Christy's Catastrophies ... Siiigh

Bikini Body

2012-01-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

I have my bikini body back. FINALLY. That said, I didn't exactly have the greatest bikini body before I got pregnant, and that hasn't changed, but I think I can say that I look almost as good in a bikini NOW as I did THEN ("then" being before Ironman gave me a set of six-pack abs...I doubt we will ever see those puppies again).

So, I guess that's really the best I can hope for.

Before Ironman training (in 2009), I weighed about 143 pounds. That's a size 10 and on the high end of the BMI scale. My dearm goal was to get down to a size 8...I've NEVER been a size 8. Not even in high school when I was a skinny minny.

Alas, Ironman training began and while I got VERY toned, I did not lose a single pound, nor drop a single inch. I had rock hard abs, could do 100 push ups, and about a million V-ups before collapsing, but I didn't lose a single pound or a single inch. I was still a size 10.

After Ironman, I started seeing some doctors because that's just not normal. I was diagnosed with PCOS. In short, there is a fat girl version and a skinny girl version. I had the fat girl version and the only reason I didn't weigh 400lbs is because I was training for an Ironman and making healthy food choices. I began getting treated for insulin resistance with a medication called Metformin which initially made me want to hurl, but once I got regulated on it, I felt amazing and the weight started dropping off. In the summer of 2010, I was the skinniest I have been since mid-high school - 136 pounds - but still a solid size 10.

Those effing pants!! Makes me crazy. Luckily, my husband likes a girl with some hips. But really I think he just says that because he doesn't want to buy me all new pants.

Then I got pregnant. My pre-pregnancy weight was 136 pounds (but I consider my REAL pre-pregnancy weight to be about 143). By the end of those 40 weeks, I had grown to a solid 177 pounds. I weighed more than Tommy (but he was training for Ironman and therefore at his optimal race weight, soooo, I tried not to dwell on it).

I was told that breastfeeding would make the weight melt off.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.

Breastfeeding made me want to become a cannibal because then there would ALWAYS be food available to me. Breastfeeding made me the hungriest person in the world. I would have beaten some starving Ethiopians for their dinner. Seriously. I would wake up 2-3 times a night, RAVENOUS, and eat a few slices of pizza or a few bowls of cereal or whatever (a couple of timese a night). I kept snacks next to my boppie because while I was feeding Anna I would sometimes get so hungry I would cry. Not to be rude, but you can't lose weight if you are eating 124 large pizzas a day. I'm just saying. And I'm telling you that I was NEVER full. Ever.

Then I stopped breastfeeding. And while I had developed some terrible habits (McDonald's Chicken Biscuit anyone??), I was no longer starving and was able to at least ATTEMPT to make good choices. But bad habits are hard to break and it's been tough going. I was finally able to control my hunger. THANK GOODNESS.

Getting into the routine of work, baby, working out, preparing meals made a huge difference for me and I started seeing some results.

By Christmas, I was down to 146 pounds.I made a new years resolution that in 10 weeks, I would lose 10 pounds. 10 weeks just also happens to be my birthday and the start of summer (here in Texas). That's 1 pound a week for 10 weeks. I'm 4 weeks in and have lost 4 pounds, but I know these last 6 pounds are going to be the hardest...since I was never able to lose them before.

But I'm gonna try!!

And finally, today, when I looked in the mirror, I wasn't repulsed by what I saw. 142 pounds of me wasn't gross. My boobs were a little saggier (but they are so microscopically small, that it don't really matter), and my belly is flabbier, but overall, I'm about back to where I was before the Ironman. I wore a bikini then, so I can wear a bikini now. Can't say that I will rock it, but you probably won't vomit.

At 6:30AM this morning, in 50 degree weather, I put on my bikini just to be sure. Lo and behold, it wasn't too bad.

6 more pounds to lose. 6 more packs of abs to find. I can do it.

Nothing New.

2012-01-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

I'll be brief. (HAHAHAHAHAHA)

Nothing exciting is happening here. We spent Christmas with my family and then had 5 glorious days at home with just the three of us. We relaxed, we played, it was magical. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that the holidays are a whole year away. The pain. It was a seriously fabulous time - we NEVER have relaxing time at home - and even though we were all sick as dogs ( I spend one full day at the doc-in-a-box and at an actual doctors office), it was still magical. THAT'S how badly we all needed a vacation.

Nonetheless, a few updates:

We are considering moving. It's been a long time in the making, but now we are actually thinking about moving. We need a little more space (currently in 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths and no yard)...and we really want a pool. We are still trying to wrap our brains around moving to the 'burbs, but it's looking more and more likely every day. We found a house that had the most AMAZING backyard - gorgeous pool, overlooking a little subdivision pond - but we didn't put in an offer fast enough. Drat!! And now, having seen THAT backyard, we are all snobby and are like, "well, THAT one isn't on a lake, so phooey". Yeah. Now we have this bizarre "it must be on a lake" requirement that we didn't even know could exist before. Nonetheless, we are on the hunt and are getting prepared to put out house on the market at any given moment. Our biggest issue is that we work on opposite ends of town, so figuring out the commute is going to be a huge mess. Alas, we will find something wonderful...someday. And we are secretly hoping that other sale falls through so we can just have that one and have a pool for the summer. Hahaha. Fingers crossed!!

Anna has started to really babble. In a scratchy animal voice. It's like she permanently has a "smelly cat voice". All the time. I'm pretty sure that is going to be her permanent voice.

3 Bath Days:

The other day, she grabbed the pepper shaker off the coffee table (because yes, we eat at the coffee table)...and coated herself in it. She was sneezing and coughing and it was fairly comical. It ended up being a 3 bath day.
On the drive home from my parents house for Christmas...we had the car loaded with us, Anna, the 2 80lb dogs, our luggage for a week and some Christmas presents...and Anna had a blowout. We only had one wipe left from the trip and no clean clothes (well, there were clean clothes, but who knows where they were in the car). She was naked and fairly well coated in terd for the next 3 hours of car drive. That's good parenting right there.

And speaking of good parenting:

We learned that if we play Rock Band, she will be mesmerized for at least an hour (probably longer, but we are kind of out of shape). Between the lights and music on the TV, Tommy singing and dancing and my banging on the drums, it's like Baby Valium. Not sure why we didn't think of this before.
So, I bought her some shoes...and I put them on her for our trip to the zoo on Saturday. And I kept wondering why one seemed almost too big, but the other was WAY too tight. I was starting to get concerned about her freakishly different sized feet. Well, I was freaked out until Tommy pointed out that I hadn't taken the paper out of the toe of one shoe. Ooops.

Clapping because wearing Christmas jammies in January is awesome!

Horrified of this new toy.

Grammy and Anna

Great Grandma, her grandson, and his daughter!

From the wedding we went to in Mexico

I did not approve this photo.

The olympic trials for the marathon were in town this weekend, so we gathered up our running buddies, some champagne and a portable heater and settled in for the duration. Luckily, at the olympic trials for the marathon, the duration is only about 2.5 hours. They are pussies. Real athletes can run at full speed for 5 hours. Srsly. I'd like to see them do that. Ha. But it was a wonderful morning spent with friends and then an even more enjoyable afternoon at the zoo...I love Houston in January. We MEANT to wake up to see the marathon (which was the next day) but we slept in instead...wise choice. I've lived in Houston for 8 years and this was the first time I didn't participate in the race...it felt wierd, yet oddly relaxing.

My training has been total crap, but my New Years Resolution is to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks (which happens to conveniently coincide with my 31st birthday), so my race training is being put on the backburner and I am focusing on eating right, lifting weights and getting toned and stronger. I'm still biking and running, but only for like 30-45 minutes at a time to make room for weights. We will see. I'm still planning to race a 5k in February, a 10k in March and a sprint tri in April, but it will all depend on how my training goes. Wish me luck!!

Happy Happy Christmas!

2011-12-12T09:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, the 2 job, maintain a happy healthy marriage while raising a child thing was rough and is (thank goodness) basically over. At this point, I'm really only doing about 1.25 jobs and it's fairly manageable for the moment. Things slow down a little during the holidays, so that's made a huge difference and I am finally starting to get the hang of the new job, so yayyy...that said, I am still probably going to end up wasting 3-4 days of vacation this year and that just hurts my heart.

First World Problems. I has them.

We did the Turkey Trot here and I did about like I expected (not good, but about as good as I expected). I finished in 26:26 for the 5K...which is about 3 minutes off my PR. I figured I would do just under 27 minutes, so yeah, right on plan, but not good. I keep saying I'll get faster and back to where I was, but to do that, I will actually have to train properly...and right now, I'm not. Blah! Tommy walked with Anna in the jogging stroller...he fell down the stairs (twice) earlier in the week and his ankle was all jacked up.

Then we did Thanksgiving with our wonderful friends Tiffany and Harold at their camp on the coast...it was us, Anna, our two dogs, Tiffany and Harold, Harolds mom, their 4 kids and their 3 dogs. To recap, thats 5 adults, 5 children and 5 dogs. Hahahaha. It was wonderful - we wish we could see them more often!

We went to Cancun for vacation, which was marvelous (although, a little cold for our tastes). I got caught up on my reading (The Hunger Games, a couple of chick lit/romance crap, and some comedy...I ran the full gamut). We did a lot of beach sitting, even though Anna HATED sand, eating delicious seafood, drinking margaritas, playing cards and watching movies. The water was too rough and we couldn't swim in the ocean, but Anna loved swimming in the pool (I did not swim in the pool...it was freezing).

Here is a photo bomb of our last few months. And yes, these are the just a small selection of pictures. We took 320 pictures over the weekend alone. Trust me. I've toned it down for you. It could be much worse. Much, much worse.

I'm 7 months old! Hooray!

A Preview of the Teenage Years

And you thought YOU had bad hair days.

My friend Jodie came in town and we had a girls lunch and then we went and "played" at Kristins. Playing mostly consisted of the other babies taking whatever Anna was playing with (eating). It was very amusing.

Mom. Seriously. Stop it with the camera.

Anna and her pals.

The girls! We survived lunch!

Cupcake!

This is when we realized that we should have dressed her as Gene Simmons for Halloween.

First trip to the zoo. Petting a goat. It looked and felt a lot like Donny the Dog. She was not impressed.

My mom and sister came in town and Tommy and I went to a wedding and then spent the night in a hotel...there is nothing better than waking up on your own on a Sunday morning.

Thanksgiving at our friends new camp!

And then we spent the week after Thanksgiving in Cancun - we spent the first 5 days alone, just the 3 of us, and then we packed up and moved to another resort for a friends wedding for 3 days. My family was there and it was a blast.

Mommy realizes she may be showing too much boob for a wedding.

Baby Anna will cut you if you take her banana.

Dancing with Daddy

This is the moment that she realizes that sand is going to kill her.

Yayy Mexico!

This is how we do vacation. Napping baby, cards, beer and paella...on the beach.

What up?!?

Practicing for the swim. Ironbaby!

The storm that rolled in from Cozumel the day of the Ironman...

Splashing is the best!

Yes. She is almost 8 months old and we still swaddle her. Dear lord.

I love swimming! Even when it's freezing cold!

The view from our room. We are spoiled!

My family! Nothing better than a wedding where you are barefoot and can have a mimosa during the ceremony.

Excuses!

2011-11-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

I am seriously just one giant excuse after another.

But here is my Top Ten List for Why I Haven't Blogged Since Before Kim Kardashian Got Married:

10. I got a new job (yayyy!)
9. But I still have my old job (boo!), so I get to do two jobs...and only get paid for one.
8. I got a subscription to US Weekly (also known as the greatest publication of all time) and therefore for one night a week, I am busy. Reading about the Kardashians. And the Real Housewives of Whatever City. And the Beiber. GLORIOUS.
7. I have this rugrat who requires inordinate amounts of attention and prefers to be outside with the mosquitoes. And it's hard to play on the computer when you spend 100% of your time batting mosquitoes away from your child's face. And then she STILL looks like an assault victim. And then we both spend the next two days walking around swearing that we just ran into a door...our husbands did NOT beat us.
6. I am running. Or biking. Or lifting weights. Or TRYING to do some form of calorie expenditure.
5. I am lounging on the couch, watching the Beibers, Kardashians, and Housewives with my cute husband who moans and groans the whole time, which means that I have to rewind and re-watch, which means that we all get double the time with the Kardashian family. Winning!
4. I've been sick. Which is sad. And means that I walk around with kleenex stuck up my nose. Lucky for me, Tommy finds women with kleenex hanging out of their noses irresistible.
3. Anna is hysterical and wild and still isn't taking naps. Which means I am not taking naps. And when Mama don't take naps, ain't nobody happy. And ain't nobody having no time to blog. I just bought a book about how to get your baby to nap. Basically, it's all puppies and rainbows and "just love your baby to sleep" and makes me want to hurl the book across the room. If love put the kid to sleep, she'd be freaking Sleeping Beauty.
2. I apparently have arthritis in my feet and am wearing old lady shoes. From the ugly shoe aisle at DSW. I don't respect myself. At all. But man, these puppies are comfy.

And the number one reason why I haven't blogged since Before Kim Kardashian Got Married:

1. I just haven't felt like it.

Quick update:
Tommy and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary last week. The traditional gift for 4 years is fruit or flowers, so I got him an Edible Arrangement and he planted flowers in our garden in the shape of a 4. We are so cute. My mom is coming in town this week to hang with me, since Tommy is going to Amsterdam for work and then when he gets back, we are going to a friends wedding and staying at a hotel for the night while Nana hangs with the nugget. I plan on taking 14 naps before I head home in the morning. Ha.

The Don is doing SO much better. He has been diagnosed with Addison's disease and for the small price of $400 a month, he is healthy and happy. Don needs to get a job. But seriously, Addison's is a very dangerous disease, but it's similar to diabetes in that it is deadly, but VERY manageable ($$$)...so we are managing it. And Anna will have to pay for her own college, but that's an entirely different issue.

Work is seriously kicking my butt. I miss blogging. But then again, I also miss having a waist, so it just goes to show that we can't have everything.

Okay. Love. And puppies. And I'll get back to it eventually.

The Don

2011-10-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

I got this furball of a dog in college against my parents will (shocking!). I lied to the shelter saying that I would be living in a house with a friend (when I really lived in a tiny efficiency apartment) and had her pretend to be my landlord when they called to confirm this story. (Why is adopting a shelter dog so freaking hard?!?!)

Anyways, I picked up The Don on February 14, 2004. He was assumed to be about 8 months old (birthday of June-ish 2003), and was part-Newfoundland, part-Chow, part-Lab, part-Any Other Giant and Furry Beast You Can Think Of.

He was giant and furry and adorable. And probably the best dog ever. We had our moments of course, but overall, he was potty trained and crate trained when I got him, so other than the fact that he took a giant dump in the middle of my BFF's house on his first visit there, he was a perfect gentleman.

I was a sloth-like, overweight college senior (also shocking!) because I ate predominately french fries coated in melted cheese with a side of Jack Daniels and Coke while playing as much dominoes as one could handle. It was a fairly glorious victory lap (also known as the 5th year of college). But, when I got Don, we started running because you can't keep an 80lb Furry Beast in an efficiency apartment without also giving him sufficient exercise.

And so the endurance athlete was born.

Over the next year, Don and I moved to Houston for work, into a slightly larger apartment (I got him his own bedroom) and started training for my first half marathon. I lost 40 lbs, started eating well (although, I have never lost my adoration for cheese fries and Jack and Coke...and dominoes), and Don and I were running fools.

He was a man-magnet at the park - even though running in Houston summers is not the most attractive activity in the world - he scored me dates on a regular basis. He and I would run our loop or 2 and spend the next hour chatting with fellow runners. He and I could run up to about 13 miles together in the winter...the summers were a different ball game though. Nonetheless, I ran my first half in Houston in January about a year after I ran my first mile. I ran my first marathon a year after that. And my next marathon the year after that. And then a triathlon. And then Ironman. Donny created an evil monster!

Donny used to be TERRIFIED of men. He would hide in the closet, under all my clothes, until the man left. Until I met Tommy. Tommy showed Don that all men weren't evil and now he is just the sweetest puppy you ever met.

He doesn't get on the furniture, he doesn't really bark (unless we are being robbed), he doesn't run away, and he doesn't dig or really do anything else mischevious. His only tragic flaw is the EXTREME shedding. And he went through this phase of hiking his leg at other people's houses for about 6 months. Otherwise, BEST. Dog. Ever.

This brings us to today. Don is getting old. For the last few years, he has been struggling with his hips and has been on medicine as needed, but overall, wasn't very bad off. However, when Anna was about 4 weeks old, he fell down the stairs and he hasn't really been the same since.

We got carpeted stair treads and got rugs for the entire downstairs so he wouldn't slip or struggle. It helped a little, but he didn't come upstairs as often and kind of generally stayed in one place. We would take Dixie on walks, but Donny couldn't really go, so he would whine at the door until Dixie got back and then he would run out into the field in an act of defiance. It has been really sad to watch him.

Early last week, we noticed that he hasn't been eating as much (if anything). He has never been much of an eater, so him skipping a meal or two is not alarming...so who knows how long he hadn't been eating. We took him to the vet on Tuesday of last week and they ran some tests - told us to go get a drink and come back in an hour - and they found what looked to be like Kidney Failure. He had lost 6lbs in a month. They gave him fluids and some different pain meds for his hip (the other medicine may have caused the kidney problems) and an antacid to help him eat something.

We tried to get him to eat anything - we gave him treats and wet food (that smelled good enough that I considered trying it), we made him chicken and rice and sushi, we gave him cheese and peanut butter...nothing. He ate nothing.

Then Dixie ate it all and shat her brains out all over my rug, but that's a different story.

He was still very pitiful and feeling awful. He didn't wag his tail. He didn't get up. He didn't go outside. Nothing. It was awful.

We took him back in for more tests on Thursday - there was another disease that they needed to confirm or rule out that often presented itself like Kidney Failure. He stayed at the vet all day while they took more blood, gave him more fluids and ran the tests. Confirmed. He didn't have kidney failure, instead he has Addison's Disease. Addison's Disease is less dire than kidney failure and is often managed with treatment, but can still be quite ugly.

Addison's Disease is basically a failure of the adrenal gland to produce the stress hormone that we release to combat stressors in life. Without it, your body has no way to cope and will ultimately collapse and go into crisis...and die. Donny's body does not produce this hormone which is why he was feeling so awful.

Treatment is a shot of steroids every 28 days and daily doses of prednisone to keep levels of the hormone where they need to be. He got his first dose of the steroids on Friday and was doing much better on Saturday - got up to greet me when I got home and ate a few pieces of a treat. But then on Saturday night, he woke me up at midnight, barking to go outside (of course, I was home alone with a sick baby). I went downstairs to let him out and I found the crime scene...bloody diarrhea everywhere. I spent the next hour cleaning and emailing my vet (who is AWESOME btw) and then I slept on the couch, because Donny needed to go outside about once every hour and a half. He continued to poop blood for most of the next day until we picked up the RX my vet called in.

He is now on 6 different medicines, one of which has to be dissolved in water and shot into his mouth an hour before the other meds. He still can't really go up the stairs - he will whine at the bottom until you come and get him (let's remember that he weighs about 70lbs). But he is wagging his tail and getting around a little bit better. The vet says the meds will make a huge difference, but I'm skeptical. He is definitely on the downhill side of things and I think we are getting very close to having to make a decision.

I keep hoping that he will snap out of it and get better, but at the same time, I know he won't and I don't want him to be miserable. We are playing the wait and see game...and it's not particularly fun.

Added to the sick baby, our house is one giant stressball. My mom is coming to visit tomorrow...her arrival will either easse some stress because we will have more hands around to help or increase it because you can't release your stress anger when company is around...we will see.

Keep Don in your thoughts...he has lead a good life and I don't want him to be in pain or miserable. I love that giant mutt.

The Hook Brings You Back.

2011-09-21T14:42:00.000-07:00

So I had this boyfriend in high school. And by boyfriend, I mean this boy who liked me and I kind of liked him, but thought it was creepy that he was a senior and I was a freshman, so I didn't really want to go out with him. I didn't know how to say no (or sure that I WANTED to say no), so I asked my mom if I could go out with him...knowing she would say no for me. She's a good woman.

If I had really wanted to go out with him, I would have just gone out with him. I was difficult that way*. So of course, mom said no because she is a rational human being and when your 14 year old daughter wants to go out with a 19 year old boy (he was old for his grade), you ALWAYS say no. Even if you know she will go anyway. At least then, when she gets impregnated, you can say "Nanananana, I told you so"...and then you can go about raising her High School Love Child.

For the sake of the story, we will say his name was Eagle. This doesn't really protect the innocent at all, because his name was another bird...which totally didn't help his cause. He was a nice enough guy and I DID like him...but only kind of. He was into cars (which I SOOO wasn't)...and into low-rider cars (which I was even LESS into than just regular cars)...especially since I didn't even have my drivers permit. He was into really loud music in his car - you know, like the BOOM BOOM BOOM music that makes you want to kill people as they zip through your neighborhood or stop next to you at an intersection (this is probably why I am deaf today). But is probably also why I was not a teen mom (he knocked up a couple of girls shortly after our "relationship" ended). See mom? I DID make good decisions.

Anyway, we used to spend the afternoons hanging out on the bed of his truck in front of my parents house. The fact that this was fun to a 19 year-old was baffling to me and only furthered his creepiness factor. I mean, I felt SO cool that I was hanging with a 19 year-old, but seriously thought it was wierd that he thought it was cool to hang with me. In my parents yard.

Alas, we had unrequited love. And therefore, he sent me love letters**. Of the handwritten/cologne doused variety. They arrived regularly in the mail...and made every other piece of paper in the mailbox stink to high heaven. He must have wasted bottles of cologne on these letters.

Fast forward to present time: We just had a re-orginization at work. I have a new boss who shows up in a meeting the other day wearing a familiar scent. I immediately placed it and the hook brought me back man. I could totally see myself sitting in my parents yard (with straight teeth because I wore my retainer all the time back then), with my friend Eagle listening to Satellite by DMB in the bed of his truck...

To sum up: My boss wears the same cologne as my high school "boyfriend". Not sure how I'm supposed to get through my yearly performance review without dying.

*Let's hope Anna inherited my hair and nothing else. The less she is like me, the more likely that Tommy and I are to survive her childhood.

**I also recieved a recorded-from-the-radio cassette tape of Careless Whisper by Wham.

Update: It has been brought to my attention that this story would be significantly better if my new boss was my old boyfriend, so for the sake of hilarity, we will say it is so. Done. New boss = Ex-Boyfriend. (But in reality, they only smell the same...)

Maternity Clothes = Increased Revenue

2011-09-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

I am finally, FINALLY starting to be able to fit into my regular clothes. I know they say that breastfeeding just melts the pounds away. Well, THEY can go suck a pickle, because I can guarandamtee you that it did not melt the pounds away. Mostly, breastfeeding made me want to eat the couch. And possibly the coffee table. I would wake up several times a night STARVING. Like, could eat a whole large pizza, STARVING, not "oh, maybe if I just drink a glass of water my belly will stop growling". No, this was RAVENOUS, you must feed me now, I think I may die, or my growling belly will wake the baby kind of hungry. No wonder I couldn't lose weight. I was eating for about 2 million.

Nonetheless, the point of the story is that YAYYY regular clothes! HOWEVER, elastic waistbands rock and I miss them already. No only are you ALWAYS ready to eat a big meal, but you save so much time in the bathroom. I mean, with regular pants and all their buttons and zippers, you better have a few seconds to spare when you get to the toilet...but with maternity pants, you can cut it real close because all you have to do is pull those suckers down. They are just efficient.

I may do a six sigma project on it. Maybe I can get my company to invest in maternity pants for all it's employees.

Maternity pants = Increased Productivity.

No Apologies.

2011-09-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

I SHOULD be apologetic, and I DO feel a little guilty, but alas, life has once again gotten in the way of me spreading the word. And by "the word", I mean "verbal diarrhea" and by "spreading", I mean "like herpes".

Nonetheless, thanks for everyone's concern at my absence. I've just been busy, pre-occupied, and just generally playing about. We have implemented Margarita Fridays at our house (we make margaritas and sit in the driveway like the classy folks we were raised to be), and therefore I spend most of my week dreaming about 5PM on Friday...which leaves little time for blogging. Tommy mixes up a batch of sugary goodness, we take the exersaucer to the field and everyone relaxes and enjoys life.

What's that you say? You live in Texas and it's about 237 degrees outside right now? Yeah, this does not stop us from field sitting. Anna is only happy when she is about catch on fire, so out to the field we go...with margaritas. For us. Not her.

To recap the exersizing in the last month-ish:

I re-injured myself running. Shocking. I was doing really well running 3-4 miles and then when my running club started up for the season running 6/8/10 miles, I was all, "Hey yeah, I can totally run 39 miles with you guys tomorrow. No prob." And lo and behold, I hurt myself. I should know better, but I got caught up in all. Oops. Soooo, now I'm back to 3-4 miles with walk breaks....it's going eh. I'm having fun though, so I am trying not to care too much.

Due to my injury, my race at Bridgeland Sprint Tri went sub-optimally. That said, I would have won the Athena division had I remembered to sign up for it (idiot)...instead I got like 9 millionth place in my normal division. Which, by the way, doesn't feel as good as first. In case you were curious.

I swam okay (as expected...can't expect great things when you swim twice a year), biked okay (it took me 5 miles to warm up...and in a 13 mile ride, that's too long!), and ran pretty crappily (mostly because I walked most of it). So, eh.

I took about 2 weeks off (you know, kind of...) of working out and it was pretty glorious. It was probably the first time off I've taken in a few years and I really enjoyed it. I didn't feel guilty and it was good. I don't have any races until the spring, so there's no real reason to push the envelope now. I felt like I needed a break and I took it. GLORIOUS. And during that time, Tommy and I were able to run together for the first time in about a year - it was great to be able to do that again. Now that the weather is cooling off (it's only 168 today instead of 237), I'm hoping we can take Anna out for runs together.

Point of the story is that I:
A.) Am alive
B.) Am well
C.) Have about 37 blogs started but not finished from over the last month
D.) Am wishing that each day had about 3 more hours in it
E. ) All of the above

No one likes all of the above.

And, of course, gratuitous photos of my adorable nugget, whom we have nicknamed NuNu (it's short for Nugget. Duh.)

First Trip to the Beach. Lovin' Life.

Best. Party. Ever.

A Daddy and His Girl!

Baptism Day!

Post About Nothing.

2011-08-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, unfortunately, I don't spend as much time surfin' the net like I used to...not because I don't have the time but because I choose to go to bed at 8PM on a regular basis. This is the bedtime I have always dreamed about but never indulged in. I am a morning person, but due to social norms, for years I have been forcing myself to stay awake at least until the sun goes down. But having a baby gives you the perfect excuse to do just about anything you want.

Want to talk about vaginas all day? Sure. You just had a baby. Want to cry for no reason? Yeah, that's normal. You just had a baby. Want to talk about poop and vomit while others are eating? Why not? You just had a baby. Sweating profusely? It's the hormones. You just had a baby. Want to go to bed at 8PM everynight for the rest of your life? No prob. You just had a baby.

As a kid, my mom would tell me that I couldn't get out of bed until the numbers on the clock matched this piece of paper she taped on the wall that 7:00. Unfortunately for me, at my tender age, I didn't know that 6:59 came before 7:00 and that 7:01 came after...so I remember sitting in my bed, staring intently at the clock, just BEGGING the numbers to match and knowing that if I looked away for even a second I could miss 7:00.

It's the little things that really eff up your kids man. It's the little things. She also gave me a phone book and a pair of scissors so I could entertain myself. I spent most of my childhood cutting up phonebooks. That's a life skill I have yet to need.

Back to my point. My original intent was to tell you why I haven't been blogging...which, if you follow the logic, can ultimately be blamed on my mother. So thanks mom for screwing up my blog. I'm sure that when you gave birth to me, you were planning on savings lots of money for some serious therapy sessions down the road (for you or me or both) and you had no comprehension of this newfangled virtual world where I would type up my diahrea of the mouth for everyone to read. I think we can ultimately blame dad for that one though. I'm sure he had something to do with it. And if not, feel free to take your angry out on him anyway. You just had a baby after all (I realize I am 30 years old so the excuse is getting a little tired, but until he capable of pushing a baby out of him, I say just go with it).

Sidenote since my mother has now started reading my blog: I love you mom. But all those times you told me I looked terrible in lavender really messed me up. I don't own a stitch of purple clothing for fear of upsetting the color wheel. But really, I love you mom.

I wish I had something exciting to write about, but the point is that I don't.

Mmmmm...Nachos is good for me.

Cooking up a nugget for dinner!

So in lieu of actually writing a post, I started a special savings account for Anna's future therapy, which frankly, I feel that her future self should pay for...but since I am the one who styles her hair that way (because OMG, it cracks me up!), I will do what I can to offset the financial strain of years and years of therapy. Here's a quarter sweetheart.

Only Babies Can Get Away with That.

2011-07-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

Me and my pal Roggs took our beasts to dinner on Monday night. She had just gotten back from vacation and I had just eaten most of the food in the world, so we went to Ziggy's Healthy Grill. It's a health conscious place (most everything is cooked healthy oils or no oils if possible...the fries are sweet potatoes and the salads are DIVINE)...but they don't really offer up nutrition information (which I find bizarre - and probably means the stuff isn't as healthy as they like to promote).

Nonetheless, we took the beasts to dinner...but there was no one else at the restaurant...which was good because screaming babies didn't bother anyone but us, but bad because there was no one else to drown out my screaming baby. Ha. (Roggs' baby didn't scream so much as squeal...she is just a loud one!)

When the waittress came over to take our order she lurked for a minute too long before addressing our table. It was just a little wierd. But hey, we were in Montrose. Weird lurking people are pretty par for the course 'round those parts. But when she did finally decide to talk to us, she apparently told us about the specials...but I could barely hear her because the giant booger in her nose was talking louder than her.

I'm telling you, it was the biggest booger I have ever seen in my life. Ever. On anyone. It was so big that I wasn't sure if it was a booger or if it was a nose ring. It was THAT big. Huge.

I didn't hear a single word that she said about the specials.

I asked Roggs if she knew what the specials were and she said, "No, I couldn't hear over the booger."

Yeah. I'm telling you. Biggest. Booger. Ever. Only babies can get away with boogers like that.  The good news is that, unlike my adorable booger filled child, this chick is capable of picking her own. When she came back, it was gone. Apparently booger shaped nose rings aren't as fashionable as I had once thought.

I ordered the salad.

*********************************
In exercise related news, my race in 3 weeks away - ahhh!! I have been picking up the running mileage - I am now at a respectable 4 miles and a pitiful 5 miles, but I'm getting there! I'm gonna shoot for running 6 again this weekend at a normal pace (I went way slow last weekend just to make sure I got it done).

I am feeling good, but my legs are pretty wasted. I ran 6.5 on Saturday, took Sunday off (because my BFF was in town and we went Owling - ha), did 5 and weights on Monday, biked 20 and ran 1 on Tuesday, 5 and weights on Wednesday, and now, after 2 hours of sleep, I am trying to get motivated to bike at lunch today...but truthfully, I'm not sure if my legs will hold out.

I will probably take it easy the week of my race - not because I really need to taper before a sprint tri, but because I've increased my volume so much in the last few weeks that my body will probably just need a break.

For now, I'm hoping to swim in about 12 minutes (500 meters), bike in about 40 minutes (13.5 miles = 20-21mph), and run in about 32-33 minutes (3.65 miles = 9 min/miles).

The swim will be a crapshoot. You have to actually train on something to have a vague idea of how it will go...and I have been in the water once since before Anna was born (we are going on about 5 months now). And that was at my last race. Ha. Oh well! We are going to swim this weekend (swimming is the sport that is REALLY hard to do with a baby, FYI - it just takes too much time!) and then I will have a better grasp of what I can do on race day I think.

I'm relatively confident in my biking ability - I've been KILLING it on the trainer.  I haven't been biking outside, so I don't actually know how fast I've been going, but I've been feeling good and sweating a lot. That's got to be a good sign, eh? Or I could just be really out of shape. We will find out! (It's definitely hard to find time to bike outside, but finding time on the trainer is pretty easy)

On the run, it will just be about willpower. I know I CAN do it....it will just be a matter of MAKING myself do it. I'm gonna wear The Green Silence (my racing flats), so that should motivate me to run faster. You can't wear racing flats and dillydally. It's just wrong.

I am so excited! I love racing! I wish I was gonna look better in my spandex, but alas, this is the squishy body that I was given. Avert your eyes!

Owling About Town.

2011-07-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't stay home all day and watch tv, I've got news for you. Owling is the new planking. And for those of you who are saying, "what the hell is planking?". Well, I've got news for you too. You are behind on the times my friend. Behind the times.

Planking is all the rage. Mostly for teenagers. Or adults hopped up on caffiene. It's also apparently dangerous. Whic is ridiculous because according to Wikipedia, it's alternate name is also called the Lying Down Game. Lying down is probably the safest of all activities in the world. But you know, if you lay down on your roof, you're an idiot. Nonetheless.

This picture has inspired me to take pictures of Anna planking. I bet planking is a SIDS risk. Tragic.

Somebody give that baby a planking!

BUT. Planking is out and Owling is in. Thank goodness I have friends like LD and Tater who fill me in on these things now because my daytime TV watching is lacking and I miss it. I know I said that Brooke Sheilds at The Addams Family was irritating, but I miss. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. They took paradise and put in a parking lot.

Since my pal Amac was here from Dallas (yayy for friends visiting!), we owled about town. We went on a run with our friends on Saturday morning and finished it off with breakfast at Yale Street Grill (home of the crispy hash browns...yum!). (Sidenote: I ran 6.5 miles!! HOORAY!)

Tater, owling it up on the newspaper stand.

After running and post-run calorie consumption, we took naps and went shopping on Westheimer (home of the clothes that are too trendy for me) and then took the Anna to dinner at our neighborhood bar and grill. Tommy took Anna home early so Amac and I could party like it was 1999, so we ordered a 2 liter bottle of wine (because they apparently sell those there) and consumed it. Then called Tater who joined us for some beers and some late night owling.

Late Night Owling. Burns more calories than Taco Cabana.

Then, because we are old and I just had a baby, we left at like 11PM because, let's be honest, I cannot party like it's 1999 anymore. I tried though, I really did. We came home, watched Ferris Bueller (SEE? We were really trying for the 1999 thing...) Then on Sunday, we met Janelle and Thomas for breakfast at Coco Crepes (home of the delicious bananas foster crepe) where Anna worked on her Jackie O impressions.

Anna and Aunt Amac.

Oh, and BTW, this morning on the radio, Rod Ryan was talking about how owling is the new planking. We are so trendy.

Quick Updates...Only Because It's Been Forever Since I Last Blogged.

2011-07-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

I'm really glad I bought semi-stylish maternity clothes. I had no idea that I would STILL be wearing them. My entire outfit today is maternity. Stretchy pants rock, but I kind of miss belts.

Apparently, I can't remember to put on deodorant anymore. This is the third day since I've been back at work that I've forgotten to put it on. Thank goodness for my gym bag.

What to do when people make TERRIBLE spelling mistakes on Facebook? Not just a typo, but like, the wrong word all together? Should you help them? I hate seeing my friends get dummer*. "Conscience" and "conscious" are not the same word. FYI. Nor are "affect" and "effect". And don't get me started on "irregardless".

Since my belly button is so freakishly deep now (it was freakishly deep before...now it's even worse...if you can possibly fathom that), it is collecting all sorts of artifacts. I wouldn't be surprised to find a dinosaur fossil in there.

It's Anna's 3 month birthday! Happy birthday Miss Anna! I'd buy you cupcakes (because any excuse for cupcakes is a good one), but I can't wear stretchy pants forever and I can't afford a new wardrobe, so Project Weight Loss is underway. And in case you didn't follow, Project Weight Loss does not include the consumption of cupcakes.

Dear lord mom. That outfit...[shudder]...

We started giving the beast bottles pretty early on (which was awesome, btw)...and we couldn't figure out why sometimes she would choke and sputter and drool and splatter milk everywhere. Then one day, I was like, "Hey Tommy, some of these nipples have numbers on them". And Tommy was all, "Hey, let's google it". And we determined that we had been feeding her with nipples fit for a 3 year old. No wonder the kid couldn't keep it all down.

Lucky for me, newborns are not quite as fragile as they appear to be. There are just too many damn instructions to read - no one could keep up. No pregnant woman knows what to read and no new mom actually has that kind of time...soooo, my house is kind of one giant booby trap.

The best thing about being back at work is morning talk radio. Oh, how I missed morning talk radio.

Had my first hangover on Saturday morning. Learned my lesson! Hangovers and babies do not mix. Nor do long runs in the heat of the day or massages. All of which I did with a hangover. Not optimal. Game night was fun...Things in a Park that start with J??
****************************

Workouts are going GREAT! My running group started up for the season and I quickly realized A. how much I missed working out with people and B. that running while talking is hard. I will attempt to run 6 miles on Saturday with them (and my BFF who is coming in town to play!)...we will see how that goes. It is a 50% increase over my longest run lately. I think we can safely say that that is higher the recommended 10% increase. (not to be redundant for you math geniuses out there) Ooops. Bridgeland Sprint Tri is in 3 weeks...and since I forgot to sign up for the Athena division (CRAP!), I will attempt to be more competitive so I don't embarrass myself. Probably should have thought that through a little more. Probably should go to the pool. At least once. Probably.

*Yes, I no that's not how you speel it.

International Travel

2011-07-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

Did you know that infants need passports? Yeah. They do. Which is ridiculous, by the way. Because we took passport pictures of her and we travel in 7 months...which means that she will look nothing like she does now. Totally NOT a waste of my time.

Nonetheless, you have to have a passport for an infant and we are going to Mexico for a wedding in December, so the beast will have a passport. Unfortunately, taking a picture of an infant who cannot hold her own head up is like pulling teeth (and hysterical...unlike pulling teeth).

We are highly amused by these.

And then we got to hang out at the passport office for 2.5 hours with an infant. What an awesome system. Luckily, I think she left some crap (yeah, like actual crap) on the floor there. Payback is a bia!

********************

In other news, I started back to work this week. In very un-momlike fashion, I enjoyed almost every single minute of my first day. That said, I spent a good portion of my day looking at pictures of her on my phone (don't tell my boss how much they paid me to do that), but I loved being back at the office, talking to people, solving problems, using the non-babytalk side of my brain, and having a reason to brush my teeth.

I loved staying home with her (WAY more than I thought I could/would) but I was definitely ready to get back in the work force. I took 11.5 weeks off - which was right about what I needed. I started getting really antsy at about 10 weeks and then I had another week to get my ducks in a row...it was perfect. 3 days in, I am tired but overall, work is work. Some parts of it are good, some parts of it are bad...but as an engineer, I CRAVE routine and schedules and spreadsheets. And there are only so many spreadsheets you need for an infant (and I didn't actually have any). I considered making a spreadsheet of her sleep and awake cycles, but since she doesn't sleep during the day AT ALL, the spreadsheet would have been quite short.

I've given myself the week off from working out. But since my office has a great gym, I was able to get an abs class and some weights in yesterday and toda, I woke up early and got 25 minutes on my bike trainer and there is a quick class at lunch again that I will take. So the week won't be a total wash. Next week I will start to try to get workouts in before work - it will be an interesting balancing act, but since Tommy and I are the masters at schedule juggling, I'm sure we will figure it out. AND next week Tommy and I will start alternating middle of the night feedings...right now, Tommy has been doing it because I was pumping in the middle of the night, but that has stopped now that I am back at work. Hopefully the beast will start sleeping through the night soon and life can get some sort of routine!

AND (so many changes!) my track workouts with my group start next week. I cannot wait. It's been a LOOOONG time since I've done speed work...and while I am terrified, I know it will be worth it in the long run. Hooray!

The Daily Grind

2011-06-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day home with my beast. I can't believe it. In honor of this momentous occasion, I give you some pictures of my gorgeous crotch parasite. Once I start using a computer regularly again, I will start blogging regularly again. I hope. I haven't even been reading blogs. I just watch Channel 13 all day long. The problem with never changing the channel is that you have to see the same person get interviewed over and over and over again. The other day, I watched Brooke Shields promote The Addams Family about 18 times. Or that video of the kid getting eaten by the lion? Yeah. A lot of times. I love my little, adorable, huggable nugget, but man, I miss adults.

But now, some gratuitous photos of my wonderful baby girl...

So bashful.

Scary bear!

Anna and her mean friend Mia.

Bored at a triathlon. Again.

First (and only) trip to church.

Streeeeetch!

I hate you mom.

Apparently Nana doesn't care that I spit up all over myself.

Nana is fun!

I'm cute.

Dogs love me.

Father's Day brunch.

Silly mommy.

11 Weeks Old with Lenny the Terrible.

Ha.

We dress all of our creatures in costumes. This is just the beginning.

My Motherly Advice

2011-06-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends about new baby stuff, pregnancy and labor and delivery...and seeing as how I have sooo much experience, I thought I would offer up my motherly advice.

1. Find a nice man. Let him get you pregnant. If you choose to sleep with a man who is less than amazing, wear your seatbelt.

2. Find a doctor who believes what you believe. Seriously. If you don't agree with what your doctor tells you (assuming what you are asking about is reasonable), find a new doctor. This person will have the ability to make life and death decisions regarding the health of you and your baby - you want to be on the same page as them.

3. Although cost prohibitive, an iPad has been my BFF throughout my staying at home days. We got one for free, (otherwise I would never have purchased one), but seriously. I am nothing without my iPad. What did moms do before iPads? I have no idea. The internet is the stay-at-home moms BFF.

4. Figure out what makes you happy and find a way to do that during pregnancy and after the baby is born (as much as possible). For me, it's running and triathlon. We got a really good jogging stroller and I take my beast out almost every day. For some it's reading or shopping or paintball. Keep doing that. It doesn't have to be as much as you did pre-baby, but make the time sometimes. And if anyone throws 140bpm in my face again, I'm gonna hurt them. Most people can barely cook dinner without their heart rate getting that high.

5. Be the kind of parent YOU want to be. Listen to everyone's advice and filter out what you want...and then make it work for you. And when the annoying people on the elevator say that their doctor told them not to take their baby out of the house until they are 2 months old, just smile and say, "How'd that work out for you when you had a second kid?" and walk away.

6. If you do not think that poop is amusing, I would highly recommend rethinking the whole baby thing.

My favorite baby products are:

BOB Ironman jogging stroller
iPad
Woombie (the perfect swaddling tool if you have a screamer/flailer and cannot get them swaddled in blankets)
Aden + Anais swaddling blankets (but they only work now that she doesn't scream all day)
Bouncer
Movie channels on TV

I'm pretty sure I could survive with just the items above at this point. We don't use bottle warmers or wipe warmers...the Anna drinks ice cold milk and gets her tush wiped with cold wipes. Oh, the horror! It's like a third world country over here.

So far, my beast and I are having a blast. My only terrible experience was driving to Dallas on Sunday, alone with 2 dogs and Anna (although, I was hardly alone). I'm telling you, it was awful. It was worse than when I evacuated for Hurricane Rita...and that took 2 days. I may not be able to return home because the fear of that drive has me trembling in my britches. Seriously. It was so bad. Do not attempt a 5 hour drive on your own with a 7 week old because if you do, it will take about 7 hours and all of the sanity you can possibly muster.

This is dumb.

2011-06-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

My Ironman envy has led me to sign up for a triathlon. On Sunday. 7 weeks after hatching a nugget. 3 months since I last rode a bike. 10 months since I actually rode outside. 3 months since I last swam. And about a year since I actually looked decent in spandex. It's not gonna be pretty.

I will be heading to the Tejas Tri on Sunday morning for my first triathlon since Anna arrived. What was I thinking? In addition to the fact that I am WILDLY under prepared, me in spandex is something no one should ever see right now. I'm gonna bring blindfolds to pass out to the spectators, lest they be blinded by the sight of me. [shudder]

I got the wild hair to register on Monday (race is the coming Sunday). Before I registered I wanted to get on my bike to make sure I was capable of actually biking 12 miles. But since I have a baby, I wasn't able to get out on the roads, so I just made sure I could bike for 45 minutes on the trainer. CHECK! I used to be able to bike 12 miles in about 34 minutes...now I think I will be lucky to conquer the distance in 45. If I can average 18mph, I will feel like a rockstar. I wasn't able to get to the pool this week, so the first time I swim will be right before the race when I warm up. I don't normally warm up, but I will probably make an exception this time. It seems like the safe thing to do. And the running will be questionable...I know I can run 3 miles with walk breaks, but I have no idea what that will look like after swimming and biking. I've done 0 swim workouts, 0 bricks and 1 bike workout in preparation for this race. To say that I am underprepared would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, I am super excited. I love to race (although, I'm not sure you can say that I will do tomorrow will technically be racing). I can't wait to get back in the swing of things. Unfortunately, as I type this I am not feeling too hot, so tomorrow is even more questionable than it was a few hours ago. Hahaha. Either way, I know I will have fun. AND because I am officially overweight now, I get to race in the Athena division - hooray!

If I can swim in 15 minutes, bike in 45 and run in about 35, I will be happy. I have absolutely no idea if this is a reasonable goal.

***********

I wrote the above post on Saturday and raced on Sunday but never got around to posting. Sooooo, here it is/was.

The race was AWESOME. I had so much fun. I was so excited to be in the midst of it all again - the race excitement is always a crazy boost! It was a small local race, which means a small field, but lots of friends racing and spectating. Because I haven't lost all (or any) of my baby weight, I qualified to race in the Athena division - 150+ pounders - which I figured would make me more competitive. Last year I raced in the 25-29ers and got 4th place and I knew I wouldn't be able to duplicate that performance...especially since I aged up to the 30-34ers and that's a much harder age group.

Race morning we loaded up the beast in her Under Armor gear (OMG - so freaking cute) and drove 40 minutes to the suburbs. I got my bike all set up, peed about 4 times and got into the nasty subdivision pond for a warm up swim. Holy crap. I am out of shape. I swam about 200 yards to warm up and my arms were BURNING. This didn't bode well, but I knew that regardless, I could survive swimming 600yards...I just may tread water and breast stroke to make it happen.

I was in the 4th wave - with the Athenas and the 40+ women - and the gun went off! I started out near the back of the pack and kind of stayed there but battling with the people was a real challenge. Not only am I not used to swimming, I'm not used to having to fight for my right to swim. It was tough going. I was very glad I was still able to breathe bi-laterally. Once I got warm, I actually felt okay...the water was too gross to really enjoy it, but overall, it was nice. I finished in 12:43...about 30 seconds slower than I swam it last year. Moral of the story, swim training does me absolutely no good. I was in amazing shape last year...and saved myself 30 seconds. I doubt you will catch me doing much swim training this year!

Getting out of the water was tough - you forget how hard going from horizontal to vertical can be - and I was off running! I got my bike and headed out for 12 miles of flat Texas roads! The bike was pretty fun...I LOVE biking fast. I had no idea what an appropriate speed was, so I just pedalled at a moderate pace and was having fun. The some guy passed me and commented on my fancy bike and I realized I was not doing my full carbon beauty justice with my slow speed so I picked it up. Haha. Sometimes it just takes a little motivation. I missed the turnaround and ended up biking about an extra half mile but I think I averaged about 20mph for 12 miles. I was happy with my time but I had no idea how that would affect my run!

I saw Tommy and Anna coming in off the bike and I threw on my running shoes and started running. I knew I was going out WAY too fast - an 8 minute mile is just ridiculous - but I wasn't able to really slow down. My plan was to run about 9 min mile-ish and then walk for a minute through the water stops. When I got the first stop, I got my water and was planning to walk but then I saw Tommy and couldn't make myself do it. Haha. Stupid pride. I kept running but slowed down finally. I walked quite a bit on the last mile but still averaged about 9 minute miles overall.

I finished in 1:16:35...about 5 minutes slower than my time last year. I cannot believe it. I am so happy that not only did I do well, but that I had fun. I was so worried I wouldn't have fun and my motivation would go away but I loved it and it was fabulous (minus the spandex part of the day) and I CANNOT wait until August when I get to race again. And the best part is that I got 1st place in the Athena division! Hahaha. Who knew?

1st Place Athena!

I love racing. I am so so SO happy to be back in the game. I can't wait to see what the rest of the season holds.

Anna the Beast at 7 Weeks Old

Ironman Envy!

2011-05-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

Ironman Texas was this past weekend and now that the initial exhaustion is over, I can blog. I'm telling you now, spectating Ironman is almost as hard as racing it. Spectating is a sport and I am sore from my participation.

Tommy raced like a champ and I know we are all glad the race is over and behind us! He didn't really want to race (he did not enjoy his experience in Cozumel) but signed up because I wanted him to...and then I got pregnant. Ooops. But he put in the long hours of training before Anna arrived and did what he could once she was here. It wasn't the optimal training season, but it is what it is!

I dropped Tommy off in the Woodlands on Friday night so he could stay at the hotel and get a decent nights sleep before the race. I came home and spent the evening packing for a day in the sun with a newborn. Ha.

#915 Ready to Rock!!

In traditional triathlon fashion, we ran into just about everyone we know at bike check in. I heart the tri community.

#160 will be using a stroller for the bike portion of the race. Anna was not amused.

I wasn't sure Anna and I would make it for the swim in the morning, but we did! We got there in time to see the 1st pro get out of the water and to see Tommy get his bike! I had to wake up at 2AM to get there, but I am so glad we did. She had this adorable UnderArmour outfit that my mom's BFF sent to me...she wore it for all of 20 seconds before she shat all over it.

Baby running gear. OMG.

Heat makes baby comatose.

Tommy headed out for 112 beautiful miles!

He gave us a kiss before rolling out. It was then that I realized I was covered in poop. So romantic. I didn't see many of my other friends get on their bikes because I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning poop off my hands, my camera, the Anna, the diaper bag and the carseat. I stuck her in the Bjorn so the carseat could dry out a little and we watched the end of the swim. And then I had to go to the port-a-potty. With Anna in the Bjorn. Triathlon is a nasty nasty sport.

After most of the people had left for the bike, Anna and I went to the hotel for snacks and naptime. And air conditioning. I love air conditioning.

The hardest part of the day was not actually toting a 5 week old baby around outside all day (alone), but the logistics of it all. How do you pack enough cold breastmilk to last all day without breaking your back or tipping over your stroller? How do you pump without having to go back to the hotel every 3 hours? How do you pack enough food and drink for yourself? How do you plan on enough diapers and clothes for blowouts? What if the stroller gets too hot? Don't forget the Bjorn. Or the clip-on fan. Or the mosquito netting. Or your camera. Or phone. Or wallet. Oh dear lord. The logistics of it all were enough to essplode the brains of a small village of geniuses. Let's be honest though, I LOVE logistics and I was kind of in hog heaven planning for all the possible risks and doing it all as minimalistically as possible. I even remembered toilet paper for port-a-potty trips and a small jar of dish soap so I could wash bottles. I mean, if you ever need a logistics planner, I'm your gal. That said, if I had to do it all over again, I would have packed her powdered formula for the day so I wouldn't have to worry about keeping breastmilk cold...but I didn't think of that genius idea until 2am when I was getting ready to leave, and I decided 2am was not the appropriate time to learn how to make a bottle of formula. The milk thing worked out just fine though. It was messy, but the Anna had food!

Anna and I spent the day wandering between groups of friends, tracking down Tommy and just enjoying the great outdoors. It was balls hot, but we were expecting WAY worse, so all in all, it was a gorgeous day. the breeze on the canal made things very bearable. And the heat kind of made Anna comatose (bonus!)...she was a champ all day long!

After naptime, our first stop was to hang out at the end of the bike course so we could see Tommy coming into T2. He finished looking strong!! Then we went to join our friends to hang out on the run course at about mile 0.5. The run course was 3 loops - each about 8 miles long - so I was able to see Tommy at mile 0.5 and then cross the canal and see him again at about mile 5.

Mile 0.5ish. Looking strong but says he feels like death.

Anna and I crossed the canal and caught up with him around mile 5!

Looking good at Mile 5!

That's one good lookin' piece of ace right there.

A daddy and his girl. She says, "Dad, this triathlon sh1t is hot. Can we go home now?"

We spent the day wandering between groups of friends...I walked at LEAST 10 miles (if not 13-15), pushing a jogging stroller in flip flops. The flops were not my smartest decision. I had a blast seeing friends, watching the race and tracking down Tommy at various points on the course. I may or may not have cried several times throughout the day - sometimes due to jealousy and sometimes just because I get so overcome by Ironman. I just love it soooo much!

He loves the horsey dance.

My husband is hot.

We saw Tommy for the last time around mile 22 and walked with him for a mile or so. He was really hurting but was almost done!! I had realized earlier in the day that there was no way I was going to be able to get close to the finish line with my giant stroller so I jumped ship when we got close to transition and headed down to get his bike and gear bags so I could take them back to the hotel and he wouldn't have to worry about them when he was done. Unfortunately, at this point, I was kind of done - Anna was chillin' in the Bjorn and my shoulders were hurting, my feet were hurting because I was an idiot and wore flip flops, and I kept picking the wrong side of transition to try to get into. Pushing that stroller through sh1ttons of people is like trying to fit my post-partum ass in my pre-pregnancy jeans. Unpleasant for everyone involved.

I ran into an old friend of mine from college, the lovely and wonderful Cayla (who gets her meat for free) and her mom and sister. They asked if there was anything if they could do for me and offered to get Tommy's bike and gear bags for me. I didn't realize exactly how tired I was until that moment. I started crying out of gratitude. They saved me another quarter mile of walking through transition and then Cayla helped me steer Tommy's bike back to the hotel. These women pretty much saved my sanity that night. I seriously had no idea how exhausted I was until they offered to help. Apparently spectating Ironman with an infant on 3 hours of sleep is less than optimal. Ha. I seriously owe them big time. THANKYOUGUYSSOMUCH.

I got back to the hotel and was planning on taking a quick shower and then packing up the Anna in the bjorn to try to brave the finish line, but Tommy called and said he was done and was heading back so I just packed up the room.

He didn't quite have the race he had hoped for, but he still did amazingly well considering the heat and his training hadn't been optimal at the end. I am so proud of him for sticking it out and finishing despite not really wanting to. He is so strong!

The finishers chute of Ironman Texas. There is really nothing like it. A.Maze.Ing.

Tommy, you are an Ironman!

We realized when we got back that his morning clothes bag was not in the gear bags we got from transition so I had to trek back down to the finish line to find that bag...whoever decided not to put all the gear bags in the same place is a dumbass and I hate them. But whatever. We got packed up and headed out and finally got home around 11:30PM. I bathed Anna and put her to bed and finally, after being awake for 24 hours, I crawled into bed around 2...and slept like I had just finished an Ironman.

I am so proud of Tommy for putting in the hours of training required to finish this race. And not only that, he did it while being an amazing husband becoming a new father. He is amazing and goes above and beyond in loving and taking care of Anna and I. We are so lucky to have him.

And now we are all so lucky that it's over. Haha. It was a huge stress on all of us the last few months and I think we are all glad that it is finally over. Tommy can relax, focus on work, us, and some Honey-dos that have been stressing him out...and I get to take advantage of his lack of exercising to focus on my own fitness and my race in August. :)

Congrats to the most wonderful husband, bestest friend, and loving father in the whole world - you are an Ironman! Again!

Portable Peeing Devices.

2011-05-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

I've decided that someone needs to make a Sneaky Leaker for Miss Anna. Or a She-Wee. Or something, because seriously, this diapering thing is out of control. Yesterday was a 4 bath day and today we were on our third outfit by 9am. I've lost track of the outfit count at this point.

4 weeks old and modeling baby denim. There is little else in this world that is more cute than baby denim.

I learned of the She-Wee when Tommy and I first got into triathlon and I was curious what women did during races. If you google "women peeing in triathlon", the She-Wee is the first link. Stay classy triathletes. I never did purchase the She-Wee, because I quickly learned the peeing your pants is totally acceptable while racing and I quickly mastered this skill. I recommend not touching me post-race. And not biking behind me. And, in general, if I am sitting on a curb in the middle of the run, I'm fine...just trying to preserve my socks. Regardless, making a baby sized version of this would sell like hotcakes (or bagels if you are Heidi Klum).

Triathlon is gross.

In exercise related news, the running is going really well. I am LOVING being outside but I am still slower than crap and sooo out of shape. The little underpasses in my neighborhood (we don't have hills, just underpasses and overpasses), used to be cake, but now they are a force to be reckoned with. Especially against the wind. Pushing a jogging stroller. So much pain! I ran today with my friend Merry and it was wonderful. It's amazing how much better I can feel when I don't run in the heat of the day and can leave the Anna at home. I was a running champion!

I signed up for my first post-baby race. It's a sprint tri in August - I hope I have enough time to prepare. My only goal is to not embarrass myself. I'd like to bike 20mph and run 8:30s...if I can do that, I will be COMPLETELY happy. I haven't been on a bike yet (the fear of the teeny tiny seat hasn't gone away yet), but I'm hoping I didn't lose too much of that fitness since I was spinning up until the last month of pregnancy...we will see!

I may also try to do a few 5k and 10ks this summer, but since triathlon is my first love, it's also top priority on the list! Tommy is racing Ironman Texas next weekend and he will rock it - even though the last 5 weeks of training were probably not what one would want their last 5 weeks to look like leading up to an IM. He will be amazing. And either way, training on no sleep because of living with a newborn is no small feat! I am so proud of him! But afterwards, I get to race...and I am soooo excited!!

Stop looking at me. Or else.

I may have a little Nazi baby. She is a work in progress.

Winner!

Heisman Trophy Winner!

I love my daddy!

Brag.

2011-05-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

The intent of this post is entirely to boast the cuteness of my little monster. If that nauseates you, and it should, I recommend that you stop reading now. However, if you live in the greater Houston metro, I recommend you look through this photos and then call Studio Ainsley Photography to set up your next photo session. This woman is a genius.

My wonderful family!

Adorable little monster!

This was my grandmothers chair - we just had it dry cleaned because she was a huge smoker and it reeked but I LOVED the chair and needed it in my house. We were so afraid of Anna pooping all over it, but she didn't. We were so proud. And then Donny came outside and peed all over it. Asshole dog.

My gorgeous child and my ridiculous addiction to Etsy.

How she was able to get this picture is absolutely baffling to me. I worship her.

My cute nugget!

Darn you Etsy and your extreme cuteness!

Etsy took most of my paycheck this month. Totally worth it.

This is the face that Anna made for most of her first 2 weeks.

This is the face we WISH she had made for most of her first 2 weeks.

I apologize if you have vomited on yourself. Send me a bill. I will pay your dry cleaning.

Hiatus!

2011-05-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Hopefully my hiatus is over, but let's be honest, since I don't get out of the house all that much, not that much is happening to me outside of explosive diarrhea and spit up. That is not to say that explosive diarrhea is not hysterical (when it is happening on someone else), but just to say that it happens so often that really, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the blog.

The first two weeks of Anna's life were rough...she did nothing but scream 24 hours a day. She didn't sleep...she just screamed. But we got her all loaded up on Prevacid and Zantac (for reflux) and she is like a new little baby. She is still pretty fussy and doesn't sleep much, but she isn't inconsolable...DRASTIC improvement. We will take it!

2 Weeks Old and Terrified of Leonardo the Terrible Monster

3 Weeks Old and Still Hating Lenny.

At 8 days old, Tommy and I couldn't take the confinement to the house much more, so we ventured out to the neighborhood bar/restaurant. We loaded up our little monster, walked the few blocks, and of course she started screaming the minute we arrived...but I think the heat finally knocked her out and we were able to enjoy a glass of wine and a tasty dinner. It was magical.

Our first outing. We made sure to get a table in the back, near the exit should we need to make a hasty escape.

At one point, in the middle of the night, I came downstairs to find Tommy and Anna, both butt naked because the poop had gotten so out of control that both individuals required baths. I went back to bed. :) They say to sleep when the baby sleeps...but since our baby doesn't really sleep, I figure I can sleep when she poops on someone. It's the perfect arrangement. I'm so rested.

I don't think she wants to go to LSU.

I've started running again...and it's UGLY. Like really ugly. Me and my BOB have some getting to know each other to do. That thing is heavy and not particularly aerodynamic. And you wouldn't think an 8lb baby would be all that hard to push, but you try to run while carrying an 8lb weight and see how it feels. Then push it in a giant un-aero stroller. Ow. My arms hurt. But, I'm running and it is AMAZING. I'm trying to ease back into it, so I'm starting with 5/1's for 3 miles and then next week, I will ramp up to 6/1's and then the next week 7/1's, etc...until I get to running the full 3 miles...then I will increase the mileage. It's painful, but man, it feels soooo good to be out there sweating again.

Anna's only running gear. I think she needs some tech-tees.

Anna's First Run! Anna, you are an Ironman!!

My mom came in town this week - it was Tommy's first week back at work - and it was soo good to have her here. It really does take a village to raise a baby! Haha. Having a spare pair of hands around was amazing. And then my sister came for the weekend and we had a great time!

We were discussing who Anna looks like and we found this picture of my mom...my mom and Anna could be twins.

Mom

Anna, aka Mom's Twin

3 Generations!

Workout of the Day

2011-04-21T00:46:00.000-07:00

I walked to the mailbox today. Man, that sh1t is far away.

That said, the stairs in my house are no longer the daunting task that they were during pregnancy. I can actually walk up them without having to take a break mid-way.

My body looks a lot like it did in college. A little swollen, big boobs, and a beer gut. Although, back then, it was due to the beer. And tequila. And whiskey. And cheese fries. Oh, the cheese fries.

My goal for Friday is to walk our street. It's about a half mile long...so there and back will be a mile. It's our usual dog walking path, but I will probably do it without the pugzys because it will likely take me at least an hour. Stupid stitches. Making me an invalid. I was watching The Biggest Loser tonight (BTW - what is UP with all the bungee jumping? I don't watch this show to watch bungee jumping or to hear stupid metaphors about life that are related to bungee jumping. I watch it for the workouts and the weight loss. End rant.) and was VERY jealous of their workouts. And then I looked through all my friends pics who ran Boston (shout out to Audrey who ran Boston for the first time! Congrats!). And then through the NOLA 70.3 pics (special shout out to Allison who raced her first 70.3 in New Orleans this past weekend! Even though the swim was cancelled, she rocked it!). And then the MS150 pics... I was GREEN with envy. Green I say! Soon, little Paduwon. Soon.

In baby news, this is funny. That said, you know you are hormonal when this makes you cry so hard that you can't even it read it aloud to your husband. Dear lord. The hormones.

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.

-Tina Fey

Lover by Day...

2011-04-20T05:03:00.000-07:00

...Screaming banshee by night. If she were a teenager, all the other kids would be calling her two-faced.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey say sleep when the baby sleeps. But, unfortunately, I did not automatically become nocturnal just because I gave birth. Soooo, that's a bunch of whooey. That said, I'm probably getting about 4 hours of sleep a day, which is about what I got pre-baby, so I am doing pretty good.

@Erin - Yeah, I CANNOT believe how much hair she has, but really, it shouldn't be a surprise. My mom says I got my first haircut at 6 weeks...haha. The good news is that I have a use for those little baby combs they put in all the safety/grooming kits. Totally thought that was a joke. Ha.

@Pam - The dogs have been, well, interesting. Donny, the older, more docile and less attention seeking one, spends most of his day trying to lick her head and air hump her. It's really touching to watch. Dixie, the puppy, the wild but super sweet attention grubbing one, has been totally okay with her...he gets very interested and upset when she cries, which is interesting. They are both tall enough to see her in her pack-n-play, so they spend a lot of their day just looking at her...just like us. Ha. I had a little bit of a breakdown on Sunday when I felt guilty that they weren't getting the attention they need and deserve, but I think once we get back into the swing of things (and I am all healed up), they will get more snuggling again. Fingers crossed because they deserve it.

@Mary - Her skin isn't too teribly yellow yet, but the whites of her eyes are bright yellow...kind of creepy. It seems to be getting better though...tough to chase sun around in a townhouse though. Our sunlight is pretty fleeting.

Tommy made the trek to Central Market last night, we stocked up on fish, and I had a delicious dinner of sushi and champagne last night. There is nothing better than some salmon nigiri and a cold glass of bubbly (although, when it's just the two of us, we put our booze in plastic solo cups, but that's not the point...) Oh, how I missed the cold deliciousness of sushi.

I've watched more bad tv than I even knew existed. But I set the DVR to record Family Feud, so I will never miss my beloved Steve Harvey again. Phew.

Sunbathing!

Miss Anna!!

2011-04-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

After much ado about a lot of things, Anna is here!

I haven't had the chance to blog much because well, I have a newborn, but also because it is way easier to play on the internet on an iPad while nursing, but it is not easier to type a blog post on an iPad. An iPad is a lot of fun things, but a functional piece of technology, it is not.

Nonetheless, me and my little jaundiced baby are chasing sun around our house and I am currently at our desk...which makes typing a blog, albeit typing one handed, a much easier task.

The rest of this post is fairly TMI...but since you read my blog already, you are probably fully aware that I have no filter when it comes to sharing of information. Soooo, you've been warned.

**************************

A brief overview of my labor and Anna's subsequent delivery...

I got in on Wednesday night to start the process...I slept about 30 minutes that night. I don't know they expect ANYONE (nevermind someone with serious sleep issues) to sleep when they are having contractions, are tied up to a fetal monitor and an IV, are having their blood pressure taken every 30 minutes, having blood drawn about 7 times (side story!), and are probably going to have their life changed dramatically in the next day or so...so I was pretty pooped on Thursday.

On Thursday morning at almost exactly 7AM (which worked out perfectly for my Ironman timing comparison!), they started me on the pitocin which jumpstarted my contractions...and I jumpstarted my watch. Ha. My doc came and broke my water...with a knitting needle...and the real fun began. Our families arrived around 10:30 and while I tried to enjoy seeing them, I was in pain and wasn't really in the mood for chit chat. I decided to get the epidural around 12:30...I kind of thought the anethesiologist would take longer than he did, but alas, I was epiduralized by 12:45. My Family Feud was interrupted, but it was totally worth it.

The epi worked its magic and I was a whole new woman. My family came in and we chatted and hung out the rest of the afternoon. I wasn't feeling any pain (ie, not feeling the contractions at all) and had a really good time with my family. The nurse had told me that I would feel "pressure" when I was fully dilated and ready to go, but at 4:45PM, she came in to check me and said she could see hair...holy crap. I assumed we were still really far away from delivery since I hadn't felt anything...I was very taken by surprise. My doc showed up at 5 and we began the fun!

With an epidural, delivery is hard work - probably some of the hardest work I have ever done - but it was not painful in the slightest...and within about 45 minutes of pushing, little Anna was placed on my chest and a family of 3 was formed!

I thought I would be totally grossed out by how nasty the little monster was, but like everyone says, you just don't notice it. She was wonderful and beautiful and I felt so overcome with love...for her, for Tommy, and for our wonderful friends and family.

I aslo thought umbilical cords looked like red sausage links...um, no, they do not. They are blue, look like telephone cords and are HUGE. Like probably the diameter of a quarter huge. Holy crap.

I beat my Ironman finishing time by over 2 hours (hooray!) and when I went through the pictures, I cracked up that my husband knows me well enough to know that I would need this picture:

10 hours and 47 minutes of labor...I was done before the sun went down. It's every Ironman's dream!

Our family of 3. It's really a shame that labor and delivery are such hard work. There's just no way you could ever get a decent picture. At least Anna and Tommy look good.

After they fixed me up and I got to hold Miss Anna, they weighed her - a solid 8lbs 0.7oz of monster - and our families came in to see her. It was great being so pain free and relaxed to be able to enjoy the time with her and with them.

Then they took me to my recover room, where we went by the nursery and I got to see her one more time before they started all the mean things they do to newborns. They wheeled me by the nursery and I started crying when I saw her. And then they told me that that wasn't her. Ha. All newborns look exactly the same to me. Apparently this is her...but frankly, she looked identical to the one in the crib next to her, so who knows.

8lbs 0oz of Terror!

The cutest little baby I have ever seen. And I am sooo not a baby person. Although, maybe I am now.

Every morning at 6:30, all the babies are taken to the nursery for the nurse shift change...I had no idea this many babies existed in nature. Nevermind in one location. And this is only half of them.

The baby parade! The one next to the one with the blue thing on it has the giantest, bushiest eyebwrows I have EVER seen. Even on an adult. It would give Bert and Ernie a run for their money.

Miss Anna!

I will write more at some point and then I will get caught up on everyone else's blogs...stupid iPad and it's lack of blogger functionality...but until then, I leave you with this quick story about me getting my blood taken 37 times in the span of 3 days...

I have always thought I had o positive blood. I donated plasma twice a week in college for about 3 years (I was very poor!), I have donated blood every 8 weeks for the last 7 years (they come to my office so it's super easy) and when I got pregnant, they took my blood and verified that I am in fact, o positive. HOWEVER, when I got to the hospital on Wednesday, they took my blood and told me I am o negative. They took about 20 more vials to confirm this. They all came back o negative. APPARENTLY (now this is just so bizarre), I am o negative, but it has enough positive in it that I can't donate to o negative people. Not a single doctor we talked to has ever heard of such a thing. The hemotologist (blood doc) had never heard of such a thing. None the less, after giving the hospital most of the blood I have in my body, I still have absolutely no idea what my blood type is.

Update!

2011-04-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Just got my epidural...absolute heaven. That said, the anesthesiologist came during the only good daytime tv show-Family Feud. I missed hearing what 100 people say that "women find sexy about Robin Hood".

I love Family Feud.

It's Like a Hotel, Except That It Sucks

2011-04-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in the hospital...got my IV, my blood pressure cuff, and my fetal monitor all hooked up, and the nurse is surprised that I can't sleep. Ha.

We are seriously hoping that Anna is pretty because looks may be all she has if she isn't smart enough to find her way out of my womb. I'm pretty sure we can count on her living with us until she is 50.

iPads are cool. Blogging on them is less than cool.

Hopefully Anna arrives more quickly than my doctor expects...labor on 30 minutes of sleep and no caffeine could amount to a surge of obscenities. Such is life...I'm just starting the sleep deprivation one day early. Oh, and FYI, sneezing during a contraction hurts. Badly. I do not recommend it.

Good luck to all my wonderful friends running Boston, biking the MS150, and racing the NOLA 70.3! Much love and luck to you all!

Before I Was a Mom

2011-04-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

I will likely have a baby in less than two days (holy crap!). The fact that someone has deemed me mature enough to take on the role of caregiver to another human being is terrifying. I haven't really been emotional or hormonal throughout this pregnancy but in the last few weeks, I have kind of been a basketcase...I mean, holy crap.

And the hormones mean that my Lent promise of not cursing lasted about 20 minutes.

One of the blogs I read does a segment called Before I Was a Mom. I think most of the things people say they would never do are ridiculous, so I can only assume they are jokes - I mean, of course kids are going to eat pizza. Unless you plan on avoiding all birthday parties from now until the end of eternity, your kids will eat pizza. Or until they come up with an equally delicious and cheap alternative...which will never happen. Because pizza is awesome. Nonetheless, I tried to put together a little list of the things Tommy and I say we will never do...before we are parents.

Before I was a mom, I swore I:

Would never give my kid some outrageous amount of money for losing a tooth.
Would never let my kid have a TV in her room.
Would not make fast food eating a regular habit.
Would continue to stay active and teach my kid to love the great outdoors.
Will do everything within my power to remain flexible

We will see how this all plays out...I've got two days left of "Before I Was a Mom-ing". Holy crap.

Yesterday was my due date...and it came and went without any indication that Anna wants to join the real world. Apparently my womb is VERY cozy. I keep trying to tell her that her crib will be cozy too and that we have all sorts of fancy blankets, but she is stubborn. Like her dad (he rolls his eyes when I say this...I dunno why).

At 40 weeks pregnant, my belly button finally popped. That said, it's much squishier and softer than I expected it to be. It can be tamed with the panel on my pants. Thus far, I haven't gotten cankles or stretch marks, my acne has gone down to a respectable level, but I am the size of a house, I only have one outfit that fits, and I can only sit upright for about an hour at a time...I am soooo ready for this to end and to meet my little baby! I cannot believe I am still pregnant. I seriously cannot believe how much the human skin can stretch. I cannot believe how gigantic I have gotten.

40 Weeks Pregnant. Let's play MASH. Mansion, Apartment, Shack or House?

We have tried all the things to induce labor naturally (short of acupuncture and castor oil) and I can say, with complete authority that none of that crap works. I've walked no less than 4 miles a day for the last 3 weeks. I've eaten about 7 pineapples. We made the eggplant parmesan and I ate about 1.5 eggplants worth. We've had the s.e.x. I'm taking evening primrose oil. I'm eating spicy-er food (I hate spicy food, so this is a challenge). It's all a bunch of crap. BUT it has kept me thoroughly entertained, so I guess there is something to be said about that. Me and the pitocin will be BFF on Thursday. That sh1t better not be a joke too.

At my work baby shower, in addition to a bunch of wonderful gifts, we got an "It's a Girl" helium balloon. The shower was on March 18 and afterwards, we came home and tied it to our stairway railing. It is now April 12 and that balloon is still inflated.

The Birth Prediction Balloon.

We have determined that I will not go into labor until this balloon is deflated. I'm about to take a machete to the darn thing. I've never seen a helium balloon last this long.

Today is my last day of work, tomorrow is my last doctors appointment and then I will spend the day running errands, napping, and puttering around the house. Then we head to the hospital on Wednesday night...AHHHH! I've requested a Last Supper Dinner Date with Tommy, but we quickly determined that we can't go anywhere nice because the only outfit I have is cargo pants and flip flops. Ha.

I will update as soon as I can from the hospital...I'd update Facebook, but social networking sites are blocked at my hospital. WTH are we supposed to DO on the internet!?!?! I may go into withdrawl. I can get Facebook on my cell phone via the network, not internet, but STILL. It's small and I'm snobby.

Come on Little Anna! Your dad and I are soooo ready to meet you! And I am ready for your dad to hold you for once. :) We love you so much already...let's get the party started!!

Mister Heater, Oh.

2011-04-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

There is some grave concern over the robot aimed at my unborn child in this picture. No worries my pets, this is just Mister Heater, Oh.

Mister Heater, Oh.

He looks remarkably like the robot who befriends Robin Sparkles in How I Met Your Mother and he keeps us nice and toasty during those 3 wintry nights we experience in Texas. Brrr.

We also have a tendency to sing all 4 syllable names to the tune of Womanizer by Britney Spears...hence Mister Heater, Oh. Mister Heater.

But don't be alarmed. I was not attempting to beam my child out of me. Although, it's an interesting theory.

*********

Right now I just need to know exactly how much eggplant parm I actually need to consume...the recipe I followed servies approximately 17 and I think I have eaten about 14 of those servings. I am turning violet, Violet! Luckily, it's freaking delicious.

2011-04-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

39 Weeks.

And yes, I am still pregnant.

I had to get my drivers license renewed last week. The bad news is that I will look like Jabba the Hut on my drivers license for at least the next decade. The good news is that I totally got to cut in line. Totally worth it.

People answer the phone when I call. No matter what. Then I can sense the disappointment in their voices when they realize they paused the Sing-A-Long Grey's Anatomy to talk to me about paint drying and that no, I am not in labor.

My belly has gotten EXPONENTIALLY heavier in the last two weeks.

I am sad that I will not be that person who went running the day they went into labor. I am sad that I will not be that person who went swimming the day they went into labor. I am sad, overall, about the lack of activity in my life...but man, do you have ANY idea how much free time you have if you don't have to commute (I am working from home) AND you aren't working out? My days just got about 4 hours longer. It's pretty freaking amazing.

But, BUT, BUT I will be induced next Thursday, April 14 if I don't go into labor before then. HOORAY!

I feel a little overwhelmed by the news that I will in fact have a baby in a week (not that this is NEW news, but still...to have an end date makes it more final...). I feel like I want to putter and put the finishing touches on things, but I am so Type A, that everything has totally been done for weeks. (It's like our wedding...the week of the wedding I had no last minute errands to run...it was very anticlimatic...I folded laundry and went for a run the day of...) Soooo, instead of puttering, I am making Labor Inducing Eggplant Parmiggian...should be interesting.

4 more days of work until Maternity Leave! BONUS!

I cannot wait to meet Anna! Come on little kiddo - we are ready to meet you! And mama could use a big old martini...

Subway. Legend...

2011-04-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

...wait for it...I hope you're not lactose intolerant...dary!

I heart cheese. I heart bread. I HATE cheese on bread. So, sandwiches with cheese on them are pretty much out of the question. Grilled cheese sandwiches? [shudder] I may have thrown up a little bit in my mouth.

But when you go to Subway, they really want to put cheese on your sandwich. If you say, no thanks...they are like, really? So, I got to where I would say that "yes, I do want some cheese, but if you could just give it to me that would be great". Because, you know, cheese should be no where near a slice of bread. I never really thought much of it. I just got my two triangles of pepper jack and my sandwich and I ate them separately. It was the perfect solution.

I've been ordering my Subway sandwiches this way for years.

Tommy and I eat Subway semi-regularly. It's our go-to fast food joint. But since we don't eat fast food much (excluding the first 7 months of pregnancy), we don't eat there more than maybe once or twice a month...maybe. So this is to say that we haven't been to our neighborhood Subway often enough for the employees there to recognize us.

Unless you order your cheese on the side. Apparently.

Last week, we popped by Subway to grab some dinner becuase we were too lazy to go to the grocery store and therefore too lazy to cook. But since I am the approximate size of Jabba the Hut and don't exactly have a plethora of clothes to wear, I stayed in the car while Tommy went in to order me a delicious Turkey and Ham on white, spinach, MAS cucumbers and salt and pepper. And cheese on the side.

He came back out to the car, handed me my two delicious triangles of pepper jack, and said, "Yeah, so when I ordered your sandwich, the lady was like, "oh yeah, I know her"". Hahaha.

I'm a legend. Jared and I are already talking about our new marketing campaign.

Fluency at Life.

2011-03-31T04:57:00.000-07:00

So they (they being the powers that decide who is cool and who is not) say you become fluent in a language when you start to think or dream in that language. My friend, Kanon, moved to France and she said she knew she was fluent when she began talking for her cat (you know how crazy pet owners have voices for their pets?) in French. When we went to visit, her cat would talk to me in French, with a French accent. It was the craziest thing. This was the same weekend that Tommy got drunk and put on all of his underwear...to prove some point that I am sure was totally irrelevant to wearing 2 weeks worth of underwear...but alas...the wine had been flowing, so I may have just THOUGHT the cat was talking to me in French...

Point of this story is to say that I have deemed myself officially fluent in the language of the deaf. In my dreams last night, I kept saying, "what?" and "huh?" to the people I was talking to. I mean, really? In MY dreams, I don't know what the characters are supposed to be saying? It just seems wrong that I should need them to repeat themselves. I feel like my subconscious should be more efficient than that. I only get a couple hours of sleep a night. Do we really need to waste time having people repeat themselves? Me and Mr. Subconcious will be having a chat ASAP. Dreams should never be THAT similar to real life.

[Sidenote: I just tried to finish off a box of Lucky Charms only to realize there is WAY more in the box than I need/want. Now I HAVE to eat it because milk touched it. DRAMA at the hizzouse!]

[Seriousnote: Do you think people who are born deaf dream in spoken language or sign language (or possibly the written word)? ]

Let's Get the Party Started.

2011-03-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

It was an interesting week to say the least. And one that I am not sad to say is over. My only regret is that Anna is still not here...

Nonetheless, I had a giant pity party post that I was planning posting, but then my friend Allison wrote this incredibly sweet post on her blog and I am all of the sudden reminded of how lucky I am. Not that I had forgotten, sometimes you just need it put in perspective. And in the big scheme of things, my pity party is just pitiful. (This will not deter me from actually HAVING a pity party...it just means that I won't be writing about it at this exact moment...because, dude, 38 weeks pregnant is hard.) Let's all wish Allison good luck at her first 70.3 attempt in New Orleans in a few weeks - I will cheering you on from afar my dear! You will be AMAZING!

So, to sum up my pity party (not to whine, but to inform...the post I HAD written was VERY whiny, this is only moderately whiny):
I have been in a lot of pain since about Week 36. I spent Thursday and Friday of last week in the hospital. I was having a lot of trouble breathing (at rest) and was feeling really lightheaded. They ran a bunch of tests, but were unable to find the source of the infection (I had high white blood cell count). By Friday, the count had come down (still high, but lower than before) and they released me on bedrest. The good news is that bedrest alleviates most of my pain (yayy!). The bad news is that I don't tolerate bedrest well. I'm kind of a lazy sort, but I like to earn my laziness...I don't allow myself to just sit around. I have to run 10 miles to earn a few hours of trash tv. That's just how I roll. Sooo, this uninterrupted laziness is getting very, very, very old. Very. very, very quickly. And not having a schedule makes it hard to remember to brush your teeth. And that's just gross.

Me, hanging out with my oxygen mask.

At work, they started a pool to guess when Anna will arrive...$5 per entry, closest to the date/time wins...winner takes all. I selected April 1 and April 21...I really think she will come on Friday (only because Tommy will be about 5 hours away...) or April 21 because she hates me and wants me to suffer for as long as possible. :) Acting like a terd already. She gets it from Tommy.

But enough with the pity partying. I'm on bedrest, which is enough to make even the most inactive people go insane. But I am working from home, so at least I am occupied during the day...and then I make Tommy perform a song and dance when he gets home.

My mom is the cutest thing ever. She teaches 1st grade, and on Friday, they were working on letter writing...so she wrote me a letter. Love that woman.

All the important parts of the letter are circled.

All my whining about my lack of king cake worked! :) My father-in-law heard my plea and sent one over and OMG, most delicious thing ever. If you have never experienced a real New Orleans king cake (preferrably from Randazzo's), you haven't lived (and no, that crap they sell at Kroger is NOT the real deal). It was even 5 days old due to some issues with the UPS and STILL the most delicious thing ever. And the best thing about king cake is that you can eat it for breakfast. Thank ya Bill!

At some point last week, I became a full fledged pregnant woman with hormones and cravings and all those wonderful things you read about. Until then, I had just been in pain. Now, I get upset about it too. And I may or may not have cried when the washing machine took too long. Yeah. Hormones. Awesome. And I had my first craving...Sprite. MUST. HAVE. SPRITE. NOOOOOOOOOW. I don't like Sprite. But man, I gotta have me a Sprite and I gotta have me a Sprite at this moment. So, now, thanks to my wonderful husband, we have a refrigerator that is fully stocked with delicious and nutritious Sprite.

My dog licked my last two Tagalongs (or Peanut Butter Patties or WHATEVER). But dude, I'm still eatin' 'em. Those are the last two. I can't miss out on the peanut buttery goodness until next year. Stupid dog. Hope she brushed her teeth after she ate poop the other day.

All in all, I am one lucky gal...thanks for the reminder Allison. :) And man, that Ironman finisher video gets me everytime. If having Anna is even half as good as finishing that race was, she will be worth all the pain I am dealing with right now. Can't wait to meet our stubborn little girl...the fat lady is singing, so let's get this over with!

Super Moon Schmuper Schmoon

2011-03-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

I am officially harboring a full term baby in belly as of today. Anna has reached her 37th Week birthday and I am ready to get this show on the road. Anna apparently has very different ideas. She's wild and woolly already. Definitely doesn't get that trait from me.

Anyway, I haven't written lately because, well, I'm not feeling funny. I'm not Debbie Downer anymore, I'm just not thinking everything is funny like normal. I mean, I didn't even laugh out loud at Wipeout the other night. And I ALWAYS laugh out loud at Wipeout. I'm mostly just feeling fat and I'm in quite a bit of pain...so watching people whack themselves in the head with the Bouncy Balls just isn't as amusing as it normally is.

On Saturday night the Super Full Moon came 'round and I was fully hoping that the tidal forces would pull this baby out of me, but no cigar. I'm not normally a superstitious person, but I AM a person who is very tired of being pregnant, who was one day short of a full term baby and who was hoping with all her heart that Saturday would be the day. I even went outside and wagged my belly at the moon. For good luck you know.

No cigar. I did have a few contractions during the night that I totally tried to imagine into something more, but nonetheless, I just got a really restless nights sleep.

Dam you Moon and your super fullness.

I was able to start walking again last week and I think it had a HUGE impact on my morale. I love being outside and the past month being stuck inside was really doing a number on my sanity. I spent a few hours at the park almost everynight, walking, people watching, attempting to run (hahahaha), and just generally enjoying March in Texas. Gotta love it.

I completed my Labor and Delivery playlist - my iPad is uploaded and ready to rock. Hospital bag is packed, Anna's clothes are washed and loaded and my countdown has begun. One month from today is the day my doc says she will induce me if I haven't already gone into labor...soooo, one month from today I WILL have a baby. (OMG, I have to suffer for another month, heads will roll).

At our final ultrasound last week, it was confirmed that Anna is still a girl (and I saw it with my own eyes, and therefore believe it now), she has a full head of hair, small head and giant thighs (Gonna be a cheerleader? Oh snap!) and is weighing in at about average. They predict that she will be about 7.5lbs-8.5lbs at birth. We will see!

My maternity portrait arrived on Saturday and it looks great! I am so happy with how it turned out and how you can't tell if I am unphotogenic or not.

Sidenote: You can buy used diapers on Amazon. This sounds less than ideal.

She's Baaaaack!

2011-03-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, Debbie Downer is gone. She has been replaced with her more rested sister I Finally Feel Like a Human Again Christy. Thank the lord. Now, to reach this rested state, I had to drug myself, go to bed at 8PM and lay in bed until 7AM, but I feel human. Maybe, just MAYBE, I will eat lunch with my co-workers instead of napping in the backseat of my car. [gasp!]

Tidbits:
I have given up cursing for Lent. I give up cursing every year for Lent, but since I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE cursing, it's never stuck. I'm moderately hoping it sticks this time since we have a little monster on the way, but I can't teach her what NOT to say unless she learns the words, eh? Let's be honest, there is no better way to express your frustration than the F word. Oh, how I love it and it's many different meanings.

I definitely weigh more than Tommy. This makes me want to curse.

My biggest pet peeve in the world is when people sing or hum in public places. I.e. in gym locker rooms, elevators, grocery stores, etc...DUDE, I don't care if you are Celine F-word Dion, shut the hell up. Sidenote: Hell is not a bad word. My child will not be allowed to say it, but that's the beauty of me being the parent and her being the child. I get full authority on language restriction.

I did not get a single slice of king cake this year. I still can't believe it.

I am counting the down the days (2) until I get to run/walk in the great outdoors. Tommy and I have plans, weather pending, to spend most of my birthday afternoon walking the park. I CANNOT wait. I think it will do wonders for my morale. (I'm tearing up just thinking about it...) And then we will come home and eat the delicious Kroger Cupcake Cake he is supposed to buy me. I don't care what you say, Kroger has the best cupcakes EVER. Had I known of their deliciousness earlier in my life, I would have had a grocery store made wedding cake. Seriously. Crave and Sprinkles and whatever don't have nothin' on Kroger.

And without further ado and because my life is boring, the ABC's of me:

(A) Age: 29...until Sunday when I hit the Dirty Thirty!

(B) Bed Size: KING. We slept on my full sized bed when we were dating (not that we slept in the same bed while we were dating mom, promise) and I have no idea how we fit. Especially now. I can only assume that all other pregnant women who sleep in smaller beds must have their husbands sleep on the couch.

(C) Chore You Hate: Taking the trash to the street. HATE IT. But I also hate folding laundry (I will go wrinkly before I will fold) and I hate washing dishes (that's what dish washers are for!)

(D) Dogs?: LOVE THEM! If Anna is allergic, we may have to send her to live with someone else. Donny the Newfie (8ish years old) and Dixie the Great Pyrenees Monster (1 year-ish)

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Nothing really. I'm a morning person. Once you get me out of bed, I'm usually good to go. (I also haven't stayed awake until midnight since like 4th grade when I was afraid they would freeze my underwear if I feel asleep first. I quickly realized that frozen underwear will eventually de-thaw and be just fine...and I haven't stayed awake that late ever again.)

(F) Favorite Color: It depends on my mood, but in general, fushia (I think there is a C somewhere in the spelling of fushia), all shades of green and brown.

(G) Gold or Silver? GOLD. Always gold.

(H) Height: 5'6" or 5'7" - ish. But I rarely leave the house in less than 3" heels, so most people think I am a little taller than that. Ha. So sneaky!

(I) Instruments You Play: I can rock it out on the Rock Band Drums, but beyond that, my musical talent is pretty much zilch.

(J) Job Title: Supply Chain Planner (sounds exciting, eh?)

(K) Kids: They are a necessity for the continuation of this specie. Ha. I am 8 months pregnant so I am supposed to say I love kids and babies and yayyy! But in reality, I LOVE my friends kids and my friends babies, but I do not love random babies at the mall and I do not love strange kids who want to make faces at me over my booth at a restaurant. I will love Anna with all my heart and I CANNOT wait for her to get here...but I do not think random babies are cute.

(L) Live: Texas, ya'll. My only complaint is that when ordering something online, when I go to put in my state and press "T" to get to the T states, I have to scroll down one (stupid Tennessee and its superior spelling). I'm probably never leaving.

(M) Mom's Name: Candy. And no, she isn't a stripper. At least I don't think she is.

(N) Nicknames: CBenne, Bennett, Ben, BenBen...and of course, Christy.

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? None...yet. I'm really shooting for one in my very near future though!

(P) Pet Peeve: People who sing in public places. But since I already mentioned that, my second pet peeve is people in the locker room who want to be my naked friends. You can be naked or we can chat...we cannot do both at the same time. AND FOR GODSAKE, THE AUTOMATIC HANDDRYER IS NOT INTENDED TO DRY YOUR BUTTHOLE.

(Q) Quote from a Movie: "You lock it up. No you lock it up. Lock it up. Lock it up." Wedding Crashers. Tommy and I probably say this at least once a day. It relates to everything.

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right, but I got pretty good with my left in high school when I used to fear breaking my right hand and being stuck with only my left (my dad's favorite quote is "paranoid is a good way to be when everyone is out to get ya"...I don't know where I get it). I'm not ambidextrous by any means, but I can get the job done.

(S) Siblings: 1 Sister - Cathy and 1 Sisdog - Belle.

(T) Time You Wake Up? Pre-pregnancy - 4:30AM on the dot, 6 days a week, no ifs, ands or buts. During pregnancy - 4:30AM, with a little snoozy snooze, or sometimes 7AM. Depending on my mood. Today, it was a solid 6:39...plus a little snoozing.

(U) Underwear: It believe in its existence.

(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Cooked carrots. [gagging]

(W) What Makes You Run Late: Not much. I'm rarely late. But if I am, it's because I overscheduled myself...ooops.

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: I'm a paranoid athlete, so most everything...teeth, ears, knees, feet, ankles, hips, shoulders...

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Homemade mac and cheese. Let's be honest, I have a lot of skills, but cooking is sooo not one of them.

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Bears! I just want to cuddle them!

Debbie Downer

2011-03-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hi. My name is Debbie Downer.

1. I married a Katrina Evacuee, it's Mardi Gras, and I can't get a piece of a good King Cake? What the hell? Haven't I done my part for the city of New Orleans? :)

2. My maternity pants are VERY tight. They are so tight in fact that some of the stitching that holds the elastic band on is coming off and I am grateful. I have no intention of sewing them back together. Every inch counts.

3. I am pretty sure that as of today, I weigh more than Tommy.

4. I haven't slept in a really long time. I know this is "preparation for what is to come"...whatever. It still sucks right now and I am not happy about it. I get about 2 hours of straight sleep each night...and then a few 30 minute catnaps the rest of the night. If I'm lucky. If I can get a good workout in, I can make those 2 hours stretch into 3, which is glorious. However, on 2 hours of sleep, a good workout is pretty tough to finagle.

5. It's beautiful outside. Well, not at this moment, but it HAS been beautiful and all I want to do is go play. I want to run or walk or just read a book...but I can't run and I can't walk and my back hurts too bad to sit out there for more than about 30 seconds.

6. I miss my family terribly. We had such a good time this weekend...I wish they would move here!

7. I'm ready to meet Anna...but want her to hibernate for a little while longer. So frustrating!

TAX DAY!

2011-03-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

Inquiring minds are inquiring about little Anna's due date...she will arrive on or before April 21. I am due on April 15...hoping for April 1...and will induce on April 21 if she still hasn't made an appearance.

So it's either Tax Day, April Fools or Aggie Muster...I don't like to half ass things.

Goal delivery time of 12 hours and 55 minutes. Gotta PR the belly button round up.

On my 30th birthday, March 13, I will begin the exciting task of trying to induce labor naturally through pineapples, extreme exercise and a host of other terrifying activities. The good news is that, with the exception of some activity involving Castor Oil, I loooooooove pineapples (although I liked them more when they were $1) and exercising and the other stuff...so this is not a huge hardship.

Let the games being. I've just gotta keep her cooking for a little while longer...

34 Weeks in the work locker room...wierd face because people kept coming in and catching me and I was embarrased. And pointy belly because, well, that's how Anna rolls.

2011-03-01T08:24:00.000-08:00

Due to doctor's orders, I am not allowed to run until for the next two weeks...it'd be too painful anyway, so I don't really want to, but in 2 weeks, it's on! I'll walk through the pain if it will make me hatch sooner rather than later! But until the running/walking can begin again, I am stuck in the pool or on the bike...and bored out of my freaking mind. It's FAR too gorgeous outside to be inside and stationary. Steve Harvey and Family Feud can only get me so far.

Alas, I've been swimming and biking and today I tried aqua jogging.

The swimming is going okay...I mean, I can swim all day, but where the belly used to make me more bouyant, lately, it's DEFINITELY dragging my butt down. AND I'm having to wear a bikini because there are no swimsuits that will accomodate this monstrosity anymore...and no one wants to see a 34 weeks pregnant lady traipsing around the pool in a bikini. Trust me. And then, I can't push off the wall because it makes my bottoms fall off. Ha. Oh the drama!

I tried aqua jogging today - which is easily the most awkward/boring/strange activity you can possibly do. But it was a nice change. What I really determined is that even in water, I require a sports bra. Ow.

The biking is kind of fun still because I can rock out to music and go to a class and socialize...which is my favorite part of exercise...I love the people! But my hugeness means I am sitting wierd on the bike and I think I pinched a nerve in my back last week. It's feeling better and better everyday, so hopefully I can bike again tomorrow. 2 days at the pool in a row is about 2 days too many for me.

My 30th birthday is in 2 weeks and I plan on spending the day walking and walking and walking...drinking mass quantities of wine sounds like a much more enjoyable birthday activity, but the quicker this little one evacuates, the quicker I can have mass quantities of wine...so walking it is. The wine can wait. It gets better with age anyway!

We have our final ultrasound scheduled for March 17th - I CANNOT wait. This will get me confirmation that she does not have a weener and will estimate her size...and about 37 other things that are way more important regarding our overall health. I can't wait to see her one last time before she gets here!

Idiot.

2011-02-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

Had to deal with my first real idiot comment yesterday.

I'm talking to a guy I work with on a work issue and before we get down to business he asks about the baby and such. He then proceeds to say, "You better find someone good to stay with your baby so you don't feel guilty coming back to work". Yeah, thanks, Jackass. I was planning on picking up one of the illegal immigrants from the Valero Gas Station, but now that you mention it, finding someone good DOES sound like a smart idea.

Where do people come up with this stuff?

****************
Awkward Family Photos!

I had my dad take a few pictures of us this weekend for me to send to this chick to make us a watercolor. I am anti-maternity pictures...not because I don't like them (although, I don't really) but because A.) I am the least photogenic person in the world and B.) I have no idea what I would do with a picture of just me if I had it. So I will have Etsy (my BFF) make me a faceless watercolor to hang in Anna's room...I get the best of both worlds! I sent her pictures of Dixie too and she is going to paint her in somehow (Dixie was not invited to the parents house for the weekend - Devil Monster Dog). I'll let you know how it turns out (unless of course I am still unphotogenic without a face...).

One Two Buckle My Shoe.

2011-02-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

So it took me about 45 minutes to pick out clothes for work today because the part of my wardrobe that actually fits is getting increasingly smaller and smaller. Each day is like a new adventure in What is Long Enough to Cover This Monstrosity? And then answer is pretty much nothing.

Alas, I finally picked out a hodge-podge outfit consisting of a skirt that was cute 20 lbs ago, a top that will probably never be cute because it looks like a tent (and is this really awful shade of purple...bought it online - bad call), a cardigan and my cutest mary jane heels.

I went downstairs (barefoot) to work a little before actually leaving for work (I don't get it either) and worked/ate breakfast. When it came time to leave I tried to put on my cutest mary janes and lo and behold, there is no way in hell I could get those things buckled. So I sent Tommy upstairs to get my second cutest pair of mary janes that do not require buckling because they are not as cute.

I have reached the point in pregnancy when I can no longer access my feet. I am thankful that I don't have to tie my shoes very often because it's really hard.

In other news:

It's really hard to shave your legs when you can barely reach them. I look like an assault victim.

I'm pretty sure Anna's first words will be "No Dixie no! (Dixie is our devil puppy...)

I REALLY need Dixie (who weighs 65lbs) to learn how to jump in the car. She is taking this whole "no jumping" thing a little far.

I'm going to have to start wearing a bikini to the pool. Hahahaha. The horror. Swimmers beware.

For Lack of a Better Post.

2011-02-15T09:24:00.001-08:00

21 Things You May Not Know About Me.

1. I am the eldest of 2. My little sister didn't let me abuse her growing up, so we are going through this wierd abusive stage now, as adults, and it's just wierd.
2. I take Dixie the Dog to Petco to get her nails trimmed (and dew claws) because her nails grow at a freakishly alarming rate and no amount of walking helps.
3. I hate taking out the trash. I don't mind taking the bag out of the can and tying it, but the actual act of walking the 10 feet to the garage door and placing it in the garbage is a ridiculously daunting task. This is why I got married.
4. My parents live too far away (about 5 hours)...but since they live so far from the ocean, it's doubtful that we will ever move closer to them.
5. I don't mind loading or unloading the dishwasher but I HATE doing dishes. I really hate washing the chopsticks. Can't explain it.
6. We will be moving to the ocean (i.e. suburbia) at some point in the future...on the lottery knows when this will happen.
7. I am not sure how I am going to actually finagle 12 weeks off for maternity leave...but when there is a will, there's a way!
8. I currently wear a size 8 shoe. I am DESPERATELY hoping pregnancy doesn't make my feet grow. I love my shoes far too much to replace all of them. The horror.
9. I check my belly button every day to see if it has popped...so far, I've still got an inney.
10. Jewelry shopping for me is fairly easy. Bigger is ALWAYS better.
11. I can't imagine a house without puppies. (but not real puppies...puppies are evil incarnate. By puppies, I mean, "grown, well behaved dogs")
12. I am totally creeped out by animals that can't look at you straight on. Like birds. And horses. [shudder] Owls are okay because their eyes are on the front of their faces.
13. I used to love the smell of freshly cleaned port-a-cans...until I realized the smell that I liked was, in fact, the smell of freshly cleaned port-a-cans. Now I am totally grossed out.
14. I can pee anywhere and sometimes have to remind myself that just because I CAN doesn't mean I SHOULD.
15. I am desperately excited to meet our little baby girl in a few weeks - let the countdown begin!
16. My dad has made me paranoid. His motto growing up was, "paranoid is a good way to be when everybody is out to get ya". I would be great at risk assesment.
17. I once spoke with an English accent for a solid week. The problem was that once I WANTED to stop, I couldn't. I won't let myself even attempt the accent now for fear of being British forever.
18. I ROCK, like seriously rock, at Doctor Mario.
19. I have to get regular manicures because I like to do minor surgeries on my hands...and I don't do them when my nails look nice.
21. I could eat the same meals basically every single day - PB&J for lunch and spaghetti for dinner.

iTunes is Jealous.

2011-02-11T07:49:00.001-08:00

The movie No Strings Attached inspired me to make a Labor and Delivery Playlist. (In the movie, Ashton Kutcher makes Natalie Portman a period mix tape...songs like Even Flow by Pearl Jam and Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. HAHAHAHA.)

I started working on it, but quickly ran out of ideas, so I posted a request on Facebook and got more responses than I probably would have had I posted that I had just amputated my own arm. My friends crack me up.

Labor may (read: will) be long and painful, but I will have a highly entertaining song list to keep me laughing.

Push - Matchbox 20
Push It - Salt-N-Pepa
I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross (Julie)
Breakout - Foo Fighters (Thomas)
Take this Job and Shove It - Johnny Paycheck (Frank)
P*ssy Control - Prince (Lesley)
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas (Tina)
Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5 (Tina)
Push It - Rick Ross (LauraB)
Cuts Like a Knife - Bryan Adams (Roy)
Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp (Tina)
Stronger - Kanye West (JR)
Beautiful Girl - INXS (Roy)
Big Bang Baby - Stone Temple Pilots (Roy)
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado (Jenny)
Whomp! There It Is - Tag Team (Tiffany)
Breathe - Pink Floyd (Chuck)
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf
Born in the USA - Bruce Springsteen
Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia (Julie)
Come Baby Come - K7 (Janelle)
Help! - The Beatles (Janelle)
Rocky Theme - ?? (Lesley)
Cold Hearted Snake - Paula Abdul
I Want to Break Free - Queen (Sarah)
Barefoot and Crazy - Jack Ingram (Thomas)
Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas
Anna Begins - Counting Crows (Thomas)
Under Pressure - Queen (LauraD)
Mother Love - Queen (LauraD)
Pressure - Billy Joel
A Mother's Love - Diana Ross
Tie Your Mother Down - Queen (LauraD)
Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit
Fight From the Inside - Queen (LauraD)
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen (LauraD)
You Take My Breath Away - Queen (LauraD)
Come a Little Closer Baby - Dierks Bently (Thomas)
Sweet Child 'O Mine - Guns-N-Roses (Janelle)
My Mama Said - Abba
Drugs of Jesus - Tim McGraw
Kickin' and Screamin' - Garth Brooks
Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House - Garth Brooks
Papa Loved Mama - Garth Brooks
Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas (Janelle)
Heading for the Light - Travelling Wilbury's (Janelle)
Mother, Father - Dave Matthews Band
Wish You Were Here - Incubus (Regina)
Hit Me Baby (One More Time) - Britney Spears
Nookie - Limp Bizkit
Anna - The Beatles (Frank)
Dear Anna - Jason Mraz
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
So Sick - FlyLeaf
Best of You - Foo Fighters
Gimme Stitches - Foo Fighters
How Does It Feel - Ian Moore
Who Needs Sleep? - Barenaked Ladies
Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner
So UnSexy - Alanis Morisette
Slide - GooGoo Dolls
Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
One Boy, One Girl - Collin Raye
Long Day - Matchbox 20
Let's Just Get Naked - Joan Osborne
It's so Easy - Guns N Roses
I Will Not Go Quietly - Don Henley
Hold my Hand - Hootie and the Blowfish
Here It Goes Again - Ok Go
Hard to Handle - Black Crowes
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Come As You Are - Nirvana

And just for kicks, my all time favorite songs:
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Pony - Ginuwine
Remix to Ignition - R Kelly
Yeah - Usher
Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn
Proud Mary - Tina Turner
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel
Detroit Rock City - Kiss

This is about 80 songs. If I assume that each song is about 3 minutes long, I have enough music for 4 hours of labor. I have decided that my labor goal (it's so important to have goals, you know?) is to beat my Ironman finishing time of 12 hours and 55 minutes. This means I will need to listen to this playlist about 3 times.

Thanks to my wonderfully creative (and slightly disturbed) friends for their help. It's a work in progress, so feel free to leave suggestions in the comments!

Sidenote: My BFF A-Mac just sent me this picture. There are no words.

Maternity Mattress Verdict.

2011-02-10T05:51:00.000-08:00

Dude. It was A.Maze.Ing.

Laying down on it for the first time was kind of scary actually. I was afraid of hurting the baby and I wasn't quite sure what it would feel like. But OMG. The glory. The magic. I cried. And then Tommy took this picture.

Sidenote: I ripped these pants down the butt shortly after this picture was taken. This is my second pair of ruined pajama pants THIS WEEK. Has somebody gained a little too much weight maybe?

Luckily, our bedroom is big enough that we can lay the mattress down in our bedroom with plenty of room left for us to get around...which means I was able to move back and forth between the bed and the mattress throughout the night. I mean, no one really wants to sleep on an air mattress all night...even if you ARE on your belly. So that was a nice feature.

I started out in the bed and then when I woke up at my regularly scheduled midnight peeing, I moved to the mattress. I fearfully laid down but once I got settled, it was glorious. It was really comfortable and I was totally blissed out. My only complaints are that once you are on the bed, it's kind of hard to get adjusted. It's difficult to move around because your belly is stuck in this hole. And my mattress was directly below our ceiling fan which means my hair was tickling my face and I didn't have nearly enough blankets. Tonight I will wear a headband to keep my hair from tickling me and get more blankets. When I woke up at about 1:30, per the usual schedule, I went back to the regular mattress where I slept really well (on my left side...ugh). I think the little break for my numb left arm was just what the doctor ordered.

It was glorious. I can't wait to sleep on it again tonight. Best.Present.EVER.

...and the people rejoiced.

Best. Husband. Ever.

2011-02-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

Try not to be jealous ladies. He's mine and I don't share well.

Ha. But seriously. I have the best husband in the whole world. I know I've mentioned that before but last night I was presented with the most thoughtful gift I have EVER been given...

I have been whining about my lack of sleep (which has only gotten worse since I can now only sleep on my left side)...and how much I miss sleeping on my stomach. I miss sleeping on my stomach more than I miss wine. I miss sleeping on my stomach more than I miss running. I miss sleeping on my stomach more than I miss unpasteurinzed cheeses. Yeah, I REALLY miss sleeping on my stomach.

I may or may not have cried about it the other night as I was laying on my left side and my arms were numb and I was uncomfortable for the 5th hour of the night, the 40th day in a row.

But last night, Tommy, aka the sweetest man in the world, gave me an inflatable mattress that has a hole in the middle so I can lay on my stomach. He said he reached the end of the internet looking for it (which I do not doubt as I had also been looking without success). It was EASILY the most thoughtful gift I have ever gotten.

I may or may not have cried.

The pump has to charge for 24 hours so I wasn't able to use it last night, but tonight the glory will begin as I lay on my belly for the first time in about 4 months. Even if it's the most uncomfortable thing ever, I am seriously the luckiest girl in the entire world...I. CANNOT. WAIT.

I love you Tommy. Thank you so much the love you give me.

Belly flops for everyone tonight!

Great Balls of Ice!

2011-02-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

The Great Freeze of 2011!! It was a glorious day. Tommy and I both had off work - he locked himself away upstairs in the spare room and I took over the living room so I could make red beans and rice (for him, not me...beans are gross) and potato soup. Our house smelled AMAZING...and then about 7 hours later we ate lunch. Ha.

Well, Houston did in fact freeze, and it was slippery. At least for the dogs. The stairs to our yard were frozen solid and the dogs had some trouble navigating. The first time Tommy let them out in the morning, he didn't think about the stairs freezing, so he just opened the door and the 2 mutts raced down the stairs...where they slipped and slammed into the fence at the bottom. Ooops. This was probably hysterically fun for Dixie but for Don (who is 8 and has hip dysplasia) this was less than ideal.

So for the rest of the day, night and the next morning, Tommy had to pick up each of the dogs everytime they needed to pee and carry them down the slippery stairs. Unfortunately, the dogs weigh 65-70lbs each and due to their size are rather cumbersome to carry with one arm (the other hand was used to grip the railing). They would pee and then he would have to carry them back up. It was hysterical. They aren't big fans of being picked up (like their mom!) and they toes were splayed as far as they could go! I have video footage but it's definitely only footage that a mom could enjoy so I won't torture you with all 5 minutes of Dog Carrying. Just trust me, it's funny.

Then that night, we were supposed to go to a riveting breastfeeding class but it got cancelled...but we didn't find that out until after I had bathed and everything. I hate getting dressed after a day on the couch (call me gross, I care not)...I was not happy. So, I insisted that we go do SOMETHING. I mean, I was CLEAN afterall. So we went to the movies - saw No Strings Attached. It was cute. And I was able to limit my Slurpee intake to 1. Impressive.

Saturday was still icey and miserably cold, so I slept in and eventually Tommy made me go to the YMCA to swim. Unfortunately, the pool had not quite recovered from the freeze and it was ICEY. BRRRR! I sat on the edge for about 10 minutes before getting in. I count this as part of my workout.

Have I mentioned that I do not like winter? I do, however, like working from home for any reason. So, I will try to keep me complaints to a minimum.

*******************

In baby news, I am 31 weeks along (just over 2 months left!) and the baby's room is basically complete! We still need all the little necessities like, I dunno, diapers, but the decorating part is pretty much done.

Large and in charge and taking illegal pictures in the locker room.

I love love love her room. It didn't turn out how I had planned but I really love it. I wanted it to look like a kid's room, but wanted to avoid Mickey and Pooh and cutesy baby stuff. I think I acheived my goal!

In pregnancy related health information: I have started feeling tired as they say is typical in the 3rd trimester, but so far, it's just tired. It's NOTHING compared to mind-numbing exhaustion of the 1st trimester and I am only getting about 3 hours of sleep a night, so the tiredness could be because of the pregnancy or because I'm only sleeping about 3 hours a night (which is due to the pregnancy, but whatever). Little Anna (I wasn't going to tell you her name, but then I posted the nursery pic, so oh well) likes to hang out on my right side...which is all well and good except that this means I can no longer sleep on my right side. This leaves me with one sleeping option...my left side. Which makes my arms go numb and hurts my hips. Soooo, sleeping just isn't happening. Such is life! Otherwise, we are all healthy and counting down the days until we meet (and I get to sleep on my stomach)!

Running Commandments

2011-02-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

53 Runners Commandments

I stole this from Molly, but it's so true that I didn't think she would mind.

I'm sure you've seen this list before, but I really think it's worth re-reading and re-reminding ourselves of why we run, why we like it, how we can be better ambassadors of the sport.

The author is writer/publisher/ distance runner Joe Kelly.

I can relate to specifically to numbers 2, 10, 11, 26, 35 (I am always the person who says they feel awful and then actually has a good race...but I race terribly when I feel great) and 53.

What about you?

The Runners Commandments

1. Don’t be a whiner. Nobody likes a whiner, not even other whiners.

2. Walking out the door is often the toughest part of a run.

3. Don’t make running your life. Make it part of your life.

4. During group training runs, don’t let anyone run alone.

5. Keep promises, especially ones made to yourself.

6. When doing group runs, start on time no matter who’s missing.

7. The faster you are the less you should talk about your times.

8. Keep a quarter in your pocket. One day you’ll need to call for a ride.

9. Don’t compare yourself to other runners.

10. All runners are equal, some are just faster than others.

11. Keep in mind that the later in the day it gets, the more likely it is that you won’t run.

12. For a change of pace, get driven out and then run back.

13. If it was easy, everybody would be a runner.

14. When standing in starting lines, remind yourself how fortunate you are to be there.

15. Getting out of shape is much easier than getting into shape.

16. A bad day of running still beats a good day at work.

17. Talk like a runner. “Singlets” are worn on warm days. “Tank tops” are worn to the beach.

18. Don’t talk about your running injuries. People don’t want to hear about your sore knee or black toe.

19. Don’t always run alone.

20. Don’t always run with people.

21. Approach running as if the quality of your life depended on it.

22. No matter how slow you run it is still faster than someone sitting on a couch.

23. Keep in mind that the harder you run during training, the luckier you’ll get during racing.

24. Races aren’t just for those who can run fast.

25. There are no shortcuts to running excellence.

26. The best runs sometimes come on days when you didn’t feel like running.

27. Be modest after a race, especially if you have reason to brag.

28. If you say, “Let’s run this race together,” then you must stay with that person no matter how slow.

29. Think twice before agreeing to run with someone during a race.

30. There is nothing boring about running. There are, however, boring people who run.

31. Look at hills as opportunities to pass people.

32. Distance running is like cod liver oil. At first it makes you feel awful, then it makes you feel better.

33. Never throw away the instructions to your running watch.

34. Don’t try to outrun dogs.

35. Don’t trust runners who show up at races claiming to be tired, out of share, or not feeling well.

36. Don’t wait for perfect weather. If you do, you won’t run very often.

37. When tempted to stop being a runner, make a list of the reasons you started.

38. Never run alongside very old or very young racers (Edit by Christy: Never run along people in costume). They get all of the applause.

39. Without goals, training has no purpose.

40. During training runs, let the slowest runner in the group set the pace.

41. The first year in a new age group offers the best opportunity for trophies.

42. Go for broke, but be prepared to be broken.

43. Spend more time running on the roads than sitting on the couch.

44. Make progress in your training, but progress at your own rate.

45. “Winning” means different things to different people.

46. Unless you make your living as a runner, don’t take running too seriously.

47. Runners who never fail are runners who never try anything great.

48. Never tell a runner that he or she doesn’t look good in tights.

49. Never confuse the Ben-Gay tube with the toothpaste tube.

50. Never apologize for doing the best you can.

51. Preventing running injuries is easier than curing them.

52. Running is simple. Don’t make it complicated.

53. Running is always enjoyable. Sometimes, though, the joy doesn’t come until the end of the run.

Snow Day!

2011-02-04T13:06:00.000-08:00

It's a Snow Day in Houston, Texas which means absolutely nothing except that most of the city got off from work for no reason. Darn! There isn't a snowflake in sight...but the steps to our "yard" are iced over which means it is quite a challenge for the dogs to get out there to pee. Tommy has to help Donny up and down, but Dixie just slides down and crashes into the fence. There is a high of 60 degrees predicted for tomorrow, so this will all be very shortlived and tomorrow we can get back to our normal life of shorts in the winter. (Sidenote: 60 degress is still VERY cold to Houstonians. We will still be bundled in most of our winter gear tomorrow, but we will be able to eat dinner outside, which is what it's all about.)

Nonetheless, I am enjoying my day on my couch. I still have to work, but it's a half-assed affair where I sit in my pj's with the tv on and get some work done. I still find it hard to believe that there are episodes of Say Yes to the Dress that I haven't seen yet. Oh how I love bridal shows!

Knowing I would have the day off today and that it would be balls cold (call me a weenie, but it's Houston...we don't live here for the winters...) so I went to the grocery store yesterday to stock up on wintery Hunker Down supplies. The city of Houston is excellent at hunkering down...and the rest of the city was at Kroger as well. I read an entire magazine while waiting in line to checkout. But hey, saved myself $4! I bought supplies to make red beans and rice for my cajun husband and the fixin's for potato soup for me. I don't do beans. [shudder] It was my first time making both and they were deeeeelicious...even if they took all day.

My only complaint about today is that we have breastfeeding class tonight (yippee!) and that means I will actually have to shower at some point. Tragedy strikes again.

In other news, the pics from the half marathon are up...

This is what "running" a half marathon looks like at 30 weeks pregnant.

And this is what running a half marathon (without the quotes) looks like. Tommy is giving the Shocker in honor of the baby!

Ironman VS. Pregnancy

2011-02-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

Last night Tommy was talking about his Ironman training (I try to coach him, but he never listens...terrible student) and he brought up the fact that pregnancy and birth are like Ironman because in both events, you train for about 9 months in preparation for the big event that will likely take anywhere from 8 to 17 hours.

Ironman Time: 12:55
Labor and Delivery Time: TBD (but let's shoot for something less than 12:55, shall we?)

The only difference is that doping is totally legal in labor and delivery.

************

Have I ever mentioned my obsession with Diet DrPepper with a splash of rootbeer? OMG. You get the flavor of rootbeer without all the sweetness and calories. Deeeeeelicious.

Diet DP and Rootbeer. Perfection.

Revelations.

2011-01-31T13:55:00.000-08:00

My weekend recap.

The Houston Half Marathon was on Sunday. I've been signed up since before I was pregnant and since I HAD been keeping up with my running, I was still planning on running. Then, when the running ended, I stuggled with what to do on race day. Do I walk it? I walk part of it? If I just do part of it, do I do the beginning or the end? Can I run some of it?

I decided to start at the start and take my cell phone and cab fare with me and see what happens. I am sooo not above calling for a ride mid-race. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the prerace festivities and couldn't resist the urge to run. I forced myself into running 3 minutes and walking 2...I think I averaged a 12 min/mile for the first 7ish miles. I ended up doing about 10 miles in 2 hours and 13 minutes and I felt great for most of it. I walked the last 2.5 miles...and just patted my belly when people yelled at me to run at the end. Haha. Such is life!

************

I have decided to root for the Steelers during the Superbowl this weekend based entirely on an interview of Ben Roethlisberger I saw on Sports Center today while I ate lunch at Arby's. Yes, my Arby's has TV's. In this interview Ben sounded like an intelligent human being and I actually think he might not be a complete idiot. If my assumptions (based on a 7 minute interview that I listened to via closed captions) are incorrect, please let me know. I did not watch an interview of the other team's quarterback for comparison, so until I hear otherwise, Go Steelers.

************

We have two dogs - Donny (8 years-ish), a Newfoundland mix and Dixie (9 months-ish), a Great Pyrenees mix. They both have dew claws on their back paws, but Donny's never really grew very fast so I never had to trim them - they always cut them when we take him to get groomed every few months and that has always been enough. But Dixie's, oh man, those suckers grow like she puts Sally Hanson Maximum Growth polish on them every night.

We bought clippers when she was about 4 months old (we got her when she was 3 months) and tried to clip them. She wasn't a huge fan, but she tolerated it. We were quite proud of our nail clipping prowess.

Then when it came time to clip them again (like 2 days later), she wasn't having it. For a little puppy (okay, she weighs 60lbs...but she SEEMS little) she is a strong little sucker. We gave up the act of actually cutting the nails and just tried to get her used to us messing with her paws. We did that every night for a few weeks and tried cutting them again...no cigar. Ultimately we decided that the $11 it costs for Petco to do it was money well spent.

This brings us to yesterday. Our friend Ashley came over for our post-marathon keg party. Ashley is a dog groomer (she is a little out of our price range otherwise we would use her all the time) and somehow Tommy and her started talking about Dixie's nails. Ashley was all, "Dude, lemme see her. I'll show you how to just trim them a little at a time and she won't even notice." And Tommy was all, "Okay!". So they got out the clippers and attempted the impossible. It took 3 grown adults to wrestle this innocent puppy to the ground and even then, her nails did not get clipped.

Ashley ultimately conceded that we should sell the clippers on Ebay and start saving our money for Petco.

At least we know it's not us. Even the pros can't do it. Not sure how Petco got it done, but I'm relatively certain it involved a heavy sedative. But for $11 it's worth it.

****************

Texas booze rules do not allow you to buy alcohol on Sundays. This means you cannot buy kegs on Sundays because kegs are sold in liquor stores (you can still get beer and wine...but not from the liquor store).

So, in preparation for the 6th Annual Post-Marathon Keg Party, we bought our keg of beer on Saturday afternoon. Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is to keep a keg cold in Texas in January? Apparently, very hard when it's 70 degrees and gorgeous outside. I think we bought all the ice in the neighborhood. That keg was ice cold on Sunday, despite Mother Nature's best efforts!

****************

It was an excellent weekend.

I'm Sure There is a Scientific Explanation...

2011-01-26T13:59:00.000-08:00

...but why does my baby kick me so much 24 hours a day now, but will sleep so much when she is out? I've got to think the outside world is a much more interesting place than my inards. She doesn't seem to be very good at time management.

Awkward Turtle.

2011-01-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

I had my first uncomfortable belly rub today.

I, surprisingly, have not been as irritated by strangers touching me and asking me questions as I thought I would be. I've found that, in general, as long as they aren't creepy about it, it really just doesn't bother me. This is very out of character for me, as I am generally a nasty sort, but it seriously doesn't bother me. Much.

The strange female bartender rubbed my belly. That was okay. The strange female cashier at the grocery store asked questions. That was okay. The strange female lifeguard asked questions. That was okay. The strange lady in the locker room rubbed my belly (after I was fully clothed). That was okay. The strange male co-worker rubbed my belly in the elevator. Totally NOT okay.

I mean, he wasn't being creepy and wasn't intending to be wierd, but dude. It was wierd. And it was in an elevator. And I had no where to go. I just turned around to end the conversation and started pressing all of the buttons. And then I got off on the next floor to escape.

But really, all in all, I've found that I am a lot more tolerant of people than I (and all my friends/family) thought I would be. People's rude and irritating questions don't really bother me like I thought they would. In general people are interested and just don't know what to say...and that's okay. The intent is there and I get that...and I appreciate your interest in me and my baby. Even if you sound like an ignorant buffoon. I know I have asked some ignorant buffoon questions and said some dumb sh1t at some point in my life. We can just cut each other some slack. Okay?

When people ask me wierd/inappropriate questions, I tend to answer them totally truthfully which I think freaks people out (only partially my intent). But hey, if you ask about my sex life, I'm gonna tell you about my sex life! Graphically. With pictures. If you ask how I'm feeling and I haven't pooped in 3 weeks, well, I'm gonna tell you about it. Graphically. Possibly with pictures. And if you want to feel my belly, I'll probably let you. Unless we are stuck on an elevator and/or you are creepy.

It's the Little Things.

2011-01-24T10:47:00.001-08:00

It's the little things that you don't really think about...

...Like how the towels at the gym aren't really big enough to go all the way around me anymore. I now require twice as many towels as I did before.

...It's hard to eat my dinner at the coffee table because I can't really lean forward for that long.

...Tying my shoes is really tough...especially if I don't succeed the first time. (luckily, being the hardcore triathlete that I am, I only have one pair of shoes that actually require tying.)

...Packing clothes for the gym in the morning is hard...I never know what is going to fit. And I obviously can't wear the gym towel to work.

Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy didn't tell me these little tidbits!

In other news, our baby's room is pretty much done! Now, we just need the junk to fill the drawers and the baby! I will post pics in a few weeks when the final touches get placed. It's VERY bright and bold and very NOT me...but it turned out better than I could have hoped and I love it! I sat in the glider most of the weekend...partly because I just like it in there and also because it is seriously overstuffed and needs to be broken in. It's also very gender neutral, so, in the event that she is actually a he, we are ready to go. (This is seriously a HUGE fear of mine...best to take precautions when possible.)

Costuming.

2011-01-19T07:10:00.000-08:00

I found a costume for Halloween. It's a shame Halloween is so far away.

I made it to the pool this morning and had a decent swim...it was the longest I have swum since May-ish and I felt pretty good, surprisingly. Slower than molasses, but not slow enough to drown.

HOWEVER, when I was done, I attempted to hoist myself out of the pool (like normal) and was reminded that, "HEY! You're 6 months pregnant and quite large!" I was unable to pull myself out of the pool and had to cross over 4 high school swim team lanes to get to the handicapped stairs.

Awesome.

But I could totally pass for a beached whale for Halloween.

Lessons Learned.

2011-01-18T08:27:00.000-08:00

I learned a lot today.

I learned why so many women fail their 1 hour gestational diabetes test. Now, I'm not a doctor, nor do I specialize in endocrinology, but I've got to think that a test that measures blood sugar levels would be much more effective if they took a baseline reading. I dunno. But yayy for the yummy orange drink in my belly!!

I learned that I should have married a fat man. My doctor informed me that in all likelyhood I will weigh more than my husband at the end of this pregnancy. This will only be exaggerrated by his desire to reach race weight by the time IM rolls around and my new found love of Golden Oreos. Once Tommy heard this news, he began to gloat...until he realized that gloating could end in his castration. Gloating quickly turned to fear.

I learned that Golden Oreos are easily the most delicious cookie in all of the land. I am petitioning to Oreo that they be removed from the shelf once I deliver. They can be sold again should I ever become impregnated again. These cookies cannot exist in my post-partem world if I ever want to weigh less than my husband again.

In Pictures...

2011-01-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

If you are looking to assault your senses, you've come to the right place.

Here is my pregnancy, in pictures, taken by me, with my cell phone, in various bathrooms that I frequent. Stay classy.

18 Weeks. Super proud to finally have a gut. Even if it still looks more like a food baby than an actual baby.

19 Weeks. Finally sporting a semi-baby looking baby.

21 Weeks. At 20 weeks, we were on vacation in Cancun, where I spent the entire trip, covering up my gut, eating gummi bears and avoiding mexican food. Stupid pregnancy cravings. This is probably not an actually Baby Belly. This belly is full of gummi bears. Srsly.

23 Weeks. This happened overnight. I went to work party on Friday night and wore normal clothes...woke up on Saturday and had this. I had to take off work on Monday to go maternity clothes shopping because I had nothing. But I finally have something to show for months of nausea and sloth-liness!!

24 weeks. This shirt is super flattering. NOT.

25 Weeks. Check out that hideous art work that my mom INSISTS on displaying in the bathroom, despite me telling her that I drew it as a joke and is one of the uglier things I have ever drawn (excluding the painting that I attempted last night which is, in fact, the ugliest thing I have ever painted).

26 Weeks. It's looking a little bit pointy. She is a little wild and wooly.

27 Weeks. In the locker room at work. Hoping no one comes in. Day 1 of the home stretch!

Today marks 28 weeks. 7th inning stretch!! Let the games continue!

The Horror.

2011-01-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

Blogger has been blocked at my office all week.

It has been a very dramatic week, to say the least. A week without Blogger is like a week without, well, happiness. I mean, I can still read everyone's blogs, but A.)I can't see the pictures, B.)I can't comment C.) I can't update my own blog and D.) I just don't like reading them on the RSS feed. It hurts my eyes.

And normally I would play catch up in the evenings, but this week was crazy busy after work. We normally limit our weekly after work activities to one night out (you know, dinner or drinks with friends, whathave you), but this week, we had plans every.single.night. I am pooped. It was all fun, but dude, I wasn't made to be a party animal. And I especially wasn't made to be a sober party animal. This much I know.

Alas. Blogger is open again for my enjoyment and tonight I plan on putting on PJ's and catching up on all the quality TV that I missed during the week. Don't worry Brad Womack, I won't make you wait this long next week.

Updates. I know you are dying to know what is going on with me. Don't hurt yourself, I'll just tell you.

I am officially on the downhill slope of this pregnancy gig. Today is January 14 and I am due on April 14 which gives me 3 months left. Hooray!! I also FINALLY started feeling good, for the first time the whole pregnancy...I'm hoping this means I paid my dues and I will feel awesome during the third trimester because I felt like general death during the 1st and 2nd, but I doubt this is how it will go down. I will revel in my 2 weeks of Feel Good and hope for a 3rd! Keep your fingers crossed!

I quit one of my gyms. I joined there to swim, but the indoor pool is always crowded and the outdoor pool isn't really heated and there are no lifeguards. This ultimately means that last week, I was swimming in 50 degree air temps, 65 degree water, in the dark, all by myself...at 6 months pregnant. If this doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster, I don't know what does. So I quit. Oh well. Looks like I will just have to schlep to the YMCA in the mornings again. Ugh.

I am done running. It's official. I'm not saying I won't be running 2 miles here and there, but my days of 6-10 milers are over for the time being. I am going to attempt to walk 10 miles this weekend in training for the half in weeks, but I don't have high hopes of completion. Walking is just about the most boring time consuming activity I can think of and I just hate it. I've got my iPod ready to go though and I'm hoping I can stick it out. All that said, there is no way I can walk the race fast enough to finish within the alloted time (13:45 pace)...so I'm not sure of my plan of attack on that yet.

We have decided on a name for our little one! I won't tell you it here because, well, you are a bunch of stalkers, but for those curious, it's very traditional, it's a family name, and it's very Catholic...and we aren't Catholic. But should we decide to become Catholic, she is ready to go!

A woman got kicked out of a bar because she was pregnant. Discrimination or good/safe call?

Da Baby's crib bedding arrived this week and it looks SOOO good! I will eventually take pictures and post them for you to critique. Her colors are lime green and aqua...I bought a lime green rug and I think it might be too much...I may be on the hunt for an aqua rug. Keep your eyes peeled. Oh, and if you see any cute owl wall paraphenalia (ie birdcages (yes, I know owls don't live in cages, but WHATEVER), cool art or crafty ideas), please send them!

I haven't been hating on the elliptical as much as I used to...maybe because it's so freaking hard when you are 20 pounds heavier than you are used to being. I've also been walking on the treadmill at lunch while reading How Not To Kill Your Newborn books. Such entertaining reading.

I am still baffled by the number of people who voluntarily choose not to vaccinate their children.

Maternity tights are the greatest invention of all time. I will only purchase maternity tights from now on.

I am kind of over my fantasies about sleeping on my belly. Now I daydream about appletinis and salmon sushi. When this girl hatches, my recovery meal besta be a giant slab of raw salmon and a giant vat of appletini (preferably from Mafreless, but I doubt they deliver).

Tommy's IM training is fully underway and I am fully jealous. His goal is to get most of the big training days in before the baby comes and then anything that happens after she gets here will be a bonus. It's kind of nice though - because Ironman is kind of like pregnancy, we are both exhausted and sore all the time, always hungry, have too much laundry and too many dishes, and no one wants to walk the dog. The bad news is that I have 12 blueberry muffins to eat all by myself on Saturdays because he is gone riding his bike all day. Danger danger.

Okay, that's about it. Here's hoping Blogger works next week. I don't think I can survive another week without it.

OPRAH!

2011-01-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

I never really cared that Oprah was ending (or moving, or whatever...) because hey, I have a job and I haven't been able to watch Oprah in about a decade. But I realized yesterday that if I get to work at 6:30 or 7, I can leave at 4 and jump on the elliptical and watch a solid gold hour of Oprah. Yesterday I learned all about how the prosecutor screwed up the OJ case. I was in hog heaven. And on commercials I watched the season finale summary of 16 and Pregnant on MTV. LOVE IT.

Maybe this gym rat thing isn't as bad as I orginally thought.

Don't leave me Oprah!! I need you to stay until at least April. K? Thanks.

Unrelated: Did you see The Bachelor last night? OMG. Trainwreck. Love it. I watched through my hands because I was too terrified. Where in the world do they find these people??!? And the new dance show that starts tonight?!? I heart TV.

What I Miss Most.

2011-01-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

Being pregnant has its perks.

Everyone is always willing to share their dessert with the pregnant lady (it's a shame I'm not a huge dessert fan).
Even the rudest of people will hold the door open for a pregnant lady.
You can always convince your husband to drop you off at the door while he goes to find a parking space during Christmas shopping...regardless of weather.
You get to wear your Thanksgiving pants all the time!
Napping is encouraged.
Oh, and you get a baby at the end. Hooray!

But the perks don't quite overshadow the joys of pregnancy (once the baby arrives, all the bad stuff is forgotten...which is the only way people would actually go through this again. The first time, it's ignorance, the second time, you are too busy with the first one and their cute little smiles have made you forget.)

I found this list last night of the 12 Things Women Miss Most During Pregnancy.

Their list looks like this:
Sense of Smell
Booze
Off-Limits Foods
Peaceful Sleep
Cute Shoes
Feeling Sexy
A Rockin' Sex Life
Feeling Strong and Independent
Being Included
Pre-pregnancy Body
Emotional Control
Caffinating Like You Used To

My list looks like this:
Sleeping on my Stomach
Running Comfortably
Booze
A Rockin' Sex Life
Being Included
Pre-pregnancy Body
Caffinating Like You Used To
Emotional Control
Racing Triathlon
Feeling Sexy
Sense of Smell

What I determined over the Christmas holiday is that I would rather be able to sleep on my stomach rather than drink. Yes, everyone, you heard it here first. I would give up booze if it meant that I could sleep on my stomach. I have sex dreams about sleeping on my stomach...except that there is no sex, just sleeping. On my stomach. And it's amazing. And then I wake up. On my side. And I lay there fantasizing about how amazing it would be if I were on my stomach. And then, of course, I can't go back to sleep. This equates to about 3 hours of sleep per night.

I would even rather sleep on my stomach than be able to run.

Yeah, that's how much I miss laying on my stomach. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

That said, I think I realized this weekend that my running days are over...or at least close to it. On Christmas I went for a 6 mile run. It was a gorgeous day - cold and sunny, no wind and I was feeling GREAT! I only had to pee twice (WHOA!)...I ended up going a third time because I was passing City Hall and it was open and heated and why would you pass up an opportunity like that?!?, but I could have skipped it. Regardless, my run was great. I hit the 6 mile mark about 2 blocks from my parents house, so I stopped to walk the rest of the way to cool down. And the minute I stopped, I had the most excruciating pain in my groin-ish area. It hadn't been hurting while I was running but now I could barely walk. I finally made it home where I put on a happy face so as not to alarm anyone and promptly got in the shower and took a long hot bath. I felt marginally better after that and some Tylenol, but the pain was still probably around a 7 on the Pain Scale of Terror. I laid around for the next two days and finally felt a little better on the third day...so instead of running I broke into the local YMCA and hit up the elliptical machine (riveting). I felt okay after that.

When we got back to Houston, I hit up the gym for the elliptical two days in a row because I was afraid of running. But on New Years Day, the Y didn't open till noon and I had plans during the day, so I decided that would be the day I would try running again. I headed to the park with plans of running 2 loops (3 miles each) but knowing that I would have to make adjustments as needed.

Once again, I felt amazing while I was running. The day was gorgeous! Shorts and a thin long-sleeve shirt and gloves and I was a happy fat runner. I was slow, but my legs felt great and I felt great and the day felt great and I just loved being out there. And it may or may not give me a sick sense of satisfaction to pass people and then them realize I am pregnant and then try to pass me back but they can't. Muuuuhahaha. Alas, after 3 miles, I stopped to use the indoor restrooms and while I was waiting in line the groin pain started again. Not quite as bad as the last time, but still very painful. I peed and headed back out, my dreams of running 2 loops dashed. But I thought maybe I could at least walk another mile or so...it was too gorgeous to go inside! I made it about 50 ft when I realized that walking more wasn't going to do anyone any good. I called it quits and went home. :(

The pain was pretty bad, but I wasn't laid up like the first time. We went to BabiesRUs and I got a maternity support band, which surprisinly, took my pain from about a 6 or 7 to a 3 or 4 just by putting it on. I couldn't really sit in it though, so wearing around the house is kind of tough. I'll try it though! I also ordered Gabrialla from FitMaternity...we will see what that one is about. I will stick with spinning/swimming/elliticalling for the next week or so and then try out running with the band to see if that solves it. Otherwise, I think we can safely say that I am done running. 26 weeks of glory, but the pain is too much.

What they don't tell you is that, yes, you CAN keep running through your pregnancy, but you might not WANT to. I know not everyone experiences this pain, but I think it is a lot more common than anyone lets you believe. Runner don't quit running because they feel like it...they quit because they just can't do it anymore. I'm gonna give it one last Hail Mary effort, but I think I'm done.

I've got a half marathon on the schedule for end of January, which I was planning on run/walking anyway, but I think it's safe to say that I will be doing one of 4 options at this point:
1: Walking it, very quickly, and hoping to finish within the alloted 3 hours (13:45 pace)
2: Run/walking it, with the emPHAsis on the walking and hoping the pain doesn't get to be so much that I have to call for a ride home.
3: Walking it, at whatever pace I feel like and cuting the course short (making it about 10 miles)
4: Sleeping in. (Although, really, I would still go spectate, so at best, not racing buys me like 20 more minutes of sleep)

We will see what the next month brings. My original plans were to run the first 3 miles to let the crowd thin out and then run/walk as needed and wanted...but that's a pipe dream at this point I think.

I know I'll get it back...that's not really my fear anymore. I just miss it. Running keeps me sane. It helps me sleep. It helps me eat better. It let's me play outside. It lets me people watch. It's my outlet. I just miss it.

But I'd give it all up if I could just sleep on my stomach.

2010. Phew. I'm Pooped.

2010-12-30T07:01:00.001-08:00

2010. It's been a good one, but I could totally use a nap.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Got pregnant.
Went to 5 weddings in 4 weeks.
Watched an Ironman.
Cried at work.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?My goals for 2010 include, but are not limited to:
1. Being a better person. For example: Stop yelling at stupid people. They know they are stupid and they don't need to be reminded constantly. Or do they?
Success Rating: 4. I really worked on this. I will probably NEVER achieve this goal, but as long as I keep in front of my mind, I will hopefully continue to make strides. Fingers crossed. I'm giving myself some E for Effort here.

2. Drop a pants size. (this will never happen and will totally be blamed on my 11 month deadline. If I had only had one more month...)
Success Rating: SUCCESS! After months of tests and waiting on results, I finally got a diagnoses of insulin resistance (and PCOS)...and then the drugs that went along with it. The drugs were evil, but they worked. I miss them terribly. Without them, I wake up salivating from dreams about bread and then I eat bread...vicious cycle. Alas, I DID drop a pants size this summer and it was a magical day. Unfortunately for my pants, I immediately got pregnat and was only able to enjoy them for a few weeks. I look forward to getting back into shape after this baby hatches...I miss everything about being fit so so so soooooo much.

3. Enjoy life more. I feel like I do this to the extreme most of the time, but really, if there is one part of your life where there is always room for improvement, this is it.
Success Rating: 10! I love my life, my friends, my family, etc...gonna keep on keeping on and remembering to show the love to those I love!

4. Start volunteering at the animal shelter again. Ironman derailed my volunteering in 2009 and I miss the puppies! (Sidenote: adopt a dog from a shelter today!)
Success Rating: 1. This just hasn't happened. My new role just isn't as flexible as my old on in terms of getting Fridays off, so volunteering time isn't as feasible as it once was. I am giving me a 1 (instead of a 0) because we have increased our financial contributions this year...which is better than nothing. AND we adopted a mongrel from our local Great Pyrenees Rescue. Dixie had been left on the side of the road, was malnourished and covered in mange...we were able to take her into our home and love her back to health. She is the devil, but she is OUR devil and we love her.

5. Get faster! Specifically, I want to run a 1:50 half marathon in 2010 (the Houston Marathon in Jan will also qualify to meet this goal)
Success Rating: 3. I was on my way to meet this goal before I got knocked up, so I will give myself SOME credit for effort. I don't know that I was on track for acheiving this but regardless, I would have gotten really close had my season gone on as planned. I probably won't acheive this in 2011 either, but this will get back on the goal list as some point.

6. Save more money so Tommy and I can move to the beach sooner rather than later.
Success Rating: 7. We have been really good this year and have been saving like banshees. Let's keep at it! I need me some beach!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes - My pals Jodie and Tiffany and Kristin. All had little girls so our little one with have friends to play dress up with. (Unless she surprises us and ends up being a boy...yes, I am SUPER paranoid about this.)

4. Did anyone close to you die?  
Yes, my grandmother - my moms mom - passed away this summer. Between Tommy and I, we are down to one grandparent. Getting old sucks.

5. What countries did you visit?  
Mehico! My favorite place in the world. We went to Cancun and Cozumel and even though I was sick as a dog the ENTIRE time, we had an amazing vacation. Viva la Ironman!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More puppies! Okay, that's a lie. I would like more grown, well-behaved dogs. Puppies make me freaking insane.
Otherwise, nothing - (also a lie, I mean, let's be honest, I could always use some material crap, but that would negate the Saving and Moving to the Beach Plan) - I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Aug 5...the day I found out I was pregnant via peeing on a stick, my favorite pasttime.
4 weeks later - the day we saw her little heart beating for the first time.
Our staycation in downtown Houston - so perfectly timed and needed and WONDERFUL.
The first time Tommy felt our little one kick.
Watching Ironman (seriously, I was almost as emotional about this as I was about the baby kicking...I'm telling you, Ironman is AMAZING.)
Front row tickets to Swan Lake...omg. I LOVE the ballet.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  
Fitting all our stuff in the car for the trek to Dallas for Christmas. Dear lord.
Just kidding.
Biggest accomplishment was...eh, hell if I know. I PRed my half Ironman time, my 5K time and my sprint and olympic times...AND I got 1st place in the sprint and then 3rd the next day...and 4th a few weeks later...all in all, a great (half) year in athletics for me.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not making the time to volunteer at the animal shelter. It's a cause that is so important to me. I just need to make the time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Always! I suffered my usual twice yearly allergies/sinus infection/nastiness. Pregnancy is niether an illness nor an injury, but damn, it usually feels like one.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
OMG. We got bedroom furniture. It's GORGEOUS. Absolutely freaking gorgeous. We still need bedside tables, but overall, our bedroom is GORGEOUS. Siiiiiiiiigh. I feel like a princess!!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Tommy's...pretty much always Tommy. I have no idea how he tolerates me, but I thank my lucky stars that he does! And maybe Dixie deserves some credit too - she was potty trained in record time. Nice job pup!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  
Other than Kate and John Gosselin? And Mel Gibson? And Tiger Woods?
I know I have some friends who's behavoir made me a little sad, but let's be honest, I'm sure I hurt my fair share of feelings in there, so we will call it even and blame all the appalling depressing sh1t on the celebrities.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Vacation! As it should. And we bought gorgeous bedroom furniture (have I mentioned that??) and then we have this rugrat on the way that is apparently a money grubbing mongrel because she isn't even here yet and is taking all my cash.

15. What did you get really excited about?
All my races in the spring and how far I had come...and then losing all that fitness because there is a baby on the way. You can't have it all!! :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
King of Anything by Sara Bareilles and Sister, Sister by Train...for no other reason than I love it and could listen to it over and and over and over again...despite the fact that these are likely two of the most irritating songs EVER sung. I have terrible taste in music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: 
(a) happier or sadder? Happier.
(b) thinner or fatter? Thinner...then fatter, much much fatter. Darn you pregnancy.
(c) richer or poorer? No change? I guess richer because we saved really well this year. Hooray!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  
Sleeping in. I never feel like I do enough sleeping in. Or sleeping in general.
And spending more time with friends...you can never have enough time with friends and family!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  
Eating out. Gossiping. Pining after crap I don't actually care about.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my wonderful family in Dallas...relaxing, drinking, watching tv, playing Angry Birds, sleeping, eating, baking...ah, it was wonderful.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Always! Everyday with my wonderful husband and our little monster growing inside me. Fingers crossed she is just like her daddy or we are totally screwed.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Forever and always Friends. But after that, How I Met Your Mother and Modern Family. 30 minutes is about the extent of my attention span.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 
Hate is a strong word, but I do dislike some people more than I disliked them last year.

24. What was the best book you read?  
Other than Pregnancy and Baby books? Ha. I dunno. I love books. Love them all pretty much. But let's be honest, the Bride Quartet by Nora Roberts was a real page turner.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? 
Yeah, I updated my iPod 3 years ago. My greatest musical discovery is whatever comes on the radio and makes me bop my head a little.

26. What did you want and get?  
I really wanted bedroom furniture and it happened...have I mentioned the bedroom furniture?? As Mia Michaels would say, "Gorgeoiux". Not sure how you would spell that, but since it's not a real word, I'm not terribly concerned.

27. What did you want and not get? 
A 1:50 half marathon...2012, it will happen in 2012.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Burlesque and Black Swan...I love the dancing and the singing. Inception was awesome and all, but the lack of singing and dancing really puts it below the other two.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 this year but I have absolutely no recollection of what we did on my birthday...it was a blast though, I'm sure!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  
To have convinced the WTC to give me my Ironman refund for IMTX next year. Such is life!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?  
This is dumb.

32. What kept you sane?  
My puppies! And my cool wo-workers. And my amazing friends. But most of all, Tommy.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Forever and always, Christian Bale.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? 
Not getting into it.

35. Who did you miss?  
My friends and family who live far away - I just don't get to see them as much as I would like. XOXOX!

36. Who was the best new person you met?  
Dixie the Dog!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.  
Anonymous people on the internet suck. Haha. Not exactly a valuable life lesson, but it's fact!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Live like you're dying! Ha. Just kidding. That song was lame and so is that guy, but whatever. I don't know music.

Sink or Swim?

2010-12-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

I FINALLY made it to the pool yesterday afternoon. My last few attempts have been sabotaged by lost wedding rings, forgotten swimsuits and lazy attitudes...so it's been at least 4 months since I was in a pool, if not 5. I had no idea how my first swim would go. Would the baby make me sink or swim?

Conclusion #1:
I need a bigger swimsuit. Like a WAY bigger swimsuit. What I wore to the pool would be considered pornographic in Maternity Photo Fetish Land. And then it gave me wedgies the whole time.

Conclusion #2:
I loathe aqua-robics people. Why do they need 3 lanes? How is that a workout? Doesn't the instructor on the side of the pool feel like an idiot? ($20 says that by the end of this pregnancy, I take this class at least once...karma is an evil evil b1tch.)

Conclusion #3:
I need to stop being such a pansy and just swim in the outdoor pool. It's heated and everything but it's only heated to like 72 degrees...not to a toasty 78 degrees like the indoor pool. And I am a pansy and I love love love my hot bath water. I don't like that "Oh, it will be fine once you get used to it" thing. I want it to be fine right when I get in. Instant gratification, that's me!

Conclusion #4:
I hate sharing a lane. I really hate sharing a lane when I haven't been swimming in a long time and I don't really feel super comfortable. And then, the guy who jumped in my lane didn't even bother to tell me he was joining me, so we crashed mid-pool. Dumbass. I hate him. How we crashed is beyond me since he was just doing the breaststroke and NOT EVEN WEARING GOGGLES. OMG.

Conclusion #5:
Babies are bouyant. It turns out I can still swim! I tried not to look at the clock so I wouldn't get discouraged, but I let myself time one 100yd set and my times were about where they were over the summer. THANK GOODNESS. I was probably more winded from that effort than I was over the summer, but I was still able to pull the rabbit out of the hat.

Conclusion #6:
I don't have to pee when I swim. Bizarre. For the first time in 5 months I didn't have the uncontrollable urge to pee. It was amazing. And wierd. But amazing.

Conclusion #7:
I will teach my child not to stare at naked ladies in the locker room. Creepy ass kids.

Conclusion #8:
Don't go to a triceps specific body pump class the day before you swim for the first time in forever. Ouchie.

Overall, the swim was a success. I enjoyed my time in the pool (as much as I could ever enjoy my time in the pool) and I didn't feel like a total failure. The girl in the lane next to me was a little faster than me, so I had fun trying to keep up with her. I will be going back. Maybe this time I will man up and go to the outdoor pool where I can have a luxurious freezing cold lane to myself. We will see.

PS - Thanks for the encouragement on my post yesterday. You made my day!

Training Updates

2010-12-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

I know that both of my followers are on the edges of their seats to know about how my training is going, so without further adeiu...

My training is going, "meh". I mean, I'm doing some form of a workout at least 4 days a week...usually 5. I've been doing a long run on the weekends - usually 6-10 miles - a spin class mid-week, a couple of runs, a body pump class and at some point, I will throw a swim in there.

I was all set to swim last week, but on my way to the pool I was taking off my jewelry to put in my purse (saves time in the locker room), when I dropped my wedding ring in between the seat and the center console. OMG. I was a wreck. My ring was Tommy's mom's wedding band, so losing it is just not an option. My swim got nixed and we spent the evening taking the driver seat out of my car to find the ring. We found it and all is good with the world again. Phew. I will attempt the pool again today. Wish me luck. I very well may sink.

My runs have been going well for the most part. My legs feel great and I have been really enjoying them (they LOVE the reduced mileage and intensity!)...but I have to pee about every quarter mile. Do you have any idea how long it takes to run a 3 miles loop around the park when you have to pee every quarter mile? OMG. It takes a long ass time. Luckily, I ran 9 miles this past weekend and I only had to pee every mile and a half-ish. Big improvement!! I'm still planning on running (and walking) the half marathon in January...but we shall see.

The biking is a challenge because I can't fit on my tri bike anymore and I hate spin class...so I haven't been doing that nearly as much as I should. I really need to suck it up and just go to the stupid classes. Somebody slap some sense into me.

Body pump is going well, but it's getting more challenging since I can't do half the exercises anymore. I can't lay on my back for too long because I feel puke-y and I can't lay on my stomach because, well, there is a baby there. I think I will have to forfeit this class soon to save the rest of my classmates sanity.

All in all, I am enjoying staying active and am still doing activities that I love...but it's getting harder. I hope I am able to stay active up until the day I deliver...fingers crossed. Christy when she hasn't worked out is not a pretty sight.

My BFF asked me yesterday if my doc is okay with my level of exercise. I said, "Yeah, that's why I go to her". My theory is that there are about 9 million different views on how you should act/be/eat during your pregnancy. You need to figure out where you stand on that spectrum and find a doctor who agrees with you...because I promise you, there is a doctor our there who will support you in whatever you believe. Unless you are just dying to smoke some crack...you might have trouble finding a doc who supports that. But you never know.

Maternity Pics.

2010-12-14T05:21:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of anti-maternity pics. Not because I hate them but because A.)I am soooo unphotogenic and B.) I have no idea what I would do with said pictures if I had them in my house. I didn't have bridal protraits done for the same reasons...and this has proven to be a wise money saving investment that I do not regret at all.

Alas, if I WERE to have maternity pictures taken, I can guarantee that they would look something like this.

You MUST visit this blog that was recommended to me by the lovely Matt. MUST.

http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/12/10/awkward-pregnancy-photos.html

And then you need to go order your pre-natal pole dancing DVD.

Exercising while Pregnant.

2010-12-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

It's a good idea.

When I reach the point that I can no longer run, I plan to take up pre-natal pole dancing.

I don't see how something this joyful could be wrong. The video is worth all 2 minutes and 4 seconds of your time.

Prenatal Pole Dancing DVD from Christina Applegate

Not Prepared for the Pain.

2010-12-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

OMG. I experienced my first pregnancy related leg cramp this morning about 30 minutes before I was supposed to wake up.

I woke up to my own blood curdling scream and the most excruciating pain I have EVER experienced. The cramp lasted about 3 minutes before I was even able to move my foot enough to attempt to loosen the muscles. And only then did the pain lessen even a little. I continued to bite the corner of my bed in pain for about 5 minutes following but at least I could move my foot and stretch the muscles a little.

If labor is worse than that, I'll just keep the baby in me, thanks.

****

In other news, I had SUCH a good workout yesterday. I ran a quick 2 miles on the treadmill before busting out a body pump class. I felt amazing. I needed that boost very much. It's been awhile since I haven't felt like death during a working. I felt like my old self (almost). I'm going swimming today for the first time in about 4 months. Wish me luck. I may sink.

We picked up and assembled our crib last night! It looks sooo good! It's also way huge-r than we expected it to be. I mean, we measured and stuff and knew it would fit but actually having it there...man, it's huge. I'm pretty sure that I would fit comfortably in it. Bedding won't be here till January though - darn it!

RaceShots

2010-12-06T08:29:00.001-08:00

I got email reminders from one of the race photographers today, reminding me to purchase my race photos from 3 races I did earlier this year. Race photos cost like $15 each, so we RARELY buy the pics, but they are fun to look through and try to pirate for Facebooking purposes.

As I was looking through the pictures, I became acutely aware of how much of my fitness I have lost in the last 5 months. Last fall and spring I made such HUGE gains in my speed and endurance. I had FINALLY found that thing that I never had that could make you push through the pain or quit...I finally figured out what it mean to push through the pain. I finally figured it out. I was finally racing to my potential. I still had some improvements and gains to be made, but I was finally doing what I always dreamed I could be able to do.

In the spring, I won 1st in my age group in a sprint tri (and PR'ed my 5K while I was at it), and then won 3rd in my age group in the olympic the next day...all while I was sick as a dog. I still can't believe it.

Then I PR'ed the 10K, a half Ironman and placed 4th in my age group at another sprint...it was an AWESOME spring. I never thought that any of that was possible. I had always been okay with being slow. But then, one day, I realized that I wasn't actually slow anymore.

Looking at the pictures today made me a little sad.

I am THRILLED (beyond thrilled) to be pregnant. I am so excited to be having a baby with my wonderful husband and best friend. I can't believe that we have been so blessed to find each other and to be able to build the life that we have now.

All that said, I am a little sad that I worked so hard to make such significant gains physically...and they are all gone. I mean, I can still run a 10K...just not fast. I can still run a half marathon...just not fast. I can still bike on my trainer for 3 hours...just not fast. I could probably finish an half Ironman if I wanted to...but it would take the full 8 hours.

The endurance is still there, but the speed - the speed I worked sooo hard for - is totally gone. I know I will get it back, someday, but it's sad to realize it's gone and it could be a long while before I see it again.

I miss my speed and I hate having to pee every quarter mile on a run. Oh the other hand, the wild woman in my belly goes crazy after a run, so it's totally worth it.

I know I will get it back. I know it will take a long time. I know it will be hard. But since I know what that "thing" is that makes me push harder now, getting the speed will be easier than before. I'm still sad.

With my workouts now, it's hit or miss. Somedays I go out there and feel like a million bucks and other days, 1 mile is all I have. Or 5lbs weights are all I can lift. Or 15mph is all I can muster. But the days when I feel like a million bucks are great.

It's been an interesting journey to say the least.

I haven't made a race calendar for next year - we are trying to see how things play out after the little one gets here - but for now, I think my plans are to do a sprint in August-ish and then another spring or possibly olympic in September-ish. I NEED to race. I miss the training, I miss my friends, I miss the schedule, I miss race day jitters...but most of all, I miss having that goal.

I'm excited, so excited...but also a little sad.

Indulgence.

2010-12-01T12:37:00.000-08:00

After people find out I am having a little girl, they ask (among other more inappropriate things) how I plan on decorating the room. When I tell them that her room will be lime green they shudder and say, "but what kind of mother will you be if you don't give the baby the pink room she deserves?"

The horror.

Well, to make those women happy, I made my first pink purchase while on vacation. Our little girl is now the proud owner of a Luche Libre mask, a hot pink Mexican wrestling mask.

It looks something like this...only in pink...which was incredibly hard to find on the internet (but I didn't try that hard):

She is ready for her tutu now!

Sidenote: For some unknown reason, I became obsessed with these masks in Mexico. The good news is that once you have children, you can totally justify your riduculous impulses...because it's for the children. WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!?

Pet and Street.

2010-11-27T16:09:00.000-08:00

I just realized that my daughters stripper name will be Dixie 16.

While this is not as good as MY stripper name (Fluffy Aspen), she will definitely have some big shoes to fill.

In the meantime, Tommy and I are enjoying our vacation in Cancun and Cozumel...tomorrow we will watch a bunch of our friends race in Ironman Cozumel. I am absolutely GREEN with envy. They are going to have a gorgeous day on the island and an amazing experience. JEALOUSY!! The alarm goes off at 5am so we can head to the swim start...goodnight moon!

It's a Hamburger!

2010-11-20T03:46:00.000-08:00

Is an ultrasound of a fetus's labia considered child porn?

I dunno.

Going into the ultrasound, I had reached this strange place. I had always wanted a girl for my first child...the thought of raising a little ballerina was just too much for me to resist. I also always thought that those women who said, "Oh, I don't care what gender the baby is, as long as it's healthy", were lying sacks of shit. But the further along in my pregnancy I got, the less and less attached to having a girl I got. I really only wanted a healthy baby. Shocking, I know.

And then there were the wierdos who think I would be a better mom to a boy. 1. This is not an appropriate thing to say to someone. 2. I hate sports. Hate them. Really, really hate them. 3. Just because I am moderately athletic and excessively crass doesn't mean anything.

Alas, we got the news that we are having a baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes and 4 chambers in the heart...AND IT'S A GIRL! She's got a hamburger not a hotdog!

And true to a baby of mine, she gave us the Shocker just before she spread her legs and we got a good look at her labia.
Nice job Baby Blain. I think we are gonna get along just fine.

Boy or Girl?!?!

2010-11-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

Place your bets now!

We find out the sex of Cletus the Fetus next Thursday...assuming said child decides to behave appropriately during the ultrasound. But since this IS my child, it's unlikely that he/she will cooporate and will never actually get to find the answer we are looking for.

Alas, let's make some preliminary guesses using folklore, old wives tales and Chinese theories to predict the gender of Cletus the Fetus. I popped a bit of belly overnight (although, it could just be constipation...), so here is an 18 week picture to help us in our search.

How you are carrying:
Carrying low = Boy
Carrying high = girl

ANSWER = BOY

Wedding Ring Swing:
(Hang your wedding ring from string in front of your belly)
If it moves in a circle = Boy
If in a straight line - Girl.

ANSWER = GIRL

Heart Rate:
Baby's heart rate is under 140 beats per minute = Boy
Baby's heart rate is over 140 BPM = Girl

ANSWER = GIRL

Chinese Gender Chart:
Chinese age = 29
Conception Month = July

ANSWER = BOY

Random People's Opinions:
50% = Boy
50% = Girl

Answer = I assume the lady behind me at Kroger was right.

Sleep Preferences:
Prefer to sleep on your right side = Girl
Prefer to sleep on your left side = Boy

ANSWER = GIRL

Drano Test:
This "test" is performed by mixing Drano and mother's urine. Depending on the color, you'll find out if it's a boy or girl.

I did not do this test because it involved buying junk. And I am just that lazy.

The results are mixed and, as expected, it's about half and half.

I have no idea and regardless, the kids room will still be blue and green and it WILL come home from the hospital in a tutu. At least Tommy and I agree that all children should be dressed in costumes at all times. Forget onesies. My kid is going as Baby Gaga until it's old enough to fight me.

Happy 3rd Anniversary to Us!

2010-11-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

Tommy and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary on Wednesday. We celebrated by sitting at home on the couch (with our Christmas decorations...don't judge) and cuddling. We are lame. But awesome.

Every year we exchange small gifts in accordance with the traditional wedding gift guide. Year 1 it was paper, year 2 was cotton and this year was leather.

Ouch.

I turned to Facebook for some help on this and recieved the obligatory leather thong, whip, etc, suggestions. The most disturbing ones were when my parents friends (whom I grew up with) started making suggestions of assless chaps and such. It was too much.

Nonetheless, I got a great suggestion from friend to get a leather journal where he and I can exchange notes and pass it back and forth. I thought this was a great idea...and since Tommy always wins the Sweetness Award for Gift Giving, I thought this would help me win this year.

Last night we exchanged gifts.

I gave him my leather journal and I opened my present from him.

Side story: At my friend Ashleys wedding in May, there was a photo booth. In the photo booth, there was a basket of costumes. In the basket of costumes was a fur "aviator hat"...I loved this hat. I tried to buy it from the guy who owned it but he wasn't having it.

Back to the story...

I opened my present to find this leather hat. And it is AWESOME.

Sidenote: Bubba the Thanksgiving Turkey is also shown here. Everyday during November, we write things we are thankful for on pieces of paper and pin them to Bubba. On Thanksgiving we take the notes off and read them...aren't we adorable? This is Bubba's 4th Thanksgiving...he may be on his last turkey leg.

Unfortunately, I think the hat may have been made with real rabbit fur...which is driving Miss Dixie INSANE. The hat may serve more as a Dixie training tool than a fashion statement. She will do anything you ask as long as you are wearing the hat.

While Tommy wins the Coolness Award this time around, I TOTALLY snagged the Sweetness Award. Go me. Winner winner chicken dinner!

I can't believe we have been married for 3 years.

I can't believe anyone has tolerated me as a roomate for 3 years.

The man is a saint.

Here's to many more!!

What My Mama Taught Me.

2010-11-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

My mama taught me some manners. I can't say that I always USE them, but I at least KNOW them.

She taught me that if I go to someones house for dinner I have to eat a little bit of everything. So for example, I went to my BFF Paige's house for dinner the other night and she told me we were having Potato Soup Salad. I ate a little snack beforehand because dude, potato soup salad sounds gross. But I knew I would have to eat a little of it, because that's polite. I just didn't want to starve too.

Turns out that Paige just doesn't like to use punctuation in her texts and we were actually having Potato Soup COMMA Salad...which was quite tasty. It's a shame I wasn't hungry enough to eat all of it.

Fast forward to yesterday at work when we were all sitting around discussing what everyone else was bringing for the potluck today. I said I was bringing mac and cheese and someone said, "It better be homemade, Kraft is gross". I said, "Nah, I'm gonna bring Kraft because the only thing we have to heat it up with is a microwave and microwaved homemade mac is nasty". She said, "That's gross. People will be disappointed."

I almost punched her.

My response to that was, "Well, then you don't have to eat it and you are welcome to bring your own homemade mac".

Let us bear in mind that the person making these comments is my boss.

I may be unemployed tomorrow.

The conversation went on and on about how Kraft is gross (which let's be honest, it's not as good as homemade in any way, shape or form, but it is not gross) and how I am a terrible person and am ruining Thanksgiving, etc...

DUDE. It's the work potluck. It's not even in close proximity to Thanksgiving. I have got to hope that you have more important things to worry about.

Are you allowed to critsize the food that others bring to a potluck? My mama would say no.

Does Ironman Hate Women?

2010-11-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

I dunno, but I when I asked for a refund or deferral to the 2012 race, I got denied. I'm obviously sad that I won't be able to race AND won't be able to get my money back (but a new baby is so much better!)...but even more than that, I'm upset with Ironman (WTC) for having such a crappy policy. You have to sign up for a very expensive race a year in advance and the refund policy is basically non-existant.

I can either forfeit my entire entry ($630) or withdraw and get $150 back...neither of these options are very good.

Anyway, I wrote on Slowtwitch...the triathlete forum where you can get great info about the sport as well as some very opinionted idiots opinions. It will be interesting to see what people say in response to my post...I predict there will be a mixture of idiots and those with valid points. Either way, I love a good debate!

Update: As expected, Slowtwitch is about half and half on the refund debate. Half feel that WTC should offer refunds but not necessarily for pregnancy in particular. A few feel that pregnancy, like maternity leave, should be reimbursed/paid, whathaveyou. And the other half feel that the policy is good (well, actually most hate the policy but believe that WTC can do whatever they want, which I agree with, but that wasn't the original question). And of course, one asshole should be shot. I have been mezmorized by it. Overall (minus the asshole) the perspectives were interesting.

For example: If pregnancy doesn't get a refund because it was a choice, what about military deployment to a war zone? At first I was like, "yeah, that should get a refund!", but then I realized that joining the military was also a choice, and then I was like "well, interesting".

Overall...interesting.

And mad props to my pal Laura who had to have brain surgery last year 4 months before IMCanada. She appealled to the WTC to get a refund/deferment and they denied her (assholes). She raced anyway and rocked it. She was/is my inspiration!!

I'm Not Glowing.

2010-11-02T08:13:00.001-07:00

My face is just greasy.

But thanks for noticing.

Getting Started.

2010-11-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

I'm great at STARTING projects. I HATE finishing them.

This is why our house is in TOTAL disarray.

I STARTED re-organizing the closet in the gym (now the gym/spare room)...but I haven't finished it. This means there are stacks upon stacks of crap that needs to find a home in there. Someday. I just know it.

We cleaned out the closets in the gym/spare room and Cletus's room and put some stuff in trash buckets, some stuff in GoodWill buckets and some stuff in Craigslist buckets. And then we lined all the buckets up in the hallway so as to obstruct any possible forward motion one might want to perform. The dogs see this as an entertaining obstacle course. I see it as a lawsuit. The odds of these items ever leaving the hallway is slim to none.

We are expecting our PotteryBarn PerfectlyMatched PerfectlyWonderful Bedroom set to arrive this weekend, so I posted the ugly old furniture on Craigslist. It sold in less than 3 hours (apparently I priced it WAY too low)..and it sold to a random guy that I know through triathlon. What are the odds? But since we now have no bedroom furniture, all of our clothes are in piles along the walls of the room. This is, once again, very exciting for the dogs. This is not so good for our clothes.

Does Half Price Books take VHS tapes? I have about 50 I need to get rid of.

I wanted to decorate for Christmas this weekend because we will be out of town for the next million weekends and I wanted to be able to enjoy the tree...but of course, I mostly just set up the tree and then got all the rest of the decorations out and put them on the table/counter. At some point, I will finish decorating, but let's be serious. I lost interest in putting up the Christmas tree about halfway in. Thank goodness Tommy got home, otherwise Debbie would only be half done. I don't know Margo!

I'm not great at finishing projects. Oops.

In other news, my girlfriends are hatching crotch parasites all over the place! Jodie hatched on Saturday and Tiffany is being induced today - I can't wait to get to Dallas to see them in a couple of weeks!!

I am finally getting back into the groove of the morning workout. Kind of. I woke up today and headed to the park to meet my friends...and I caught the train. What a great way to be greeted at 5AM. Nonetheless, I had a decent run and it was nice to be running with people again! FINALLY! But DUDE, it is HARD to get back into the morning routine again. I'm one day in and thinking about quitting already. Ha.

On Friday, I had to go buy fat clothes. Not maternity clothes, just fat clothes. My clothes all still fit because, alas I would not be so lucky to be blessed with an adorable little bump, no no no, I got a flabby stomach. At 17 weeks, I have nothing to show for it except a stomach that when you look at it, you think, "Man, she should lay off the Ho-Ho's". So I went and bought some fat shirts. I feel better today because at least I look decent and you can't see my jiggly belly through my shirts anymore. Come on Baby Bump, hurry up and get here already!!

Oh, and BTW, I went as Spock for Halloween. It was lame...but it was comfortable. I sang You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette and everytime I missed a note an angel lost it's wings. Tragic. Lots of wingless angels out there today.

We ordered Cletus's crib on Saturday! It wasn't what we went in for, but it was what we had intended to buy, but never really found. We are very excited!
And I am ordering this bedding today!

Feel free to make unsolicted negative comments about my choice of bedding but since you have terrible taste, you might as well save yourself from carpal tunnel and keep your comments to yourself. :)

Progress is happening...slowly but Shirley.

And don't call me Shirley.

Why Dogs Love Their Owners.

2010-10-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

I a firm believer that yes, dogs CAN feel embarrasment. I am also a firm believer that dressing them up in AWESOME Halloween costumes is not a source of this embarrasment.

Dogs love Halloween and they love to be dressed up in costumes.

I am not allowed into Petco during the holidays anymore because I will buy any dog costume they sell in an XXL. The options are usually limited, but this has not stopped me from accumulating a rather large collection of costumes for my mutts.

They love it. They love posing for the camera. They love the attention they get when they wear them. (I will agree and say that they do not love the hats and things on their ears...but eh, I don't like hats either, and sometimes, they are just necessary. Suck it up Puppy.)

Pee, Pee and More Pee

2010-10-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

Truthfully, other than my totally irrational (yet common) fears that something tragic will happen to my unborn child, the thing I think about most is when I will get to pee again. I am constantly in need of a place to pee.

I can tell you the exact distance (in either feet or minutes) it will take you to reach a bathroom at any given location in the great Houston metroplex. I can probably give you most of the stops on the way to Dallas and the DFW area as well, but don't test me.

I don't know how something so small has the ability to shrink my bladder so significantly but then I start thinking about what will happen when Cletus actually starts to reach full term...I'm totally screwed. I'm gonna buy stock in She-Wee. Maybe I can be their spokesperson!

I ran the Houston Half Marathon yesterday...although my name is not in the results . It's probably better this way...that way there is no proof of my slow time. Ha.

The weather was perfect racing weather for me - kind of warmish (about 80 for you northerners) and humid as hell. Everyone else seemed to be in a tizzy about it, but I heart the humidity. I'm pretty sure Cletus is gonna have gills. Part man, part fish! Almost like a mermaid, but not.

Nonetheless, I had a great race...not because I raced well, because, let's be honest, racing well when you are pregnant isn't all that smart of an idea...but I had a great race because it was great day. And frankly, all in all, I had a good run. I enjoyed my day thoroughly.

HOWEVER.

There's always a "however".

Before the race started - after the prayer, but before the Star Spangled Banner - I had to pee. Again. But I didn't want to wander too far from the start...so I just found a post and went behind that. I told the other guy standing there just to avoid eye contact and we would never talk about this again. Nevermind the 3,000 runners who just got up close and personal with my pasty rear, but as long as you avoid eye contact, they can't tag you on Facebook. GENIUS!

I was feeling pretty good, running with my pal Laura. We were both taking it easy - she is running New York in 2 weeks and I am pregnant (no way!?!) so we were just enjoying the day. I found a bush to pee behind around mile 2...and again around mile 3.5...and thus a trend was born. Laura bailed on me around mile 5 (she wasn't feeling so hot) and I was on my own...peeing on the side of the road of a race is way better when you have a buddy, btw.

I peed 7 times during the half marathon. 7 times. That's more than every 2 miles. No wonder my time was 2 hours and 20 minutes even though I felt like I was running a decent pace. Ha. And I had to refill the water bottle I was carrying at every other water station...

Over the course the race, I peed 7 times (7 times!), drank 3-16 ounce bottles of water, a FULL cup of Gatorade every 2 miles and 4 Clif-Blocs. I'm pretty sure this sets a world record of consumption at the half marathon level. I should have gotten an award.

All in all, I had a great race. Going slow wasn't easy, especially at the end when I felt like a rockstar and could have run 8 minute miles on the last few miles, but I know it was the right thing to do. And ultimately, I acheived my goal of finishing in time to get a shirt in my size (this race is notorious of running out of appropriate sizes). I got my shirt (even though it's ugly as sin), enjoyed my morning and felt like I challenged myself a little...and celebrated with crepes. There is little else more enjoyable than eating a delicious reward after a good race.

I love racing. And I love Cletus. Finding the balance is hard. Especially when I have to pee every 15 minutes.

My Name Is Christy And I Have A Problem.

2010-10-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

You know those weird things you do when you hope no else is looking? Like, reenacting a conversation with someone out loud? Or picking your nose in the car? Or licking the mayonnaise jar? Or unbuttoning your pants before you are all the way in the bathroom stall? Yeah, those things. Those things are weird and socially unacceptable...but everyone does them. (I'd like to point out that mayonnaise is absolutely and complete repulsive and I neither own a jar of mayonnaise nor have I ever eaten mayonnaise just, but you get the idea).

Well, I have a problem.

Before I got pregnant, it wasn't really a problem...it was more of a feature. But now, it's kind of an issue.

I can pee anywhere.

No seriously. I can pee anywhere. I have no problems with dropping trou in broad daylight on the side of the road. I can pee in lakes. I can pee my pants during a run (if necessary to achieve a PR). I can pee my pants during a run if its pouring down rain because, hey, that's just efficient. I have never tried to pee in (or out of) a moving vehicle, but I am certain that should this necessity ever arise, I will rise to the occasion.

The only place I can't pee is while cycling. This is surprisingly kind of an issue when you have the smallest bladder on the planet and your ride partners don't want to stop every 10 miles.

Alas, this life skill has never let me down. The world is my urinal and I am thankful. Thus far in my pregnancy, this skill has been a bonus, because as we all know, pregnancy is a mean, mean trick that life plays on your bladder and you are constantly thirsty and constantly have to pee. On runs I can just run my normal routes and hope that I dn't get arrested when I pee in the yards of the politicians who live in River Oaks...it's a feature. No need to wait for the port-a-cans the homeless people stink up at the park. The world is out there and needs to be watered!

This feature has never let me down...until yesterday.

Yesterday I was running errands after work when, lo and behold, I had to pee (for the 97 thousandth time that day). As I walked between Michaels and REI, I crossed over a nice patch of grass with some shrubberies and I thought to myself, "Oh, I could just pee here". No, I really considered just peeing in the parking lot of the store.

WTF?

It's 6PM. It's light outside. I'm at a strip mall. It's a small shrubbery. It's illegal, inappropriate and THERE ARE BATHROOMS IN THE FRIGGIN STORE! (The bathrooms are probably in the back or the store and not nearly as convenient as this shrubbery, but seriously? Seriously?!)

Yeah, that was one of those stupid things you hope no one ever sees you do (or think). I was mortified that it even crossed my mind. Apparently I have been too free with my peeing experiences. My bladder is starting to forget what is appropriate and what is not. I think my bladder may need to be held back.

For the record, I did not pee in the parking lot. Nor did I pee in the store. I was too embarrassed. I got my new BOB Ironman Stroller from REI and ran out of there! First baby purchase = COMPLETE!

It's Ugly. It's REAL Ugly.

2010-10-21T09:02:00.001-07:00

I am now 15 weeks pregnant (that's just over 3 months for those of you who don't count in weeks). I thought for sure by now I would have gotten these bigger hooters that everyone talks about, but alas, they are the same sad sacks they have always been. It's tragic really.

I also spent most of Tuesday lamenting my lack of baby bump. I bought a halloween costume a couple of months ago, that I thought would accomodate my growing waistline (I was going as Spock. Ha.), so that even if I just looked fat, I wouldn't be uncomfortable in it. But i've always wanted to be a Slutty German Barmaid. I've never been anything slutty for Halloween before and darn it, I WILL be a barmaid. Someday.

So, on Tuesday, after mucho lamenting, I packed up Tommy and we headed to Frankel's (Houston's best Halloween costume emporium) to get my Slutty German Barmaid costume. While there is still a chance I could get a belly between now and next weekend, there was a bigger chance that Frankel's would run out of the costume...and this was a risk I was not willing to take. So, a Slutty German Barmaid costume I know possess.

Alas, I got it home, once again, after much lamenting about my lack of belly, put it on and lo and behold, I have a belly. I wouldn't call it a Baby Bump per se, but I definitely have a FUPA where I did not have a FUPA before.

Slutty German Barmaids should not have FUPAs. Unless by some stroke of baby love, my FUPA disappears and is replaced by an actual baby bump, I will be singing Crocodile Rock dressed as Spock.

He can hit a mean falseto.

I Can't Resist

2010-10-21T06:14:00.001-07:00

A dog video for your entertainment. The tortoise always wins. Stupid mutt.

How Do I Love Thee?

2010-10-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

I love the Ironman. I LOVE the Ironman. Ironman is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Beer is also this proof, but I am a wine girl, so eh, I'll stick with Ironman.

I know it's a for-profit corporation that gets free manual labor on race day and exploits the little guy, yada yada yada...it's like Wal-mart, except that unlike Wal-mart, I will allow you to participate.

I could never quite put into words why I preferred the Ironman branded races over other "iron-distances" races, but having attended Redman full iron distance race, I can safely say that the extra $400 is $400 well spent. Dude, just fork over the dough, get your Ironman branded gear and call it day. Call yourself an Ironman.

Kona was last weekend, my Superbowl, and I spent my evening, on my couch, watching the live feed, and crying as people crossed the finish line. Maybe its the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it's because I always cry when I talk about triathlon...I just love it!

I am super sad to be missing out on IMTexas in May...but Cletus and I will be there to cheer on Papa Blain (who I hope has as much fun as I had in Cozumel!) I'd like to point out that the only purchase we have made thus far for our growing child is the Ironman BOB Stroller. Yeah, it's a problem. I could care less about Gucci and Louis Vuitton, but brand it with an M-dot and I'll pay a fortune for it. Ridiculous.

We will be in Cozumel to cheer on all our friends this year at the race and I can only imagine the jealousy I will have for all of them. I'm green just thinking about it!

I'm not going to do the indoor triathlon this weekend...I'm just gonna suck it up and do the half marathon that Tommy is doing. It will be more fun anyway since everyone I know is doing it. Poor Tommy will finish in about 1:30...and then I will finish sometime before noon. Haha. He will have plenty of time to go get me some lunch before I finish. I miss my speed!!

Pottery Barn.

2010-10-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but Pottery Barn threw up in my house. It's like that Friends episode where Rachel and Phoebe live together and Rachel decorates the entire house in Pottery Barn stuff, but has to lie to Phoebe - "oh, this is an antique apothecary table...not at all from Pottery Barn".

Yeah, Pottery Barn threw up in my house.

It's not that I am super into trendy stuff or actually decorate like the PB catalog suggests (although, I would if I could afford it slash had someone to dust all that crap), but it's more that the furniture is just my style. I like clean lines with a bit of whimsy. Basically, Pottery Barn is my furniture haven.

BTW - If you aren't currently reading this blog, you should be.

If I had the patience slash time, I would spend my Saturdays shopping all over town to find cool pieces to make my bedroom set...OR I could just go online and buy some PB stuff and spend the rest of my day lounging like the vegetable I desire to be. New furniture is just a click away!!

We have been meaning to buy new bedroom furniture for about 4 years. The stuff we are currently using is the hideous stuff that Tommy's ex-wife picked out. Not only is it the furniture that the ex-wife picked out (although, this bothers me not at all, it's a good excuse to convince Tommy that we NEED new furniture), but it's ugly and poorly made...and we have moved it approximately 14 times in 4 years. Crappy furniture just can't take that kind of abuse. So it's awful and in awful condition.

Alas, I have finally decided to bite the bullet and just buy the stupid Pottery Barn furniture I have loved for 4 years. I kept waiting for something better to come along so my house wouldn't be all Pottery Barn-ed out (I just don't respect myself!), but in 4 years, I still NEED that bed. It's gonna happen.

In other news, we will FINALLY be able to ditch our current crap...we broke the bed a few years ago (brown chicken brown cow!), but the ugly dressers are up for grabs. We will probably just leave them on the the curb...not sure anyone would buy them.

Phoebe, don't hate me. You know you love it. Darn you Pottery Barn and your overpriced crap!

Pregnancy Glow

2010-10-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

I don't have it. I don't know anyone who has had it (sorry friends - I lied to your faces). I know it's still early for me to get it, but really, with all this acne, I just dont see how it would be possible anyway.

I'm a firm believer that the Pregnancy Glow is just a way to make formerly thin people feel better about themselves. It's like when you tell a bride it's good luck if it rains on her wedding day. It's not good luck. It just makes them feel better when it rains on their wedding day. Nevermind that the entire outdoor ceremony is ruined. Hey, it's good luck!

The sheer number of zits I have have to pop each day would challenge a teenagers counting skills. And if I do appear to be glowing, it's because I am as sweaty as a a marathoner...and while a marathoner may APPEAR to be glowing, trust me, they aren't. They are starving. Their cheeks are flushed from sheer starvation and dehydration. I'm sweaty and a flight of stairs is daunting.

I'm not glowing. And it's not good luck if it rains on your wedding day.

And if you say it one more time, I will shoot my next zit into your eye.

********************************

In other news, I found a triathlon that I can race! It's indoor, which is super lame, but that also means that I can do it, so that's super not lame!

Kona is this weekend which means I will be glued to my computer screen for most of the day watching the live feed.

I heard Cletus's heartbeat yesterday afternoon - 164bpm. Tommy heard it a few weeks ago, but the deaf often get delayed gratification. Alas, it has a heart and it beats. Very fastly. Yayy!!

Cat's Out of the Bag

2010-10-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Now that the cat is FINALLY out of the bag, I can gossip about all the joys and un-joys of being pregnant.

But let's be honest, the joys aren't all that funny, and people's happiness is generally sickening and irritating, so for now let's focus on the horror that is baby bedding.

We don't yet know the gender of our future child, but we do plan on finding out as soon as possible. Yes, I know it's one of life's great surprises, blah blah blah, but really, it's still a surprise when they tell you during the ultrasound. So even if you find out BEFORE that bundle of pooping joy is in your arms, it's STILL a surprise. Take that naysayers!

And since I don't tolerate surprises well anyway, it's better that I find out after a full nights sleep and without holding any precious cargo.

We will find out as soon as a weiner or lack thereof is visible. I'm pretty sure the 50% accuracy of the Chinese Gender Prediction chart has guessed me right anyway, so it's a moo point. A cow's opinion.

Regardless of Cletus's gender, I will likely go the neutral bedding/decor route, so I have been scouring the internet in search of baby bedding that doesn't make me want to hurl. And unfortunately, this is few and far between. Pair this search with morning sickness and I have spent a lot of time praying to the porcelain god.

In my search, I found a lot of this:

Even more of this:

And thank the good Lord, I saw very little of this:

The search continues, despite the efforts of Winnie the Pooh and Pastel Paint. I will overcome you!!