Post About Nothing.

So, unfortunately, I don't spend as much time surfin' the net like I used to...not because I don't have the time but because I choose to go to bed at 8PM on a regular basis.  This is the bedtime I have always dreamed about but never indulged in.  I am a morning person, but due to social norms, for years I have been forcing myself to stay awake at least until the sun goes down.  But having a baby gives you the perfect excuse to do just about anything you want. 

Want to talk about vaginas all day?  Sure.  You just had a baby.  Want to cry for no reason?  Yeah, that's normal.  You just had a baby.  Want to talk about poop and vomit while others are eating?  Why not?  You just had a baby.  Sweating profusely?  It's the hormones.  You just had a baby.  Want to go to bed at 8PM everynight for the rest of your life?  No prob.  You just had a baby.

As a kid, my mom would tell me that I couldn't get out of bed until the numbers on the clock matched this piece of paper she taped on the wall that 7:00.  Unfortunately for me, at my tender age, I didn't know that 6:59 came before 7:00 and that 7:01 came after...so I remember sitting in my bed, staring intently at the clock, just BEGGING the numbers to match and knowing that if I looked away for even a second I could miss 7:00. 

It's the little things that really eff up your kids man.  It's the little things.  She also gave me a phone book and a pair of scissors so I could entertain myself.  I spent most of my childhood cutting up phonebooks.  That's a life skill I have yet to need.

Back to my point.  My original intent was to tell you why I haven't been blogging...which, if you follow the logic, can ultimately be blamed on my mother.  So thanks mom for screwing up my blog.  I'm sure that when you gave birth to me, you were planning on savings lots of money for some serious therapy sessions down the road (for you or me or both) and you had no comprehension of this newfangled virtual world where I would type up my diahrea of the mouth for everyone to read.  I think we can ultimately blame dad for that one though.  I'm sure he had something to do with it.  And if not, feel free to take your angry out on him anyway.  You just had a baby after all (I realize I am 30 years old so the excuse is getting a little tired, but until he capable of pushing a baby out of him, I say just go with it).

Sidenote since my mother has now started reading my blog:  I love you mom.  But all those times you told me I looked terrible in lavender really messed me up.  I don't own a stitch of purple clothing for fear of upsetting the color wheel.  But really, I love you mom.

I wish I had something exciting to write about, but the point is that I don't. 

Mmmmm...Nachos is good for me.

Cooking up a nugget for dinner!

So in lieu of actually writing a post, I started a special savings account for Anna's future therapy, which frankly, I feel that her future self should pay for...but since I am the one who styles her hair that way (because OMG, it cracks me up!), I will do what I can to offset the financial strain of years and years of therapy.  Here's a quarter sweetheart.

Owling About Town.

For those of you who don't stay home all day and watch tv, I've got news for you.  Owling is the new planking.  And for those of you who are saying, "what the hell is planking?". Well, I've got news for you too.  You are behind on the times my friend. Behind the times.

Planking is all the rage.  Mostly for teenagers.  Or adults hopped up on caffiene.  It's also apparently dangerous.  Whic is ridiculous because according to Wikipedia, it's alternate name is also called the Lying Down Game.  Lying down is probably the safest of all activities in the world.  But you know, if you lay down on your roof, you're an idiot.  Nonetheless. 

This picture has inspired me to take pictures of Anna planking.  I bet planking is a SIDS risk.  Tragic. 

Somebody give that baby a planking!

BUT.  Planking is out and Owling is in.  Thank goodness I have friends like LD and Tater who fill me in on these things now because my daytime TV watching is lacking and I miss it.  I know I said that Brooke Sheilds at The Addams Family was irritating, but I miss.  You don't know what you've got till it's gone.  They took paradise and put in a parking lot.

Since my pal Amac was here from Dallas (yayy for friends visiting!), we owled about town.  We went on a run with our friends on Saturday morning and finished it off with breakfast at Yale Street Grill (home of the crispy hash browns...yum!).  (Sidenote:  I ran 6.5 miles!!  HOORAY!)

Tater, owling it up on the newspaper stand.

After running and post-run calorie consumption, we took naps and went shopping on Westheimer (home of the clothes that are too trendy for me) and then took the Anna to dinner at our neighborhood bar and grill.  Tommy took Anna home early so Amac and I could party like it was 1999, so we ordered a 2 liter bottle of wine (because they apparently sell those there) and consumed it.  Then called Tater who joined us for some beers and some late night owling. 

Late Night Owling.  Burns more calories than Taco Cabana.



Then, because we are old and I just had a baby, we left at like 11PM because, let's be honest, I cannot party like it's 1999 anymore.  I tried though, I really did.  We came home, watched Ferris Bueller (SEE?  We were really trying for the 1999 thing...)    Then on Sunday, we met Janelle and Thomas for breakfast at Coco Crepes (home of the delicious bananas foster crepe) where Anna worked on her Jackie O impressions.

Anna and Aunt Amac.

Oh, and BTW, this morning on the radio, Rod Ryan was talking about how owling is the new planking.  We are so trendy.


Brag.

The intent of this post is entirely to boast the cuteness of my little monster.  If that nauseates you, and it should, I recommend that you stop reading now.  However, if you live in the greater Houston metro, I recommend you look through this photos and then call Studio Ainsley Photography to set up your next photo session.  This woman is a genius.

My wonderful family!

Adorable little monster!

This was my grandmothers chair - we just had it dry cleaned because she was a huge smoker and it reeked but I LOVED the chair and needed it in my house.  We were so afraid of Anna pooping all over it, but she didn't.  We were so proud.  And then Donny came outside and peed all over it.  Asshole dog.

My gorgeous child and my ridiculous addiction to Etsy.

How she was able to get this picture is absolutely baffling to me.  I worship her.

My cute nugget!

Darn you Etsy and your extreme cuteness!

Etsy took most of my paycheck this month.  Totally worth it.

This is the face that Anna made for most of her first 2 weeks.  

This is the face we WISH she had made for most of her first 2 weeks.

I apologize if you have vomited on yourself.  Send me a bill.  I will pay your dry cleaning.

Idiot.

Had to deal with my first real idiot comment yesterday.

I'm talking to a guy I work with on a work issue and before we get down to business he asks about the baby and such. He then proceeds to say, "You better find someone good to stay with your baby so you don't feel guilty coming back to work". Yeah, thanks, Jackass. I was planning on picking up one of the illegal immigrants from the Valero Gas Station, but now that you mention it, finding someone good DOES sound like a smart idea.

Where do people come up with this stuff?

****************
Awkward Family Photos!


I had my dad take a few pictures of us this weekend for me to send to this chick to make us a watercolor. I am anti-maternity pictures...not because I don't like them (although, I don't really) but because A.) I am the least photogenic person in the world and B.) I have no idea what I would do with a picture of just me if I had it. So I will have Etsy (my BFF) make me a faceless watercolor to hang in Anna's room...I get the best of both worlds! I sent her pictures of Dixie too and she is going to paint her in somehow (Dixie was not invited to the parents house for the weekend - Devil Monster Dog). I'll let you know how it turns out (unless of course I am still unphotogenic without a face...).

Awkward Turtle.

I had my first uncomfortable belly rub today.

I, surprisingly, have not been as irritated by strangers touching me and asking me questions as I thought I would be. I've found that, in general, as long as they aren't creepy about it, it really just doesn't bother me. This is very out of character for me, as I am generally a nasty sort, but it seriously doesn't bother me. Much.

The strange female bartender rubbed my belly. That was okay. The strange female cashier at the grocery store asked questions. That was okay. The strange female lifeguard asked questions. That was okay. The strange lady in the locker room rubbed my belly (after I was fully clothed). That was okay. The strange male co-worker rubbed my belly in the elevator. Totally NOT okay.

I mean, he wasn't being creepy and wasn't intending to be wierd, but dude. It was wierd. And it was in an elevator. And I had no where to go. I just turned around to end the conversation and started pressing all of the buttons. And then I got off on the next floor to escape.

But really, all in all, I've found that I am a lot more tolerant of people than I (and all my friends/family) thought I would be. People's rude and irritating questions don't really bother me like I thought they would. In general people are interested and just don't know what to say...and that's okay. The intent is there and I get that...and I appreciate your interest in me and my baby. Even if you sound like an ignorant buffoon. I know I have asked some ignorant buffoon questions and said some dumb sh1t at some point in my life. We can just cut each other some slack. Okay?

When people ask me wierd/inappropriate questions, I tend to answer them totally truthfully which I think freaks people out (only partially my intent). But hey, if you ask about my sex life, I'm gonna tell you about my sex life! Graphically. With pictures. If you ask how I'm feeling and I haven't pooped in 3 weeks, well, I'm gonna tell you about it. Graphically. Possibly with pictures. And if you want to feel my belly, I'll probably let you. Unless we are stuck on an elevator and/or you are creepy.

In Pictures...

If you are looking to assault your senses, you've come to the right place.

Here is my pregnancy, in pictures, taken by me, with my cell phone, in various bathrooms that I frequent. Stay classy.


18 Weeks. Super proud to finally have a gut. Even if it still looks more like a food baby than an actual baby.

19 Weeks. Finally sporting a semi-baby looking baby.

21 Weeks. At 20 weeks, we were on vacation in Cancun, where I spent the entire trip, covering up my gut, eating gummi bears and avoiding mexican food. Stupid pregnancy cravings. This is probably not an actually Baby Belly. This belly is full of gummi bears. Srsly.

23 Weeks. This happened overnight. I went to work party on Friday night and wore normal clothes...woke up on Saturday and had this. I had to take off work on Monday to go maternity clothes shopping because I had nothing. But I finally have something to show for months of nausea and sloth-liness!!

24 weeks. This shirt is super flattering. NOT.

25 Weeks. Check out that hideous art work that my mom INSISTS on displaying in the bathroom, despite me telling her that I drew it as a joke and is one of the uglier things I have ever drawn (excluding the painting that I attempted last night which is, in fact, the ugliest thing I have ever painted).

26 Weeks. It's looking a little bit pointy. She is a little wild and wooly.

27 Weeks. In the locker room at work. Hoping no one comes in. Day 1 of the home stretch!

Today marks 28 weeks. 7th inning stretch!! Let the games continue!

My Name Is Christy And I Have A Problem.

You know those weird things you do when you hope no else is looking? Like, reenacting a conversation with someone out loud? Or picking your nose in the car? Or licking the mayonnaise jar? Or unbuttoning your pants before you are all the way in the bathroom stall? Yeah, those things. Those things are weird and socially unacceptable...but everyone does them. (I'd like to point out that mayonnaise is absolutely and complete repulsive and I neither own a jar of mayonnaise nor have I ever eaten mayonnaise just, but you get the idea).

Well, I have a problem.

Before I got pregnant, it wasn't really a problem...it was more of a feature. But now, it's kind of an issue.

I can pee anywhere.

No seriously. I can pee anywhere. I have no problems with dropping trou in broad daylight on the side of the road. I can pee in lakes. I can pee my pants during a run (if necessary to achieve a PR). I can pee my pants during a run if its pouring down rain because, hey, that's just efficient. I have never tried to pee in (or out of) a moving vehicle, but I am certain that should this necessity ever arise, I will rise to the occasion.

The only place I can't pee is while cycling. This is surprisingly kind of an issue when you have the smallest bladder on the planet and your ride partners don't want to stop every 10 miles.

Alas, this life skill has never let me down. The world is my urinal and I am thankful. Thus far in my pregnancy, this skill has been a bonus, because as we all know, pregnancy is a mean, mean trick that life plays on your bladder and you are constantly thirsty and constantly have to pee. On runs I can just run my normal routes and hope that I dn't get arrested when I pee in the yards of the politicians who live in River Oaks...it's a feature. No need to wait for the port-a-cans the homeless people stink up at the park. The world is out there and needs to be watered!

This feature has never let me down...until yesterday.

Yesterday I was running errands after work when, lo and behold, I had to pee (for the 97 thousandth time that day). As I walked between Michaels and REI, I crossed over a nice patch of grass with some shrubberies and I thought to myself, "Oh, I could just pee here". No, I really considered just peeing in the parking lot of the store.

WTF?

It's 6PM. It's light outside. I'm at a strip mall. It's a small shrubbery. It's illegal, inappropriate and THERE ARE BATHROOMS IN THE FRIGGIN STORE! (The bathrooms are probably in the back or the store and not nearly as convenient as this shrubbery, but seriously? Seriously?!)

Yeah, that was one of those stupid things you hope no one ever sees you do (or think). I was mortified that it even crossed my mind. Apparently I have been too free with my peeing experiences. My bladder is starting to forget what is appropriate and what is not. I think my bladder may need to be held back.

For the record, I did not pee in the parking lot. Nor did I pee in the store. I was too embarrassed. I got my new BOB Ironman Stroller from REI and ran out of there! First baby purchase = COMPLETE!

Pregnancy Glow

I don't have it. I don't know anyone who has had it (sorry friends - I lied to your faces). I know it's still early for me to get it, but really, with all this acne, I just dont see how it would be possible anyway.

I'm a firm believer that the Pregnancy Glow is just a way to make formerly thin people feel better about themselves. It's like when you tell a bride it's good luck if it rains on her wedding day. It's not good luck. It just makes them feel better when it rains on their wedding day. Nevermind that the entire outdoor ceremony is ruined. Hey, it's good luck!

The sheer number of zits I have have to pop each day would challenge a teenagers counting skills. And if I do appear to be glowing, it's because I am as sweaty as a a marathoner...and while a marathoner may APPEAR to be glowing, trust me, they aren't. They are starving. Their cheeks are flushed from sheer starvation and dehydration. I'm sweaty and a flight of stairs is daunting.

I'm not glowing. And it's not good luck if it rains on your wedding day.

And if you say it one more time, I will shoot my next zit into your eye.

********************************

In other news, I found a triathlon that I can race! It's indoor, which is super lame, but that also means that I can do it, so that's super not lame!

Kona is this weekend which means I will be glued to my computer screen for most of the day watching the live feed.

I heard Cletus's heartbeat yesterday afternoon - 164bpm. Tommy heard it a few weeks ago, but the deaf often get delayed gratification. Alas, it has a heart and it beats. Very fastly. Yayy!!

Cat's Out of the Bag

Now that the cat is FINALLY out of the bag, I can gossip about all the joys and un-joys of being pregnant.

But let's be honest, the joys aren't all that funny, and people's happiness is generally sickening and irritating, so for now let's focus on the horror that is baby bedding.

We don't yet know the gender of our future child, but we do plan on finding out as soon as possible. Yes, I know it's one of life's great surprises, blah blah blah, but really, it's still a surprise when they tell you during the ultrasound. So even if you find out BEFORE that bundle of pooping joy is in your arms, it's STILL a surprise. Take that naysayers!

And since I don't tolerate surprises well anyway, it's better that I find out after a full nights sleep and without holding any precious cargo.

We will find out as soon as a weiner or lack thereof is visible. I'm pretty sure the 50% accuracy of the Chinese Gender Prediction chart has guessed me right anyway, so it's a moo point. A cow's opinion.

Regardless of Cletus's gender, I will likely go the neutral bedding/decor route, so I have been scouring the internet in search of baby bedding that doesn't make me want to hurl. And unfortunately, this is few and far between. Pair this search with morning sickness and I have spent a lot of time praying to the porcelain god.

In my search, I found a lot of this:

Even more of this:

And thank the good Lord, I saw very little of this:


The search continues, despite the efforts of Winnie the Pooh and Pastel Paint. I will overcome you!!

COME AND TAKE IT

Texas is The. Best. State. Ever. But if you're reading this, you likely know my feelings about Texas already. I'm not saying that I would NEVER move away, but let's be honest - you'd have to promise me a bed made of a gold, a closet full of designer shoes and you'd have to relocate my family and friends to make it happen.

I just heart Texas.

To celebrate the birth of the great nation of Texas, The Texas Independence Relay was born. It's a 203.2 mile relay that starts in Gonzales, Texas (where the first battle for Texas' independence was fought - the Come and Take it Cannon was located there) and follows the trail of battles that Texas soldiers fought for independence. It ends just east of Houston at the San Jacinto Monument - the place where Santa Anna was finally defeated and Texas' independence was won!

I tear up as I write this. I kid you not.

The basics of the race at you assemble a team to run 40 legs of the relay. Most teams have 8-12 people. You start running in Gonzales, TX and you finish at the monument the next day. You run all night and all day until the smell of yourself makes you violently ill. Our team was 9 people, all running 4 legs each, except for Adam (who is/was/always will be superior to all of us and ran 5)...we each ran about 22 miles over the course of 25 hours.

Ultimately, we finished the race in a super speedy 25 hours and 36 minutes to place 14th overall (we were seeded to finish 17th - so we kicked butt!), 7th in our division and had an average pace of 7:26. Dude, we totally rocked. In addition to our swift running, we also recieved 3rd place for Most Team Spirit. It was totally the costumes. Everybody loves a guy in pink spandex.

I think it was the outfits.

Highlights of the trip:

Blizzards from Dairy Queen
Makeshift hangers in the van to dry our outfits between legs
Pita chips
All you saw was the "pee" not the "nis"
Buc-ees, glorious, wonderful, Buc-ees
Kyle running home from his last leg to take a crap but since he didn't have a car there, he had to call a cab to bring him to our next stop(hence Rookie of the Year award)
Not being able to "go"
Staying awake for 30 hours
Navigation issues
ROADKILL!
Howard's - The greatest gas station in the world
SABOTAGE
Really bad music on the Ipod
Delicious hambugers in Weimer (that weren't actually good, but dear lord, they satisfied!)
Kolaches
Hot pink spandex
Giant chamois(s)
15 passenger vans
Mullets
Hating the Tornados

The first legs went great for everyone (except for Kyle who got the 9 mile leg and since he hadn't really been running, this was not pretty for him). The second legs were fun, but in the pitch black darkness of midnight, the entertainment value went waaaay down. Things were starting to get quite painful by the 3rd legs and the van was starting to smell. By the 4th leg, we were all rejuvinated, exhausted, stinky and in a great deal of pain...and then Adam had to run again. Poor guy.

And the awards go to (since we all slept through the Oscars)...

Adam: Team Granddad (aged due to James taking his spot as Team Dad)
Christy: Most Improved
Kyle: Rookie of the Year
Tommy: Best Looking in the Uniform (maybe I'm biased, but probably not)
Melissa: Best TIR Captain EVER
James: Team Dad
Andres: Best First Timer at Buc-ees
Laura: Best at Sleeping. Anywhere.
Jenn: Most Consistent

All in all, it was very fun and very not fun all at the same time. I really enjoyed myself during the day, but once the sun went down, it was hard for me to maintain the level of happy I was previously at. But then I got to run along the bayou at sunrise and all was right with the world again!

The problem with only having one van is that you are very tired and it's hard to sleep...the benefit is that you actually get to enjoy your friends, it all goes by faster and its a lot cheaper. However, I think we were way too fast to have had any downtime anyway! I REALLY liked having a smaller team too - definitely more fun than the 12 person teams.

I always say I'm not gonna do this race again (this was my third relay and 2nd TIR), but I hate missing out on the fun...so I'm relatively certain that if all my friends race again, I'll be there.

Go Team Pace Booty! We rocked!

Happy Ash Wednesday.

Lent is basically the poor mans New Years Resolution. If you failed at your resolutions, you get a second chance to try them again...and you only have to do it for 40 days, not a whole year like that New Years Resolution crap.

These Christians are geniuses!

I don't really do New Years Resolutions. I prefer to think of them as goals. Regardless, it's all the same sh1t different day. I DO do (doodoo. Ha.) Giving Things Up for Lent though. Even though I am not really religious. I just find that it's easier to commit to something for 40 days than to committ for a whole year. Commit-a-phobic? Probably. There is a reason I can't just pick a place to go on vacation. Seriously.

I think the word you are looking for is, anyways...

Every year I give up saying the F word. I also fail at this every year because frankly, I like saying the F word. It's my favorite word. I think it really adds something to a story. It's that je ne sais quoi every story is looking for. So, I always fail at this goal because my heart isn't really in it. Whatever. I'll add it to the list again this year just so it looks like I'm trying. That's for you mom.

This year I will also be attempting to give up all the crap food just sitting around my office...all the time. If I can do it for 40 days, I will succeed. Hell, if I can avoid all the crap food in the office for a week it would be considered a success.

40 days without leftover, cold, germ contaminated pizza. I hope I can survive.

F you.

Oh, and BTW.

Oh, yeah, so, I, uh, got this new great job, which is uh, very awesome...but it unfortunately does not give me as much time to blog at work as I once did. So, don't judge.

If more of you slacker arses read this thing then maybe I could just be a professional blogger, but since I don't have anything remotely interesting to talk about and you don't love me enough to read it anyway, I have to attempt to do this job to the best of my ability.

So, here goes nothing!!

What's in a name?

I normally don't print full names or email addresses on here for fear that some of you might turn out to be crazy stalker people and show up outside my window one night...but this practice also protects the innocents in my stories. However, in this instance, I can't avoid it. So, I apologize in advance.

Simple Disclaimer (stolen from The Bachelor blog I sdore):
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies…that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying Spring Oreos and Spaghetti O’s or have a spin instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

So, I'm sorry too.

What's in a name? I have two stories.


Story #1
At Academy the other day, Tommy and I had some issues at the customer service counter. The girl couldn't figure out how to make our 37 gift cards into one giant gift card. We fought with her forever about it. Finally, we convinced her that buying ONE gift card for $214.67 and paying for that ONE gift card with 37 gift cards was the easiest way to do this. I maintain that her lack of brain cells is due to the fact that her name was TREMENDOUS JOHNSON. Yes, folks, you heard me right. Her name was Tremendous Johnson. When I have children, I hope I go through the list of names and pick something that means Giant Wiener as well.

Story #2
I had to set up a meeting last week with a woman named Betty Heverly whom I have never met. Everytime I looked at her name, I said "Beverly Heverly"...instead of Betty. Our meeting began and the first thing she says to me is "Do not call me Beverly." I spent the next two hours calling her Beverly...over and over again. I can't figure out why I'm not CEO yet.

Reasons I Heart My Husband

Now, this could get a little sappy, but really, I must brag for a little bit. Oh, and the reasons are included, but not limited to, the items listed here.

10. He lets me sleep on the side of the bed with the air conditioner. And he doesn't even complain (at least not much) about the fish flopping I do when I can't sleep (which is all the time).
9. He loves to sit outside all day with me...sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we go to the bar, sometimes we go to the pool...it doesn't matter. But a gorgeous day means we are outside. However, we did waste one of the most beautiful days of 2007 inside Bed, Bath and Beyond for 4 hours registering for wedding gifts...painful.
8. He bought me Rock Band and lets me play the drums all the time.
7. He is hsyterical. Probably the funniest person I know. Kangaroo Song! Kangaroo Song!
6. He looks super hot in his Six Jeans..and his Sevens. Yes, I fully support the purchase of fancy pants for men...seriously, his butt looks so good!
5. He is such a good friend - to me and to everyone he meets. This is a good thing because I am generally pretty evil...they say opposites attract?
4. He took me to the ballet for my birthday and didn't even make fun of me when I cried through the whole thing. Then at intermission, we bought too much booze, so he smuggled it into the theater in his coat pockets.
3. He has adopted my dog...his name is now Dog Blain. And he taught him how to do the Hog Tie...it's very similar to calves getting roped.
2. He loves to be a redneck. It's funny though, because a guy who wears Seven Jeans can't actually BE a redneck, but he tries...he really does. He drinks crappy beer, shoots bb-guns and fishes. For some reason, this turns me on. It baffles me too.
1. He calls me his angel...and we all know how unangelic I typically am.
0. Mostly though, I love him because when the alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning, he cuddles me for the first 9 minutes of my day (snooze time)...and it is the best 9 minutes of every day.


Okay, enough sap. But seriously, I am the luckiest woman alive.

Finally. A Good Day.

Yesterday was my first good day (well, good weekday) in a looooong time. I had a decent day at work, I planned 2 trips to visit Paige in Portland this year, I had the most AMAZING run, I cuddled with my man on the couch while watching American Idol, I ate sushi, I went to bed early and I slept like a baby. Seriously. Best. Day. EVER.

In better news, I am moving to a new desk tomorrow - which means I don't have to sit next to crazy people anymore...or if I do end up next to crazy people, at least they will be NEW crazy people, and it will take awhile for their crazy to come out. I get to start a new project, which will hopefully not make me crazy and I am taking on some new/different responsibilities...next week is the first week of the rest of my life!! Hahaha. But seriously, I can't wait. I need my job to not hate me right now.

Funny things that happened this week: Nothing.

Sorry for the lame-o-ness of this entry. We really haven't left the house much since Rock Band was acquired..because, I mean, why would you leave when you could play Rock Band? I don't know.

BEER DRINKERS UNITE!

Beer Consumption Falls 15% in Germany
By KIRSTEN GRIESHABERAssociated Press

BERLIN — Germany and beer go together like Porsches and the autobahn, but health-conscious residents are turning from the country's traditional beverage in favor of juices and bottled water, sending suds sales down to the lowest levels in 15 years.

According to a government report released today, the amount of beer sold in Germany fell to the lowest sales figure since 1993 — dropping by 2.7 percent in 2007 to 22 billion pints, down 612 million pints from 2006.

The Federal Statistics Office said the drop in beer sales came as the demand for beer mixed with fruit juices, soft drinks and other nonalcoholic beverages rose 18.1 percent from 2006 to 2007, with some 887 million pints consumed by thirsty buyers.

Beer consumption in Germany has been falling steadily for more than a decade, a trend that experts have attributed to an increasingly health-conscious public and an aging population that is less likely to binge.

For last year's decline, the German Brewers Association blamed a rainy summer, noting that foul weather dampens the mood for lifting a stein on a summer evening.
But the group also pointed to shifting tastes.

"Our regular customers are getting older and don't drink as much anymore, and generally Germans prefer milder tastes today, and are more health conscious," spokesman Marc-Oliver Huhnholz said.

For the country's remaining beer drinkers, there's more scary news: Their beloved beverage — often called 'liquid bread' because it is a basic ingredient of many Germans' daily diet — is getting more expensive.

Some breweries have already raised prices, and many others say they will follow later this year.
The director of the famous Hofbraeuhaus beer hall in Munich said the brewery would increase its prices by about 74 cents per case in April.

"This is not about profit, it's about cost increase," Michael Moeller said, adding that the raw materials for the national beverage — barley malt and hops — have been getting more expensive.

Moeller said that per case of beer, the price of malt had increased by 30 cents and hops by 7 cents, and that energy costs to brew beer had risen by 10 percent.

On top of all the bad news, the southwestern state of Baden-Wuerttemberg has said it is considering a ban on selling beer from midnight to 6 a.m.

It's no wonder the Germans lost the title of biggest per capita beer drinkers to the Czechs a few years ago.

But, Huhnholz said, they still drink more than the Irish, who closely follow Germans.

Hangin' Tough

Being the owner of a worn out New Kids on the Block GREATEST HITS CD, I'm as excited as a 10 year-old girl in 1990 in my acid wash jean jacket with an "I heart Joey" button displayed proudly over my heart at the following news. Maybe the lyrics were true...they really are loving me forever.

From PEOPLE website:
After months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.The band's Web site, www.nkotb.com, which had been dormant, is now back up and running in anticipation of the official announcement, which the source says will be made in the next few weeks.

The site currently features a television graphic with a fuzzy, flickering photos of NKOTB in their heyday, and a link inviting fans to sign up for info.The boy band, which made legions of tweens swoon in the early '90s, selling more than 50 million albums, became a worldwide phenomenon before calling it quits in 1994.

Eighteen years later, they're still "Hangin' Tough." The oldest "Kid," Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band's demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight's brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.

In other news: Here is a video of Elizabeth Hasselbeck "Hangin' Tough" - http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20174612,00.html

Seriously? Seriously.

So, in addition to being a cripple who can't work out and therefore can't eat, (oh, and by the way, I have to take 10 students out to eat two meals a day every day this week...but I can't actually consume anything), my computer crashed on Tuesday morning. I called our service center and they said it would be fixed within 24 hours...3 days later, still nothing. I am using a spare, but you know, none of my info is on this one. It's a pain. But the real problem is that most of my wedding stuff is saved on that laptop as well, and I can't access any of it. Normally, I wouldn't save all that personal stuff on a work computer, but since ours got stolen when we were robbed a few months ago, I don't have another choice.

Seriously? So for those of you coming to the wedding, don't expect much. I will likely not be wearing a wedding dress because it won't fit. There probably won't be flowers or food because I can't access the phone numbers. And the odds are pretty high that we will get robbed again or I will amputate an arm or something in the next 9 days.

Links.

We will start this post off with a slighty depressing, yet heartwarmingly optimistic note, and then finish with a laugh.

http://www.strengthforphillip.com/
http://www.jessicagage.com/

My friends are falling apart, so please keep these people in your thoughts. They need them more than you do.

To end with a laugh:

http://www.15formeat.com/index.php

Bus 42 made it's maiden voyage to College Station this weekend...intact, surprisingly. Saturday was a blast, but as of Sunday, I will never drink beer again. More on this topic later.

Bus 42's First Trip to Wings-N-More

(At Top) Vince, Erik, Jorja, Holly (Second Row) Kevin, Chuck, Jennifer, Thomas, Tommy, ME!, Sarah, Gilmore (Front Row) Jessica and Zach

Sorry. I'm sorry. Seriously. I'm sorry.

Why must you keep nagging me?

It has been brought to my attention (again) that since I started dating the wonderful TommyB, that my level of funniness has decreased dramatically. This is true. I waste all the funny on him so he won't break up with me. Therefore, I have very little funny left to share with my pals. Sorry. I'm apologizing (again).

Despite the relationship I have with Mr. TommyB, funny things still happen to me, I just tell them to him when he gets home instead of writing them down for you. I'll work on it.

Today I will relate the story of the vultures in my office...

I am the party planner at work (not to sound cocky - I DO have a team that helps me, I am just the head party planner). I plan the office picnics, the ice cream socials, and the pizza parties. Yesterday, I hosted the office pizza party. Now, bear in mind that this party is nothing special...we just wanted to buy everyone a cheap easy lunch. We held it in the cafeteria, the cafeteria provided the pizza and we played Shrek on the overhead projectors. It was not intended to be a huge formal extravaganza.

Now, this story is many-fold, but I will stick to two main points: #1. The people in my office are obviously poor and starving. #2. The people in my office have no sense of proper decorum and thankfulness.

To address problem #1: It was a pizza party. We bought enough pizza for everyone in the building (650 people) to have 2.5 slices. Some people will have 1, some people will have 4 - fair enough. We have some real teletubbies over here. But people were pissed off that they can't take a whole pizza home with them to feed their children. Pissed off. Like actually upset that they can't take a whole pizza home. Bear in mind that everyone (almost) in my office is an engineering type person who makes a healthy salary. There is no reason why they can't just go home and buy an effing pizza for dinner if they want one. Their children are not starving. There is also no reason to take 17 cokes back to your desk. Seriously man? I case of cokes is like $4. Are you REALLY that strapped for cash? Really? I think all the starving children in Africa actually work in my building.

And #2: The party was fron 11-12:30. The cafeteria was making almost 220 pizzas. No one could possibly expect ANY pizza joint to produce 220 pizzas and have them all the ready and hot at the same time. It would be impossible. But apparently the people in my office have had better luck at making 220 pizzas at once, because these pizzas were unacceptable. One woman showed up at 12:45 (15 minutes after the party had ended) and complained about the temperature of her pizza. There's a microwave you incompetent piece of crap.

There's my rant for the day. I'll see what else I can dig up for you...there were those old nasty women humping each other in Scottsdale, and Brutus the Gator I held in New Orleans...I'll see what I can do...