun.  AND because I am officially overweight now, I get to race in the Athena division - hooray!

If I can swim in 15 minutes, bike in 45 and run in about 35, I will be happy.  I have absolutely no idea if this is a reasonable goal.

***********

I wrote the above post on Saturday and raced on Sunday but never got around to posting.  Sooooo, here it is/was.

The race was AWESOME.  I had so much fun.  I was so excited to be in the midst of it all again - the race excitement is always a crazy boost!  It was a small local race, which means a small field, but lots of friends racing and spectating.  Because I haven't lost all (or any) of my baby weight, I qualified to race in the Athena division - 150+ pounders - which I figured would make me more competitive.  Last year I raced in the 25-29ers and got 4th place and I knew I wouldn't be able to duplicate that performance...especially since I aged up to the 30-34ers and that's a much harder age group.

Race morning we loaded up the beast in her Under Armor gear (OMG - so freaking cute) and drove 40 minutes to the suburbs.  I got my bike all set up, peed about 4 times and got into the nasty subdivision pond for a warm up swim.  Holy crap.  I am out of shape.  I swam about 200 yards to warm up and my arms were BURNING.  This didn't bode well, but I knew that regardless, I could survive swimming 600yards...I just may tread water and breast stroke to make it happen.

I was in the 4th wave - with the Athenas and the 40+ women - and the gun went off!  I started out near the back of the pack and kind of stayed there but battling with the people was a real challenge.  Not only am I not used to swimming, I'm not used to having to fight for my right to swim.  It was tough going.  I was very glad I was still able to breathe bi-laterally.  Once I got warm, I actually felt okay...the water was too gross to really enjoy it, but overall, it was nice.  I finished in 12:43...about 30 seconds slower than I swam it last year.  Moral of the story, swim training does me absolutely no good.  I was in amazing shape last year...and saved myself 30 seconds.  I doubt you will catch me doing much swim training this year!

Getting out of the water was tough - you forget how hard going from horizontal to vertical can be - and I was off running!  I got my bike and headed out for 12 miles of flat Texas roads!  The bike was pretty fun...I LOVE biking fast.  I had no idea what an appropriate speed was, so I just pedalled at a moderate pace and was having fun.  The some guy passed me and commented on my fancy bike and I realized I was not doing my full carbon beauty justice with my slow speed so I picked it up.  Haha.  Sometimes it just takes a little motivation. I missed the turnaround and ended up biking about an extra half mile but I think I averaged about 20mph for 12 miles.  I was happy with my time but I had no idea how that would affect my run!

I saw Tommy and Anna coming in off the bike and I threw on my running shoes and started running.  I knew I was going out WAY too fast - an 8 minute mile is just ridiculous - but I wasn't able to really slow down.  My plan was to run about 9 min mile-ish and then walk for a minute through the water stops.  When I got the first stop, I got my water and was planning to walk but then I saw Tommy and couldn't make myself do it.  Haha.  Stupid pride.  I kept running but slowed down finally. I walked quite a bit on the last mile but still averaged about 9 minute miles overall. 

I finished in 1:16:35...about 5 minutes slower than my time last year.  I cannot believe it.  I am so happy that not only did I do well, but that I had fun.  I was so worried I wouldn't have fun and my motivation would go away but I loved it and it was fabulous (minus the spandex part of the day) and I CANNOT wait until August when I get to race again.  And the best part is that I got 1st place in the Athena division!  Hahaha.  Who knew?

1st Place Athena!

I love racing.  I am so so SO happy to be back in the game.  I can't wait to see what the rest of the season holds.

Anna the Beast at 7 Weeks Old

Ironman Envy!

Ironman Texas was this past weekend and now that the initial exhaustion is over, I can blog.  I'm telling you now, spectating Ironman is almost as hard as racing it.  Spectating is a sport and I am sore from my participation.

Tommy raced like a champ and I know we are all glad the race is over and behind us!  He didn't really want to race (he did not enjoy his experience in Cozumel) but signed up because I wanted him to...and then I got pregnant.  Ooops.  But he put in the long hours of training before Anna arrived and did what he could once she was here.  It wasn't the optimal training season, but it is what it is!

I dropped Tommy off in the Woodlands on Friday night so he could stay at the hotel and get a decent nights sleep before the race.  I came home and spent the evening packing for a day in the sun with a newborn.  Ha.

#915 Ready to Rock!!

In traditional triathlon fashion, we ran into just about everyone we know at bike check in.  I heart the tri community.

#160 will be using a stroller for the bike portion of the race.  Anna was not amused.

I wasn't sure Anna and I would make it for the swim in the morning, but we did!  We got there in time to see the 1st pro get out of the water and to see Tommy get his bike!  I had to wake up at 2AM to get there, but I am so glad we did.  She had this adorable UnderArmour outfit that my mom's BFF sent to me...she wore it for all of 20 seconds before she shat all over it.

Baby running gear.  OMG.

Heat makes baby comatose.

Tommy headed out for 112 beautiful miles!  

He gave us a kiss before rolling out.  It was then that I realized I was covered in poop.  So romantic. I didn't see many of my other friends get on their bikes because I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning poop off my hands, my camera, the Anna, the diaper bag and the carseat.  I stuck her in the Bjorn so the carseat could dry out a little and we watched the end of the swim.  And then I had to go to the port-a-potty.  With Anna in the Bjorn.  Triathlon is a nasty nasty sport.

After most of the people had left for the bike, Anna and I went to the hotel for snacks and naptime.  And air conditioning.  I love air conditioning.

The hardest part of the day was not actually toting a 5 week old baby around outside all day (alone), but the logistics of it all.  How do you pack enough cold breastmilk to last all day without breaking your back or tipping over your stroller?  How do you pump without having to go back to the hotel every 3 hours?  How do you pack enough food and drink for yourself?  How do you plan on enough diapers and clothes for blowouts?  What if the stroller gets too hot?  Don't forget the Bjorn.  Or the clip-on fan.  Or the mosquito netting.  Or your camera.  Or phone.  Or wallet.  Oh dear lord.  The logistics of it all were enough to essplode the brains of a small village of geniuses.  Let's be honest though, I LOVE logistics and I was kind of in hog heaven planning for all the possible risks and doing it all as minimalistically as possible. I even remembered toilet paper for port-a-potty trips and a small jar of dish soap so I could wash bottles.  I mean, if you ever need a logistics planner, I'm your gal.  That said, if I had to do it all over again, I would have packed her powdered formula for the day so I wouldn't have to worry about keeping breastmilk cold...but I didn't think of that genius idea until 2am when I was getting ready to leave, and I decided 2am was not the appropriate time to learn how to make a bottle of formula.  The milk thing worked out just fine though.  It was messy, but the Anna had food!

Anna and I spent the day wandering between groups of friends, tracking down Tommy and just enjoying the great outdoors. It was balls hot, but we were expecting WAY worse, so all in all, it was a gorgeous day.  the breeze on the canal made things very bearable.  And the heat kind of made Anna comatose (bonus!)...she was a champ all day long!

After naptime, our first stop was to hang out at the end of the bike course so we could see Tommy coming into T2.  He finished looking strong!!  Then we went to join our friends to hang out on the run course at about mile 0.5.  The run course was 3 loops - each about 8 miles long - so I was able to see Tommy at mile 0.5 and then cross the canal and see him again at about mile 5.

Mile 0.5ish.  Looking strong but says he feels like death.

 Anna and I crossed the canal and caught up with him around mile 5!

Looking good at Mile 5!

That's one good lookin' piece of ace right there.

A daddy and his girl.  She says, "Dad, this triathlon sh1t is hot.  Can we go home now?"

We spent the day wandering between groups of friends...I walked at LEAST 10 miles (if not 13-15), pushing a jogging stroller in flip flops.  The flops were not my smartest decision.  I had a blast seeing friends, watching the race and tracking down Tommy at various points on the course.  I may or may not have cried several times throughout the day - sometimes due to jealousy and sometimes just because I get so overcome by Ironman.  I just love it soooo much!

He loves the horsey dance.

My husband is hot.

We saw Tommy for the last time around mile 22 and walked with him for a mile or so.  He was really hurting but was almost done!!  I had realized earlier in the day that there was no way I was going to be able to get close to the finish line with my giant stroller so I jumped ship when we got close to transition and headed down to get his bike and gear bags so I could take them back to the hotel and he wouldn't have to worry about them when he was done.  Unfortunately, at this point, I was kind of done - Anna was chillin' in the Bjorn and my shoulders were hurting, my feet were hurting because I was an idiot and wore flip flops, and I kept picking the wrong side of transition to try to get into.  Pushing that stroller through sh1ttons of people is like trying to fit my post-partum ass in my pre-pregnancy jeans.  Unpleasant for everyone involved.

I ran into an old friend of mine from college, the lovely and wonderful Cayla (who gets her meat for free) and her mom and sister.  They asked if there was anything if they could do for me and offered to get Tommy's bike and gear bags for me.  I didn't realize exactly how tired I was until that moment.  I started crying out of gratitude.  They saved me another quarter mile of walking through transition and then Cayla helped me steer Tommy's bike back to the hotel.  These women pretty much saved my sanity that night.  I seriously had no idea how exhausted I was until they offered to help.  Apparently spectating Ironman with an infant on 3 hours of sleep is less than optimal.  Ha.  I seriously owe them big time.  THANKYOUGUYSSOMUCH.

I got back to the hotel and was planning on taking a quick shower and then packing up the Anna in the bjorn to try to brave the finish line, but Tommy called and said he was done and was heading back so I just packed up the room.

He didn't quite have the race he had hoped for, but he still did amazingly well considering the heat and his training hadn't been optimal at the end.  I am so proud of him for sticking it out and finishing despite not really wanting to.  He is so strong!

The finishers chute of Ironman Texas.  There is really nothing like it.  A.Maze.Ing.

Tommy, you are an Ironman!  

We realized when we got back that his morning clothes bag was not in the gear bags we got from transition so I had to trek back down to the finish line to find that bag...whoever decided not to put all the gear bags in the same place is a dumbass and I hate them.  But whatever.  We got packed up and headed out and finally got home around 11:30PM.  I bathed Anna and put her to bed and finally, after being awake for 24 hours, I crawled into bed around 2...and slept like I had just finished an Ironman.

I am so proud of Tommy for putting in the hours of training required to finish this race.  And not only that, he did it while being an amazing husband becoming a new father.  He is amazing and goes above and beyond in loving and taking care of Anna and I.  We are so lucky to have him.

And now we are all so lucky that it's over.  Haha.  It was a huge stress on all of us the last few months and I think we are all glad that it is finally over.  Tommy can relax, focus on work, us, and some Honey-dos that have been stressing him out...and I get to take advantage of his lack of exercising to focus on my own fitness and my race in August.  :)

Congrats to the most wonderful husband, bestest friend, and loving father in the whole world - you are an Ironman!  Again!

Portable Peeing Devices.

I've decided that someone needs to make a Sneaky Leaker for Miss Anna.  Or a She-Wee.  Or something, because seriously, this diapering thing is out of control.  Yesterday was a 4 bath day and today we were on our third outfit by 9am.  I've lost track of the outfit count at this point.

4 weeks old and modeling baby denim.  There is little else in this world that is more cute than baby denim.

I learned of the She-Wee when Tommy and I first got into triathlon and I was curious what women did during races.  If you google "women peeing in triathlon", the She-Wee is the first link.  Stay classy triathletes.  I never did purchase the She-Wee, because I quickly learned the peeing your pants is totally acceptable while racing and I quickly mastered this skill.  I recommend not touching me post-race.  And not biking behind me.  And, in general, if I am sitting on a curb in the middle of the run, I'm fine...just trying to preserve my socks.  Regardless, making a baby sized version of this would sell like hotcakes (or bagels if you are Heidi Klum).

Triathlon is gross.

In exercise related news, the running is going really well.  I am LOVING being outside but I am still slower than crap and sooo out of shape.  The little underpasses in my neighborhood (we don't have hills, just underpasses and overpasses), used to be cake, but now they are a force to be reckoned with.  Especially against the wind.  Pushing a jogging stroller.  So much pain!  I ran today with my friend Merry and it was wonderful.  It's amazing how much better I can feel when I don't run in the heat of the day and can leave the Anna at home.  I was a running champion!

I signed up for my first post-baby race.  It's a sprint tri in August - I hope I have enough time to prepare.  My only goal is to not embarrass myself.  I'd like to bike 20mph and run 8:30s...if I can do that, I will be COMPLETELY happy.  I haven't been on a bike yet (the fear of the teeny tiny seat hasn't gone away yet), but I'm hoping I didn't lose too much of that fitness since I was spinning up until the last month of pregnancy...we will see!

I may also try to do a few 5k and 10ks this summer, but since triathlon is my first love, it's also top priority on the list!  Tommy is racing Ironman Texas next weekend and he will rock it - even though the last 5 weeks of training were probably not what one would want their last 5 weeks to look like leading up to an IM.  He will be amazing.  And either way, training on no sleep because of living with a newborn is no small feat!  I am so proud of him!  But afterwards, I get to race...and I am soooo excited!!

Stop looking at me.  Or else.

I may have a little Nazi baby.  She is a work in progress.

Winner!

Heisman Trophy Winner!

I love my daddy!

Brag.

The intent of this post is entirely to boast the cuteness of my little monster.  If that nauseates you, and it should, I recommend that you stop reading now.  However, if you live in the greater Houston metro, I recommend you look through this photos and then call Studio Ainsley Photography to set up your next photo session.  This woman is a genius.

My wonderful family!

Adorable little monster!

This was my grandmothers chair - we just had it dry cleaned because she was a huge smoker and it reeked but I LOVED the chair and needed it in my house.  We were so afraid of Anna pooping all over it, but she didn't.  We were so proud.  And then Donny came outside and peed all over it.  Asshole dog.

My gorgeous child and my ridiculous addiction to Etsy.

How she was able to get this picture is absolutely baffling to me.  I worship her.

My cute nugget!

Darn you Etsy and your extreme cuteness!

Etsy took most of my paycheck this month.  Totally worth it.

This is the face that Anna made for most of her first 2 weeks.  

This is the face we WISH she had made for most of her first 2 weeks.

I apologize if you have vomited on yourself.  Send me a bill.  I will pay your dry cleaning.

Hiatus!

Hopefully my hiatus is over, but let's be honest, since I don't get out of the house all that much, not that much is happening to me outside of explosive diarrhea and spit up.  That is not to say that explosive diarrhea is not hysterical (when it is happening on someone else), but just to say that it happens so often that really, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the blog.

The first two weeks of Anna's life were rough...she did nothing but scream 24 hours a day.  She didn't sleep...she just screamed.  But we got her all loaded up on Prevacid and Zantac (for reflux) and she is like a new little baby.  She is still pretty fussy and doesn't sleep much, but she isn't inconsolable...DRASTIC improvement.  We will take it!

2 Weeks Old and Terrified of Leonardo the Terrible Monster

3 Weeks Old and Still Hating Lenny.

At 8 days old, Tommy and I couldn't take the confinement to the house much more, so we ventured out to the neighborhood bar/restaurant.  We loaded up our little monster, walked the few blocks, and of course she started screaming the minute we arrived...but I think the heat finally knocked her out and we were able to enjoy a glass of wine and a tasty dinner.  It was magical.

Our first outing.  We made sure to get a table in the back, near the exit should we need to make a hasty escape.

At one point, in the middle of the night, I came downstairs to find Tommy and Anna, both butt naked because the poop had gotten so out of control that both individuals required baths.  I went back to bed.  :)  They say to sleep when the baby sleeps...but since our baby doesn't really sleep, I figure I can sleep when she poops on someone.  It's the perfect arrangement.  I'm so rested.

I don't think she wants to go to LSU.  

I've started running again...and it's UGLY.  Like really ugly.  Me and my BOB have some getting to know each other to do.  That thing is heavy and not particularly aerodynamic.  And you wouldn't think an 8lb baby would be all that hard to push, but you try to run while carrying an 8lb weight and see how it feels.  Then push it in a giant un-aero stroller.  Ow.  My arms hurt.  But, I'm running and it is AMAZING.  I'm trying to ease back into it, so I'm starting with 5/1's for 3 miles and then next week, I will ramp up to 6/1's and then the next week 7/1's, etc...until I get to running the full 3 miles...then I will increase the mileage.  It's painful, but man, it feels soooo good to be out there sweating again.

Anna's only running gear.  I think she needs some tech-tees.

Anna's First Run!  Anna, you are an Ironman!!

My mom came in town this week - it was Tommy's first week back at work - and it was soo good to have her here.  It really does take a village to raise a baby!  Haha.  Having a spare pair of hands around was amazing.  And then my sister came for the weekend and we had a great time!

We were discussing who Anna looks like and we found this picture of my mom...my mom and Anna could be twins.

Mom

Anna, aka Mom's Twin

3 Generations!